To my very first reviewer... Um, this is not Zucest... Sorry XD I just... don't like it to be that way... Think of it more as a brotherly/sisterly relationship. But yeah... As seen in my fanfic, they are not related at all... So it's likely that they may develop a romantic relationship in the future chapters... Thanks for the review by the way... :) And thanks for those who read this as well :D
So yeah, this is a pretty long chapter by the way... Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Effloresce
(Azula's POV)
I was woken up when the owners' daughter barged in and yelled at me to do the chores. I blinked several times and tried to sit up straight at my bed.
"Hey! Wake up and start cleaning!" she bit her lip in fury and pulled my hair.
"Stop it!" I screamed forcibly in pain as she dragged me down to the floor and slapped my face.
"Then stop ignoring my commands and start doing your job." She told me and quickly stormed off the room.
Iya… She is of my age… She somehow reminded me of how I used to treat my servants back in the palace… Well, I guess karma really comes back around… But what took it so long?
I smiled bitterly and close my eyes shut. Tears escaped from the corner of my eyes as flashbacks soon came to replace my vision.
I remember the first day I came here… I remember the day when I ran away and left everything behind me. My own mother didn't want me back… Well, I convinced her to let me stay eventually but she still didn't want me around…
She yells at me every day… She too thinks that I'm a monster and told me that I should've just rotten away in the asylum… She hurts me as if I'm not her own child… I guess that's just what mothers are like… I never had and will never have a good one…
I looked outside the windows. Last night seemed like a blur, until I remembered about Zuko and quickly ran through the hallway to check the room he slept in last night.
He was gone. Instead, it was the owners' son, Yejun, who was in there.
"I think it's for you…" he said arrogantly as he handed out a letter to me without batting an eye.
I rolled my eyes as I silently grabbed the letter and unfolded it. It was from Zuko. My heart beat fast and I quickly walked back to my room, leaving the door ajar. I started reading the letter silently while I carefully sat on my bed.
I'm sorry that I have left early… I need to be back before dawn… It suddenly came into my mind that there would be a formal meeting early in the morning….
Thanks about last night, my wounds and bruises miraculously healed very quickly and I felt a lot better.
And I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I'm sorry for forcing you too much… I understand… But please, if you need something, I'm right here… Azula, I just can't leave everything behind and forget them all… You're my sister at one point in my life and you'll always be… Take care of yourself and be okay…
Anyways, Sokka and Suki will be arriving in a matter of two days… They've been dying to see you again… I hope you don't mind if I'd be inviting you to some dinner with them… They're your close friends after all, right? See you soon, Azula…
- Zuko
I put up a faint smile as I folded back the letter and kept it inside my drawer.
You see, before I left and ran away from him, we really had a close relationship between each other. It's not that romantic kind of thing… But after 17 years, I finally treated him as my sibling. I learned how to trust him, I cared for him and I loved him as my elder brother. I would always look up to him and I felt safe around his presence. He cheers me up and life never felt so good. That was all until I knew everything. That was all until I knew the truth about myself.
Maybe that's why it was hard for him to let go… I was the only one left. Dad is in prison, mom's gone and yet, I still chose to run away from him. I guess if this would happen to any other siblings in the world just like Sokka and Katara, it would be hard for them take too…
Oh well, it's life anyway… I just have to take it and deal with it…
I was about to exit my room to finish some chores, but Mother stood in front of me and made her way inside. She opened my drawer and took the letter without uttering a word. She scanned her eyes through it and faced me with an infuriated look when she's done reading.
"Zuko?!" she asked me with an angered voice. "If the owners find out that someone slept in here without permission, we'd all lose our jobs… Even if it is the Fire Lord…" she whispered and looked at me straight in the eye.
"Are you an idiot?!" she slapped me and pulled my hair.
"I'm… I'm sorry, mother…" my eyes started to water as I try to catch my breath. I shook my head down and refused to look at her.
"Sorry?! I don't accept apologies like that, young lady…" she slapped me once more and shoved me away.
"Well, fine. But do you really think that he's telling you the truth?! No, he's just messing with you… He doesn't really treat you like you're his true sibling… I don't think you're moronic enough to believe in it, are you?" she told me with a high pitched voice as she cupped my chin and glared at me with pure hatred. She mockingly smiled at me. "Wake up Azula… You know the reason behind of all our miseries… It's because you're a monster, a terrible one..."
"Now repeat after me, 'I'm a monster…' Say it, sweetie" she mocked me with a fake sweet voice, still cupping my chin as she pinned me onto the wall with a death glare.
"Say it!" she yelled at my face and I closed my eyes shut.
Why does everyone have to shove it in my face? Why does she have to put the blame on me? Why is everyone so terrible to me? Why do they hate me? Why can't I live a normal life without anyone telling me how terrible I am? You see, I'm trying to change… I gave up my old self just so that I can live on the bright side of life… I'm trying to be a better person and I'm working hard for it. But I think I'll forever remain to live this way… I guess I'll never be happy… I want to give up…
"Are you going to say it or what?!" she snapped at me and raised her other fist, ready to hurt me in anytime.
I gulped with my eyes shut and another teardrop escaped from the corner of my eye, "I'm a monster" I muttered softly. It's true… I am a monster…
"Louder!"
"Why are you doing this to me?! What have I done wrong to you?!" I shouted at her as I try to defend myself at least.
"You want to know why…? I wish you were never born!" she screamed back at me and dragged me carelessly on to the floor.
Those words hit me hard… I silenced myself…. My heart was thumping and tears flow uncontrollably. I opened my eyes and asked her a simple question. "Why…?"
She started crying as well… She was left speechless and was unable to answer my question.
She sighed irritably as she eventually stepped out of the room and banged the door shut very loudly. My eyes widened as I suddenly heard the clacking sound from the doorknob outside.
"Mother, please! Don't do this!" I ran to the door before it's too late. But as usual, when in try to open it, it wouldn't.
Here I am in this room again, locked up. It feels just like the old days back in the asylum. I laughed bitterly and stared at the ceiling. When will the cycle ever seem to stop?
I screamed and I screamed til' my throat hurts… When will it stop…? I pounded the door for numerous times, trying to get myself out.
When will I ever see the light at the end of the tunnel? Wait… No. I just hope a train will come hurtling through and kill me instead….
*Next Day*
I woke up and pretended as if nothing had happened yesterday. I started my day as if I wasn't locked up for hours yesterday.
I slowly stood up from my bed and hoped the door isn't locked anymore. And when I try to open it, I'm glad it isn't.
I proceeded to wear my servant attire and did the chores for the morning. And in the afternoon, I continued my work in the restaurant.
And when I arrived back in the evening, there was a Fire Nation guard standing in front of the gate.
"Fire Lord Zuko has sent you something." He said stiffly and walked away after he handed me a wide half-meter length box.
I went inside my room and closed the door. I opened the box Zuko gave me. Inside it was a beautiful crimson dress and another small wrapped gift.
I kept the dress inside my closet and I proceeded to unwrap the other gift he gave me. It was a painting of our family which was taken at our vacation house back in Ember Island.
I slightly titled my head upwards and sighed. Well, everything seemed to be perfect back then. Those days in the palace, you'd hear nothing but mellifluous laughter. Zuko and I were young, we used to get along together as kids until we both became involved in the war. Everything was destroyed. Memories were destroyed, mom was gone, and I broke. I guess that's how things are really meant to be. Once they're destroyed, you can never go back and fix everything… Well, I guess you can, but the past would forever remain in your memory...
*… Next Day… *
After I do the chores and went off to work, I prepared myself for the dinner that Zuko have arranged.
I walked over to the closet and took out the dress that Zuko had sent me yesterday. I was about to wear it when Iya surprisingly came in.
"You need to clean my room." She commanded and glared at me with her arms crossed. She noticed the dress I was holding…
"That looks great." She commented as she slowly walked towards me. She touched the dress with a smirk on her face, I know what she's planning to do. But I was too late, she took it from me and ran away with it. How foolish could I be?
I chased her through the hallways, "Iya! Stop! Come back here!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
She stopped when we have reached the veranda. She played a mischievous grin on her face as she put her arm outside the fencing with the dress hanging from her grip.
"This looks great. It would be a shame if someone would destroy it…."
"Please… Don't do this!" I carefully took a step closer with a frightened expression written on my face.
"Okay… You kiss my feet and I'll give this back to you…" she told me without batting an eye and kept on inspecting her nails.
I doubtfully knell down and slowly bowed my head to kiss her bare feet. I can't help but to sob very softly. It's like I am a mighty eagle with broken wings that can't fly anymore. I used to call most people weak but now I'm one of them.
"Oops, too late" she grinned as she dropped the dress from the veranda down to the muddy puddle.
I gasped. I stiffly stood up and gave her a hateful glare as I try to catch my breath from all the sobs. I was planning to tackle her and give her a lesson but I just decided to turn away and quickly run outside to get back the dress.
It was all covered in mud now… I can't believe what's happening… I couldn't believe that I've done all of that and humiliated myself in front of her for nothing… How weak have I really become to let them do all of these to me…? I can't even defend myself like it used to be before…
(Zuko's POV)
I stood at the gates. I was already starting to get bored. It's been thirty minutes already and she's not yet here. I'm beginning to think that something must've happened. My heart kept on telling me to go find her.
But finally, after a few more waits, I can clearly see her from a distance. But why isn't she wearing the dress that I gave to her? Instead, she's wearing a white blouse and an ankle length green skirt with a few mud stains.
As always, she had her hair down. She's always beautiful. But as she came closer, I can completely recognize her face. Her eyes were slightly reddish and puffy. Was she crying the whole time?
Out of curiosity and worry, I quickly ran and approached her before she even enters the gates.
There she stood still and tilted her head upwards to face me. I held her shoulders and looked directly at her eyes. "Did something happen to you? Is it him again?" I asked her with my eyes widened and with a concerned look.
"No… I.. I'm perfectly fine." She stuttered with a small smile as she looked sideways.
"By the way, where's the box I sent to you yesterday? We're you able to receive it?"
"Yes, I did…" she answered me with an unsure expression. " The dress… I... I'm terribly sorry… I… I ruined it..." She stuttered with various hand gestures as her eyes began to tear up. She quickly bowed and knelled down in front of me after she apologized.
"Hey, you don't have to that…" I spoke gently as I held out my hand to help her stand up. I stroked her hair and tuck a part behind her ear. I smiled and placed my hand above her shoulder. "Cheer up Azula, it's just a dress…" I told her. "You're still pretty anyway..." she giggled softly. I love it when she does that.
"Zuko… How can you do these things to me?" she asked me calmly with a hint of curiosity beneath her eyes.
"Do what?" I asked back.
"I don't know…. It's just whenever you're here with me, I feel better… You make me forget everything that I'm going through…." She explained with a small hopeful smile. "Zuko, can I ask you one thing?"
"Anything."
"Can you promise me you'll never leave? Can you promise me to stay here…?" she looked up to me with watery eyes and started to sound like a troubled kid… She sounded so broke… I can feel the pain marked through her words… I have never seen her look so… afraid.
"I promise." I hugged her so tight and let all the tears flow out from my eyes. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes very tightly as I rest my head on her shoulders. I can't stand seeing her like this. I can't stand seeing her so hurt and troubled.
This sadness, I can't describe it. Were here together but it seems like were far away from each other. I don't know what I'm feeling… My heart is just aching so bad to see her like this. Who would've thought the dangerously evil and heartless Fire Princess I once knew would succumb into me and cry into my arms?
Azula's POV
Zuko and I decided to come inside the palace. Nothing had change, not even a single thing. We walked through the hallways. As I pass by, I could remember everything that has happened in this place when we were kids. I can see the four year old me chasing Zuko around. And I can see mom and dad standing together at the corner with smiles on their faces.
I meet Sokka again after a whole year of not seeing him completely. It's feels great. Sokka's been my friend ever since I was in the asylum. I was hesitant at first when he came in front of me, but we soon became friends and my mood would be always positive whenever he's around. He's one of the reasons why I'm brought back to sanity. He had helped me with almost everything I needed.
Suki, she would always remind me of Ty Lee. She's cheerful and just… so bright. I don't know why she ever chose me to be her friend… But I'm glad she did… She changed a lot as well. When I first met her, she was so cold, tough and very assertive… She's different from the old Suki I knew.
She ran towards me and squeezed my body with a tight hug. She beamed and looked at me very carefully, "You've changed a lot…"
Well, everything went great. We exchanged stories, we laughed and everyone is just happy. It felt wonderful. I just wish that tonight would never seem to end. I wish I wouldn't have to go back to the awful reality I'm living in. I should've just stayed here with Zuko, but I understand that I have a whole family to live and to give some support to. Maybe this is how my life is supposed to be, sometimes a fairytale and sometimes a nightmare.
Zuko called me out as I was about to leave and walk my way out to through the gates. "Wait! Can you stay for a little while?"
I paused and looked back past my shoulders. I gave him a nod and walked over to where he is standing. When I got there, he held my hand and we started walking away together. I don't know where we're heading to so I tried to ask him with a matching stare.
"Here we are…" he replied coolly and I cut off my eye contact from him. My eyes widened, there I saw the Royal Garden right in front of me.
My heart suddenly beat fast. The place brings back so many memories, both bad and good.
"What are we doing here…?"
"I… I just thought that maybe I could show you something…" he answered me with a faint secretive smile.
"Okay, Zuzu…" I returned the smile back as we took a sit together on a small bench near the turtle duck pond. I wandered my eyes through the whole area. The garden looks wonderful by the way, even at night. It is beautifully lit by the tall post lamps and it still looked the same way back then.
Zuko silently took out a pack of bread chunks from his pocket.
"I know you never liked to do this but it's worth giving a shot…" He told me as he offered me to throw a piece of bread to the pond and feed the turtle ducks.
I sighed and took a bit of bread from the packet. "Is this what I came here for Zuzu?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow as I carefully threw the bit of bread to feed the turtle ducks. I smiled as I saw the turtle ducks approached the bit of bread I threw to the pond. They seemed look happy. I was never good at feeding turtle ducks so this is kind of an achievement for me.
"See, they like you…" Zuko commented cheerfully and I chuckled.
"Can you count one to three for me?" he asked out of the blue as he placed his hand above mine.
"Okay… One, two, three." I counted with a bored tone.
But after I spoke, bright and colorful fireworks came illuminating the dark skies. My eyes were widened and I was amazed. My heart felt so blissful and my eyes were filled with joy.
"You really do know how to amuse me, do you?" I spoke and looked at him after the display.
He offered me a smile and slowly tucked me into a hug. "You don't have to be so sad and angered all the time… Sometimes, you need to happy too. Azula, I hope I made your day. I promise to you that I'd never leave…"
"Okay. I get it, Zuzu…" He looked back to me and I rolled my eyes with a sigh. I shook my head down and crossed my arms, then I glanced back at him with a small smile. "Thanks."
Time came passing by and I needed to go back. Zuko offered to take me home and when he already left, I saw my mother drinking along the doorstep. I quickly approached her and tried to stop what she's doing.
"Mother… Why are you doing this? Stop drinking…" I snapped at her and tried to grab away the bottle of alcohol she's drinking.
She faced me ineptly with tears streaming down on her face. "Kiyara?" she asked me while she sobbed and held my shoulders with a depressed look on her face.
Before I could even tell her that it was me whom she's talking too, she quickly cut me off. "Do you remember your father, sweetie? It's his birthday today…" she grinned while crying hysterically. She grabbed back the bottle from me and drank it very excessively.
I have never seen her like this before. Usually, she's angered and terrifying. But now, I just have no words to describe how she is right now… Maybe she's depressed on how about dad is not with us anymore. But so am I… It hurts not seeing your own father in personal but I think it hurts even more for her.
"Remember the reason why he's not with us anymore? He really didn't die of eye cancer…" I am confused… But that's what she had told me. That's what everyone has told me. They all told me that father had died from eye cancer… How come it's not? Is it her just being drunk? Or is she telling me the truth?
I kept my mouth shut and decided not to tell her that it was me. Maybe there is something that I needed to know...
"Your twin sister killed him in the war… Now sweetie, how funny is that?!" she told me madly and cackled crazily as if what I heard from her was some kind of joke.
"You know, I really feel bad for hating on your twin… But what she's done to your father?! I know she doesn't know what she's done… But it hurts a lot for me…"
I covered my mouth in shock and tears are flowing. Now I understand everything. I killed my own father... But...
"How did she kill father again?" I asked mother and pretended to be Kiyara as I joined her along the doorstep.
"Don't you remember? She executed him because she accused him of being a traitor…" after she explained it, the memories soon swarmed into my mind.
It was him? I… I didn't even know it at that time… But it's my fault… It's always my fault. I'm a huge mistake… I'm the reason why mother lost his husband and I'm also the reason why my siblings lost a father. I'm the reason why I didn't even get to know him…
Why? I can't blame Agni for making my life like this… But… What have I done wrong to deserve these? You see, I was just a kid who grew up too fast and I was controlled by a very cruel man. Isn't that enough? Isn't enough that I didn't have any childhood to live? Isn't enough that I lost everything including my fire bending? Why does it have to be like this? Why does it have to be me?
"Oh, yeah… I see…" I replied with tears as I grabbed another bottle of alcohol beside her and drank it. After being back from a fairy tale, I'm now back inside a horrible nightmare.
It was my first time getting drunk and I didn't bother the horrible taste at all. As long as I can forget everything momentarily and get my heart to be numb again, it's all right.
Thanks for reading the whole thing ;)
And I'm sorry if I have to make Azula seem too weak in this Chapter.
Chapter Plot: Zuko invites Azula on a dinner upon Sokka and Suki's arrival. Azula also knew the reason why her mother hated her ever since her arrival. And that is because Azula had killed her own biological father...
My school year is gonna start next week :""( I'll be busy and everything, but I promise to update at least every week :)