Chapter 3: F*8^-Up Message

"Uh, I'm here to talk you through some of the things you can expect to see during your first week here and to help you get started down this new and exciting career path."

Weird, but okay! "By the way dude, this isn't even CLOSE to exciting, dipshit" I said, twirling my stun baton.

"Uh, now, I wantyou to forget anything you may have heard about the old location, you know. Uh, some people still have a somewhat negative impression of the company. Uh... that old restaurant was kind of left to rot for quite a while, but I want to reassure you, Fazbears Entertainment is committed to family fun and above all, safety."
"They've spent a small fortune on these new animatronics, uh, facial recognition, advanced mobility, they even let them walk around during the day. Isn't that neat? But most importantly, they're all tied into some kind of criminal database, so they can detect a predator a mile away. Heck, we should be paying them to guard you."

I dropped my baton at that one." WHY in the FUCKING FUCK would you-"

"Uh, now that being said, no new system's without its... kinks."

"Kinks? You mean kinky, right?"

"Uh... you're only the second guard to work at that location. Uh, the first guy finished his week, but complained about... conditions."

I checked my cameras. Everyone was in their place.

"So WHAT CONDITIONS, ASSHOLE!"

"Uh, we switched him over to the day shift, so hey, lucky you, right? Uh mainly he expressed concern that certain characters seemed to move around at night, and even attempted to get into his office. Now, from what we know, that should be impossible. Uh, that restaurant should be the safest place on earth. So while our engineers don't really have an explanation for this, the working theory is that... the robots were never given a proper "night mode". So when it gets quiet, they think they're in the wrong room, so then they go try to find where the people are, and in this case, that's your office. So our temporary solution is this: there's a music box over by the Prize Counter, and it's rigged to be wound up remotely. So just, every once in a while, switch over to the Prize Counter video feed and wind it up for a few seconds. It doesn't seem to affect all of the animatronics, but it does affect... one of them."

"FUCK YOU SO HARD RIGHT NOW!"

Uh, and as for the rest of them, we have an even easier solution. You see, there may be a minor glitch in the system, something about robots seeing you as an endoskeleton without his costume on, and wanting to stuff you in a suit, so hey, we've given you an empty Freya Fazbear head, problem solved! You can put it on anytime, and leave it on for as long as you want. Eventually anything that wandered in, will wander back out.

I picked up the mask, and looked at it in disbelief

"How the hell does that work? And what does he mean by 'stuff me in a suit?'"

"Uh, something else worth mentioning is kind of the modern design of the building. You may have noticed there are no doors for you to close, heh. But hey, you have a light! And even though your flashlight can run out of power, the building cannot. So, don't worry about the place going dark. Well, I think that's it. Uh, you should be golden. Uh, check the lights, put on the Freddy head if you need to, uh, keep the music box wound up, piece of cake. Have a good night, and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

CLICK

I then looked at the phone in disbelief.

"You have got to be shitting me."

I looked at my cameras to see what he meant by 'moving animatronics.' I wasn't seeing any of them move or anything! So what the hell did he mean by-

"Hello, endo!"

My head shot up to see one of the animatronics right damn there. Holy crap, the dude wasn't lying! I saw a chicken… or was it a duck? It had on pink panties, a bib that said 'Let's Party!' and a cupcake in one hand. It was about 5" 9' with D tits, and a perfectly sculpted body, with no animatronic parts that I could see, but that wasn't what I was worrying about.

"OH, DAMN, NOOOO!"

I slammed that mask on my face with reflexes faster than mongoose. I am NOT going to die tonight!

"Screw you, I'm just stayin in here!"

The chicken (or duck.) Walked over to my desk and sat on it, smiling.

"You can't stay in there forever, or Mary will get you!"

"Mary? Who's Mary?"

That's when I heard a "Pop goes the Weasel" tune go off. The chicken or a duck slid off my desk and walked to one side of the wall.

"Your about my to find out"

What the hell does she… oh SHIT! The music box! I totally forgot about it!

"OHHHH SHIT!"

The chicken then laughed. I looked at her, half angry, half scared.

"It won't be so bad! All we are doing is giving you your own costume!

"I DON'T WANT MY OWN COSTUME"

I looked down the hallway only to see a black thing with a face tackle me-HARD-and my head hit the floor with the impact. The last thought I had was this.

"Why does the thing that's tackling me have little cushions on its chest?"