3.

Zoro groaned as he saw the pile of papers sitting on his desk. Across the room a dark-haired man peered over a similar tower of files with a dark chuckle. "The good Inspector having you fix all the mistakes in your paperwork too?"

"Shut up, Johnny. Usopp fucked these up, not me."

"Sure. Whatever you say brother."

Zoro took his seat and began to flip through the upper strata of forms. "Hey, Johnny?"

"Yeah, brother?"

"If I gave you my next bonus would you fix these damn forms for me?"

Johnny raised an eyebrow, "Hot date?"

"No way, dumbass. Just don't want to cancel on my sparring partner today."

Johnny shrugged and pushed his glasses back up his nose. "It's fine with me brother. Make sure you call me up so we can go out drinking again sometime. Yosaku and I haven't gotten to cut loose in a while."

Zoro grinned, "Of course I will. Thanks for the favor. I owe you one."

Johnny waved goodbye as Zoro trotted off to change out of his uniform. It had only been about a month, but sparring with Sanji every week had already become an important routine. The blonde asshole really knew how to present a challenge; no matter what he tried, Zoro just could not get a clear win off the guy. Of course Sanji had never beaten Zoro either, and so each spar was an intense deadlock with both fighters only getting stronger and more creative. Zoro loved it. He thought of this weekly appointment as part of his training.

Zoro slipped on his favorite jacket-the wind had some bite this time of year-and stuffed his badge into the pocket. As he strode toward the front door, he pulled out his phone to check for messages. He frowned as he listened to a panicked message from Usopp. There was something about a 'big boss breathing fire' and 'run for your life' among some colorful pleas for rescue, but as a whole it made no sense. Zoro sighed. That stupid longnose better not have set the apartment on fire again. Twice in a month was already too much. Zoro didn't know if he could keep them from being thrown out on to the street if the their landlord got another visit from the fire department.

"Officer Roronoa." Zoro froze in mid-step and a chill ran down his spine. He would rather deal with an eviction right now than him. Steel-colored eyes pinned Zoro in place as the new Inspector leaned from his office doorway. "I need to meet with you. Now. That is unless you are... busy?"

Zoro saw the man cast a suspicious glance toward Zoro's mysteriously clean desk. Damn. "No, sir. Now is fine." His boss grunted in satisfaction and vanished back into his lair. Zoro growled in irritation and dialed Sanji to leave him a message. "Hey, shit-cook. I can't make it to the gym today. Sorry. My boss wants to 'talk'. I'll make it up to you, so don't get your panties in a knot."

Zoro marched through the door to certain doom, and took the unoccupied seat in front of the Inspector's desk. Usopp was already seated in the other chair, sending a forlorn look toward his partner. At least the weird phone message was explained. His other partner, Brook, stood silently in the far corner. Zoro wouldn't have even seen him through the haze of cigar smoke if it weren't for the light reflecting off his metal skeleton. Brook nodded a mute hello, gears clicking and the lights in his eyesockets glowing a dull red.

"Oh thank you so much for kindly making time at my sudden request." Zoro scowled. The monotone statement was dripping with sarcasm, just in case the sneer on the Inspector's face hadn't clued him in properly. "Roronoa, I'll be blunt so maybe you can understand. Your team is a disgrace to this district. Only three arrests in the last week, and thousands of dollars worth of property damage." The sneer made way for a cigar as the Inspector lit up mid lecture. "Right now you're not worth the pretty uniform you run around in, but don't worry…" Zoro clenched his fists to keep himself from knocking out a few teeth. He didn't allow anyone to talk down to him. Usopp was watching Zoro's reactions with worry, prepared to have to save the Inspector's life at some point. Brook was calmly staring back into the Inspector's steely eyes, but the sharp clicking of the joints in his fists betrayed his irritation. The Inspector continued without pause, "...I am going to manage you personally, and so help me, your performance will improve." Three pairs of eyes followed the movement as the Inspector tapped his cigar thoughtfully against his ashtray. "We've got a good tip on a big one. You are familiar with the out-smugglers that call themselves Strawhats?" Zoro nodded, "At least you're not deaf then. We're going to take this one down, and then you'll see. The whole out-smuggling operation in Old Philadelphia will be easy pickings. Even for a fuck-up like you." The Inspector leaned in close, "If you refuse to work according to my rules, Roronoa, I will have you removed from my district, and transferred into the deepest cesspool I can find."

Zoro met his boss, glare for glare. He would show this asshole what he was capable of, and not to fucking underestimate his city. This fucker thought he could take down the local underworld so easily? Fine. Zoro would work with him, and then let this gene-altered mother-fucker with a fucking power trip, take the heat for once when all his hot-shot plans bit the dust. "Your rules will be fine, sir."

The Inspector leaned back with a warped smirk, lighting another cigar before the first was even finished. "Just what I like to hear. This is what I want your team to do. Take notes..."

-/-/-/-/-/-

Over two hours later, Zoro and his team retreated wearily down the station hall, their boss watching them carefully from his office doorway. "Inspector Smoker?" He turned from scowling at Usopp's too-long hair to glare at his secretary. She was unfazed by his expression and held out an armful of documents. "Sir, I need you to look over these reports. They were just resubmitted."

Smoker took the stack and thumbed through a few forms. After a moment he paused and began to curse colorfully under his breath. These were Roronoa's damn files, and it appeared the fucker didn't think he was smart enough to notice that someone else had fixed them! "That ugly, green, son-of-a-bitch…!" Smoker would make Zoro wish he had never shown his stupid green hair in this station!