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A Prayer for My Daughter

"Considering that, all hatred driven hence,

The soul recovers radical innocence

And learns at last that it is self-delighting,

Self-appeasing, self-affrighting,

And that its own sweet will is Heaven's will;

She can, though every face should scowl

And every windy quarter howl

Or every bellows burst, be happy still." -W.B. Yeats

Charming

Clay stood outside of the clubhouse waiting for the truck with the shipment. He always checked it out himself, on his turf before he had the boys bring it to the warehouse. He took out his stogy and lit it up. This exchange was sure to be interesting, McKeavey let it be known that he wouldn't be alone on this one. He'd be with one of Jimmy's men and that caused Clay's hackles to rise. Not only had they been less timely in their shipments in recent months but they had the audacity to imply that they couldn't be trusted?

"They're just down the road. Retard just called." Tig said as he came to stand by his President. Something didn't feel right and Tig had learned to listen to that voice. You didn't survive in Mogadishu by ignoring the voices in your head.

Clay nodded and took a puff as they waited and a few minutes later the truck pulled up. He smiled as he saw all the drums but that smile faltered when Juice got out and was practically vibrating with anger. Clay didn't know what to do with the boy. When he'd started prospecting he was laid back and lighthearted, always smiling, then things changed and Clay knew why. He'd been a heartsick boy once, but he'd manned up and moved on. Juice didn't seem to even want to move on.

"Hey!" He called out as Juice moved from the bay toward the clubhouse.

"I need a drink!" Juice growled and Clay shook his head. The boy was spending too much time at the bar lately, had been since Christmas.

"You need to help with those drums!" He shouted and pointed while Juice nodded sharply and went to them while McKeavey got out of the cab followed by a tall, dark haired young man with a smirk on his lips. Clay recognized him from picture Milla had sent Gemma. No wonder Juice was pissed off, Clay held no illusions about Juice's feelings for his little girl.

"Clay!" McKeavey greeted as he hugged the Redwood President.

"Who's your friend?" Clay said and McKeavey's face turned. He didn't like his companion much, that was obvious.

"This...is Keegan Rafferty. He works for Jimmy, he just wanted to tag along, see the sights..." The other man, Keegan walked over and put out his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet ya sir. Milla's told me a lot about you." Clay's smile turned to a snarl in a heartbeat and the boy looked appropriately nervous, especially when Clay gripped his hand with the express desire to crush it.

"Alright, let's go have a drink. Hammer out the details." Once Clay let go of his hand Keegan smiled and followed behind. The glint in Clay's eye had given Keegan all the information he needed. Clay was fiercely protective of his daughter and he could work with that.

…

Once Juice had finished with the barrels he decided against going in the clubhouse. He'd had enough of the smug Irish bastard who delighted in needling him. If he had to hear one more time about Keegan's girl he'd kill someone...ok he'd kill Keegan. He sat down at Gemma's computer, the ancient thing needed to be put out of its misery, and started organizing the work slips. It was a mindless task, something to keep him from busting into the clubhouse and doing something stupid. Just as he finished logging the first set of work slips the phone rang.

"Teller-Morrow Automotive." He said as he resumed typing. He could hear breathing on the other end but no one spoke yet. "May I help you?"

His brow furrowed and he was going to hang up when a voice he'd been longing to hear for one long horrible month spoke.

"Hi, Juice." Milla said and Juice felt his heart beat faster like it always did when she spoke to him.

"Hi Milla." He was silent, urging her to speak so he could hear her voice again.

"I guess Ma's not there." She said and he could just picture her shy little smile.

"She had a nail appointment. She's gonna be mad she missed the visitor." He kept his voice level but he wanted to growl as he thought about Keegan.

"He made it there safely? Dad and Jax didn't kill him yet?" She asked, her voice striking something deep in his chest.

"Last I saw he was still alive. They're in the clubhouse, I'm in the office." He wanted to keep her talking, needed to keep her talking.

"I'm sorry about Christmas Juice, really, it's your life and I shouldn't have presumed anything. I got mad over something stupid. I shouldn't have stopped talking to you." Juice couldn't see the look on her face but he knew her well enough to guess. She was sad, scared and a little sick. The silly girl thought she lost him.

"We all did stupid things at Christmas." He heard her sigh in relief and smiled. She missed him, that much was obvious.

"Are you...are you still with the croweater?" Juice knew that Milla knew her name but she was like her mother wouldn't give those girls an inch.

"I was never really with her Milla, she was just someone to keep my bed warm at night. I don't know why I paraded her around like that, she had no class." That comment caused Milla to giggle-snort and it was one of the best sounds Juice had ever heard.

"None at all...Want to IM me later, let me know how everything worked out with Keegan? He was nervous about meeting Daddy." Just like that his smile dropped, she wasn't his, she belonged to the bastard in the clubhouse. He moved the phone from his ear, took a deep breath then he answered her.

"I'll email you later, too late for IM. I miss you Milla." He said quietly, putting all of his love and affection for her in those four words.

"I miss you too. I've gotta go, Trinity wants my help unloading a box but I'll talk to you later. Bye Juice." She said quietly before she hung up. With a sigh Juice hung up his end and stared at the computer screen for a few seconds. She didn't hate him, cared about him even. That was such good news, such a relief. Why did his chest still burn?

…

In the clubhouse they were seated at one of the tables Keegan and McKeavey were nursing tall mugs of beer while Clay and the others had their customary bottles. Clay was eying Keegan and Keegan was looking around marveling at how, even across the sea, the clubhouses were nearly the same. They had the same look, the same feel, the same air even. Now he understood why Milla wanted to be in the SAMBEL clubhouse all the time, in it she was home.

"We need a little time and a little incentive for the next shipment." McKeavey said suddenly and Clay slowly turned his eyes from the Irish prettyboy.

"What do you mean by "incentive"?" Clay asked, though he had a very good idea.

"An extra hundred grand. Things are gettin tough, lost four of our brothers to a bomb last month, right around Christmas too." He and Keegan hung their heads for a moment before he continued. "We need to recoup those losses and build some goodwill with our new brothers."

Clay's lip lifted in a smirk. This asshole was serious but just as he was about to bust McKeavey's balls Keegan spoke up.

"Come on brother! A hundred grand? We should be payin' them to take this load off our hands. If anyt'ing we should be givin' them a discount." He looked at Clay and Jax who'd spent the entire meeting glaring at him. "A family discount."

Clay moved his focus to the younger man and eyed him again. He was young, a little too pretty but when you looked in his eyes you saw a cunning that almost overshadowed anything else. The boy was trying to prove something. Clay didn't know what but he was sure his daughter would be involved.

"How big of a discount?" McKeavey asked, his eyes slitted in anger.

"Jimmy says half the next shipment, free. For being so patient." He turned his eyes to Clay and gave a glance to Jax. "For being so loyal

"

…

Once the deal was struck Clay went into the chapel to think things over. He didn't like the sketchy Irish bastard. There was something about him that he just couldn't stomach, but at the same time he'd proven himself useful. Clay didn't know if it was because he loved Milla or just wanted to prove he'd do right by her but the boy had saved them a lot of money. So much money that he could overlook some things. So much money that he could encourage his daughter to keep this relationship going a little longer. As long as Milla kept Jimmy's man happy, he'd help keep the Club in the black.

With a smile Clay tapped the pocket of his cut, where he kept a picture of his girls. He'd spent his life protecting his baby girl, loving her and guiding her. Now she was helping him and as long as she was happy it was an arrangement he could deal with.

…

"Your Da's a right bastard." Keegan said into the phone as he edged toward the office. From the conversation he'd heard Clay having with blondie his target would be in there.

"What did you do? Dad's calm and collected unless you piss him off, so how'd you piss him off?" Milla asked and he smiled, he knew she'd defend her father to the death. His if he said the wrong thing.

"I think he knows I've been in your pants." It wasn't a lie. All throughout the meeting Her da and her brother had been giving him the same look, the "I know you've touched her" look and he'd be lying if he said it didn't unnerve him a little.

"I don't doubt it. Promise me you'll be careful and won't do anything stupid." He smirked, he'd already poked several bears, if that was the expression, but he'd try not to do anything to abuse the goodwill he'd engendered. He was so glad that McKeavey played his part so well, acted so boorish and greedy, it made Keegan look like a saint and that's what Jimmy and Father Ashby wanted.

"I promise you my lovely." He heard movement and saw a shadow near the window. The idiot savant was in there, it was time to poke one more bear. "I can't wait to be home to you. Been too long since I've been balls deep in ya."

It was crude but effective as he heard movement inside the office. It sounded like paper being crumpled and torn.

"Quiet, it's bad enough that they theorize but if you confirm it I can't help you. You don't want in that ring with any of them and if they think they're defending my honor...shit Keegan, I miss you too and I miss...that...but we'll talk about this later, when your balls aren't on the line." He chuckled, she was so cute sometimes.

"Speaking of balls, mine miss you too." He laughed at her exasperated huff.

"If you aren't going to take my warning seriously I'm hanging up. Be safe and I love you." He smiled, hearing her say those words and knowing she was trying to mean them never failed to bring a smile to his lips.

"I love you too my little bird. I'll see you in three days." She hung up before he did and he slipped the phone in his pocket. He had a new mission to complete.

…

Juice sat at the computer and composed himself. He wasn't stupid, despite the fact that everyone said he was. He understood people, well he understood motives, and he understood the basic concepts of interactions. You say or do x and get y in return. It was a standard exchange rate. Because he understood this, he knew why Keegan had planted himself outside the window to talk to Milla, he knew why Keegan was being so crude. Keegan felt threatened and had to assert his status in Milla's life. The thought would have made Juice happy, knowing that despite the problems Milla still cared about him enough that he was a threat but he wasn't happy. Now that it was confirmed at Keegan was screwing her he didn't know how to react since killing him would be bad for business and probably hurt Milla and he never wanted Milla to hurt. With a shake of his head he willed the thoughts away and went back to the computer, looking for some mindless task to complete.

"Hey there boyo. I was wonderin' why you weren't at the meetin." Juice looked up and saw that self-satisfied smirk on the Irishman's face.

"I thought it would be obvious, looks like I'm not the idiot for once." He stared at Keegan in challenge and was rewarded when the other had to look away first.

"Does it bother you that she's with me? That I'm the one tastin' her skin? I'll tell you she's sweet...all of her is sweet." That was it, Juice rose and advanced on him while Keegan stood his ground. "Go ahead, beat me if you want but how do you think that'll look to your President, when you lose this deal. How will it look to Milla?"

He whispered her name, like a taunt, like a dare and Juice backed off. This prick wanted to bait him, wanted him to do something unforgivable and he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't let this Irish bastard goad him into ruining his life. Instead he decided to lay down the law.

"I don't like you, that much is obvious and you obviously don't like me but that doesn't matter. I'm loyal to my Club and you're loyal to your cause. You also know I'm loyal to Milla. You asked if it bothered me that you touch her. Fuck yes it bothers me. My hands are itching to tear you apart right now but I won't do it. I won't do it because I'm a good soldier and a good man and I love one hell of a good woman. She may be with you right now and I'll suffer through that, I'll stand by and do nothing because she doesn't need that shit." He sat down at the desk and looked calmly at Keegan who obviously wasn't expecting this outcome. "I won't do anything now but know this. If you hurt her in any way, if she's less than happy with you I'll cross this country and that ocean and deal with you myself. There's nowhere you can go that I won't find you."

Keegan had to stop himself from swallowing the lump in his throat. This was the idiot, the jester, the fool that everyone spoke of as a simpleton but he wasn't really. This was a man with a purpose and that purpose was protecting the Club and woman he loved and Keegan didn't doubt for a second that he'd track him down and tear him limb from limb. Without turning his back on the bulkier man Keegan backed out the door and walked briskly to the clubhouse while Juice sat back in the chair and allowed himself a grin. He'd won this round and even though she was with Keegan now she'd have to come home eventually and when she did he'd be ready. He'd show her that she was the center of his world and she'd never even utter the name "Keegan" again.

Author's Note: I hope you're all liking the story and I'll warn you that this is where my muse is gonna stay for a while. I love exploring these flawed, greedy, honorless people. I thought I'd let you know that I have a Photobucket album dedicated to Brath. From the moment I wrote Fait Accompli I've had this image of Keegan in my head and if you go to the account you can see him for yourself and also I was just looking up an actress that I love and they linked her to this other actress and when I saw her I gasped because it was like some deity entered my brain and took a snapshot of Milla. That being said you can have a peek at that snapshot yourself. I have a link in my profile so please check it out. I hope seeing the pictures of Milla doesn't ruin your reading of this story. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.