I don't own the song. That belongs to three days grace…but I would like many others…like to own the band…maybe put them in collars …oooo and leashes….yessss…handcuffs perhaps?
It wasn't a long ride. Parking the car Cloud handed me his cash and named off his brands. Jägermeister, vodka and a bottle of Jack. Picking up Clouds order and some of my own favorites along with a case of Labatt blue. It wasnt long before i hoped back into the car, Cloud started stashing the substances in each bag. Cloud smiled at me I noticed… a actual smile. Heading back to the dorm we snuck in unnoticed by the goody two shoes that watched the dorms and made sure no illegal activates happened or should we say the dorm police?. Cloud walked to his bed with his bag as I locked the door and walked over to his bed and sat as well. He gave me a strange look "what I wanted company tonight…since we cant hit a bar your stuck with me man!" Cloud just shrugged and laughed. I decided I liked his laugh. Cloud opened the vodka. I threw my twelve pack in the mini fridge by Clouds bed and opened some jack for myself. Cloud needless to say drank like a fish ..we had a few laughs over it. It wasn't long before Cloud was stumbling to his laptop turning it on pulling the phones out and nearly falling as he did so. Loud metal and rock music filled the room I had to turn the volume down a bit not wanting to disturbed the others in the building or draw unwanted attention to them. I laid back onto the bed against the wall.
It wasnt long before we began shareing stories about our lifes at home, what little we would be willing to tell. I told him about my father figure and mentore Angeal and about Reno my most trusted Friend. Geting into our pasts i told him about my Fathers untimely death, dying a war hero and being raised by a single parent. Cloud told me little of himself, both his parents died infront of him thats all he could reveal. He told me in how he lost his virginity in a allyway, gang raped by four thugs. Something about his parents owing money inreturn for favors. It stabed my heart to hear the boys story.
The boy turned his head to look at me. Cloud threw his head back stumbling a bit towards the bed his eyes set on me and laughed . " sadness doesn't suit you " the boy whispered towards me. The boy decided to crawl his way over to me circling his way from my side to get in front of me. I decided I liked this side of the boy...we was playful and spontaneous. I was surprised when he actually crawled onto my lap, grabbing my hips and straddling me. I didn't know what to do…I could barely think. The boy started to slowly sway his hips barely touching me.
Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
The boy swayed in tune with the music. I hadn't expected this…but I didn't mind it honestly. The boy was breath taking to say the least . His eyes closed and his mouth slightly agap.
You're sick of feeling numb You're not the only one I'll take you by the hand And I'll show you a world that you can understand This life is filled with hurt When happiness doesn't work Trust me and take my hand When the lights go out you will understand
It didn't take long before the blond started to grind against me, his deep blues randomly opening and closing his body flushing and the rotation of his hips.
Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
"Cloudy boy?" I felt wrong…very wrong
"hmm" Cloud hummed into my shoulder I opened my mouth ready to say something..anything but Cloud put his finger to my lips.
Anger and agony Are better than misery Trust me I've got a plan When the lights go off you will understand
"don't stop me now…I need this for just a little while". Cloud threw his arms around my neck, grinding and throwing his head back and forth slowly.
Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing Rather feel pain
I don't know why I let him have his way, nor why I clasped both my hands tightly on the boys hips moving with him. It was hard to hold back the moans, the boy affected me in many ways…never in my life ….
I know (I know I know I know I know) That you're wounded You know (You know you know you know you know) That I'm here to save you You know (You know you know you know you know) I'm always here for you I know (I know I know I know I know) That you'll thank me later
had I been attracted to a man…not that I have anything against it...I didn't mind it…never judged anyone on it…just never felt anything sexual for another guy…I like skirts…I like breasts…and childbearing hips.
Pain, without love Pain, can't get enoughPain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Pain, without love Pain, I can't get enough Pain, I like it rough 'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all Rather feel pain than nothing at all Rather feel pain
A part of me figured Cloud was…well…into guys…it didn't bother me. I just never expected the boy to do this to me. Then again Cloud had a feminine demeanor. At first glance someone could see a girl…
The song stopped…Cloud stopped moving…staring deep into my eyes. Beads of sweat making its way down his face. He put his face into my neck and I felt him lightly lick and nip. Cloud leaned to the side of the bed grabbing his bottle and drinking more vodka. I felt the need to touch him…run my fingers through his hair…maybe run a finger over his full perfect lips. The boy laid back , plugging in his head phones.
I began moving off the bed noticing the full length of need the blond brought out of me. I was in desperate need of a shower.. 'Fuck' is all I could say to myself. I had to think…had to say something.
"Cloudy boy you awake"The boy looked to me again "yeah" All I knew…is I wanted to learn more about the blond. "that day when I walked in on you…two days ago…what where you doing?" Cloud snickered "what did it look like I was doing?" that was annoying a bit… "well I know what I seen…but why?" Cloud replaced the top on his bottle unclasping his glove and looking at the rubber band. "sometimes when sex and alcohol aren't enough….pain is…it makes me feel alive…when I cant feel anything…I can count on feeling pain.." I watched the boy for a moment before taking in what he said and laying down to sleep...I heard him move…he got out his phone and started to text…he got up and left after receiving a message back.