andA/N: I wanted to do a chapter with the backstory showing what exactly happened in the days before he cheated. Fair warning: the way he treats her is brutal. It will take a miracle to get her to forgive him for what he did and how he treated her... As always thanks for reading and please review.
Day two of not being able to hold anything down has me so weak I can barely stand. When I feel better I'll have to remember to kick Donna's ass for coming over with that bug.
"I'm kind of busy right now, what is it?" Jax's annoyance was the first thing I noticed when he answered the phone.
"I was just wondering if you'd give me a ride to the Doctor, it's been two days of this shit and I need some fluids to rehydrate me."
"Can't right now. Have Gemma do it." The phone went dead before I could tell him that Gemma was in Lodi with Luanne and Donna's at work. His attitude lately has been off. I guess he's stressing over club shit since he's going to patch in soon.
I get myself dressed with as much energy as I have left deciding to walk myself to the hospital. It's only two miles-hopefully I don't faint before I get there. If I do I'm sure someone will call an ambulance and get me there. Silver lining.
My legs feel like jello, sweat is pouring off of me, I can't go another step. I have to sit down on the curb and hope this feeling passes soon.
"You okay?" David Hale called out to me pulling his pickup over next to me.
If I had more energy I'd roll my eyes, do I look like I'm okay, "not really." I answer looking up at him.
"You're as a ghost. You look like you're about to fall over. Where are you headed?" He jumped out of the car and ran around to me.
"Hospital." I reply opting to keep my answers short and sweet to hopefully not puke again.
"Here," he took me by my elbow and pulled me up and helped me into his car, "I'll take you there."
"Thanks." I mumble resting my head against the window.
"Where's Jax?" He questions, his tone irritated.
"Busy."
"Too busy to make sure his girlfriend gets to the hospital when she's too sick to stand? Oh yeah he's a standup guy. I completely get what you see in him. Club before old lady…I guess now you get an idea what you're signing up for." He rambled on. David and Jax hated each other. David hated him even more now that I was dating him. David's had a thing for me since middle school. We were really good friends until he kept trying to take things to the next level and I had to stop hanging out with him to keep Jax from killing him.
"Thanks for the lift. I should be okay here." I give him the best smile, which looked more like a frown given my lack of energy.
"I'll hang around here for a bit just call if you need a ride home. If you try to walk home in your condition, I might just have to kick your ass…once you feel better." He gave me his genuine smile.
"'Kay thanks." I wave.
Luckily it didn't take too long for them to take me back to a room. After forcing me to do a pregnancy test even though I insisted we used condoms every single time, they finally put an IV in due to severe dehydration. The doctor said I'd need at least two bags of fluid before he'd let me go home.
"Well Ms. Knowles, we've found the reason for all of the vomiting." He comes back into the room with a smile.
"Stomach bug that's going to go away in 24 hours?"
"Stomach bug that's going to get better in 9 months. Congratulations. You're having a baby."
I heard the gasp that escaped my lips and I'm fairly certain my jaw hit the floor. "I've always used protection?" The statement came out more as a question.
"Abstinence is the only form of birth control that is 100 percent effective. Did you forget to use one or did one break?" He questioned.
"No." The weekend of Opie's birthday party flashed in my mind. In all honesty we were shitfaced that weekend, it's highly plausible that he didn't put one on.
"You wouldn't be the first person to come in here pregnant after using a condom. As I said abstinence is the only effective way to not get pregnant. You can make an appointment with Dr. Sanders, she's the best OBGYN in California. She normally starts taking patients at twelve weeks. When was your last menstrual period so I can calculate your due date?"
"Last month, I think? I don't even remember. I never thought I needed to keep up with it." I held my head.
"Okay. Well, call Dr. Sanders' office and make an appointment. She may bring you in for a sonogram since you don't remember your menstrual cycle. Here's a card with her number on it. It was nice to meet you, Ms. Knowles and congratulations again." He left the room whistling the tune to the Andy Griffith Show.
The fluids had me feeling so much better but this news had me ready to vomit again. Pregnant.
Scared and nervous is what I'm feeling the most but also a little happy. Jax and I are going to be parents. We're bringing a life into this world. A perfect mixture of him and me. The image of a little blonde haired, blue eyed boy played in my mind with my compassion and love for learning. Excitement was building. I can't wait to tell him.
David's still sitting in the waiting room when I come out. "Hey. You didn't have to stay." I grin.
"You're looking better." His smile matched mine. "What did they say was wrong?"
"Stomach bug." I lie, deciding that telling David Hale first about our good news probably wouldn't sit to well with Jax or Gemma for that matter.
He nods, "that's what I figured. It's rough. It just hit our house last week."
"Yep. The worst." I keep a straight face trying to hide my giddiness.
…..MakeYouMissMe…
"You still with the ball and chain?" Kozik joked. "You know you're going to be married with kids before you ever even see a gun fight." He laughed til beer shot out his nose.
"Fuck that, I'm not getting married right now. I sure as fuck ain't having a kid." These guys have been busting my balls about Tara for weeks now.
"Leave the boy alone," Tig chimes in, "if he wants to be pussy whipped in the prime of his life, who are we to judge? He loves her, he wants to stick with what he knows instead of letting a more experienced woman give him the ride of his life."
"Shit, I feel sorry for him." Kozik chuckled, "I mean Tara's hot and all but have you seen some of these girls? They could be porn stars."
"He wants to be in the life without living the life." Kyle shook his head. "Shit I try to eat a different pussy every night."
"Fuck you guys." I growl slamming my fist onto the table.
"We're just playing Jax." Kozik slapped me on the back, "if you're happy being tied down do your thing man. It's just not for most members."
"Yeah brotha, if you're sure you can keep her and not fuck around you're all set. She's a good girl but it's going to take some major will power though when we're on a run for weeks at a time and some of those tight bodied girls start rubbing their shit against your cock." Kyle added.
"You better get real friendly with your hands bro." Happy jerked his hands like he was stroking a cock.
The guys all joined him laughing.
"You need to make sure she's old lady material before you give her the crow, wait and see how she does when you're on a run for long periods of time. You don't want someone who resents the club being your old lady. It's bad for business bro." Bobby spoke up, "I thought I found the one at a young age too, I loved her. She couldn't deal with the life and bailed-leaving me owing $600 a month in child support. I like Tara, she's a good girl but make sure she's on the same page as you or it will fuck you in the long run."
"Aight." They all made valid points especially Bobby. Tara does get irritated when I've been dealing with club shit all day. She was mad as hell when I couldn't take that trip with her to Vegas after graduation.
I had a lot of shit to sort through. As far as women went I didn't want anyone but her, I couldn't deny that some of those women had my cock throbbing when they'd rub their fingers against down my chest or back their ass into my cock and pretend it was an accident.
…MakeYouMissMe…
It's almost midnight when Jax finally climbs through my window. "Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for hours."
"I told you I had club shit to do." He snapped, startling me. "What was so damn important you called me fifty times?"
His attitude has me rethinking giving him the news right now, I don't know what happened today but clearly it pissed him off. I hate when he takes his stress out on me though, "I just wanted to talk to you and I didn't call you fifty times."
"Bullshit. It seemed like every few minutes the phone would beep saying I had a missed call, I had to turn the damn thing on silent." He rolled his eyes, opening his phone.
My good mood was out the window, his attitude had me beyond angry, "Well I'm glad it wasn't important like I was dying because you would have been too busy with the club to care." I huff, "oh and by the way I only called you three times, every couple of hours, you somehow turned your phone on missed call reminder."
"Did you turn that on so it would annoy the fuck out of me so I'd stop what I was doing and call you right then?"
"Seriously," I hiss, "do you have any more accusations to throw at me while you're at it?"
"Sorry." He muttered. "It's been a shitty day."
"Yeah, well it hasn't been too grand for me either. I'm sick, I had to walk to the hospital because your mother was in Lodi, Donna was at work, and you were too consumed with whatever you were doing to care." I paused deciding I better tell the whole truth, he'd hear it from somewhere, "well I walked a little bit of the ways and David picked me up and brought me home."
He was pissed again. "I told you to stay away from him." He growled. "You never listen."
"Well I'm sorry but I was almost passed out on the side of the fucking road when he stopped, I wasn't going to deny the ride. I tried to call you first remember, but you said call someone else."
"The club comes first babe and as much as you hate it, that's how it is." He struggles to keep his voice under control.
"I see that. Is that how it's going to be when the baby is born?" I blurt out, instantly wishing I could reel it back in.
"What baby?" He asked wide eyed.
I drop my head, already seeing how this is going to go. "I'm pregnant."
"What?" He stands up, pacing the floor and starts muttering. "I can't believe it. The guys were right. How the fuck was I so blind? They were right about everything."
He punches my bedroom wall and I flinch automatically jumping back. Tears form in my eyes, this was not the reaction I was hoping for. "What's wrong with you? What are you talking about they were right? Right about what?"
"You planned this." He groaned.
"Planned what? A baby? Newsflash, I didn't even know I wanted a kid until they told me I was going to have one and if it was anyone else's baby I probably wouldn't want it."
"I'm just a few days away from patching into the club. I don't have time for a baby. Is that why you did this? To keep me from patching in? To make sure I stayed with you?"
The words felt like a slap in the face, I couldn't stop the tears as they fell. "I'm not the one who forgot to put the fucking condom on, now am I? Do NOT put this on me. You think I planned this to trap you? To keep you from living your dream? The same dream that I've been standing behind you, supporting you for the past two years. If I didn't want to be apart of this damn club, I wouldn't still be here asshole. I am still here but if you don't want me to be FINE then say the word. I want us to be together but I won't stand by and let you treat me like shit anymore. So figure out what you want because I still feel like shit and this back and forth with you isn't helping."
He watched me carefully and stepped forward pulling me into a hug, "I'm sorry. Let's just get some sleep okay?" He kissed my forehead, my cheek, my neck pulling my clothes off as he went down.
The sex was nice but it felt different. Too different. It had my mind reeling.
…..MakeYouMissMe…..
I wake up and stretch my arms out patting the bed looking for his body, opening my eyes to see he's not there. The house is empty except for my dad's snoring that sounds like a chainsaw.
My stomach is doing more flips. The uneasiness magnified. I decide to shower and get dressed for my appointment with the OB the hospital referred me to. She wanted me to come in as soon as possible to see how far along I am. I'll try to call him later. Given his mood last night I don't want to bother him if he's in the middle of more club shit.
'He's not even patched in yet and he's always gone.' I sigh. I can't let him see my discontent with the club and give him even more of a reason to throw a tantrum.
"Hmm..." Dr. Sanders and the Sonogram technician stared at the screen. She moved the vaginal wand all around pushing hard to get it where she needs it.
"Is something wrong?" I ask nervously. They continued staring at the screen.
"Everything's fine," Dr. Sanders' patted my leg, "excuse me, I'll be right back." She left the room and the technician removed the wand and let me get dressed.
I sat in the chair anxiously awaiting the news. I'm not a doctor but I can tell something wasn't right by the way they acted. After about twenty minutes, she made her way back into the room. "I'm very sorry for your wait Ms. Knowles, I needed to get in touch with Saint Thomas about your results."
"Why? Is something wrong?" I questioned.
"Not exactly. They've been trying to reach you. It turns out there was a mix up at the hospital."
"What do you mean a mix up?" I interrupt, my eyes squinted in confusion.
"They mixed up your results with someone else's, it turns out you're not really pregnant after all."
"That can't be right. What about all of the vomiting?"
"I assure you it's right, there's no baby in your uterus. We even checked your fallopian tube to make sure you weren't having an ectopic pregnancy. It's clear. It was just a mix up. The vomiting was most likely from that nasty stomach flu that's hit everyone."
My face fell. Not pregnant. I should be thrilled, I'm not ready for a baby and Jax made it clear he wasn't ready for a baby but the idea of a little him and me running around was appealing. I grew attached to the little thing in my belly. "Okay…" I wipe my eyes quickly hoping she didn't see the teardrop, "thank you ma'am."
I decide to head to the clubhouse to tell Jax the news. I knew he would be thrilled it was just a mix up. The random stares I got had me feeling self-conscious. Usually Kozi was laughing and joking with me, now he just looked alarmed. "He's not here." He stated after a few seconds.
"His bike's here." I reply with narrowed eyes.
"He's with Op in the tow truck." He shot back.
"Okay well I'll just wait on him in the room." I continue walking toward the room.
"Tara wait." He calls out but by then I heard the moans coming from Jax's room. I squeeze my eyes shut and pray that he forgot to lock the door and one of the guys was too drunk to realize it wasn't their room.
Of course I wouldn't be that lucky. I was frozen in place watching him slam his cock into the bleach blond croweater from behind and her moans get louder. They didn't stop once they saw me, he flips her over so she's on top, both of them watching me. She's bouncing on his dick with everything she's got and he's smirking at me. The vomit rises in my throat but I swallow it. I want to run from the room but I'm frozen in place. I can't get my damn feet to move. "Fuck me baby. Fuck me." He moans out licking his lips looking up at her, picking her hips up and slamming her down onto him harder. His words were slurred, he was drunk off his ass before noon. I guess he needed a little liquid courage to break my heart.
I yanked her off of him and pounded my fist into her face before I even realized I had moved from my frozen position.
"Stop it." He shouted, pulling me off of her. "What the hell is your problem?"
I slap him as hard as I can. "Nothing." I growl and shove him off of me. "Oh and by the way, the doctor told me today it was a hospital mix up…I'm NOT pregnant. So congratulations. You're free. Free from me, free to do this or what or whomever the fuck you want to do."
I race out of the room, turn off my cell phone, pack a few bags and head to the nearest hotel…thankful to David for giving me a ride…and promising not to tell a soul where I was.
After two days of hiding I decide I needed a fresh start somewhere else…somewhere that didn't have Jax Teller. I can't leave without telling Donna goodbye. It would break her heart and mine has been broken enough for the both of us.
"Meet me at the bus station at two pm." I text. "Come alone." I quickly add the second part. I wouldn't tell her or anyone else about the pregnancy mix-up. If Jax wanted them to know what a jerk he was about it, he could tell them.
My tickets bought, I'm ready to go. I don't know exactly where I'm going but Chicago will be a good starting point. I look up and see Donna racing into the station with a determined expression. She's a woman on a mission and I have a feeling that mission is to get me to stay.