Note – I don't know who this update is for, but it is NOT for that slut Amber. She's a slut. In case any of you were keeping track.

Merry Fucking Christmas | 03

"Us?" Elizabeth squeaked, seeing Nadine in the corner of her eye as the blonde tried to inch away.

"Yes, you," Johnny replied impatiently. "Get over here. Both of you. No use trying to hide behind Beardie over there, Princess."

Nadine scowled and poked her head out from behind a tall, bearded gentleman. "I wasn't hiding."

"Yes, you were."

"I wouldn't give you the satisfaction."

Johnny grinned at that. "And what do you think you know about my satisfaction?" His grin only widened when her cheeks turned a dull red. "Exactly."

"We don't have a lot of time," Jason broke in. Leave it to Johnny to flirt with anything in a skirt while they were on a mission. "You two, get over here."

"We probably won't be much help," the blonde that Johnny had taken a liking to piped up. "We just got here…yesterday. It's our first time at this hotel. In fact, I don't even know where the bathroom is. It's been an, um, uncomfortable evening."

"Nice try," Jason replied blandly, arching a brow at them to hurry up and quit stalling. "But we've been watching you since we got here – you're definitely from here, so there's no use trying to waste our time pretending you're not."

The two exchanged curious looks and Jason realized a little too late that he'd admitted that they'd caught his eye – and Johnny's too – shortly after they arrived. Even Johnny was looking at him with a rather amused look, and Jason didn't like that feeling.

"You, too." He gestured to a young brunette in gold, who was standing by an older woman with dark hair. "Ethan, see what they can tell you about who's been in the area in the past couple days, specifically the hotel.

"You take the blonde, I'll take the brunette," he said to his friend.

Johnny shrugged, looking far from displeased about this turn of events. "Fine by me."

"I have a name, you know," Nadine scowled instinctively before remembering her circumstances. "Uh…never mind."

"Of course, you do, how insensitive of us," Johnny smiled, making Jason roll his eyes. That fucker was so transparent when it came to pretty girls. "We didn't even get through the proper introductions. I'm Johnny. You are?"

She was regarding him suspiciously but took his outstretched hand because there really didn't seem to be much choice in the matter. "…Nadine."

Jason looked down at the petite brunette in front of him, who'd started nervously chewing on her lip. "Jason."

A moment of silence so long it was almost laughable, and then, "…Elizabeth."

"Excellent," Johnny beamed. "Now that we've got that taken care of, ladies, perhaps you wouldn't mind showing us around."

"I'll take the lobby desk and you take the bathrooms?" Jason asked. Johnny nodded. "Great."

His friend turned to Nadine. "I need you to show me all the restrooms on this floor, including the ones that might be in the employees' area."

Nadine gritted her teeth and, braving one last glance at her best friend, slowly led him away.

"All right, let's go." Without waiting for a response, Jason moved toward the back of the long lobby. The people parted immediately as he strode near, and he barely paid them any mind. People always seemed to do that when he walked through a crowd; it was probably his intimidating size.

Elizabeth was following, but far too slowly for his liking. "Hurry up," he snapped over his shoulder. "I can't be here all night."

"What do you even need me to do?" When he slipped behind the desk, she arched a brow sardonically at him, and he smirked a little at the thought that the kitten had claws. "You hardly need my help finding the desk, since you're already behind it."

"Just get over here," he suggested blandly, waiting until she acquiesced. "Hold this."

He handed her the Uzi he held but, before he noticed her shocked expression, thought better of it and pulled it back. "Nah, never mind."

With that, he strapped it to his side and pulled a retractable flashlight out of his utility belt. He left it on the counter, barely hearing the rest of the guests tittering at what had just happened.

The register-like appliance – really, it was designed to look like an old fashioned cash register – was bolted to the counter, so he didn't waste his time. Besides, if it held anything, even a clue, that would already have been discovered by the several employees that used it on a daily basis.

He scanned the countertop with his fingertips, feeling for any loose panel or compartment or sliding top, but found nothing. It was all airtight.

"What?" Elizabeth asked, and he realized that he'd actually chuckled out loud.

"Nothing," he smirked, going over the counter one last time. "I almost accidentally hit the emergency button. That would have sucked ass."

"You almost hit the emergency button?!" she half-shrieked, and it startled him so much that Jason almost dropped the flashlight.

"Yes," he hissed. "Jesus! What are you flipping out for? I said, almost. Christ, woman."

She started to laugh, but it was that weird, strung-out kind of laughter, and Jason frowned sternly at her before resuming his inspection. Maybe he'd been wrong about this one – maybe she had as much inner-crazy as her friend.

…Maybe he should have picked the blonde.

But it was too late for that now, so Jason continued exploring the desk, all the while grumbling under his breath about hysterical women.

"This is why I hate Port Charles," he groused. "All you goddamn townies with your…Hey!"

Her hand had moved to near where he was, and his first thought was that she was trying to cover up something she'd just noticed that might have helped him in his search. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she said quickly – far too quickly.

He looked where she'd put her hand and saw nothing by there except the Police Call button. "Ugh, whatever. Just do me a favor and stop touching things."

Women. Always touching things.

Elizabeth was silent for a while as he searched the entire registration desk from top to bottom, finding nothing.

"…You said you hated Port Charles."

"I do hate Port Charles," Jason grumbled, shoving the boxes of receipts back in frustration. Nothing.

"…You make it sound like you've been here before," she said softly, and he answered mainly because he was glad she wasn't cackling in that crackhead way of hers that put him on edge.

"I have," Jason replied lightly. "A long, long time ago."

"And you've never been back?"

"Nope," he answered. "Until tonight."

"Right," she said slowly, sounding glum. "Until tonight."

"Take this." He shoved the flashlight in her hand after a long silence. "Point it for me. Right there. I think I see something…"

Elizabeth did as she was told, not seeing how Carly rose from her seat as if to stop them before Jax grabbed her hand. "Is that…?"

"That's fine," he said, feeling around for the snag he knew he'd felt earlier. If he was lucky, it was a secret compartment, right on the top shelf, just underneath the register. "Come on, come on…"

It gave way and he let out a whoop, scrambling to pull it loose. It was a narrow compartment tucked away behind a false wall, and he lifted it and set it on the counter. The rest of the partygoers were still staring at him, and he found that annoying.

"Listen, you people can go back to whatever it is you were doing," he said as his men continued to mill around the lobby. "We'll be out of here soon anyway."

But he shouldn't have spoken so fast. When he opened the little box, Jason didn't find what he'd been looking for and instead found a few folded up papers and some pictures.

"Aw, what the fuck…?" He scowled and opened up the first note. If it wasn't a clue to where the Rosebud was, this had been a total waste. He scanned the letter quickly, frowning, then looked up.

"Which one of you is Sonny? Sonny Corinthos?"

A dark haired man grunted, and Jason rolled his eyes. "Listen, you stupid fuck, if you're going to write a woman sexually explicit messages, do it through text. Or email. Something that doesn't leave an embarrassing paper trail, because women save that shit. Join the twenty-first century already."

He tossed the letters back in the box and held up the photographs. He'd seen the top one but didn't feel the need to flip through them with Elizabeth standing by his shoulder and sweetly peering into the box with him. He had to admit, he liked her curiosity.

"And Carly?" He waved the pictures at her. "At your age, you should know better than to take nude pictures. They always get out, anyway."

He tossed them to her and Carly scrambled to catch them as Jax looked on in shock and dismay. "You know, I should be surprised, but I'm not. You cheated on your first husband with your second, you probably cheated on your second one with this poor idiot, and you're cheating on him with pint-size Marlon Brando over there."

Shaking his head, he replaced the box with the letters and took the flashlight from Elizabeth. She was staring at him in open-mouthed surprise, her lips forming a perfect "o," and he shrugged down at her.

"Well, I hope Johnny's having better luck than we did."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"You ever had sex in a bathroom?"

Nadine rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to dry-heave. "Oh, God."

"Frankly, I find the idea appalling," Johnny continued, and his aversion surprised her. He noticed her gawking at him and frowned. "What?"

Nadine tried to say something but couldn't, and so just opened and shut her mouth stupidly.

"Don't tell me you're fond of the idea."

"What? No!" she squawked. "I just – you said – I thought you were-"

He looked confused at first and then broke out in a wide grin. "You thought I was propositioning you? To have sex in a bathroom?"

He laughed when she shrugged, and Nadine bristled at the insult. "I'm flattered, sweetheart. And impressed."

"Impressed by what?" she couldn't resist asking.

"The obviously high esteem in which you hold yourself," Johnny replied flippantly as he searched the tanks. "Let me guess, you're one of those chicks that guys chase after all the time. All the fucking time. And when you're confronted with one that doesn't want to get into your pants, it blows your mind because, damn it, they should all want to get into your pants."

He was saying all this completely out of his ass, just to shock and offend her and get a rise out of her. She really was cute when she was irritated. But when he looked at her, Johnny found Nadine looking at him with wide-eyed curiosity.

"…You don't want to get into my pants?"

She asked the shockingly provocative question so sweetly that he couldn't help but smile. "Well, sure I do," he winked, "but you're not supposed to know that."

Nadine rolled her eyes, her lips settling into a peevish line, but he saw her smirking. "Can we get out of here now?"

"Almost."

He picked a corner and walked slowly around the perimeter of the bathroom, knocking on the wall with two knuckles and listening carefully to the echo.

"Really?"

Johnny arched a brow at her. "Yes, really. The Brothers warned us that extreme measures had been taken to hide the Rosebud, and we should leave no leaf unturned."

"What the hell's a Rosebud?" she demanded, throwing her hands up in the air. "And who are these Brothers? Seriously!"

"You don't need to know," Johnny replied dismissively. "In fact, I've already said too much."

Nadine gritted her teeth but stayed silent as he finished his scan of the bathroom walls. "Nothing, huh?'

"Airtight," he sighed, heading over to the sink. "Give me a minute and you can show me where the file room is."

"Oh, goodie," she muttered, washing as he rolled up his sleeves, rinsed, and began to lather his hands up several inches past the wrist with soap. He washed it all off only to do it again, and she couldn't hold back her curiosity. "Is that really necessary?'

"I touched toilets," he replied witheringly, glaring at her over his shoulder. "In a public restroom. Do you have any idea how unsanitary public restrooms are? And we're in the women's room – those are, on average, three times as dirty as a comparable men's room."

"What do you want from us? We have to sit while we tinkle."

"An egregious design flaw, to be sure," he said, drying off quickly, "but no excuse. All right, let's go."

She reached for the door and Johnny followed her out, still grimacing. "I still can't believe people actually willingly have sex in one of these things."

"For a criminal, your sensibilities are surprisingly delicate."

He grinned and looped an arm around her waist, making her squawk and wrench herself away. "Darling, there ain't nothing delicate about my sensibilities, and don't you forget that."