The song for this chapter is Shawn Mendes - Mercy (the song I wanted to use was too mushy for this early on so don't judge me yall lol)

MURPHY'S POV:

It had been a few hours since I sentenced Raven a captive.

All we had done was lock her in her room with guards outside the door and window for her protection. Really, it held a strain of kidnapping but I wasn't doing this because of my personal feelings for her. This was business.

"Let me go check on her," Clarke held a plate of food. "Maybe I can calm her down."

Bellamy perched on the corner of the desk, he gave his head a shake. "No," He looked at her. "She may use her connection to you to get you to let her go."

That was the wrong thing to say because her a single blond eyebrow arched up in scorn. "I wasn't asking," She headed for the door.

He looked at me.

I was closest to the door so I stepped in her way.

Annoyance rolled off of her. "Move out of my way, Murphy." When I didn't she asked, "Do you want her to have more reasons to run or stay?"

My wooden stance faltered. Damn Clarke for knowing I cared. Honestly, it wasn't a secret. Nonetheless, I stepped aside so she could get to Raven.

"Really?" He sighed.

"Like you wouldn't have done the same," I admonished.

Octavia pushed open the door, her hand still on the knob. "We've got a problem out there,"

"Deal with it, O. We got to finish discussing this."

She gave an exasperated sigh. She closed door like she was leaving but she left enough space for it to be the two of us in a moment. "You okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I gave her a look of confidence. "You better go take care of that."

She grinned, then went to go handle business.

When I turned around Bellamy stared at me hard.

As unnerving as it was, I pushed it aside so we could continue and finally get some sleep tonight. The longer we talked, or he talked, the more my mind drifted toward Raven and how she was doing. I wanted nothing more than to go check on her but it wouldn't be wise.

Still, I was a sadist so when we wrapped things up I tipped toward her room.

Kane moved aside. "She's quiet, I think she's sleeping."

I entered her room.

She wasn't asleep. She'd set up shop by the window, probably thinking up ways to run away.

"I said I wanted to be left alone, Clarke." Her voice sounded tear-filled.

"Sorry to disappoint." I stopped in the middle of the room.

She stilled in her chair. "Get out,"

My head shook even though she probably couldn't see it. I slid my hands in my pockets. "I know you don't want to see me but I wanted to see you."

"Well, I don't want to see you." Her head hung.

I could hear her little cries and it broke my heart. "Raven," I inched forward. "I'm not trying to hurt you." When I got closer I realized she'd probably been able to see me in the window reflection.

She snapped around in her chair and stood. "I said leave!" Her brown eyes were bloodshot red and puffy from crying so much.

I'd done that to her, there was no going back.

"No," I stood my ground. "I'm not leaving." My eyes searched hers. "I'm not leaving you, Raven."

The look of hopeless that washed over her broke my heart. That is until she reeled her fist back and clocked me in the jaw.

Alright, maybe I was going to leave.

"I said get out, asshole!" She yelled.

My feet backed away while I raised my hands. "Fine," I wanted her to see that I cared but perhaps tonight wasn't the shining example of that.

Kane looked at me when I exited and laughed. "I can tell she really likes you."

"Shut up, Kane." I walked off.

Nearly a week passed. I handled of all that came out way. The police, a few men of Eligius, anyone that looked suspicious. Even if Raven didn't see it yet we were now family. And family didn't let you drown. Even if was draining.

Well, she didn't see it and the only people that could come close to her were Clarke, Octavia, and surprisingly Bellamy. The last one really pissed me off. Why was he suddenly someone she could relate to and not me?

She looked over her shoulder as if she could feel my presence.

With a wave of a hand the library grew empty sans the two of us. I stayed by the door and watched her from across the room.

She slid a book back into place. "Am I free to leave yet?"

"Tonight's movie night. You wouldn't want to miss that." My joke fell flat.

She picked another book to inspect.

It wasn't one of those conversations I could see, so I got straight to the point. "Would you prefer to run forever looking over your shoulder?" I treaded forward. "We can protect you. I can protect you."

The book in her hand flew across the room. "I didn't ask for that!" She faced me. "I don't need you to make me your charity case."

I stared in confusion. "You think this about charity? I killed someone for you, Raven."

"Don't put that on me." She pointed to her chest. "I didn't make you pull the trigger."

A breath of righteousness left me. "You're right, I was the one that killed him." I agreed as I walked toward her. "But that doesn't change the fact that he's dead and was looking for you. Who knows how many people he asked to find you." I finally stood in front of her.

There had been a few that stopped by that we lead away. Nothing too serious but any one of them would have turned sour.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Then this is the worst place for me to be if the police come looking for me!"

"The only pigs we have to worry about are the ones we don't have in our pockets." I didn't tell her that they wouldn't care about a low life Biker as much as she thought. She needed to be more afraid of them than us. "You're a liability for us." I hated to say it like that but it was true.

Her cold eyes stared into mine. "If I'm such a liability then why don't you shot off a round in me too?"

I let my anger diminish before I answered. "I'm doing this for you."

"You're not doing this for me, Murphy." She threatened. "You want to keep me here for you!"

The accusation wasn't far off but that was the last thing on my mind right now.

My head shook. "When I asked you to stay before I meant it. But get over yourself for a moment if you think that's why I'm doing this,"

She looked over my face, an array of emotions played across hers. "You're not worried about getting in trouble for this?"

"I told you, less trouble with bigger consequences."

She put a bit of distance between us.

I licked my lips. "Believe me when I say I'm not happy about any of this but it's for the best."

Something I said must've gotten through to her because she was considerably less angry when she spoke again. "So what? I'm supposed to live like one of you until things blow over? Go about my day like this is normal?"Her hand gestured between us. She moved toward me. "I'm not down for this,"

She was giving my whiplash.

"You seemed down last night." I saw that my words hit her like a slap so I stepped toward the middle of the room for a breather. "Look, what we started isn't something that I want to force you to start back up. That's the not the guy I am."

She huffed. "I know!" Her hands raised in the air. "You're like a badass Prince Charming wrapped in leather or some shit." She turned her back on me. "But I can't..."

My forehead creased. "Can't what?" My legs moved forward in cautious curiosity. I felt like a predator about to pounce on its prey but I wasn't trying to spook her. Hell, I was spooked with this constant back and forth.

Her back stiffened at my presence behind her. "I don't want to hurt you." Her voice sounded shockingly small.

The girl that punched me didn't want me to get hurt? That made perfect sense.

"Why are you worried about hurting me?" I couldn't keep trace of irritation out of my voice.

She turned around in frustration. "Why do you think, Murphy?"

My eyes gazed into hers. "You're exhaustingly hard to read, you know that."

"Tell me about it," She said dismissively like I was somehow hard to gauge when I'd been the one to put the cards down.

We stood there for a few moments trying to figure out our next play. When it became clear that it wouldn't be clear I left her to her books.

"Hey," I said before I shut the door.

She glanced my way.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

She seemed to appreciate that but I knew it would only get me so far.

My day had been like the last few, kinda shitty. The only thing that got me through the day was knowing that Bellamy and I were going to hang out like we did every week on Tuesday nights.

I finished up with one of my regular clients so I could go be with Bellamy.

She was very blond and very into me. "You gonna give me an answer yet?"

I wiped off the residual ink from her leg. My eyes looked up at her. "You know I don't mess around with Clients, Harper."

She pouted as she stood. "What if I'm not a client anymore?" She arched her back so her chest was on display. She didn't need to do all that, she was a beautiful woman, but I could tell she needed the validation and I didn't want to be to get mixed up in that.

"You're always going to be a client," I played it off with a flirty smile. "Come on," I waited for her to gather her things and walked her out.

Bellamy walked over to our table when I turned around with a sigh. "When are you going to hit that, man?"

I grabbed a fry. "Not my style. Too needy."

"You don't have to marry her to fuck her, Murphy." He offered a grin. "But I can see you're saving yourself for Raven."

My boot kicked his under the table. "Knock it off." My face turned hot a bit.

He chuckled. "It's not like you don't have an in with her. Whatever it was we walked into, it didn't smell like pussy for nothing."

My mouth fell open. "You are so crude."

"I know," He made a face as he sipped his beer. "Clarke keeps getting on me about it."

A customer entered with two women, they headed straight for the bar.

It was Bellamy's idea to make profit out of Clubhouse, use the bar, restaurant, and tattoo parlor for income to "stay clean". So far it worked for us. I kept wondering if we'd get a narc one day that bust our whole operation.

"How's that going for you?" I asked.

"What, Clarke?" He raised a brow. "She's a pain in my ass but I love her." He leaned forward. "Between you and me, we're trying."

"For a kid?" I asked loudly by mistake.

He shushed me. "I don't want the whole Club to know. We haven't exactly been successful."

It kind of made more sense now why he was always ditching me for Clarke. He was wanting to start a family with her. I could get that. They'd been together for a few years now so it wasn't anything out of the ordinary. So why did I feel like there was a hole in my chest?

Soon enough Clarke came to sweep him away for move night.

"You coming?" He asked.

My head shook. "I'll catch up later, wanted to get some drawing in."

"I'll tell Raven to save you a seat," He joked.

"Bite me," I said as they walked off. I finished my food then grabbed my sketchpad to work on some art.

Indra took over for Emori at the bar. She nodded a hello my way.

I nodded back. My attentioned turned back on my drawings. Most of the time I didn't know exactly what I was drawing until it was done. Today was no exception. So colored me unimpressed when my pencil pulled away from the paper to reveal a raven circling a cockroach in the desert. Admittedly, it was funny. So I kept it.

By the time I got up to the theater, the movie was halfway over. I wasn't in the mood for the cheesy comedy anyway, I kind of just wanted to wallow. I looked through the crowd from the doorway. Most of everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, even Raven who sat between Octavia and Echo.

She tore her eyes away from the wall-sized screen to look at me. All laughter faded from her face at the sight of me.

I took it as a sign that whatever we had going had evaporated between us. That was my queue to go back to my room and smoke some weed.

It was just like life that it dangled something good in front of me only to take it away. What had she said about not deserving good things?

My memory foam bed sunk under my weight while I prepared my joint. I was about to take a puff when there was a knock on my door. I sighed but got up to answer it.

Raven stood on the other side, her eyes widened when I opened the door abruptly.

She was the last person I expected to see so I sort of just stared at her.

"Hey," She nodded toward my bedroom.

I opened the door and stepped out of the way for her to enter. What was she doing here?

She awkwardly looked around before she placed herself on my bed. She looked up at me with expectant eyes for me to sit.

So I sat with the intention of letting her do the talking.

"I know you think you're making me face my fears by keeping me here. It's sweet in a creepy way."

My eyes darted to hers. "That's literally not-" I cut myself off when I realized that she was shitting me. I offered a speculative grin. "You're not mad anymore?"

"No, I'm still mad," She sighed. "People kept telling me you weren't so bad and that I should ease up because you're looking out for me because you care."

That was I'd been saying the past few days but I'd take what I could get.

I faced forward, part of me was afraid to look at her. "If I didn't I wouldn't have had any problems with you walking out of that door." I lit the joint ablaze.

She laid back halfway on his bed with a heavy sigh. "I hate it when you say stuff like that."

I laid back with her, the blunt still in my mouth. "Like what?"

"Things that make me like you,"

"Oh, you mean nice things?" I teased.

She took it from my lips. "Sometimes you never stop talking,"

A laugh rumbled through my chest. "That's a first I've ever gotten from a girl,"

She grins in self-satisfaction, then it faded at the memory of something.

"Thought we were sharing," I primed for a response.

She hesitated. Her eyes looked at me briefly then she asked, "Bellamy doesn't know about you and Octavia, does he?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're hooking up, right?"

I let out a sigh. "So are you going to blackmail me into letting you go or you'll tell Bellamy?"

She passed the joint back. "I hadn't thought of that, but no. He'd kill you. And there wouldn't be much point in being here without you."

I stared at her. At first, I fought my grin but I let it win out. "You like me, it's okay to admit."

Her grin turned into a laugh. "Never."

We laid there in a bubble of contentment.

She brought her arm open faced against my chest with her tattoo exposed. "I almost want another one."

Did that mean she also wanted to continue what happened afterward? Why was I nervous about it? If she wasn't then I was okay with that also.

"You're not getting one until you ask," I was aware of the slight sexual undertone of my words and my eyes went to hers.

"Fair, I suppose." She gave back the joint. "How about a game of pool?" She sat up.

She really wanted to hang out with me? Even though she was still upset I could see she was trying for me.

She racked them up and started off the game, her cue hit the ball while her eyes laid on me. The ball went into the pocket with procession. She grinned at my shock, which wasn't because she could play pool. It was 2018, women could obviously play pool, better than I. I just hadn't known she could've been a professional player.

The game was lighthearted as was our chatter. We talked about the little things in life, the things you told people when you got to know them. Our laughter filled the air and fell around us like a protective forte from our real-life problems while she sat on the edge of the pool table. I leaned on my pool cue while I told her about some of the greatest hits of my childhood with Bellamy and Octavia. At some point, Indra brought us over two beers. We clinked them in celebration or rather my demise as best pool player in this joint. She teased me in good fun. I couldn't help the megawatt smile I had on my face. After the shitty week we'd had it felt really nice to have this moment. And as cheesy as it probably sounded, I wanted it to go on forever.

When I sat next to her I could swear she scooted over a tiny bit to be near me.

She stole my beer because she liked to take my things and I liked to let her. She told me about how she wanted to try her hand at being a mechanic. One of her last foster parents taught her how to fix up cars and bikes.

I wanted to ask her to fix up my dad's old car that sat in storage but I didn't know if I quite trusted her enough to not run. Once things did quiet down she would be free to go. There wouldn't be a reason for her to stay.

The entrance of a customer chimed. A bad feeling settled into my gut.

I threw a look over at the stranger that settled into the bar.

"Something wrong?"

Whatever he said had Indra pouring him a Bulleit Bourbon.

My heart slowed at the messenger.

Raven touched my arm.

I jumped when I turned back to her.

"Hey, you okay?" Her eyes scanned mine.

"Yeah," I tried to convince myself. "Yeah, I'm good." I offered a grin that I'm sure she could tell didn't quite reach my eyes.

But somehow she knew how to get my mind off of it.

She stood. "Come on, another round. Loser buys desert."

"I like the sound of that."

She let me break this time. "Just so you know, I like anything chocolate."

My male brain wondered if she was into chocolate in the bedroom too. I let that fade away so I could enjoy her presence.

We played so late into the night I almost forgot about the stress of having to go see Lexa tomorrow to find out if we'd have a long-standing partnership or rivalry that was bound to end in bloodshed.

A/N: This was more of a filler chapter for what's to come next chapter. Hope it didn't feel like a filler chapter? If you don't follow me on my Instagram at zaven_murven then you don't know that I'm opening up about my mental and physical issues and I'm trying to get a group chat going for mental, physical, and emotional health (even health and fitness motivation). If you want to join then reach out to me on my Instagram or my Tumblrs at Scaliarunsmylifenowareyouhappy, ToneItUpBabes.