Matt's POV:
Six months today.
I missed him.
I looked into the glass of my window.
I had convinced Linda to move back with her room mate, I needed space.
She had hesitantly agreed.
I sat alone for hours staring out my window.
I noticed my reflection.
I saw my face was wet.
I touched it, and I felt tears. It still hurt like he left yesterday.
I had lost weight, and I knew it was unhealthy.
But I didn't care.
I threw up usually about once a week.
Just from the feeling of being sick to my heart. My stomach responded. Linda hung around me still, but she was starting to lose hope.
She walked in on me once, with a knife to my throat. I put it down and fell into her sobbing, thanking her for being there. I sobbed for hours, up all night. Our wrists gained another cut that night. Number eighteen.
I told her to take the knife from me.
I kept it there incase I felt the need to slit my wrists.
I didn't want to die, I just didn't know what to do.
She slept here some nights.
My Play Station was getting dusty. I looked at it, than sat down and just ran my fingers over it.
A small ghost of a smile played over my face.
I turned it on and began to play, and shortly Zelda and Link took over my mind. I wasn't happy, but I didn't think about my pain.
This is how I got addicted to my games.
It was something I did a lot before, but not all the time.
Now every spare second I had, I was on it.
Linda smiled more, I actually laughed when I beat a particularly hard boss.
-X-
My Play Station stopped amusing me and I was sinking fast.
I couldn't sleep more than eight hours a night. I had cut myself four more times.
Now I had 23.
Linda had 23.
I counted every time I did it. My school grades weren't suffering. I was still at the top. If I tried I could have probably beaten Near. So, with no effort, I hadn't changed. I didn't want to beat Near because Mello would resent me.
Mello.
Eight months after he left me. I couldn't even think of his name without it hurting. Did he think of me? Did he care? Was he alive?
That thought made fall to my knees, and as I fell to my knees my head banged into my desk. I passed out.
-X-
I woke up with my head in Linda's lap. Her eyes were red and her face was wet.
"I'm sorry Linda, I don't want to hurt you anymore." I said, my face dropping.
"I feel like I'm not doing you any good, Mattie. I love you and it hurts to see you like this. Tell me, did you knock yourself out on purpose? You could have had a concussion, or died of blood loss. Head wounds bleed a lot."
"Linda, no, I love you too. I love you being with me, but sometimes I need to be alone. Sometimes, I don't want to see you hurt because of me. No one can help me anymore, hun. I broke down and fell to my knees again. I didn't know I was that close to my desk."
I leaned up and pressed my lips to her cheek, and brusshed my fingers over her other cheek.
She smiled and placed her hand over mine. She knew it was just a way of saying that I loved her, but that it wasn't on the lips showed that I didn't want her like that.
She kissed my hand and stood up, leaving me alone.
But this was different.
I knew she would return in a few hours. I slid to my window and watched. I watched the leaves rustle gently in my Maple.
The maple Mello had found me in to comfort me when I hid as I first came here.
The maple we shared our first kiss under.
The maple where our names were scratched.
The maple where I watched him play under, too insecure to come outside, the maple he scratched our names into the trunk.
The maple I never want to see again.
I turned away and cired myself to sleep.
-X-
I probably forgot to mention I was fifteen. I turned sixteen today.
Linda came to my room with vanilla cake. Chocolate made me think of blondie.
She handed me a small box, and I took it. I opened and peered inside.
Inside was a rose, and a 20-dollar bill wrapped around the stem.
I smiled and hugged her. "Thanks, Linda."
She nodded and handed me another box.
Inside was a bunch of my favorite classic games, and a Gameboy.
"Oh my gosh, thanks Lin!" I said, and hugged her, smiling.
Her eyes widened at my smile. She broke into a grin and grabbed me into a tight hug.
"I have to get you gifts more often if it makes you smile." She said.
My smile had shrunk, but was still there. I said "Don't spend your money on me."
I flicked on the gameboy and lost myself in it.
I was still dead inside and Linda was losing her touch.
Mello's POV:
It was Matt's birthday today. I itched to text him.
Instead, I went and got a tattoo.
I got his name. It was over my scars. The artist just smiled when he saw the scars and pushed up his sleeve to get the job done well.
He matched.
-X-
[A/N] Sorry, they are getting short. I will try and update soon, but it seemed like Matt was starting to get happy.
He wasn't. I had to add the Birthday bit, but it made him seem happy-full.
Derp.
Ideas, flames, comments, praise, etc, is all appreciated!
I think I will update tonight. :)