"You're not Edward." I said flatly as I opened the door to the Volvo. The tinted windows had prevented me, and the rest of the student body, from actually seeing who was inside, but we'd all learned to assume it was Edward. It should've been Edward. Instead, Jasper sat in the driver's seat with a blank expression. It had been a week since he spoke to me by the river.
"So it would seem." He brushed me off. I debated on just shutting the door and running in the opposite direction before I sat down in the car with a resigned sigh.
"What do you want, Jasper?"
He ignored my question and started to drive. Instead of driving towards my house or the Cullen's house, he drove in the completely opposite direction. "I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself."
"I have nothing to prove to you." I snapped. It was easy to get angry at Jasper, he was brutal and honest and the heels I was wearing were pinching my feet. He didn't need to know how right he was and he didn't need to know that the weight of his words had settled on me almost as heavy as the diamond ring gracing my finger. In reality I probably didn't even need to say anything. There was no hiding from the empath. I settled back into my seat, trying to brace myself for whatever insults he was ready to hurl at me today. He must've picked up on the mood that I was in because he made no comment about how I very much so had something to prove to him and instead shot me a smirk.
We drove out to the cliff side overlooking the beach and the scene was reminiscent of when I first went cliff diving in La Push. Jasper got out of the car and I followed suit, unsure as to why he brought me here.
"Well?" I prompted.
"Jump."
He couldn't be serious. And yet, looking at him I knew that he absolutely was serious. He was slowly stalking towards me; my steps backwards were matching his steps forward until I was standing precariously by the edge. "Jump."
"Fuck you, Jasper." I spat. "Is this some kind of test to see if I speak up for myself again? Because there you go, there's my answer. You're psycho."
His dark eyes didn't waver or look impressed. I was waiting for him to decide that I had in fact redeemed myself by refusing to obey his ridiculous command but instead he just got closer until I had nowhere else to step back towards. Suddenly I was free falling. The very ground beneath me had slipped away and then icy waters enveloped me and filled my lungs. Sputtering and coughing, I bobbed back to the surface. "Jasper, help! I can't swim in water like this!"
He continued to impassively stare at me from the top of the cliff. "Save yourself."
Disbelievingly, I continued to bob in the water for a second before being dragged under again and realizing that he indeed was not coming down to save me. My vision swam and I pushed up to the surface again, gasping for air. Anger propelled me forward and I strained to keep myself from being submerged again. My muscles ached as I finally made it to the beach and my clothes clung to my body, cold, wet, and heavy. The shoes that I had been so annoyed with earlier were lost somewhere in the depths of the water and I wondered if one day they would resurface in the waves on the beaches of California. Hysterical laughter burst through my lips.
"Good job, Isabella." He congratulated me softly. I wanted to smack him but I was shivering so badly that no other movement was possible. Jasper shed the jacket he was wearing and put it around my shoulders, seeming to finally understand at least one human need of mine.
Pride took the edge off my anger. I hadn't needed anyone else to come and save me. The meaning behind Jasper's little lesson was clear, but I was still bitter that it involved all but pushing me off the edge of a cliff to prove the point.
Once we were safely back in the confines of the car I checked my phone, which had been conveniently left in the cup holder. There were about a dozen missed calls from Edward and I could only imagine what his reaction must've been. There was no doubt that Alice had seen it and told him. The phone started ringing again and suddenly the silence in the car with Jasper seemed even preferable to Edward's hysteria. I ignored the ringing and instead cranked up the heat in the car.
Jasper briefly looked over at me, but otherwise didn't comment on my behavior. "You seem to be sorely mistaken as to what life as a vampire entails."
I wondered when Jasper decided to be my self-appointed guide for the afterlife. Instead of responding, I remained quiet in the passenger seat. That was one thing I could readily admit he was right about and admitting he was right seemed painful to do so instead I opted for being quiet. Edward and the rest of the family rarely ever spoke to me about the nitty gritty details about being a vampire. Of course, I knew the basics, but I wasn't stupid enough to assume it was as simple as that.
"Here you are, signed up for an immortal life you know nothing about with a man you know nothing about and a family that has made sure that you're so completely spineless as to make sure you refer to them for every decision you make. There's nothing pretty about being a vampire and while the Cullens think they can protect you from real vampirism, they're just setting you up for failure when you finally are turned."
"I know Edward." I pathetically answered, knowing that he'd be angry that was the detail I chose to pay attention to. Hell, I was annoyed, but these talks I'd begun having with Jasper… I wasn't so sure that I liked them. They all seemed to follow a similar pattern, Jasper would harshly lay out the facts in front of me and I'd keep quiet and listen, pretending they weren't destroying the only world I'd come to know. It pained me to admit that he was probably right. If I could hardly deal with the brutal honesty that he kept throwing at me then how did I expect to survive the vampire world?
Jasper's expression reflecting his disappointment and he leaned over and opened the door for me, effectively signaling me to get out. I hadn't realized we'd already arrived at my house or that Edward was standing on the porch. I flinched at the raw fury that seemed to be radiating off him but steadily made my way over, listening to the car speed away.
Instead of commenting on my lack of responses to his phone calls or the fact that Jasper just drove off with his car, he wrapped a blanket around my shoulder. "You're not hurt, are you?"
My limbs ached and exhaustion made the edges of my vision fuzzy. "No."
.:.
"I worry about you." Edward brushed the hair from my face as his arms wrapped around me, a thick blanket between us.
"Honestly Edward, there's no need to fuss. I got some rest and I'm fit as a fiddle now." I reassured him.
He leaned back to look at my face before pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. He hadn't stopped asking if I was alright since I first arrived home, clearly waiting for some breakdown of sorts. With a startling intensity, Edward quoted, "Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs."
"And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love." I smiled at him to reassure him before curling deeper into his chest. That was how Edward and I were; we spoke in poetry and iambic pentameter. Our time was filled with lingering kisses, sweet declarations of love, and soft caresses to the skin. There were no harshly uttered words, daring challenges, or cold truths. Instead there were metaphors, rhymes, and a sick sort of inadequacy that settled deep into my stomach. I didn't drown; I'm not as fragile as you think! I wanted to scream at him. He'd been coddling me ever since I came back from the cliffs and while I knew it was good intentioned, I was starting to feel a noose tighten around my neck. Speaking about it would do no good though, it would only make Edward angry and he'd go a back to playing the part of the wronged lover and brother. Things were simpler this way.
.:.
Sunny days made me euphoric. Wearing a light pink sundress that made me feel like I was back in Phoenix again, I glanced outside. It was cloud-free and noticeably Cullen free. Today was a beautiful combination indeed. I started my day off by stepping out to the backyard to barbecue so I could start grilling, as was only fitting on such a day. Nothing could dampen my mood, not the fact that the air was a little chillier than it should be given the sun was out, and not even the faint sparkle I saw hidden behind the branches. I waved my spatula in the direction of the sparkle, "I never pegged you as a voyeur."
I continued to hum as the blonde vampire stepped out, his skin mutedly glowing. He probably hadn't been trying all too hard to hide because I had no doubt that if Jasper didn't want to be seen, he wouldn't be.
"I never pegged you as…" He waved a hand in my general direction as if it explained something. I raised an eyebrow at him. Jasper didn't seem to be someone who was often at a loss for words. An unexpected wave of pleasure surged through me as I entertained the thought that me, the human, was able to leave a vampire reeling, particularly Jasper. It was perhaps an over exaggeration, but an entertaining thought nonetheless.
"Did you want some? I'll be sure to keep the meat extra rare for you." I teased, momentarily unsure if he'd find the joke distasteful as the rest of the Cullens, sans Emmett, would.
A slow smile crept up on his face. It wasn't particularly friendly or good humored, but it was something. "Are you offering to put yourself on the grill for me?"
I rolled my eyes and tapped his forehead with my spatula. Anger flashed across his face before he seemed to get hold of himself. Perhaps I had overstepped my boundaries, but he'd done a whole lot of that since he started hanging around, so I figured it was only fair. A wry kind of amusement replaced his irritation instead. "You have to decide Jasper, helping prepare me for vampirism will go nowhere if you eat me first."
"Perhaps the latter would be easier." He muttered.
I grinned. "Perhaps it would, but you've never really struck me as the type to take the easy way out."
He shrugged. "If it's convenient and suits my purpose, sure I do."
"But don't you have some kind of unshakable set or principles or something that that goes against?" I questioned as I continued to grill. "Isn't that what the point of our time together is about? You instilling some kind of morality in me that helps me better prepare for the tumultuous vampire life that's to come?"
"I'm trying to help you prepare for the afterlife; morality has nothing to do with neither my intentions nor my lessons. Principles are nothing but a set of standards the people hide behind. Principles are about lying what about what you stand behind that. I'm not teaching you to lie, you're already better at it than you've given yourself credit for; I'm teaching you the rules of survival."
"Isn't the fact that you're stepping in and teaching me something the others won't considered some kind of moral high ground? Besides, I don't think what you're saying is true. There wouldn't be any moral people in the world if people didn't actually hold true to their principles."
He shook his head. "For me to be placed on some kind of moral high ground, you make the assumption that my intentions are wholesome. I have my own reasons for helping you. And why do you keep equating principles to morality? The two aren't the same thing. Hypothetically, if someone managed to stick with their principles in all aspects of life, that doesn't guarantee that those principles are aligned with common standard for morals."
"What are your intentions then?" I curiously asked as I mulled over what he was saying. "They may not be the same thing, but they're inherently related. You're talking about these things like morality and principles as if you don't have any, but I don't believe that's true. You can't survive for an eternity without standing for something, otherwise you'd go mad."
Jasper ignored my first question. "I have a loose set of standards that I choose to live by when it pleases me and that's enough for me. Morality is of no consequence, it's merely a subjective term that people use when someone does something they don't agree with whether it's right or wrong."
"That can't be true. You must have something keeping you grounded, whether they're principles or some great cause. For you to have such a view on principles and morality, you must've been jaded pretty early on. People who live forever wouldn't last too long if they didn't have something to live for." Jasper's eyes tightened in response to what I said, alerting me to the fact that something I had mentioned had rang true.
"And what of you, Isabella? What do you suppose you're going to live for once you've been turned?"
"Edward," I said confidently. If only lying to an empath were that simple. My voice may not have faltered and my face may have remained resolute, but my emotions wavered for a moment. Jasper knowingly looked at me. Instead of commenting though, he watched me as I finished grilling, wondering how exactly the conversation took the turn it did.
AN: Sorry if there are any mistakes in this, I didn't have time to put the chapter through my beta! Anyhow, here it is. Tell me what you all think of Jasper and his methods. Was Bella too easy on him? Thank you guys for reading! xo