The late-afternoon sun lay in thick, yellow stripes across Anna's bare back. She looked up from her sketchbook and blew at the glowing dust particles floating in the sunlight in front of her. She was lying on her stomach in bed, with only a damp towel piled on top of her head. Haphazardly wrapped, it was overbalanced and resting coolly on her forehead.

"Too…fucking…hot…" she groaned aloud, pushing the towel off her eyebrows. She selected a maroon pencil from the box at her elbow and began to shade in a part of her drawing. She had sketched one of the choir members at Saving Grace at the service on Wednesday.

Anna liked the choir. The music was her favorite part of church, even if the lyrics did tend to be a little too repetitive and simplistic for her liking. The guitars and drums were able to reach her in a way the sermon didn't. Music was open for interpretation in a way that "you're going to hell" was not.

Her phone pinged. It was Kristoff.

"Gettin excited for tonight?" he'd texted.

Anna tapped out a reply. "Ugh, yes, just please god get me through this dinner first. Don't forget to pick me up at the Mexican place on Alamo 8:00 and DON'T BE LATE."

"I'll be there. Maybe even 5 min early."

"My hero," Anna tapped out and grinned at her phone. Thank God I have at least one real friend here.

"So who all's goin?" Kristoff texted.

"Hans, Juan and Amber," she replied. Juan and Amber were both fellow church volunteers. She'd been introduced to them—along with what felt like a thousand other people—at some point during the week, but beyond their names, she didn't know anything about them.

"Double date. Nice. Hope Hans is a good kisser."

Gross. He wishes. "Shut up."

Anna tossed the phone onto her pillow and sat up, rolling her cramped shoulders—she was still a little sore from all the physical labor she was doing. She walked over to the cheap, full-length mirror propped against her bedroom wall, her head wobbling a bit as the towel on her head swayed. She yanked it off, ran her fingers through her damp hair and stood looking at her body in the mirror.

She traced a fingertip over the tan line on her chest, the big U of her tank top's neckline. More like burn line. It was tender, but not painful.

She trailed her fingers further down, over her breasts and the gentle bumps of her ribs. There is something inside of me that makes me like girls.

She had yelled this at her mother the night before she left for New Mexico. "In here," she'd said angrily, pointing at her head. Then she placed her hand tightly over her heart. "In here. There is something physically in me that can't be changed, Mom."

Her mother had shaken her head vehemently. "You dated boys before. In high school. Why can't you date boys again?"

Anna had dropped her hands to her sides, feeling defeated. "I only dated boys because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. I didn't—I wasn't actually attracted to them."

Her mother had curled her lips in and looked up as though trying not to cry. "And… and you are attracted to girls?" she'd said shakily.

"Yes, Mom." Anna had said, her voice softening.

Her mother had taken a deep breath and looked her in the eye. "But two girls cannot have a relationship, Anna," she'd said wearily. "It's just not possible. It's not right."

Maybe it's not possible. Anna scowled at her reflection in the tilted mirror, thinking of Rory. She tried to push the thought from her head. She hadn't talked to her mother since she'd left Minneapolis nearly a week ago.

She crossed her arms over her stomach and dug her fingernails painfully into her sides, pressing in harder, deeper, feeling her temper slip away. When she took them away, angry red half-moons peeked out among her ribs.

Underneath the table, Anna tapped out a text to Kristoff: "Dude this IS like a double date."

She was sitting in a cozy, brightly colored New Mexican restaurant in downtown Albuquerque, crammed into a small booth with Hans and two of his friends. She sent the text message off to Kristoff, stuck her cell phone between her thighs, and took a sip of ice water. Her mouth was on fire. This damn chili sauce is way hotter than it looks.

"How do you like it?" Hans asked, swallowing a mouthful of food and nodding at Anna's plate. He was sitting across the table from her, wolfing down a burrito slathered in red and green sauce like nobody's business.

"It's good," Anna said, "but hot. Don't they know what 'mild' means down here?" She fanned her mouth with a hand. Jesus Lord almighty. My lips are burning off.

Hans and his friends chuckled.

"Don't worry. You get used to it," Amber said, smiling at Anna. Amber was a tall girl with short, dark hair. "I grew up in South Dakota—things were definitely milder up there."

"The trick," Juan said, looking up from his plate, "is desensitization. Just drink eight ounces of straight hot sauce every morning, and you'll be used to it in no time."

Anna snorted and rolled her eyes. Juan was Amber's boyfriend, and Anna had taken a liking to him right away. He was even taller than Amber and a total joker. He reminded her a little bit of Kristoff.

"Oh, yeah? Was that was you did?" she asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Yes, it was, and it worked like a charm," Juan said seriously. "I can inhale ghost chilis like nobody's business."

"Liar," Amber giggled.

Anna felt her phone vibrate and pulled it out from between her legs.

Kristoff had replied. "Hahaa you never told me you and hans were going steady!"

Anna smirked, tapped, "stfu," and sent off the text. "So uh, how long have you two been together?" she asked Juan and Amber, taking another spicy bite of enchilada.

"Oh, gosh, it's been, what, three and a half years now?" Juan asked Amber.

"Yep," Amber said, smiling at him before turning to Anna. "We're getting married next year."

"Wha—married?" Anna asked through her mouthful of food. "Really? Wow. I-I mean, it's just… you're so young."

Amber shrugged. "We'll be twenty-two by that time."

Right. Like I said—young. "Well, good for you guys! God," Anna laughed, bringing her glass of water to her lips, "that makes me feel so single right now."

"Well, you won't be single forever," Amber said, cocking an eyebrow and smiling in Hans's direction.

Anna nearly choked on her water. Oh god, eww, did Hans tell her that I was into him or something?

Hans cleared his throat loudly and, without meeting Anna's eyes, stammered, "So, uh, Anna's hanging out with Kristoff tonight. Right, Anna? What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, I'm gonna meet some of his friends from school."

"Oh, cool!" Juan said. "Kristoff's a nice guy. I've known him a few years. He's pretty solid."

"Well," Amber said, smirking, "except for the fact that he's—"

"Amber," Hans cut her off, shaking his head sternly.

"What?" Amber asked innocently. She propped an elbow on the tabletop and pointed her fork at Anna. "Anna, we have it on good authority that Kristoff's—"

"This is not appropriate!" Hans said. "Anna doesn't need to know that!"

The fuck? "Know what?" Anna asked, her curiosity piqued. "I wanna know."

Hans sighed, looking extremely reluctant, and glared at Amber. "Anna, a few months ago, there was a—a rumor going around that Kristoff was—well, that he played for both teams," Hans said, his voice dropping to a whisper at the end.

Anna was taken aback. Seriously? "What, that he's bi?"

"Yeah, but it's not true," Hans said fervently.

Anna shrugged. "Um, okaaay… I mean, what would it matter if he was, anyway?"

All three of Anna's tablemates looked slightly uncomfortable. Hans scratched his head and shifted in his chair. Juan pushed cold black beans around his plate with his fork. Silence. Then—

"Well, we—m-my parents wouldn't let me be friends with someone like that," Amber said nervously.

"Your parents?" Anna asked, cocking an eyebrow. Or yourself?

Amber sighed. "It's just wrong," she blurted. "I mean, don't you think, Anna?"

"Amber—" Juan began.

"It is, Juan! You know it is," Amber said defensively, dropping her fork on her plate and crossing her arms over her chest. She looked to Hans for support. "Don't you think, Hans?" she asked. "Come on, I know you agree with me."

Anna turned to look at Hans, too. His cheeks were burning with redness. He was staring resolutely down at his plate, half-heartedly flipping soggy pieces of burrito around with his fork. His hand was trembling.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"What?" Amber asked.

"I-I said 'yeah,'" Hans said more loudly, looking up. He cleared his throat. "It's wrong, okay? Of course it's wrong. It's disgusting."

Amber looked satisfied. She nodded and took another bite of food. "You know, I feel sorry for people like that. I feel sorry that they're never gonna know what heaven's like."

"Hey, baby. How much?" Kristoff shouted out the window as he rolled up alongside the curb outside the restaurant in a beat-up, rust-orange pick-up truck.

Anna walked toward the truck. "Shut up. I only take high-end clients, which rules you out." She pretended to karate kick the passenger-side door.

Kristoff laughed. "Get in, Muscles."

Anna pulled open the door. It squeaked and groaned. "Yikes. Real beauty you got here."

"Yep," Kristoff reached out his open window and patted the door, smiling happily. It made a hollow, metallic thump. "My first love."

Anna snorted, pulling on her seatbelt. "Thanks for picking me up."

"Hey, no prob," Kristoff said, pulling out into the street. "So how was dinner?"

Anna groaned.

"Oh yeah? That bad? Hans a bad kisser or something?"

Anna slugged him on the shoulder. "Would you stop? No, they just—well, I know you're friends with Hans and all, but I think he's sort of… weird? Like, he doesn't ever really loosen up, you know?"

"I think maybe he just… has a lot on his mind a lot of the time," Kristoff said carefully.

Anna shrugged. "I guess," she said doubtfully. "I don't know. Plus he and Amber just have some opinions I don't agree with." She slumped down in the seat and stuck her feet on the dash.

"Ah. Mind if I ask what kind? I mean, which opinions, exactly? I know they kind of have a lot."

"Oh, just…" Anna rubbed her palms into her eyes.

She didn't want to bring up the rumor about Kristoff. What if it was a sensitive subject? Or worse—what if Kristoff didn't like gay people? She couldn't lose her only real friend in Albuquerque.

"You know, I don't always agree with everything the church says," Kristoff offered. "I mean, yeah, I'm pretty involved there, but there's a lot I don't agree with, too."

"That's how I feel," Anna said. "There are some pretty big things that I don't agree, either. Apparently Hans and his friends believe a lot of things I don't."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Oh… just stuff. But let's not talk about them anymore. They're harshing my party mood. So where are you taking me?"

"My buddy Jon's house. He lives near the university campus. That's where the party's at."

"I thought you went to the community college?"

"I do, but John goes to UNM," Kristoff explained.

"Ah."

"Trust me, the parties there are way better. But you're not gonna get too crazy tonight, are you?"

"What do you mean?" Anna asked indignantly. "I know how to conduct myself appropriately at a party, thank you very much. I've been to enough of them. I'm ridiculously popular back home, you know."

Kristoff glanced at her, grinning. "I'm sure you are. Just making sure I won't have to carry your drunk ass home tonight."

Dad would murder me if I came home drunk. Actually, no—he'd call Mom, and then she would fly down and murder me.

Kristoff nudged her with his elbow, half a smile creeping up his face. "You know I'm just kidding, right, Muscles? I know you can handle yourself. Probably better than I can, to be honest. You wouldn't know it by looking at me, but I'm kiiiind of a lightweight."

Anna snorted.

Well, it wasn't a frat party, but it was smelly and crowded. There were about fifty students milling about the living room, kitchen and upper story of the house that Jon shared with his two roommates.

"Kristoff, my man!" Jon pulled Kristoff into an embrace and pounded him on the back. He was tall and muscular, like Kristoff, but in place of Kristoff's blond mop, he had a head of flaming red hair.

"And who's your friend?" he asked, smiling widely as he noticed Anna.

"I'm Anna. I work with Kristoff, sort of," Anna said.

"Well, what do you say we get you a drink, Anna?" Jon turned and headed into the kitchen. He filled a Solo cup with cheap beer from a keg and stuck it in her hand. Anna took an enormous gulp, wanting to forget about dinner and her mother and Rory and being stuck in New Mexico.

Jon kept Anna all to himself for quite a while, asking her all kinds of questions about her life in Minneapolis. Anna could tell he was attracted to her. She smiled and chatted politely until she finished her drink.

Finally, after refilling her cup, she managed to sidle away, in search of Kristoff.

Nobody here knows that I only want girls. Nobody knows that I almost fucked one last year.

It gave her a little bit of a thrill, knowing that many of the guys' eyes were on her, while hers kept seeking out the girls in the room—most of whom were older, and none of whom particularly caught her eye.

She managed to move about the house with Kristoff, chatting with various people, never sticking too long with one person or group.

By the time she was halfway through her fourth beer (Kristoff kept refilling her cup for her), most of the lights in the house were off and the music was turned up so loud that Anna could feel it pulsing in her chest. She felt tipsier than she'd meant to be.

"Obviously you weren't kidding about being popular. I'm pretty sure every guy here wants you," Kristoff shouted over the music as Anna waved away a guy attempting to lure her onto the dance floor.

"Lucky me," Anna said sarcastically.

"Uh, yeah!" Kristoff replied.

"I don't like it," Anna said. "There's a difference between people liking you and people wanting to get in your pants. I'm not interested in the latter." She realized vaguely that she should probably shut up.

"Gotcha," Kristoff said.

"I didn't mean you." Anna leaned forward to shout into Kristoff's ear over the music. "I mean—I don't think you're just trying to get into my pants."

"No, sure, I know," Kristoff said.

"Sorry." Anna sighed.

"For what?"

She lifted and dropping her shoulders dramatically. "I don't know."

"You okay?" Kristoff asked.

Anna looked up. "Hey, Kristoff, you're my best friend here in Albuquerque," she said. "I feel like I've known you forever even though it's only been like, a week. I don't want things to be weird between us." She gestured between the two of them with the hand not holding the Solo cup. She always moved her hands more than usual when drunk, trying to make up for her slowed thoughts.

"Who said they were weird?"

"No one, I don't know, I just…" Anna struggled through the fog of alcohol, trying to decide what she wanted to say, feeling more drunk by the minute. She took a breath and smiled at Kristoff. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

"Oh, okay. I'll just be waiting here, all by myself!" Kristoff shouted at Anna as she dizzily wound her way through the bodies in the living room.

In the bathroom down the hallway Anna walked in on two girls, one of whom was sobbing on the toilet, her mascara smeared across her face. The other girl was wetting a wad of toilet paper under the faucet, probably for the crying girl's face.

Oh, nice. Anna gripped the doorknob with one hand and gave an awkward wave with the other. "Sorry," she squeaked, closing the door on the girls.

Upstairs it is, then.

Whoa.

She stumbled sideways on the steps, her shoulder hitting the wall. Maybe too much beer? She looked at the half-empty cup in her hand. Nah, not too much beer. What the hell. She took another gulp.

At the top of the stairs, she found herself in a dim, narrow hallway. She pushed her way through the first door on the left, hoping it was the bathroom. Instead she found herself in a large bedroom. The music was much quieter up here. There was a twin bed shoved in one corner, and inside a large cage to her right, an adorable chinchilla slept in a tiny hammock.

In front of her, a group of older students was clustered in front of the wide-open window, sitting on a couch and several chairs, passing around a joint. The light from a couple of lamps cut through the hazy air like sun through an early morning fog.

Anna gave a tiny gasp when she saw the chinchilla. Ignoring the group of smokers, she turned adoring eyes on the silky-looking animal. Wanting to stroke his fur, she attempted to stick a finger gently between the cage bars, but the hammock was out of reach, so she settled for talking to it instead.

"You're so cute. Look at your big ears," she cooed.

The chinchilla cracked one eye, looking annoyed.

"How do you sleep through all this racket, huh?" Anna asked it softly. "Bet you wish people like me would just leave you alone. I wish that, too, sometimes."

She suddenly realized the chatter in the room had ceased. She straightened up and looked over at the group in front of the window.

"Who're you?"

The question came from a young man with straggly, shoulder-length blond hair and a disheveled handlebar mustache, who was looking at Anna upside-down, his head drooping over the back of the couch.

Anna felt her face flush as everyone else turned to look at her.

"Oh, I-I was just looking for the bathroom," she said with a breathy laugh. "Sorry."

"You messin' with Suzie Q?" the guy said, still looking at her upside down. His eyes darted toward the chinchilla.

"Oh, you mean—?" Anna gestured toward the animal. "No, I was just…"

"He doesn't like redheads," the boy said.

"Oh. What—come on, seriously? Wait, Suzie Q is a 'he'?" Anna asked, confused.

"She sees no reason to be confined to the prison of assigned gender," the boy drawled pretentiously.

Anna felt her face grow even redder as she swayed a little bit, simultaneously annoyed and self-conscious. She put a hand on the chinchilla cage for support, feeling glad that the room was so dim.

"Stop trying to imprison his chinchilla!" someone else cried, and a couple people snorted with laughter.

Anna backed toward the door. "Yeaahh. Okay, I'm gonna—" She started to turn.

"Wait."

Anna blinked and looked around. From the floor beneath the window, a girl emerged from the shadows, pulling on a joint. She handed it to a girl sprawled in the armchair next to her and blew the smoke out slowly as she stood up. "I'll show you to the bathroom," she said to Anna. "I need a drink anyway."

A few hoots followed the girl as she stepped carefully through the hazy room toward Anna.

Holy—fucking—shit.

Anna watched the girl as she approached. Her skin was so pale, and her hair so blond, that she seemed to glow in the smoky darkness. She wore a dark t-shirt that had been cut into a drooping tank, and speckled-gray skinny jeans. More than half of her right arm was covered with tattoos. She was gorgeous.

She smiled. "Hey," she said softly, stepping around Anna.

Anna turned slowly, her eyes glued to the girl's. "Hi," she breathed.

"You coming?" The girl paused in the hallway, tilting her head.

"Oh—yeah." Anna nodded quickly and followed after her, trying to keep her steps steady.

The girl moved gracefully down the dark hallway and pushed a door open at the other end. "Here you go," she said, reaching an arm into the room to flip on the light. Brightness flooded into the hallway and illuminated the girl's face. "You okay?"

Anna nodded, noticing her pink lips and the icy color of her eyes for the first time. She stepped into the bathroom and stood in front of the girl.

She is so fucking gorgeous. Okay, be cool. Say something not dumb.

"Thanks," she said. "You're a lifesaver."

"Sure. Sorry about those assholes in there," the girl said, jerking a thumb back towards the bedroom. Her voice was calm, and surprisingly quiet. "They're not really assholes. They're pretty cool once you get to know them."

"Oh," Anna said, exhaling. "No, they're not. I mean, they weren't. Assholes. I-I'm Anna, by the way." She stuck her hand out.

"Elsa." The girl quirked her lips up in a smile and placed her hand in Anna's, holding it—and her gaze—gently.

Elsa.

Anna just stood there in the doorway, smiling like an idiot, until Elsa said, "Well, I'm gonna go downstairs for a drink. You sure you're okay?"

"Oh—yeah. I'm fine. Thanks," Anna said. She dropped Elsa's hand and ran her fingers nervously through her hair, but didn't retreat into the bathroom.

Elsa looked at her for a moment. "Actually... I think I'm gonna step out back for a breather," she said. "You wanna join me when you're done in here?"

Anna grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I'd love to join you! I'll, uh—just be a minute."

"Okay. See you in a minute then, Anna." Elsa gave a little wave as she headed back toward the stairs.

Anna closed the bathroom door and leaned against it for a moment, biting her lip through a grin. "Hoh-kay, okay," she breathed.

This is a terrible idea.

Oh my god, she's so hot. And she wants to talk to me. Oh, this is not good.

Oh, god.

A/N: If you feel up to it, please leave a comment and tell me what you think! I'm sorry it took me quite a while to update; I'm just trying to do a good job with each chapter.