AN - Sorry about the long delay. I had a bit of writer's block for a while but I finally found the inspiration to finish this latest installment.

Chapter 3

There in the Shadows

I gave everything to the music. Performance after performance, even if my role was very small, I endeavored to give it my best effort. There was a pull in my soul again – it is very hard to describe. I used to feel this way long before I met my angel in the flesh. During the times when he taught me in the confines of my dressing room, I remember hearing his voice and feeling as though nothing would ever affect me again like that glorious voice. When he told me to sing, I would sing for him. I would pour my heart and soul into the music, feel my body protest from the exertion, but in the end, I would ignore the weakness and fall under his strange spell. I remember ending each lesson with the feeling that I could go no further, that my body could endure no more, and I would fall into bed, exhausted and utterly spent. Those moments were very strange and powerful.

Each night, I could not avoid glancing up toward Box Five. It was an inevitable action – the persistent itch to seek out that shadowed box and search its hidden recesses with my wary gaze. I knew what my angel was now. I knew that he was a man named Erik and that fact in itself would seem to make him less enigmatic to me, but I found myself feeling otherwise. When I sang my parts, the gas lamps shining brightly in my eyes, I could feel an impenetrable gaze locked onto me. That feeling, the shiver that coursed unnoticeably through my body, was the first sign that I knew he was there watching me.

I really was a prisoner. My voice was his to shape and my mind his to control. I sang for him, but there was fear in my eyes. No matter how benevolent he may have been at any one moment, I could not shake loose the thought that a strange doom hung over me. Each night, as I slipped into bed, I would find sleep hard to attain. Even though I was very tired, I would always wonder if tonight were the night that he would come for me. Would he come and take me away from everything I knew, forever? Sleep eventually came, but I would wrestle with my nightmares all night.

One night, after an especially difficult performance, I retired to my dressing room. My body was drained of all energy and I knew that would not be able to make the journey back to the dormitories. I decided to sleep on the small, but luxurious bed that lay to one side of the room. Divested of my costume and wrapped in a warm nightgown, I slipped beneath the blankets and blew out the last of the candles. The room was very dark and the only trace of light seemed to come from the mirror. I shivered beneath my quilt and felt the faint traces of sleep beginning to advance upon me.

I could feel his presence suddenly. There was no sound in the room and no illumination to make me believe it, but I felt him there. The sensation was so indescribable. My body trembled and I suddenly felt like a little girl again, pulling the blankets up to ward off the monsters that lurked in the dark. There were no monsters. I stilled my trembling and forced myself to calm down, as difficult as it was. I feigned sleep but I knew that he was still there, watching me. He had advanced on me and now stood beside my small cot. I felt the air stir near my face and struggled to keep my breathing soft and even. I could almost feel him. My skin prickled as though his hand had hovered above it, so very close. My heart was hammering loudly in my ears and I wondered if he could hear it too. I thought I heard a gentle sigh, but I could not be sure. Then, he was gone.

I woke the next morning, glancing around groggily as though unsure of where I would awake. I was still in my dressing room and my legs were twisted in the sheets – evidence that my sleep had not been sound. Something soft brushed my hand as I moved it about the blankets. My fingers closed around the object and brought it up before my face. A bloom. A single red rose of exquisite beauty tied with a familiar black ribbon. I paused for a moment, running my fingers gently over the delicate petals, and then along the satin ribbon. He was pleased with me. A part of me twisted in uncertainty. How long would this continue? How long would we play this game? Would I anger him again, only to return to his good graces with my performances? The petals brushed my skin by accident as I moved to get up and I froze. For a moment, I remembered his gentle touch. How long had I wished for my angel to be real? How long had I wanted him to be man whom I could touch? Now, my wish was granted and I drew away in fear, for I did not know how to react to something that I suddenly had been granted. Did papa somehow allude to this man when he spoke of the angel of music? Did he somehow know in those final moments of life that I was to be forever tied to this strange man? I was so confused. I did not know what to think.

I continued to perform, but somehow, my mind began to wander and my focus was tainted. I could not bring to my song the emotion so carefully instilled by Erik. I was still becoming accustomed to his name and it sounded strange upon my lips. My eyes would lose their focus upon the stage and I would feel as though I were drifting far from the confines of the opera house. I removed myself from the stage one evening, not satisfied with my performance but too distracted to feel the impact of it. My body ached with fatigue. I pressed through the heavy curtains backstage, blindly moving through them while deep in thought. A pair of hands suddenly shot through the drapery and twisted me back into the shadows on the sides. I was hidden away between layers of curtains, hearing the last of the performers leaving the stage and the hum of the audience gradually fading. A hand was clamped over my mouth, but I did not try to scream. I was strangely calm now, and I did not know why.

After a few minutes, I was turned around to face the figure that I had been so distracted with these past few days. He did not look pleased with me. I did not even try to form a defense to the accusations that were about to be leveled at me. My eyes were fixed upon his, my wrist still in his grasp.

"You are not trying," he finally said. "You are like a shell on the stage."

I remained unmovable, pliant to his every movement.

"Why have you forgotten everything that I have taught you? Why do you sing so vacantly?"

Not a word fell from my lips. I felt him tug me through the curtains and I followed without struggle. We moved through a darkened hall and stopped halfway down. I glanced around in confusion as he turned very briefly towards the wall. Before I could say anything, he tugged me through a hidden door and sealed it behind us. We moved slowly, but steadily down the pitch black passage before stopping abruptly. I felt my body pushed back against a wall I could not see and I let out a breath.

"Why do you neglect everything I have taught you?" I heard him growl.

I could only see his eyes in the darkness and feel his breath upon my skin as we stood so very close. I never felt this way with Raoul. I never felt the quickening of my heart at a mere glance, or at the rough silkiness of his voice when lowered in reprimand. A deep precipice lay before me, one that I feared very much, but my curiosity seemed bent on knowing more.

I finally found the words to speak. "It was not deliberate," I replied.

"Then you admit to your inattention?"

"Yes," I replied softly, my word barely echoing on the dark walls of the small passage.

"What draws your attention away?"

I could not tell him. I was afraid of him in so many ways, and yet undeniably drawn to him. What should I say? I could feel his full scrutiny. Erik's brilliant stormy eyes were upon me, and I could see them shining in the dark from the barest glint of light. I could only counter his accusation with one of my own.

"You watch me while I sleep," I said, my voice shaking in its vain attempt at confidence. "You come into my room without asking."

I felt a hand draw softly across my cheek and I tried to move back, forgetting the wall pressed to my back. The hand removed itself and I suddenly felt cold.

"Are you frightened, Christine?" he asked in the darkness, my name uttered in a slow fashion. "I have watched over you for many years. Why do you shun my presence now?"

"I-I don't know," I lied.

"So you reject your fallen angel so swiftly? You cast him away in the name of that boy?" his voice rose.

I did not mean to anger him, yet I seemed to do just that too often. His hand was clenching my shoulder and I suddenly became aware of the pressure.

"Please, angel, I did not mean. . ."

"Why do you deny your affections for him? Why do you lie to me?" I heard him cry out.

"He is my friend!" I shot back bitterly. "How could I shun a brother?"

I felt his grip slacken and then release me.

"You do not love the boy?" he asked me, his voice strangely hopeful.

It was done. I had admitted a truth that my heart had long deliberated over but now felt certain enough to disclose.

"I love him as a brother," I whispered in the dark of the hidden corridor. "I have realized that."

"Yet you push me away," he added.

"My heart is my own. I should choose who I love," I replied.

"Sometimes you cannot choose who or where you love," I heard him say, his voice soft and ragged.

"That may be," I replied, "but I will not be forced.

"If that is what you wish, so be it," he replied. "I will not intrude upon you again."

I could feel his breath upon my cheek and though I could not see him clearly, I knew he was standing very close. My heart began to race and I did not know whether I wanted to flee or forever be trapped in the dark with him.

"You're shaking," he said softly, his voice strangely husky.

"The hall is cold," I said.

"Before I leave, allow me one liberty, and I will not ask you again," he said.

"What is it?"

"Allow me one kiss, and I will not try again, unless you ask me," he replied.

"If that is what you wish," I replied, my voice barely a whisper. "And I will not," I added.

"Are you sure?" he whispered to me, his face very near to mine.

I shivered as I felt his hand upon my cheek again. It caressed me softly before gently tracing my parted lips. His other hand wound behind my head and I could feel his fingers gently massaging my scalp. His exposed cheek was pressed against mine, and moved down along my neck. I shuddered at the feel of another's face so intimately pressed to mine. I could feel his lips nearly touch the sensitive skin at the base of my neck. A soft moan slid from my lips before I could stop it. I felt him still as my heart continued to race and my breaths came quickly. He moved back up towards my cheek as a hand slid from my hair and wound itself around my waist, pressing me closer to him. I could feel the strength ebbing from his powerful frame. A part of me wanted to lose myself in his embrace, but I could not move as his ministrations continued. I felt my face move upward instinctively, my lips parting and sudden yearning for something I could not articulate. His other hand danced across my face as though taking in every detail of my profile.

"Please," I murmured without thinking.

His embrace tightened once more and I felt his lips upon my cheek, parted and gently caressing the skin in a manner so tender and yet so unbearable. I did not realize it until now, but my fingers were tightly clenching his shoulders. His breath fanned out across my face as his lips pulled away and I waited for the kiss he had demanded. But strangely, it did not come. He pulled away abruptly, leaving me cold and wanting, still pressed back against the wall. My chest heaved with exertion and I nearly slid down the wall. My eyes were unclosed, and seemed to suddenly see when they could see nothing before. My angel was no angel. I was no little girl. He was a man. Erik - that was his name. The name was repeated over and over in my mind. I could not force it out, nor did I wish to. Before I could respond, I found myself gently deposited in the hall outside of the secret passage, suddenly alone and shaking with something other than fear or nervousness.

From that moment, I knew my heart had decided. I was left wanting.