A/N: If they don't put up a yellow alert when they spot a Kligon vessel, they should.

Chappie Three: "Just Wanna Have Fun."

"Chekov, alter our course to Yin III." Kirk told him. "Yellow alert. Sulu, put shields up. Scotty, phasers. Uhura, keep communications open and tell Yin III we come in peace."

"With shields and phasers powered, their really going to believe that." muttered Uhura, but she did as the captain ordered.

"Heeeey Jimmyboy!" McCoy said, walking on the bridge. "What's wi all em lights flashin round?"

"His accent is worse than Chekov's!" said Uhura. "And it's getting stronger."

"I wonder why." Kirk said, avoiding her eyes. "There's a yellow alert, Dr. McCoy."

"Call me Leonard." McCoy said. Spock raised an eyebrow. "Why look! There's them bird o' preys!"

"Yes, Bones." said Kirk. "We have to go to Yin III to convince them to join the Federation."

"Can I come wi y'all?" McCoy asked. "Ya know, on da landing party?"

Kirk looked at the smiling doctor. "Sorry, but no Bones. I don't think I'll need you there."

McCoy looked temporarily downcast, but then smiled again. "Well, I'll be off ta my room!" He skipped out of sickbay.

"It would be advisable to keep him in his room, Captain." Spock said.

"Put security guards at his room, and lock the door." Kirk commanded the redshirts.

"Aye, sir."

Kirk looked out at the Klingon vessels. "Spock, Scotty, Chekov, and Ensign Rogers, come with me. We're beaming down."

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They arrived at a lush, wet, humid valley. Spock instantly took out his tricorder to examine the plants. "Don't go too close to em, though." Scotty warned. "We do na want another happiness plant affecting us."

A woman with pale purple skin and orange eyes approached the landing party. "I sssss ams Sorrer, wife to Chief sssss Sor. Why ares you here?" she spoke with a heavy accent.

"I am Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise, representing the United Federation of Planets." Kirk said. "I-"

"He wishes to enslave you." growled a Klingon commander, appearing from nowhere. "I am Lord Gorgon."

"He lies." Kirk said. "We wish for you to join the Federation."

"The Federation will enslave your people," Gorgon growled. "Keep them from enjoying life."

"That is not true!" Kirk snapped.

Sorrer scoffed. "I haves heard of yous, Captains Kirk. You bring orders and regulations. That is not me people's ways."

"I do not comprehend what you are saying." Spock said. "Do you mean that you live in an anarchy, where there are no rules?"

"Rules are not for me people. We live by our heart." Sorrer said, poking Spock's chest. "Our heart."

"My heart lies here, Sorrer." Spock said, pointing to his side.

"He is a Vulcan." Gorgon said. "They only have logic; no emotions at all." Sorrer looked horror-struck.

"Magic hims backs to your vessel." she said. "Or he will be killed here. No emotion! Pss!" she spat at Spock's feet. Spock only raised an eyebrow.

"You have to show emotion!" Kirk growled at the First Officer.

"But Captain-"

"That's an order!"

"Ordering him to show emotion?" Chekov asked Scotty. "That is like telling a cat to behave like a lizard!"

Spock stared at Kirk for a few moments, then frowned. "I am only part-Vulcan, Sorrer." he told her. "I can show emotion...if I must." He managed a strained-looking grin. Sorrer looked pleased.

"Good. Yous may stay." she turned back to Kirk. "Why do yous want the diamonds?"

"Diamonds?" repeated Kirk.

"I think she means the dilithium crystals." Scotty said.

"Of course. No, that is not our reason for coming." Kirk told her. "We only wish to welcome you to the Federation for your own protection."

"Wes ares a friendly species." Sorrer said. "We need no protection."

Kirk sighed. "But-"

"That is whats I say." Sorrer said.

"Even friendly species are attacked." Spock said. "We, the Enterprise that is, have seen many species attacked who had never harmed anyone."

"They were probably attacked by you!" Gorgon snapped. "Now, Sorrer and I were speaking..."

Kirk groaned. "Gorgon's going to use them to get the crystals." he said. "Scotty, Chekov- you two and Ensign Rogers look around. Try to find out how we can win them over. Spock, you and I are going to appeal to the Chief himself, Sor."

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McCoy sitting in his room, playing virtual ping pong. Once he had beaten the computer, he tried to go out to speak to Jimmyboy.

"Please stay in your room, Dr. McCoy." a guard said.

"Ah, I won't cause any trouble." McCoy told him. "Why y'all here, anyways?"

"The captain ordered it."

McCoy laughed. "Jimmyboy can be so funny. Come on, let me out." The guards stayed put. McCoy frowned, but then laughed again. "Why, Jimmyboy thinks this is some game, huh? I bet he's thinkin, 'Can this good ol' country doctor escape?'. Well, I can." He punched the two guards and ran for it. "Funny game, Jimmyboy. I'll have to tell him I won." McCoy saw Uhura.

"Dr. McCoy, you aren't supposed to be out of your room!" Uhura said.

"Where's Jimmyboy?" McCoy asked.

"Down on Yin III." Uhura answered. "Why?"

McCoy only rushed off to the transporter room. Uhura quickly ran to the bridge. She had to warn the captain that McCoy was coming down!

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Scotty, Chekov, and Rogers were looking around, as ordered. A few little aliens went up and spoke to them. "Hello, big peoples." one said. "Want to play a game?"

"A game?" asked Rogers.

"Oh, yes, a fun one! We wanna have fun!" the little boy said. He went up and poked Scotty's leg. "You're weird. You don't look like us."

"That's cause we're from Earth!" Scotty said, growing fond of the little one.

"Wow. Can we go there?"

"Maybe when ya're older." Scotty replied. The little one beamed at him.

"Wanna play a game?" he asked again. Instead of waiting for a reply, he pulled Scotty's leg, grinning at him. "I like you. Let's play."

As Scotty was being pulled away by a child that reached his knee, other children crowded around Chekov and Rogers.

"Wanna play?" they asked. Chekov and Rogers looked at one another.

"Vell, this is finding out about vay of life." Chekov said. "Let's play."

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Kirk and Spock climbed up the valley and walked inside a teepee filled with...toys? "Affirmative, Captain." Spock said. "These are playing devices."

"But why... are they here?" Kirk asked.

"Whys are yous here?" asked a booming accented voice. It was Sor. "My wife told me yous were coming."

"The United Federation of Planets-"

"Bagh!" snapped Sor. "Don't quotes rules to mes!"

"Actually, Sor, it was a-" Spock began, before Sor cut him off.

"I no care whats it is!" Sor growled. "The peoples here live by emotion and happiness. You Federation only lives by rules! Ands yous two! You never crack a smile, never have fun. That not what Yin III is about!"
"Fascinating, Captain." whispered Spock. "These people are so primitive they let emotion lead as a government."

"We do have fun." Kirk told Sor. "But we are here on serious business."

"Bagh!" Sor growled. "Serious? We haves no times for seriousness on Yin III. Now leave."

Kirk hung his head, and took out his communicator. But before he could open it up, it rang! "Uhura to Captain." it said.

"Yes, Lt. Uhura?" Kirk asked.

"It's about McCoy! He's beamed down, sir." she said. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just stay put up there. Try to have some fun." Kirk said, with a glance at Sor.

"Fun?" Uhura asked.

"That was an order, Uhura."

"Um...aye, sir? Uhura out."

Just as the communication was broken, McCoy appeared. "Hey, Jimmyboy!" He looked around. "And Spocko and...I don't know ya! But I'm Leonard Horatio McCoy!" McCoy grinned at Sor and shook his hand.

"I am Sor." the chief introduced. "Leader of Yin III. I thought that humans and Vulcans of the Federation were...serious."

"Aw, humans ain't too serious at all." McCoy said. "And ol' Spocko? He's just a prick." McCoy laughed. "Ain't he?"

"Quite." Sor said, chuckling as well.

"Yes, he is!" Kirk agreed, smiling at the ticked-off Spock.

"Well, this is one fine lookin planet!" McCoy said, looking out through the teepee. "Better than a whole lot a Earth, but not me Georgia."

"Is thats a good place?" Sor asked.

"Mighty fine!" McCoy answered.

"I personally enjoy San Fransisco." Kirk said.

"I woulds wish to gos to this planet." mused Sor. "And whats do you thinks of the Federation, Leonard?"

"They can be pricks too," McCoy answered. "But they're alright at heart." He poked Sor's heart. The chief beamed at him.

"I wants to gos to this Federation at Earth." Sor said. "It seems, by Leonard's points of view, nice."

"McCoy being happy saved this mission." whispered Kirk to Spock.

"It was quite a turn of luck." Spock agreed.

"I thought you didn't believe in luck." Kirk said.

"Until now, I did not."

Sor went up to Kirk. "I am sorry fors not believings you. Leonard shows me the right path." He looked around, and began to laugh. "And looks! You're landings party shows fun too!" Scotty, Chekov and Rogers were playing hopscotch with the little ones and laughing.

Gorgon was busy talking to an amazed Sorrer. "Yous are really funs!" cried Sorrer. "You believes in our ways of lifes!"

"Yes, Sorrer." Kirk said. "And your husband agreed to speak with the Federation."

Gorgon growled. "What have you done, Kirk?"

"It wasn't me, Lord Gorgon." Kirk replied truthfully.

"Nor I." Spock said.

Finally, the landing party was ready to beam up. "Thanks you fors alls you've done, Leonard." Sor said. "It was a pleasures meeting you. Woulds you wants to be an ambassador here?"

"I'm a good ol country doctor, not an ambassador." McCoy replied. "But thanks for da offer."

"It was he who did this?!" Gorgon screamed, lunging at McCoy. He pulled out an awesome-looking Klingon knife and slashed McCoy's stomach. The doctor yelled in fright and collapsed, blood spewing everywhere. Kirk grabbed McCoy while Spock said, "There has been an injury. Have medics arrive in the transporter room. Energize."

The last sight they saw of Yin III was Sor and Sorrer attacking Gorgon, who hastily beamed up to his ship.

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"How is Bones doing?" Kirk asked Nurse Chapel later in sickbay.

"See for yourself." she answered.

Inside sickbay, McCoy was sitting in bed with a bandage across his stomach. "Something is wrong with him." Kirk said to Spock. "What is it?"

"He is not...smiling, Jim." Spock answered. "We have gotten used to it."

"Oh." Kirk said. "Right." He walked over the doctor. "Leonard?" he asked.

"Why the hell are you calling me Leonard?" growled McCoy. "Don't you dare call me that again, Jim."

"He appears to be back to normal." Spock said.

"Normal?" asked McCoy. "When have I changed? And why am I here..." he trailed off as his memory returned to him. "JIM! SPOCK!"

"We only tried to make you happy!" Kirk cried.

"You know what would make me happy now?" McCoy asked, grabbing a lethal-looking medical instrument. "Seeing how your insides work!"

"Dr. McCoy?" Nurse Chapel asked. "Starfleet called. It is giving you a Peace Medal for convincing Yin III to join the Federation."

"Peace Medal, huh?" McCoy said. "Well, I won't kill you, Jim. I'll just give you a physical."

Kirk moaned, but brightened up. "Well, actually Bones, you'll have to wait on that."

"And why is that?"

"Because you'll have to go down to Earth for your Peace Medal ceremony." Kirk chuckled. "I guess you will be getting that shore leave after all."

"Let me get this straight." McCoy said. "You put me on a happiness plant so I wouldn't go down to Earth."

"Yes."

"But now, because of being on the happiness plant, I have to go down to Earth."

"Yup."

There was a pause.

"How ironic." Spock decided to say.

"That's one way of looking at it."

FIN

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