A/N: I'd like you all to give a hearty thank you to Avaric, for in some off-beat way we owe this chapter to him. We are not worthy.

"Fiyero, I hate to say this..." Avaric started, standing in the doorway of his friend's office. He didn't sound very apologetic.

Fiyero groaned. "What did you do now?"

"I volunteered you for my overtime shift today...but it's okay. You don't have a life anymore. You can handle a few more reports."

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

Avaric didn't catch the sarcasm. "I knew you would!" He tried to get away, but Fiyero called him back.

"That means you have to pick up my kids," he said.

"No can do." Avaric flashed Fiyero a devious smile. "I'm not keeping kid-friendly company tonight, if you know what I mean."

Unfortunately, Fiyero did know what he meant. "Sometimes I wonder why I'm your friend," he muttered.

"Sometimes I wonder that too," Avaric admitted and then ran off as fast as he could.

Fiyero slumped into his chair and pushed it back and forth, too stressed to remember to mentally thank whoever it was that had invented rolling office chairs, as he always did. Reaching for the phone on the desk in front of him, Fiyero tried Glinda's number...no answer. As usual.

Trying every number he knew by heart, even his parents, who weren't going to be much help seeing as they were in the Vinkus, Fiyero couldn't find anyone who was free or actually picked up their phone. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out his cell with high hopes that there was someone on his contact list that would prove themselves useful. It was astounding, really, all of those friends and not one of them actually pulled through when he needed them. But, in the process of pulling out his phone, a napkin fluttered to the ground. Fiyero assumed it was from his lunch and made as if to throw it out, until he noticed that there was faded writing on the back. It must have gone through the wash, but it was still legible.

And it was a phone number.

Fiyero made his decision as he made every other life decision: impulsively. He punched in the numbers before he could regret it and listened to the ringing.

One.

Two.

Three.

"You've reached the Indifference Hotline. How may I end this call sooner?" The voice sounded faintly amused.

Fiyero couldn't help but smile. "You don't get many calls, do you?"

"What services are required of me?"

"Babysitting," Fiyero said hopefully.

"You'll have to provide a baby for me to sit on." He knew she was joking, but she sounded serious.

"Will my two daughters suffice?"

"Hmm," Elphaba replied, "well, if it's a nanny you need, then I can refer you to an excellent one."

"Actually..." Fiyero hesitated. What was he doing? He didn't even know her. Deep breath. "I was hoping you could watch the girls."

"Me? But..." Elphaba sighed. "That's understandable. Nanny has gone a bit...Nanny's a good soul."

"You'll do it?" Fiyero said excitedly.

Elphaba sucked in a breath. "What is it that I'm doing exactly?"

"You have to pick them up at about..." Fiyero checked his watch. "Now."

"Thanks for the notice," Elphaba muttered. "And then where do I take them?"

"Um...well, to your place I guess...you know," he rushed, "if it isn't too much trouble."

She heard the desperation in his voice and replied, "No, no, that's fine. I'll see you later."

Hanging up, Fiyero stared at his phone bewilderedly. A smile spread across his face. He hadn't realized he would get to see her again.

Elphaba placed her hands flat on the counter of the desk and said, "I'm here to pick up Ariana and Jillian Tigelaar."

The secretary stared at her in horror and pointed to the chairs in the corner of the office.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to eat them," Elphaba snapped. "I much prefer eating kittens."

"I bet I would taste delicious," a girl's voice said behind Elphaba, "and this is your chance."

Elphaba spun around to face the two little girls. One was glaring at her, the other was chewing her wrist in an effort to taste herself. "I think we should go before they call Child Services on me."

The girls hopped up and pulled the straps of their backpacks over their shoulders. Elphaba waved to the secretary and led the girls to the bus stop across from the school.

"What is this?" Jillian asked.

"This is the portal where we take the submarine to my underwater castle," Elphaba replied, instantly serious.

"No," Ariana countered, "this is the bus stop."

"Fine," Elphaba relented tiredly, "but my way is so much more fun. You'll see."

They waited in silence until the bus came and then Elphaba picked up Jillian and paid their fare. With the way they were looking around you'd think they'd never been on a bus before. Which they probably hadn't.

"This is really gross," Ariana decided. She eyed the people sitting around her warily and slid slightly closer to Elphaba, even though she didn't particularly trust her either.

"When are you going to eat me?" Jillian asked Elphaba.

Elphaba suppressed a smile. Oh, to be a stupid child again. "I won't eat you," she said quietly, "but there are a few fish in the sea that you should be careful of." She pointed discreetly at a chubby woman sitting in the back of the bus. Her lips curved downward in a grimace and she wore far too much makeup for a lady of her age.

"See that one?" Elphaba hissed. "That's a bad fish. She'll gobble you up if you don't swim home fast enough."

Jillian cowered. "I heard that the red fishes are the meanest."

"It's true," Elphaba agreed.

"This is stupid," Ariana said hatefully and trained her eyes on the floor. "Take us home."

"You're always welcome to swim away, but be sure to call us when you're there," Elphaba offered and dug through her bag for her phone. "Here you go. Swim away, young fish."

Ariana glared at Elphaba and stayed in her seat. "Where's our dad?"

"He got pulled into the Eastern Ozian Current."

"Because the blue fish are a little bit brainless," Jillian explained, continuing on with their game. "They have a pretty pattern all over." She stuck her legs out straight in front of her and gestured along the length of her body. "And they like to show it off to all the girl fish."

Elphaba laughed. "Oh, so that's why they always wear a shirt open at the neck."

"And the pink fish float around in their bubbles," Jillian continued. "All the other fish are jealous because they have the prettiest hair." She twirled her own curly blonde pigtails around her fingers.

"What about the green fish?" Ariana snarled.

"Not to brag, but we're the smartest," Elphaba answered calmly. "And you?"

"I'm a red fish."

Jillian pushed herself up onto her knees and whispered into Elphaba's ear. "She doesn't like anybody but Mommy."

"Mommy's girl?" Elphaba turned to Ariana and then to Jillian. "So you're the daddy's girl?" Jillian nodded and Elphaba couldn't help but break into a smile at her childish arrogance. "Because you're the blonde, right?"

"That's not true," Ariana interrupted, reaching for her own sandy hair. It wasn't as light as Jillian's. "It just works like that."

"Alright, alright," Elphaba relented, but she couldn't help but notice that Ariana had a much more Vinkun look to her, while Jillian looked Gillikinese. Maybe that whole family had been created just to be split right along the middle.

"Are we there yet?" Jillian sighed.

"Almost."

"Why not?" the little girl demanded.

"Because it's bumpada-bumpada traffic," Elphaba said. She noticed the look Ariana shot her. "What? I can't invent my own language?" She leaned down and whispered to Jillian. "It's called Idinish."

Jillian laughed and waited a few seconds. "Now are we there yet?"

"Close your eyes," Elphaba advised and the child did as she was told. "Now imagine we're there."

Scrunching up her nose and squeezing her eyelids shut, Jillian muttered under her breath and then her eyes shot open. "Are we there?"

Elphaba nodded and took Jillian's hand. Ariana followed reluctantly behind. They came up to the old, blue apartment building.

"You live here?" Ariana said angrily. "This is the wrong side of town."

"Why?" Elphaba defended. It wasn't the most extravagant building, but it was home. "Because it's not where the rich people live?" She clicked her tongue. "I think it's time for you to expand your imagination a little bit, young lady." Her tone wasn't condescending. She was speaking to Ariana as she spoke to the girl's mother, to her father, to everyone. Children were people too. "I could help you. I once put my own sister through Imagination Bootcamp. Surprisingly, it worked. For a time."

Ariana sunk even further into her sulk.