A/N: If anyone is interested in beta reading for this story let me know via pm. Thanks for reading!
Kakashi lingered in the cemetery, watching the sun rise steadily higher above the trees. Though there were still clouds overhead, the rain had finally surrendered. The sunlight was warm on his back, easing some of the tension between his shoulders. Both that, and the peacefulness of the scene, relaxed him but they couldn't calm his thoughts entirely. The logical side of his mind warred with the emotional whenever he considered his current situation. Normally, reason overpowered his passions but just this once, Kakashi wanted to surrender to the latter. He physically ached to accept this reality, even if it betrayed him in the end. The fact that he knowingly entertained such thoughts terrified him.
Groaning at the absurdity of everything, Kakashi pushed himself back into a standing position. "I'll come back and see you again soon, Dad," he promised. After crouching for so long, his muscles were thankful to stretch while he walked back toward the village. He had no particular destination in mind but there was nothing left to say to his father and Kakashi needed activity of some sort.
Perhaps he should have trained with Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke today, after all. If it did nothing else, it would at least take his mind off everything. In the end, though, he hadn't been ready to face his students. Even their faces had been painful. Were any of the memories with them real? He recalled missions and challenges they'd faced together but it was possible that they never happened here. Kakashi determined to push them hard in training tomorrow. The chunin exams were a serious test of skill and if these versions of his students weren't ready, he would withdraw their applications himself. He didn't want any more deaths on his conscience.
As he approached the village, Kakashi wondered how he could make up his behavior to Rin. Even though his mind rebelled at the possibility of being here, the physical reality remained and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Both last night and this morning, she'd shown him a tremendous amount of undeserved patience. Had their situation been reversed, he would have analyzed whatever was going on until he understood it completely. Rin, however, let him to work through things on his own. She simply trusted him. He'd apologized enough to render the words meaningless without something more. Somehow, he needed to show her that he was sorry for his behavior, even if it felt justified.
Kakashi didn't know much about being married or dealing with pregnant women, neither factor ever having been a part of his life until now. Buying her something seemed the safest best but it had been so many years since he'd known Rin that it would probably backfire. Surely her tastes had changed from the thirteen-year-old he remembered. What did you buy a woman anyway? Jewelry? Clothing? Even the thought of trying to buy something like that made his head hurt. Kakashi needed something simple, something even he couldn't screw up.
After racking his brain, Kakashi finally settled on buying her some strawberries. It was a small gesture, based on his memories of their days as teammates. She'd always been partial to the sweet berry, becoming delighted any time they found some growing wild while on missions. Rin would giggle and gather as many as she could hold in the pink apron she wore over her shorts. Then, she would try to feed them to the boys on her team while Minato looked on, amused smile on his face. Kakashi always dismissed Rin's attempts out of hand but Obito would turn nearly as red as the fruit she held to his lips.
Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. Rin had been so young and innocent and he'd been far too arrogant to appreciate her. There was no way to undo his youth, but he could be a better man now. There were half a dozen stalls selling fruit so Kakashi picked one at random. As he selected a container of the berries, a familiar form slid past the edge of his vision. The man had his back to Kakashi as he walked down the street, wearing the jonin blue and green, rather than the black and grey of ANBU, but Kakashi would have recognized him anywhere. The short brown hair and glint of silver, when the man glanced to the side, confirmed Kakashi's suspicions.
Paying for the fruit quickly, he stepped back into the street and started after the form. He lengthened his strides but since the other man was nearly as tall as Kakashi, the distance didn't grow any smaller. Deciding that speaking with his friend again was important enough to warrant the energy, Kakashi sprang forward through the crowd, landing just behind his quarry. The man didn't miss a step at the sudden appearance; he'd probably sensed Kakashi approaching. "Yo, Tenzo," Kakashi began as his kohai turned. "How are you?" Tenzo's brow creased with puzzlement when his dark eyes appraised Kakashi.
"Hatake," Tenzo said formally, bowing. "I'm well." Kakashi missed a step, stumbling over air in shock. Though his friend was formal to a fault most of the time, it had been an eternity since Tenzo addressed Kakashi by his last name. The formality between them had faded years ago; Tenzo almost always called him Kakashi. Senpai, or whatever codename they were currently using. They had saved each other's lives dozens of time during their stint together in ANBU. "Were you looking for Obito?" The familiarity in his tone when speaking of Kakashi's former teammate was more painful than it should have been.
"I, uh," Kakashi tried to remember how to form words as Tenzo turned to look down the street. The blatant disinterest in speaking with him, drove all thought from Kakashi's mind.
When he couldn't get the words out, Tenzo tried a second time. "I think Obito is making a mission report if you needed him or was there something I can help you with?"
I wish there was, he thought sadly while his mouth answered of its own accord. "Thanks. Sorry for bothering you."
"Not at all," Tenzo replied, bowing again before turning away. Kakashi watched for a moment, people dividing around him, before stumbling out of way into an alley between two buildings, reeling. Unzipping his vest, he shrugged out of it and placed it on the ground, with the strawberries on top, then pushed up the left sleeve of his shirt. Muscles straining the bunched fabric as he tugged it higher. Once it was nearly to his shoulder, Kakashi lifted his arm to examine it. There was an unmarred stretch of skin between his shoulder and elbow; the swirled tattoo that marked him as ANBU was missing.
Sagging back against the wall, he let the sleeve fall down. Just like that, years of his life had been altered, erased. He closed his eyes and tried to make sense of the missions he remembered. Of all the lives he'd saved and the ones he'd taken. How much had been undone and what were the implications? Kakashi shook his head viciously. He couldn't think about that right now.
Gathering up the fruit and his vest, Kakashi walked back toward his apartment. Mine and Rin's, he thought with a shudder that balanced between dread and exhilaration. Never in his life had he felt as many conflicting emotions as in the past twenty-four hours.
To his surprise, Rin was nowhere to be found in the small apartment. She had been expecting him to train today so it was possible that she was running errands or doing whatever it was that housewives did. Kakashi realized had no idea what Rin's life was like now. Was she a jonin with her own responsibilities? Did she work at the hospital with her medical ninjutsu? He couldn't imagine her waiting all day for him to finish training or return from a mission but what would she do with her free time? There was no way for him to know until he saw her again but he would find out. The lack of her presence left him feeling empty in much the same way his nightmares did.
Deciding he couldn't stay in the apartment without Rin there, he placed the fruit on the counter and found a piece of paper so he could leave her a note. Tapping a pencil against his hand, Kakashi stared at the paper for longer than he should have. What in the world was he supposed to say? A small part of him whispered that he'd read enough Icha Icha to come up with something but Kakashi blushed beneath his mask. He couldn't talk to Rin like that, even if they were married. In the end, Kakashi hoped she could read the sincerity behind the two words he'd written. Folding it over and laying it on top of the strawberries, Kakashi left the apartment without a backward glance.
Hours later, sweat-soaked and exhausted, Kakashi slumped forward onto the grass by the river. Dusk was falling, the sky streaked crimson, and the coolness was a welcome change from the heat radiating off his body. Splashing water into his face, he exhaled audibly and looked at his work. Half a dozen targets were pierced by shuriken and kunai and several trees showed the mark of meeting his chidori. When he stood up, Kakashi realized his hands were shaking and his legs felt weak. It had been a long time since he pushed himself this hard in training but total exhaustion was as close to forgetfulness he could get.
As he moved toward the shadowy trees to retrieve his weapons, Kakashi scrubbed a hand through his hair. One of his first worries upon realizing he hadn't been part of ANBU in this world was that he wouldn't be as strong. Though he was exhausted, Kakashi couldn't find any discernable changes in his skill level though his stamina could use some work. Shaking his head, he reached to pull a deeply embedded kunai from a target when he heard the sound behind him.
"You're getting careless, Kakashi." At his name, the jonin spun, kunai still in hand. Before he could fully face the opposite direction, the prick of cold metal against his neck stopped his momentum. Obito's laughter hadn't changed at all.