-Well, I guess I might as well warn you now, seeing as I forgot to before... This is a Kaneki X Shiro fic, so if you're at all weirded out by that, I understand; just please move on without leaving a bad review. I respect opinions, but I don't to be insulted for mine.

If you do like this pairing, welcome to my new hell and I hope you enjoy the newest update of it :3-

3

By sheer luck, Shiro managed to make it back without being sick. The new clothes and shoes were left in a pile on the bed, as he dashed to the bathroom. He didn't think he was going to throw up again, but it was better to be safe. Now, he stood over the sink, hands braced on the porcelain, shoulders shaking with his breaths. A line of scarlet trailed down the side of his face, staining strands of his hair. Summoning his willpower (and a touch of the insanity that had taken hold after Jason), he'd smashed his head against the sink once. He wanted to see if it was enough to wake him up from this coma or hallucination or whatever the hell this was.

The regeneration took care of his head, but the dream didn't fade away. Which meant one thing.

"This is real," he whispered. His fingers trembled.

This was where the wrongness was from. Things like this didn't happen to people. Things like this weren't even heard of. "Why me?" he asked in a rasp. He wasn't expecting an answer.

It came anyway.

Poor thing, look at you. All alone again and no closer to figuring it out.

Shiro's head snapped up, grey eyes wide and wild. Before him, in the mirror, Rize grinned at him. Her dress was the color of dripping cream and her fingernails traced idle patterns across the glass. She slanted a cold look at him from over her glasses. "Get the hell away from me," he growled. He had accepted her. That didn't mean he had to talk to her like she still existed.

Oh my, so rude, she giggled, twirling a strand of dusky lavender hair around her finger. Not afraid of hurting my feelings anymore, Kaneki? Or should I call you "Shiro?" She tossed the name in his face like a bad joke.

"Shut up," he muttered.

You're so stubborn. You can't storm off, you know. I'm right here. At the word "here," she covered one eye and let the uncovered one turn, sclera black and pupil glinting crimson.

"You're not here," he hissed, feeling stupid for acknowledging a figment of his mind.

No, I suppose not. But I'm not there, either. I'm in between and I've found it's quite a lovely in between, attached to a halfbreed losing his mind. Her smirk was taunting, but he didn't bother to retaliate. Switching tactics, she tilted her head to one side. Do you want to know the best part of being dead but alive at the same time?

Her words sent shudders crawling down his back. "No."

Of course she told him anyway. When I talk to the stars, they talk back, she whispered, reveling in it, like it was a gift she wished to tease him with. And, darling, you should hear the things they say about you.

"Leave me alone," he snapped. He kept his eyes fixed on the sink in front of him, at the droplets of his blood gathered there. If he refused to look at her, he could pretend she wasn't there, in the mirror, in his ears, in a place beneath his ribs.

Then her voice changed. Do you know what today is?

"Why do you care?"

Do you know what today is?

"Why would I not know?" he asked heatedly, glaring at her now. He couldn't help it; he was confused and she was pissing him off.

Her expression didn't change from its sweet smile. Do you know what today is?

"Dammit, shut up!" he snapped and before he could stop it, he'd smashed his fist into the glass. Cracks spidered across Rize's face, marring her pretty features. Her broken smile faced him like a defaced painting. He was panting, bloodied knuckles sewing back together. As soon as she opened her mouth to ask again, he snarled, "it's the day you made my life hell!"

She exhaled shortly, a teacher pleased with a student's answer. And who did you meet today? she asked, quiet. The calm before storms.

"Hide," Shiro answered. "And me. The me from before—" He stopped. Let the lightning bolt hit him. Understanding dawned like sparks.

Rize winked. Why don't I tell him hi myself, hmm?

XxxxxxX

He was dressed in moments, in the sweatpants, blue tee, and a pair of plain black shoes. The mask was tucked into the back of his waistband, mostly unrecognizable to anyone looking. As he crossed the room to the door, he passed by the open doorway to the bathroom. Glass littered the floor, shards of ceiling reflected in them. He'd sent his kagune through Rize's face. He had to wait for his eye to turn back again before he stepped out.

Thank God he'd gotten a new shirt because this time, he'd ripped his kagune through the old one.

Emerging into sunlight was hard, especially since he could tell it was edging toward noon. He couldn't remember what time it had been, exactly, when he'd met Rize. But maybe that was okay. Maybe his presence here, now, meant that something about Kaneki's decision would change. Anything to give him more time.

It didn't take very long, wandering the streets again, to find Anteiku. But when he did find it, the little cafe tucked in among its neighbors, his heart jumped at the sight. He'd thought the only things to excite him now were chains breaking, blood spilling, his enemies falling under him. There was one more thing to add to that list now: the ding of the bell when he opened the door to Anteiku.

It smelled of coffee, human, ghouls, and home.

Immediately, he saw her. She was directly in front of him, taking the orders of a couple at a side table. The almost-blue ebony hair fell across her eye the way he remembered it and her voice still held that edge of a bite. Even in a cafe employee's uniform, the strength of a ghoul was scarcely hidden from him. Touka.

"Um, excuse me?" a snide voice asked, followed by an arm pushing at his back. Shiro jerked slightly, then mumbled an apology as he stepped to the side. A teenage boy moved past him, shooting an annoyed glance over his shoulder.

When Shiro glanced back toward Touka, a pair of dusky eyes were gazing back at him. Feeling dumb and rather strange to know that she didn't know him, he stuck his hands in his pockets. She glanced toward the boy who'd pushed him, then back at him, as if to say, you bothering him?

He shrugged back. Don't know, don't care.

Her narrowed eyes were the new question. He ducked his head a bit, hair hiding the side of his face from people on his left, and let his eye turn for a second. Touka's eyebrows rose and with a nod of understanding, she headed back to retrieve her customers' coffee. Briefly freed from his worry, Shiro grinned to himself, feeling a bit smug. He'd never been able to make his eye turn so fast before.

Suddenly, a blast of scent hit him so hard, the grin was wiped right off his face. He stiffed, shoulders tensed. He knew that scent. It wasn't just because he'd smelled it before. It was because it smelled like him.

He looked to his right, where it was coming from, and his stomach lurched. There she was. Sitting at her lonely table, with a book propped in her hands. Her dress was the same one she wore in his visions, though her hair was less wild. The sharpness of her had been toned down to softer curves in this light. This was the side of her that he'd fallen for. The side that he'd soon found out didn't even exist in the first place.

As though sensing his gaze, Rize's eyes flicked up. He saw it as soon as she started inhaling slowly through her nostrils; she was checking to see if this ivory-haired newcomer was a human or not. Her brow furrowed afterward, fingertips digging into the spine of her book. Shiro averted his eyes from her then. It was better to let her wonder why a ghoul smelled of human and her than to go over and explain. Besides, her confusion now was the closest he'd get to punishment for what she'd done to him.

He knew where he needed to go next. The table a little ways from hers was occupied by a laughing blonde and a poor boy who really needed to handle his blushing. Hide and Kaneki. Shiro started toward them, but not before the Rize of his mind got in one last taunt: isn't he cute when he blushes?

He is, Shiro thought, then nearly tripped over his own feet. He had just called himself cute. Well, he looked different now, but still.

He wished his snarky mind-Rize was a physical being right now because he wanted to punch her.

His timing couldn't have been more perfect. At that moment, Hide snickered a few last jokes, stood up, and gathered his things to leave. Adjusting the headphones around his neck, he began to turn away from the table. Shiro fumbled to scurry to the counter at the front of the cafe, hunching his back as he leaned against it. He didn't want Hide to see him here. That involved interaction that would waste time. He just wanted to get to Kaneki.

People at the counter beside him were starting to give him weird looks, but he didn't budge until he heard the door shut again. Deeming it safe to turn around, he headed back across the cafe again. Kaneki sat by himself now. He was pretending to read and sneaking glances toward Rize when he thought she wouldn't notice. Lovestruck moron. Just thinking about how blind he'd been gave Shiro the last push he needed to stop caring about scaring Kaneki.

He marched right over, took the seat across from him, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Hey," he greeted simply.

Kaneki lowered his book a little, puzzled at the sudden company. "Uh, hey," he ventured slowly. "You're Shiro, right? I think we met earlier."

"Yeah, we did." That was as much as he offered. He was talking to himself. Nothing had ever been more bizarre.

"Are you okay?" Kaneki asked, sensing something behind the shortness. "You look distracted."

Shiro bobbed his head in the direction of Rize. "You know that girl you're staring at?"

At once, Kaneki tipped his head back and groaned. "Is it that obvious?"

His ears were tinged pink. Shiro had to fight down a smile, then wondered why he'd even react that way. Propping an elbow on the table, he cracked his index finger to bring himself back to the seriousness of this. "She's a ghoul," he stated, keeping his voice lowered.

Kaneki's eyes widened, then narrowed in defense of his crush. "How do you know?" he demanded. "You met her before?"

Shiro wanted to say yes, but technically, in this timeline... "No," he answered. "But I've seen her. I wouldn't get involved with her, if I were you." How ironic.

Kaneki gazed at Rize through longing, saddened eyes. "Are you really sure?" The hope in his voice was nearly tangible and it hurt.

"I'm sure. Stay away from her."

"I...I dunno. She's so kind, to everyone."

"That's what she wants you to believe."

Now Kaneki was studying him, book forgotten on the tabletop. Shiro fought the urge to squirm under the stormy grey gaze. "Who are you?" he asked suddenly.

Shiro blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I barely know you and you expect me to believe you when you say someone's a ghoul," Kaneki replied. There wasn't even anger in his voice. He genuinely wanted to know why he should trust a stranger.

"So, get to know me," Shiro returned. He just needed Kaneki to stay here a little longer. If Rize left, then there was a chance that she'd stay away from him, after having lost her chance already. She'd probably go off looking for another easy meal.

Kaneki sat there thinking like Shiro had set up a particularly clever test for him to try and pass. "Do you like books?" he asked at last.

Shiro's eyebrows rose in puzzlement. "What?"

"I'm trying to get to know you."

"You can't just trust me and move on with your life?"

"That'd be boring, wouldn't it? Or do you just not like me?" The last question was accompanied by a face that resembled a kicked puppy.

Dear God. "Yes," Shiro sighed. "I like books. But I don't read much anymore."

Kaneki brightened, seeing that he had saved the conversation for now. "Okay. Why don't you read anymore?"

"...can't find anything good to read." It was a better answer than "I was mentally and physically tortured and reading about people's happiness makes me want to kill them."

"I can understand that," Kaneki said with a shrug. "So, um. Are you in college? You look about my age, so..."

Shiro sat for a long moment. There was really only one believable answer to go with here. "I dropped out." At the look of shock on Kaneki's face, he hurried on, "it was because of an...injury. Um, I don't have any family, so it was really hard to recover and manage schoolwork. But I'm looking for a job," he added quickly, not wanting to seem like a complete failure. Hell, he didn't even know what kind of life he was starting here in this complicated past.

"Oh." Kaneki's expression softened. "I'm sorry. What kind of injury was it? If you don't mind me asking."

Shiro considered the truth for a moment, fingers curling in his shirt over the scar tracing one side of his stomach. He didn't have to tell Kaneki the ghoul had been Rize. But then he remembered in a jolt that confessing meant also confessing about what he really was. He lowered his eyes. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"That's okay. It must've been hard, not having any family to help you."

"It was."

"Well...you have friends now, right? Hide and me." Kaneki smiled then, sunlight between clouds.

"Yeah," Shiro murmured. "I guess I do."

"So, um, what else do you like to—?"

Suddenly, a flash of long twilight hair whisked in the corner of Shiro's eye. He glanced to the right, glimpsed Rize walking purposefully toward them, and his heartbeat picked up. He reached across the table and grabbed Kaneki's hand. "We gotta go," he stated, and yanked the boy right out of his chair.

"W—what? Wait! Where are we going?" Kaneki stumbled along behind to keep up, as Shiro led the way briskly to the door.

"Away."

"Is it because of Rize?"

"Keep your voice down!" Shouldering the door open, Shiro emerged out into fading sunlight. Afternoon was dwindling by and there were several people passing by on their way home from work. Thinking fast, he hauled Kaneki away from the cafe and hurried down the sidewalk.

"Hold on, Shiro, you're breaking my arm!" Kaneki squeaked. He pulled away from Shiro's hold, but continued to walk alongside him. "What was that about anyway?"

"She was watching you," Shiro answered. "She was about to make a move to try and eat you. Probably by playing on your stupid crush."

"Hey!"

"It's true."

"Doesn't mean you have to call it stupid," Kaneki mumbled. Hands in his jacket pockets, he stole a glance up at Shiro. "And I'm still not sure that you know she's a ghoul."

He didn't have time for this. "Well, I'm sure." Tilting his head toward an alleyway between a flower shop and some other building, he started off the sidewalk. "C'mon. We'll cut through here in case she followed us out."

Kaneki's sigh echoed against the brick walls, but he trailed behind Shiro obediently. "Okay... I guess I'm following strangers into alleys now..."

"I'm not a stranger," Shiro pointed out.

"I've only known you for one day."

Halting, Shiro let out a deep breath before turning to face Kaneki. He crossed his arms sternly. "Listen. I know that you don't know me very well. But I know...Rize well enough to know what she is. And stranger or not, I'm trying to help you." He lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "So isn't that enough for now?"

Kaneki looked at him, gaze thoughtful, but gradually losing its skepticism. Finally, he gave a nod of agreement. "I guess you have a poin—"

The sickening noise of a blade through skin and organs, agony lancing up his body.

Kaneki's eyes widened in shocked horror, mouth open, but no noise coming out. Shiro's arms had uncrossed, but they were trembling in front of him. His fingers were spattered with scarlet drops. Frozen in place by the flames eating him up inside, he drew his eyes down to the sharpened tip leaking out of his stomach. It pulsed, rubies for scales and knives for sensation.

His ravaged mind thought dumbly, but that's my kagune.

When she spoke, her voice was in his mind and from behind him.

"Be careful. I don't want your blood all over my dessert."