Just letting you know right now, this will be mostly a dialogue between Sonic, and I on our drive to Calhoun, Georgia. From Indianapolis, the drive takes about a day, depending on when you leave. There is a large disclaimer on chapters one and two, of which I would like to add that the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the United States Army, the United States Army National Guard, the United States Navy, the United States Marine Corps, the United States Air Force, the Pentagon, the White House, the United States House of Representatives, the Internal Revenue Service, the United States Senate, the Federal Reserve Bank and their notes, the Interstate Highway System, and Air Force One are property of the United States Federal Government; Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, Pepsi, and Diet Pepsi are property of PepsiCo, and I have no connection whatsoever to the artists nor labels of any songs mentioned.

Also: the name and/or likeness of any person holding public office are in the public domain.

Right now, I'm going eighty miles an hour down Interstate 65, heading south towards Louisville, Kentucky. Sonic is riding shotgun, drinking the last pop that I had in the cooler, and we haven't even gone through Johnson County.

"Can we stop?"

"For what?"

"More pop."

"Why? You just trained a cube and a half of Code Red!"

"So I can drink it, DUH!"

"I haven't even had ONE!"

"That's cuz you didn't turn around and get one!"

"Yeah, because I've been doing this little activity called driving that commands most of my concentration."

"Then can we stop so I can piss?"

"I'll stop at a rest area."

"Why not a gas station?"

"Because most gas stations have indoor restrooms."

"So?"

"You're a strange creature that doesn't come from this planet. If anybody else sees you, we'll have to run from the feds!"

"What's so hard about that?"

"Oh, I dunno, the search dogs, the powerful cruisers, the helicopters, the cooperation of millions of law enforcement officers, AND access to the United States armed forces if necessary!"

"So the Army comes after us, I can take 'em!"

"You can take out our planet's best army?"

"Why not?"

"You'd probably be pressed to take the National Guard."

"Oh, come on! You don't think I'd be able to take on those bunch of wimps?"

"I don't think you'd be able to take on a single M1."

"A what?"

"An M1A1 Abrams tank."

"What's a tank?"

"It's a big vehicle with crawler treads, a swiveling cannon on top, and a machine gun on the side."

"Doesn't sound so tough."

"Wait till you see it."

"So can we stop so I can piss?"

"Yeah, but you'll have to do it in the woods. There's a remote exit coming up, and I'll just pull off a side street."

So I exit onto a street I've never heard of, drove a little ways, turned onto a small gravel road next to some woods, and pulled over to let Sonic out. I pull out my cell phone, hold it to my ear and act like I'm talking to somebody in case somebody comes by. Nobody does, Sonic gets back in, and I turn around and retrace my path back to 65, and continue on to Louisville.

"Don't you have a DVD player or sumthin'?" Sonic asks about an hour later.

"Actually…look in the glove compartment."

Sonic opens the glove compartment, and I already know what he's looking at. I built a portable Playstation Two and stuck it in there one time to show my friends, but never took it out. It's about the size of a slim PS2, but with grips on the side, d-pad and buttons on either side, shoulder buttons on the top edge, analog sticks towards the center, a strum and tucked whammy bar on top, an extendable guitar neck on the back that causes the LCD screen in the center to flip down so you can turn the unit around and see the notes looking down, plus it has the two controller ports, a USB hub, retractable controller and A/V cable, topped off with a few switches situated around the unit. Sonic extracts the unit and looks at it as though it were some sort of exotic puzzle, looking at it from all angles, trying to make sense of it.

"What IS this thing?" Sonic asked.

"It's a portable PS2," I reply

"How do you turn it on?"

"Ya see the red switch on top?"

"Yeah…"

"Flip that."

Sonic clicks a red rocker switch on top to the other side, and a red light turns on right next to another button. I know; I built this. "Now what?"

"There's a switch with a silver throw on the side."

"Okay…"

"Flip it."

Sonic throws the small toggle switch on the side and three lights come on under the screen.
"Now push the button right next to the red light."

Sonic pushes the button, and the PS2 startup animation displays on the screen, but with no sound.

"Does it have any sound?"

"Yeah… there's two black switches on the bottom"

"Okay…"

"Flip the one right next to the little wheel."

"There's no sound."

"Wait a minute," I instruct. I keep driving for about a minute and then I know when there's supposed to be sound.

"Rock Band?"

"Yep, now turn that wheel toward the outside until you hear something."

Sonic turns the volume wheel up until Highway Song by Deep Purple could be heard.

"Ya got a guitar in here?" Sonic asks, obviously wanting to use it to play the game.

"Yeah, there's a catch on the back."

Sonic pushes the catch on the right side to the right, and a guitar neck folds out and the screen flips down. Sonic turns the unit upside-down to see the screen.

"Dude! Howdjya get this?"

"I built it."

"Nice job!"

"If you want to sing and play at the same time, that rectangular thing is a microphone."

"Whoa… ya got a mini drum set as well?"

"Sure do, just dig a little deeper in the glove box."

"Nah, this will be fine for now."

Well, with Sonic now content, I focus more on passing a semi going 60. When you pass a truck, don't hang around! Those drivers have HUGE blind spots and there's a good possibility of a chunk of rubber flying through your windshield and taking off your head. So I pass going eighty. The next few hours are pretty boring, though Sonic is playing some good songs, on expert as far as the clicks on the frets and strum bar indicate. I finally drop the center console, open it up, and pull a pair of headphones out for Sonic to use. Sonic quickly finds the headphone jack and plugs it in, making sure to turn off the speakers. I flip on the radio to AM and find a station that one of my favorite "political" shows is on.

I hear that the Democratic House, Senate and empty suit (I'm referring of course, to Barack Hussein "man child" Obama) just passed the Fairness Doctrine, or the "Ultimate Patriotic Guaranteed Protection of First Amendment Rights to the Underprivileged" I think they called it. Everybody in Congress got deluged in mail and calls shouting out against it, but they ALL went ignored, and Nancy Pelosi basically summed it up saying that 'the American people don't know how to take care of themselves so we need to do it for them'. Oh well, lots of driving to do, and I do believe that I am low on the wonderful hydrocarbon elixir of commerce I call octane, but everybody else refers to as gasoline. I find an out-of-the-way exit with a gas station, and instruct Sonic to stay down as I drive to a pump, making sure the nozzle is on the left side while noting the pump number, exit the car, lock it, amble inside, and mosey over to the beverage section. I select a two 2-liter bottles: Mountain Dew Code Red for me, and Pepsi for Sonic. I don't know if he likes Pepsi or not, but the way he drank the cans of Code Red in the cooler, I'd better make that just three 2-liter bottles of Code Red, and I carry the bottles to the register.

"Is this it?" the cashier asks.

"Twenty dollars on pump four as well."

"That will be $25.16"

I reach into my wallet, slide out a Jackson, a Lincoln and a Washington and hand them over. The cashier hands back three quarters, a nickel, four pennies, and a receipt.

"Eighty-four cents is your change. Have a nice day"

I walk out to the car, unlock it, open the back door, toss the pop in the back, flip open the gas cap cover, unscrew the gas cap, take the nozzle off the stand, push the "87" button, shove the head of the nozzle into the tank, and squeeze the trigger for my five-and-a-half gallons of gas. Another car drives in, which I wouldn't normally give much of a crap about, but this would be the second car here, and as I look up, it's a white Crown Victoria with "Indiana State Police" emblazoned on it. Oookay… This is cause for a little alarm. I look back down at the nozzle, and up to the pump display. I still have ten bucks to go! I look back to the nozzle in the gas tank fill pipe, and look up to see that the cop pulled into the pump right across from me! I keep looking at the nozzle as the cop gets out. I look back to the pump display. Seven more bucks. Meanwhile, the cop, exiting from the driver-side door in a car that has the cap at the right side, which means he's looking right at the front right of my car. That's where Sonic is! Stay calm; it's amazing what people don't notice… Okay, the pump is slowing down, I look back to see that I have less than a dollar left, almost… there. I quickly place the nozzle in the rack, screw on the cap, close the cap cover door, get into my door, start the car, and ease on the gas to leave. I look in my rearview mirror to see the cop going inside, signal my turn, and return to 65 south.

"How the hell does that guy get off saying that guaranteeing healthcare for everybody is a bad idea?" Sonic asks me.

"Well…" I begin to explain, "it's literally putting your life in the hands of the government."

"So what's wrong with that?"

"This government has just spent almost a trillion of our tax dollars bailing out banks, that were all but forced at gunpoint, to give mortgages to people who have no hope of paying them back, AND guaranteeing them with OUR money."

"So, did these borrowers have much income?"

"No, and in some cases, these were illegal aliens."

"So what's wrong with people having low incomes getting mortgages?"

"Oh, I dunno… the massive number of defaults, banks possibly failing, the detrimental effect on our economy come to mind."

"So your government gave them money to cover those defaulted loans. What's wrong with that?"

"The government just printed the money, making it worth less, and about half of that was pork."

"What do pigs got to do with this?"

"The pigs in Congress diverted money to various groups, projects, research, and special interests, that are often worthless."

"Wait… Congress? How does this government work?"

"Oh… ya kinda need to that don't you? Well, there are three branches to the government: the legislative, executive, and judicial branches. The legislative branch, federally the House of Representatives, and the House of the Senate, draft and pass "bills" or proposals of ideas for laws. The House of Representatives is made up of representatives elected in each state, the number determined by the population of the state. The House of the Senate, or just the Senate, is made up senators elected from each state as well, but every state gets only two. The houses draft bills, debate the bills, add to and subtract from said bills, then vote on them. If the bill passes the House and Senate, it goes to the executive branch: the President. The President, elected by electors from each state, determined by the popular vote OF that state, can either sign the bill into law or veto the bill and send it back to Congress to perhaps with enough votes override the President's veto. The President can make treaties and is the commander-in-chief of the United States Army, Navy, Coast Guard, and Air Force, through which that also includes the United States Marine Corps, Army National Guard, and Air National Guard.

The judicial branch at the highest point is known as the United States Supreme Court, on which sit nine Justices who hold that position for life. Unlike representatives, senators, and the President, the Justices aren't elected, but rather appointed by the President and confirmed by Congress. Ya gettin' me?"

"Uhhh… kinda."

"Well, the judicial branch can overturn laws that are "unconstitutional", or those that don't fit within the document that's supposed to guide and determine what the federal government can and can not do, that we call the Constitution of the United States of America."

"What's in it?"

"There's a pocket copy of it where you got the PS2 with every amendment."

I hear the glove box open again, and I know that the pocket Constitution is probably on top. Looks like I bought me about a couple of hours of quiet time…

…And it did. Sonic was reading the three articles well through Kentucky; and then he got to the Bill of Rights.

(check the exact wording of the second amendment)

"In order to maintain a well-regulated militia, the right of citizens to bear arms shall not be infringed… what does that mean?" Sonic queried.

"Oh… the real reason that amendment is there is to give some teeth to the Bill of Rights."

"Whaddya mean?"

"If citizens have arms, and the government takes too much power and sidesteps or just outright abolishes the rights of citizens, they can get together and fight the government."

"Huh… that's interesting."

"Yep, should make the government think a little before they try to oppress us."

"Yeah… where I came from, there was this evil genius: Dr. Ivo Robotnik. We just call him "Eggman" since he's so fat. Well, he comes in with all his robots and takes over. Nobody could do much of anything to resist it."

"And THAT'S why we have it! There are people in this country that want to abolish it to do just that; and they're so damn close it's frightening."

"Well, I have heard that there's a big problem with crimes involving guns. Maybe a ban would curb it," Sonic argued.

"Oh, WHAT? You think that criminals would give up their guns?"

"Well, maybe if they're forced to."

"You're talking about people who have broken the law many times. For them, illegal firearm ownership would be no big deal. I think that they will be bolder actually, since they'll know that the average citizen can't own firearms."

"Maybe there wouldn't BE so much crime if people were properly educated and didn't HAVE to turn to crime to survive!"

"Wow… classic idiot move: change the subject when you're losing. Tell me: do you also support taking lots of money from successful people and just giving it away to people who didn't earn it?"

"That's a horrible way to describe the redistribution of wealth! I'd just help out those who are destitute using the resources of those who have more than they need."

"Two points: One, that job is best done by the Lord. He has MORE than enough resources to make sure we all have what we need. He even promises that to His people. But two: If YOU'RE doing that, then why would I work? If I'm busting my ass day in and day out to just put a little food on MY table for only ME, while another family with nine kids, whose parents make NO effort whatsoever to seek employment get plenty enough from you to have a 52 inch plasma screen HDTV and a brand-flippin-new Cadillac Escalade in the carport of their house, that you gave them, then what am I working for?"

"It would NOT be that extreme and you know it!"

"Okay, so say I'm almost literally working my ass off working 55-60 hours a week just to barely afford rent in a ramshackle, run-down tenement and barely have enough gas in the tank to get back and forth to work, and barely have enough to eat, and the guy next door to me doesn't work, and has as much if not just a little more than I have, then what's the point of working?"

"To have pride in contributing to society and producing something of value. Isn't that reward enough?"

"Uh… no. There's no logical reason for me to work if my situation would be identical if I didn't."

"You wouldn't actually quit your job and sponge off of the government would you?

"I wouldn't, because I have morals. I have scruples. I couldn't live with myself if I did. But there are plenty of people who would me MORE than excited to be able to sit on their fat asses all day and just take your handouts."

"Don't most people have the same values and morals that you do?"

"Oh, HELL no! I'm convinced that this country has gotten SO wicked that the Lord will judge this nation VERY harshly."

"Yeah… I'll get back to that "lord" stuff later, but I could make a system where assistance would only be given if someone could prove they're at least putting an honest effort into getting a job."

"But there would still be people that would suffer. What if there would be people who STILL refuse to work and demand a handout?"

"I dunno. I would have to work the system out where people who don't work still get just enough."

"So you don't want ANYBODY to fall into hardship?"

"Well, no! That's bad when anybody is deprived of basic needs."

"People need to suffer," I contend quite soberly, "unless people struggle a little, they'll get complacent and lazy. Even God knows that! Wow… did you just finish off eight liters of pop?"

"Gotta stop again?"

"Uhhh, yeah! I haven't even gotten a drop yet?"

I find another remote exit in the vast expanses of negative civilization that exist between Louisville and Nashville that happens to have a facility to dispense gasoline, snacks, cigarettes, smokeless tobacco, automotive products, and what I'm after, caffeinated beverages, in exchange for almost worthless Federal Reserve Notes, and exit Interstate 65 to obtain said variety of beverage at said facility.

"Sonic, just shut up and stay out of sight. I won't be long," I instruct as I park at the side of the mini-mart. I get out, lock the doors, go inside and quickly find the two-liter bottles Mountain Dew Code Red I'm after. They're two for three bucks: sweet! I take six to the counter.

"Whaddy'all need all that pop for?" the cashier asks.

"I got a long drive ahead a' me."

"Where ya goin, Florida?"

"Nah, just to Georgia."

(find out what Kentucky sales tax is)"That'll be six-thirty"

I hand the cashier a ten, and get three ones, two quarters, and two dimes back. I take all six bottles in both arms back out to the car, after unlocking it with the remote, of course, and set them in the backseat. I glance to the front, expecting to see Sonic slouched below the window, but all I see is the portable PS2. Oh crap: what happened now? I start to get out of the car when a door in front of me opens and Sonic walks out of the men's room.

"Whaddya doin?!?" I whisper at Sonic.

"I had to piss again."

"Get over here," I command as I grab Sonic's arm and bring him to the side of the car. "What part of–"

I see a white pickup park at the front, so I get my keys out and pretend to fumble around with them. The driver, a rough lookin' redneck with a full beard and Chevrolet hat, exits and goes inside.

"What part of 'stay out of sight' don't you understand?" I continued, when I thought I heard a whisper from the thick foliage towards the back of the building.

"Pssssst, Sonic! Over here!"

There's a reason Sonic is blue. I'm not saying Sonic is completely stupid, but I think he would let his emotions override his brain, however small it may be. And, someone else from Sonic's crew will be joining us on this drive to Calhoun to get Knuckles. Yes, I know this was a long chapter (3,280 words!), but, as with most decent stories, sections like this are needed to set up events later, and serve as a contrast to the tense, dramatic, and kinetic moments to come later.

Also, I have updated the summary. I think it's much better.