A/N: Hey everyone! Another chapter for you YAY! I just wanted to say thanks to all of those people who have added me to their alerts and fav's, it's awesome! And to the amazing people that have reviewed, you guys ROCK! I love reviews...anyway on with the show!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight!

Previously:

My thoughts of the lecturer's lateness were interrupted by the lecture himself appearing, coming through the door, apologizing profusely for being late, sighting some family emergency, but that all was well now...

Oh my GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gasped and gasped...gasping for desperately needed breath, my arms wrapped tighter and tighter around my body...it couldn't be...

I...

can't...

handle this... I screamed in my head!

...It was him!

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Breathe ...

It's...it's...its Edward!

He's the lecturer!

Oh this keeps getting better and better! A new beginning YEAH RIGHT! More like back to mental breakdown land. My arms were instinctively wrapped around me so tight it was not helping my gasps for breath; I had to mentally yell at my arms to loosen themselves.

He was as beautiful and as perfect as ever, he hadn't changed at all, his hair, his skin, his ...I was going to say his eyes but he hasn't looked up at me yet, surely Alice would be mentally screaming at him that I was here. Then I thought maybe she's already told him and that's why he's ignoring me, because surely my scent alone would be enough to tip him off, but maybe it wasn't as strong to him as he let on, he's lied to me before about loving me, maybe he had lied about this too. I thought further maybe I was the reason why he was late to class, perhaps Alice had tipped him off about me and he had just been contemplating not showing up to the class at all and face the prospect of having to see me. Then I thought that it was more likely that he would have forgotten all about me when he left and that there really was a family emergency and that he just didn't really care that I was here in his class. God, I don't know what to think anymore! My thoughts were going around and around in my head, I had to calm down, people around me were giving me funny looks because of my breathing difficulties and I mentally begged myself to calm down and thought if he was ignoring me, then I could ignore him too.

Edward made his way to the lecturer's desk in the middle of the room and then set up his notes and a copy of the text we were study for the week, Pride & Prejudice, just looking at it made me smile and feel instantly calmer, the world of literature was my sanctuary, so much safer than real life, which for me, was full of pain and hurt. Edward then, as this was the first class for the semester, began to take a roll call for the class. I mentally zoned out until I heard "...Swan" and instantly snapped my head to look at him "Is there an Aaron Swan" he said again, and I calmed myself, it wasn't me, but I knew I would be next, he was going to have to say my name at least, he couldn't ignore that.

Then "Bel..." my eyes snapped again to look at him, hearing him start to say my name and our eyes met, his eyes were more beautiful than ever, the golden topaz I loved and saw in my dreams every night was there, but these eyes also looked to filled with pain when they clashed with mine across the room. We stared at each other for what seemed minutes, but were only a few seconds, he's eyes then flinched like someone had yelled to catch his attention; I instantly thought Alice must have told him to snap out of it. He then began again "Bel..." but stopped when he saw the pain and anger quickly appear in my eyes and instead said quietly "Isabella Swan". I hesitated; I struggled to find my voice and gingerly eventually managed to croak out a faint "yes", quickly averting my eyes from his to stare out the window. He paused for a few more seconds and then slowly continued on with the role and the rest of the class. While I mentally retreated once again into my cracked and broken shell, only quickly emerging every now and again to snatch glimpses of my love when he was facing the other side of the room, storing them away for later when they wouldn't be so painful and to be something to keep for myself when he leaves again.

Before I knew it the people in the classroom were packing up their belongings and starting to leave the room, class had finished, but it felt to me like only minutes had passed. I guess I was kind of used to this, back in Forks, just after he... after he left me; I used to lose whole hours, even days when I was inside my shell. I continued to just sit in my chair, staring out the window, while the classroom emptied and became silent. I then slowly turned my attention back to the room and noticed that Alice was sitting perfectly still in her chair across from me, only her eyes moving, flickering back and forth between me and him. I bet she wished that Jasper was next to her, so he could tell her how I was feeling, how I was reacting. Well, thank God he's not I thought, I didn't want them to know, and I definitely didn't want Edward to know I still loved him; they would laugh at me, poor Bella, still in love with Edward after all this time.

I turned to look at him then, he was standing perfectly still behind the lecturer's desk, the look of pain still in his eyes and his brows were knitted together in what looked like uncertainty or confusion, and I thought why does he look like he's in pain...it was his decision...then I thought well maybe it's just the idea of seeing me again, he probably doesn't want to have to talk me. Yeah that's it, the realisation quickly made me snap out of my stupor and I quickly grabbed my things and got up from my seat and ran out of the classroom as fast as I could, quickly noting two things at once, Edward tense and take a single step towards me, his eyes flashing with pain across them, and then Alice finally speaking quietly "Edward no...let her go".

I didn't stop running until I had reached my favourite corner, or more accurately, hiding spot in the back corner of the top floor of the library. I sat on the floor hidden between the musty book stacks and caught my breath, what is going on...what the hell do I do! Arghh I screamed internally, I can't handle this. I tried to distract myself, thinking how amazing it actually was that I didn't trip or fall over a single thing on my way here, which is remarkable considering how upset I was. I was quite proud of myself; maybe all I needed to stop myself from tripping over was to be an emotionally fraught wreck! This made me smirk and a slight laugh escaped my throat.

Okay...okay...what to do...

...I'll just withdraw from the class! Yes, I can do this subject next semester; surely he won't want to hang around near me for another semester. Yes, I'll try and swap into Contemporary literature; I was going to do it next semester anyway, so it will all work out in the end, I felt instantly better after having made my decision. I wouldn't have to see him then, save him the trouble of having to talk to me. I reached into my bag from my enrolment details and noted that if I wanted to change subjects I would have to see my subject coordinator who would be in room 3.16 of the lecturer's hall.

Well I thought, getting up off the floor feeling calmer already, room 3.16 it is...

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