Summary: Sirius death brings to Harry desires that he never thought to have before, desires to hurt, abuse, kill… For Harry learns to control his sudden desire to hurt those outsiders, he must change his life, but will he manage to do it?
Spoilers: with you don't know the books from HP, go read them! And read at least until the 5 book: HP and the Order of the Phoenix
Pairing/s: no one for know, but when it appear I immediately will post it
Disclaimer: I have no right to any character, they belong to JK Rowling
Warnings in this chapter: Time-travel fic
-/-
"Talking"
'Thinking'
-Parseltongue-
Dream / Memory
Chapter III
-Going to Hogwarts-
Regulus Black was a simple wizard. Dressed in casual clothes, taking into account the time, although those pants, shirt and jacket seemed to have been taken from a picture of a king. His black hair fell across his shoulders, his brown eyes were always alive with a sparkle and his lips with a huge smile. Despite all this, despite being rich but trying to behave like a poor man, he lived in a house, better, in a mansion.
A mansion on which the ground floor opened with an entry hall, that led to a huge hallway, on one side was a huge salon where balls were held for guests and parties, on the other side were several doors, one led into an office, one for a bathroom, which was simple yet refined, another door let to a small room where was a few couches, chairs, closets with books and a fireplace, the last door led to two staircases, one up and one down. By going down the stairs would give to another hallway smaller than the previous: a door on the right, another on the left and another on the front. On the right was the kitchen, off the left a small laboratory that had since potions to black objects. On the front led to a maze, if the person knew where to go could led to a dungeon, where people would be caught, or other secret rooms, the maze was such that one could lose there without chance to escape.
On the first floor was another hallway, on the left side lay a massive library, on the right a door led to the dining room with a table almost as large as the tables of Hogwarts. The opposite side of the hallway from the stairs that led to the first floor, there was another set of stairs this time to the second floor, where there were several doors, on another hallway, on both sides that led to bedrooms and which in turn had their own bathroom. Regulus's bedroom was one that was down the hall, which was just above the entry hall.
Besides the building itself, there were still miles and miles of garden, most of it forest.
Harry was surprised so much refinement, but then pondered in his supposed grandfather. Grandfather Sirius had probably commanded to do the mansion for his son, it was obvious he had ordered to do the best, nothing less than the best.
They were currently in the dining room, Regulus sitting in the middle of the table with Harry at his side. It was a simple and light meal.
"I'm sorry for having left you with my sister for a whole day alone. I work full time in the ministry, I can't leave at the time that I want to."
"It doesn't matter, Regulus."
Regulus turned his face and stared at Harry. Harry remained expressionless, his eyes caught in the fork that was playing with the pasta.
"What clothes are these? It seems that you steal my dear sister wardrobe…"
Harry grimaced and glanced down at his new clothes. He had agreed to go shopping with Miss Lycoris, who was his aunt and Regulus's sister. He had never weighted that would stick a whole day in store to experiment a variety of tissues of various colours and shapes, but that was what happened, fortunately she just forced him to choose some suits the rest had been the colours he wanted and in the shape he wanted. Even so she always had the final sentence in the matter. He had a wardrobe full of clothes in colours of red, brown and gold, on that aunt Lycoris had not said anything, but in the rest had since muggle clothes to clothes taken from a painting of the times of kings. Harry felt uncomfortable in the clothes, but accepted them knowing that the time was different. At the moment, Harry was dressed in red-brown pants, white shirt and a dark brown jacket that buttoned in front with 5 gold buttons and then fall behind his back until the knees
"Probably I shouldn't have let her help me fill the wardrobe."
Regulus chuckled. "Probably not." Agreed. "But I would like to see you trying to deny her the pleasure of buying new clothes. My father had to tell her no because there was no room in the closets at home for more clothes, even those who weren't hers." Here he kept quiet thoughtful. "Maybe I should talk to her, or she will come every day pick you up to buy new clothes." Harry looked quickly to Regulus, expressionless, but inside with fear of the idea. "She already know my measures, many times I need new clothes and I don't have time to go shopping, she even buying so much that I would never use, she knows very well my style of clothes and accepts it and she attempts to buy by that style. You are an innovation for her, a style she is still learning, but should not take long for her to realize and you start to need a bigger closet."
"I'll try not to forget to change my style every two days."
"That would be funny to see… How would it be to see you dressed all in black? Or maybe all in white…? I'm sure that dear Lucretia would love anyone…"
Harry tensed, looking back at the plate. Regulus chuckled.
Lucretia was the eldest daughter of Arcturus, Regulus's older brother, would enter the third year, which supposedly gave her the same age as Harry. At the moment she greeted Harry with a short body inclination had been possible to see her interest in Harry. Lucretia was pretty, Harry wouldn't deny that but... she was his cousin. He would never have anything with her, by Merlin's beard.
-/-
September first. Harry took breakfast in silence with Regulus, though Regulus was always willing to talk and laugh with Harry, today he was in a dreadful mood Harry felt curious about the reason for the issue and that was when his eyes landed on newspaper in front of him, seeing a photo from Alphard that was blank stare back at him.
"So the Daily Prophet found that you have harboured me as my mentor?
Regulus looked at Harry, silent for a moment, and, finally, growled looking at the newspaper again.
"They are passing the subject as if you were my child from one occasion that I had no knowledge until the death of your mother."
Harry laughed, a cold and callous laughter, but he laughed. Regulus shuddered, losing the rage in the face, earning fear. Harry pondered a bit on how his laugh sounded like Voldemort's, but chose to leave the matter there. He was at this time to control himself, to control his hate, his anger, his desire to hurt, cause pain, to kill…
Harry shook his head to clear the thoughts and turned to look at Regulus.
"Let them say what they want. I'm already accustomed to being the target of investigation from all. With my parents dead, I living with muggles uncles and then I live with a godfather a little… unusual, has this effect."
Regulus made an effort to smile. Harry knew he liked every time Harry spoke of his godfather. Harry avoided the subject but accepted it, he knew he had a supposedly live with his godfather that he had never seen, but because Sirius had escaped from prison was not exactly the ideal godfather that everyone wanted what helped to give the image of having a reckless godfather.
"I'm glad that you can speak so lightly of Christian. Can't be easy after all what happened."
Harry kept his gaze stuck at the pancakes in front of him. 'Christian? That must be the name of my alleged godfather.'
Harry heard the sound of the chair dragging, but did not raise his head. A hand landed on his shoulder.
"I will not come for lunch, but I'll try to arrive on time for we went to Hogwarts before dinner. Don't get lost in the maze again." There was a giggle in that order, as if he knew that it was just what Harry would do, soon as he left. "Have your bag packed with the suits to the school for when I arrive we leave."
"I don't have any school's uniforms…" Harry pondered a bit about it and decided to add. "Nor wand. The one I have is right handed and I can't use the right hand anymore."
Regulus immediately grabbed the right arm from Harry, which as reaction gripped Regulus's wrist. A reaction that Harry had noticed that he was winning every time he used the right arm was impossible for him to can't hurt someone or break something. Since he had made that Cruciatus curse things were getting worse.
"Black magic… You used black magic, but it remained stuck in your arm…" Regulus mumbled, thoughtful. "You're right, you need a wand Alph… your right arm is forbidden to do spells or simple moves. Although if you want to learn dark spells or pick up dark objects I would advise you to use your right hand, it will earn a tremendous ability to that side. Also for hurting for what I feel."
"Forgive me." Harry tried to release the wrist and when he finally succeeded, Regulus released him back letting Harry's arm go back down.
"Don't ask, I know that's not your fault, boy. It's normal that you have used the hex to attack the person who killed Christian and Mr. and Mrs. White. Although you have used an unforgivable hex amaze me, I thought you being the style of person who doesn't lift a feather to hurt people."
"I only do it if it is really necessary, or when I'm unnerved. I had never used the hex before and I don't intend to use it again…" 'Except to kill her.' Harry concealed the last part, but by the look of Regulus, he realized.
"Jean!"
CRAQUE!
Harry looked at the elf who bowed until the nose touch the ground, before Regulus.
"Yes, master Regulus."
"When master Alphard finish his breakfast and just when he finish it, take him to King's Cross. Make sure that you leave him in the station 9 and ¾ before you leave him and come back." Regulus turned back to Harry. "My brother Arctus should be there with Lycoris and Lucretia, probably my cousin Dorea is also there, as Walburga. When you get there, you'll approach them and warn of the purchases that they "forgot" to do."
Harry nodded and turned to his breakfast while listening to Regulus to leave. The house-elf remained in the room next to Harry.
"Master Alphard should dress best clothes before leaving, Mr. Arcturus dislike muggle clothes."
"Okay, thank you Jean."
-/-
King's Cross had not changed much over the years, to Harry dismay. He entered the station 9 and ¾ and only then the elf left. He looked at the huge clock, there was still a little to the time of departure. He looked around and didn't saw his aunt and uncle, so he went to a wall to which he leaned against, with his hands in his pockets facing the train in front of one of the gates.
A little boy, black hair, was there trying to pull his trunk inside the train. Finally the boy sighed in anguish, while a group of boys running past him, gave him a push that sent him to the ground. The boy was with muggle clothes and Harry was reviewed in that boy with second-hand clothes too big for him. Harry was about to straighten up, taking his hands out from the pockets, to help when the boy looked at him.
The grey eyes held Harry in green, the look did not show the hatred that should be feeling for having been pushed to the ground, but curiosity. Harry stood still looking at the boy expressionless, unable to believe.
There, before him, was Tom Marvolo Riddle, the future world horror. Harry took his right hand to his pocket and remembered what Bellatrix said, he had to wish it, he had to want it to achieve it…
He wanted to cause pain, to hear Tom screaming, hear him plead, see him squirm at the floor at his feet. He wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt him.
Several thoughts of torture began to appear in Harry's mind, while a frightened look appeared in the boy's face, but instead of stopping Harry won a chilly smile in the corner of his mouth. He would make him pay for what he did to his parents, to him and many others. Instead of blood, Harry had hate running in his veins, but it didn't matter, none of that mattered. What mattered was the boy before him that Harry was about to kill.
'How do you say it? Avada… Kedavra.'
Harry closed his eyes feeling his right hand from grab the wand, he could feel his hatred, his desire to kill, a happiness for another's pain, one happiness that made his body shake. He opened his eyes, split from the wall where he was leaning, he began drawing his wand and walked towards the boy still on the ground who looked at him with fear. What did the desire to kill increase, Harry was delighted with that fearful look in the future Dark Lord. Killing him would be a pleasure that he would not hold.
The wand was already half way when he heard:
"ALPHARD!"
Harry stopped, he was halfway to the boy, returned to get the wand into the pocket and glanced expressionless who dared to interrupt his thinking to kill Him. Before Harry could react someone was before him showing to him a hand. Harry looked at the hand for a moment and then to the girl and finally recognized her. He took the hand without taking his eyes from hers and kissed her hand bowing a little on the act.
"Cousin Lucretia, charming as always."
This comment made her blush. "Alphard, if I knew you would come with us I would have asked my father for we to go get you home."
Harry turned his gaze from her, to the boy on the floor. "I wasn't coming, but I have to ask aunt Lycoris for her to come with me to buy the material that we didn't buy and that I require for school."
Lucretia extended soon her arm to Harry grab while they went to they uncles. Harry shook his head. "Go walking, there is something I have to do first."
Her face was disappointed for a moment, but soon appeared the pure-blood mask that she had gained from her parents and uncles and she nodded grabbing the dress bowing and walked away back to where the others were.
Harry did not bother to look after her, he turned to look at to the boy expressionless. He shivered. Harry approached and grabbing his arm with his left hand pulled him up, then grabbed the trunk and went inside the train, the boy ran after him to follow him. Neither spoke. Seeing one empty carriage, Harry entered and he put the trunk in the place of the bags over the heads and waved the boy to sit, he rushed to obey. Harry kept quiet staring at him.
"Mudblood." And Harry turned around and left. The boy called him but Harry didn't answer, he didn't know why he had done it, why he had tried to kill him, why he almost let his desires get the better of him, why he had helped him to carry the trunk and why he had insulted him. But one thing was certain. He would make the boy's life a living hell.
He approached his uncle Arcturus, who looked at him smiling. The man dressed in black clothes, as the day that Harry had first seen him, as the one's grandfather Sirius wore.
"Alphard."
"Uncle Arcturus."
Aunt Lycoris wasn't so formal, she approached Harry and hugged him.
"I told you those clothes would suit you perfectly. Although if they were green instead red would be better."
"Aunt Lycoris…" Harry was not sure how to reply her. He knew that at that time physical contact was very limited, so the hysterical attacks of aunt to hug him for anything and everything was strange and confusing to him for not knowing how to react. "I can't… breathe…"
Aunt Lycoris departed right away letting Harry catch his breath. Harry noticed the others. The youngest, Harry had already meet, was his cousin Orion, the son of Arcturus and the younger brother of Lucretia. The boy held out his hand and squeezed Harry's with a formidable force for a boy of 9 years.
"Cousin."
Harry merely nod in response and stared at the others, one was a girl from her 13 years that Harry suspected to be cousin Walburga, the daughter of Regulus's cousin. She approached and bowed in the same way that her cousin Lucretia had done previously.
"Cousin Alphard, I have heard a lot about you."
Harry grabbed her hand and kissed it without taking his eyes of her, just as he did before.
"Enchanted Walburga."
She smiled and Harry turned to the third person, a woman, in her 17 years old, smiled at him. Harry approached and kissed her hand the same way. Her eyes were hazel-coloured which made Harry feel his stomach turn.
"Dorea Black."
"Alphard White."
She smiled and taking a hand in her skirt bent down in a bow, leaning her head lightly. Arcturus approached landing a hand on Harry's shoulder, which looked at his uncle.
"My cousin Dorea was the last two years at home in bed, will return this year at school. If you need something, some problem with schoolmates just talk to her that she helps you, her and your two cousins as well." Harry nodded.
Arcturus looked at the clock and then to the three girls. The three bow their heads and, turning, moved away. The trunks of them weren't seen but Harry suspected that they find themselves shrunken inside the pockets of the girls.
"Alphard, you have not told me why you came to see the train leave."
Harry looked at his uncle and then to his aunt. "I need to buy my school uniform, what means, three work black robes, a pointed black hat, a pair of dragon leather gloves, a black winter cloak, I also need a new wand, a cauldron, a set of glass phials, a telescope set and a brass scales." said. Harry remembering the list entirely in his head while saying aloud to his aunt.
The aunt smiled, delighted by the idea of shopping.
"What are you? A walking book?"
Harry looked at his cousin, Orion, who looked at him with his brow furrowed. "No, my dear cousin, just have a good memory."
"Lycoris, we just buying things that it's really necessary, no extra clothes!" Arcturus ordered, what did his sister pout in the corner of her mouth.
"And a broom? He is the third year, he can bring his own broom." She said, winning immediately a light in her eyes in anticipation.
Arcturus looked at Harry sighing, as the train left. "You know how to fly?"
"I don't need a broom, I don't intend to join the Quidditch team."
"You know how to fly?"
"I know" Harry replied, not liking where the conversation was heading.
"You enjoy fly?"
"Yes."
"Then it is settled. Arctus, we'll buy him the best broom at the time."
"I should have said no…" Harry mumbled, only his uncle and cousin have heard it.
"What did you say dear?"
"I can't wait aunt."
Her eyes lit up and began to pull them out to a place where they could materialize and so go to Diagon Alley.
-/-
Dorea sat in a compartment with her nieces, where already was a boy. He looked at her and smiled lightly. Dorea smiled back and sat before him.
While her nieces chattered about Alphard, Dorea tried to avoid thinking about him. The boy was an angel living, that was true, but the probability that her parents really consider join her with him was almost nil.
"My name is Dorea Black, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"Nice to meet you Miss Dorea, my name is Tom Riddle."
"First year?" the boy nodded. "Don't worry, you'll love it."
The boy smile back.
"…and those green eyes? They seem like emeralds…"
Yes, it was true, Alphard eyes were emeralds and though he dressed like a true Gryffindor, Dorea knew that even if he went to Gryffindor all would drop at his feet, Slytherin inclusive.
"Sorry… but the Miss know Mr. Alphard?"
Dorea looked at Riddle startled and then to her nieces. They had not even noticed the question continuing to gossip about the cousin. Dorea turned to look at Riddle.
"He's my cousin. How do you know him?"
The boy seemed to ponder the matter, looking out the window to the place where was Alphard and Dorea cousins . "He… he helped me carry my trunk inside. He called me a name, but I don't know what it means."
Dorea looked at her nieces making sure that they were too entertained and looked outside to her cousin.
"What my cousin said?"
"Mud… Mudblood…" said the boy, his black eyes stuck outside on the Alphard.
'Mudblood? Why would Alphard call him that? Unless the boy is…'
"Your parents…"
"I'm an orphan, my mother gave me birth in an orphanage non-magical."
"Muggle." He looked at her, confused. "It's the name of who can't do magic. And Mudblood is what is called the children of muggles. The pure blood, or those born from magic, avoid muggles children because they are unclean and should not exist."
"The Miss believe in that?"
Dorea fell silent as the train left, pondering the subject. "No, I don't believe, there are muggle children who are stronger than many pure bloods. This does not mean that I don't hate muggles. I just don't believe that their children should be discriminated because they are their children."
The boy nodded, looking away from the window to her and smiling at her. It was a smile that comforted her inside and would made her agree with everything the boy said.
"He looked at me as if he hated me."
"He was raised by muggles as a child, his parents were killed by a dark wizard so he was sent to the only living relatives, who hate magic. At 10 he went to live with his godfather and since then has lived among magic. His coldness and meaninglessness is due to the way he was treated as a child by his uncles and because the dark wizard attacked his parents when he was young and his godfather this summer. He went through a lot for a young man who has just entered his adolescence. He doesn't hate you, he just learned that if he likes something he will lose it, so it is better not to. So if he lose it…"
"He doesn't feel the lack. I understand, thank you Miss."
Dorea smiled and the boy smiled back.
"Miss… you can hear the mind of another person?"
"If you use a spell called Legilimency, is an advanced spell that is not taught in school and that not everyone learns." Dorea surprised by the question, the boy merely nodded and looked out the window thoughtful.
-/-
Harry looked at the clock that was in the small room on ground floor, while waiting for his uncle. The train has already arrived at Hogwarts and should be half the selection if not at the end of it. Regulus was usually late but not that late.
The trunk was at his side ready to go.
CRAQUE
Harry stood up and put his head out of the room into the hallway, Regulus was approaching at huge strides.
"I apologize, there was a raid today and they filled my apartment with black objects, and you know how I am, I don't stop until I'm finish."
"No problem." Harry picked up the suitcase, Regulus snatched a book and, before he extend it to Harry, says:
"Alphard, don't forget what we talked about yesterday."
"Any team is good, except Gryffindor if I am to be chosen to be in Gryffindor then ask the hat to get me in Hufflepuff. I remember Regulus."
Regulus smiled and touched Harry, as the book was a portkey, they were transported to Hogwarts entry. They entered without any problems and headed to the castle before them. Harry took a deep breath, knowing he would have to face Tom without killing or cursing him.
"I almost lost it this morning." Regulus looked at Harry confused. "A boy was looking at me and I… I almost…"
Harry closed his right fist screwing his nails on the skin. Regulus noticed and smiled.
"Then I'll ask Professor Slughorn to make you a potion that it will help you control the lack of control of your arm."
Harry nodded, relieved by the idea, but without showing at the face. As they went inside the gates, he returned to relieve his hand and left the trunk next to many others. Regulus smiled.
"I always wanted to do this," he went to the saloon doors and with Harry at his side, he used a spell wandless and voiceless and the door wide opened.
The saloon fell silent and looked at them. Regulus continued to smile approaching the staff table with Harry at his side.
"Professor Dippet."
Dippet, the wizard who was in the director's chair stood. "Regulus, my boy, you're late."
"I apologize professor, but you know how it is… my colleagues decided to fill my office full with various dark artefacts and I couldn't stop until they had all been seen."
Harry's gaze locked itself in the Slytherin table in the place where Tom stood. He was looking at him, smiling at him.
'Why is he smiling at me? I want to kill him.'
Tom lost his smile and looked expressionless at the plate, Harry avoided at all costs the grin and looked forward, he and Regulus stopped before the steps, which should have place the hat.
Dumbledore approached with the hat and the bench in hand, smiling at Harry.
"Welcome to Hogwarts, Mr. Black."
"White!" Harry's voice silenced all whispers that had begun when Regulus revealed his profession.
Dumbledore placed the bench keeping the smile. "Well, Mr. White, please feel free to sit to be chosen for your team."
Harry climbed the stairs and sat on the bench and then Dumbledore put the hat.
'Hmm…' began the voice in his ear. 'Difficult, very difficult.'
Harry did not let him continue and rushed to think about the conversation he had with Regulus the day before. The hat was temporarily shut.
'Hufflepuff huh? Yes, you value your friends and would make a good Hufflepuff, no doubt about it. Also would make a good Ravenclaw, with your intelligence. But…' "SLYTHERIN!"
The Slytherin table erupted in applause, Harry refrained himself to show emotions, for he hated the idea of being a Slytherin. He got up, took off the hat and handed it to Dumbledore quietly. Only then he gave a look at Regulus, who was clapping with the rest of the Slytherin.
Regulus looked again at the stuff table. "I suppose that I and Alph are welcome to join the tables to eat? As the Director can imagine we are starving."
The Headmaster got choked "No… no, of course Regulus… Alphard, please feel free to sit with your colleagues. Regulus I guess the place next to Horace is empty. If you please…"
Regulus looked at the place and waved. Then he looked at Harry.
"Control yourself boy, try not to kill anyone in my absence."
"Don't worry Regulus. I will confine myself to hex black curses that will torture slowly and painfully." while his voice and face was expressionless, Harry hoped that Regulus realized he was being ironic.
"That's my boy." Regulus laughed, with his laugh that was like a bark and squeezed Harry's shoulder before heading to the teacher's table.
Harry went to the Slytherin table. They were all staring at him silently, or to Regulus. He approached the place where was Tom, who was the one who woke up and rushed to open a place for him to sit. Harry pondered declines the post. But finally accepted and sit beside the boy.
He looked at the the staff table, already seated, and saw Regulus beside a professor. Dumbledore, who had the same amount of hair and beard in the future, although red hair, stood in the same place, grabbing the bench the hat. All professors were staring at him.
"I was joking."
At this time, teachers seem to wake up and look away, Dumbledore was storing the bench and the selector hat and Dippet rose:
"Keep up the meal!"
Harry looked at the lot of different foods in front of him.
"Hi, I'm..."
"Tom Marvolo Riddle, I know." Harry did not merely look at the boy at his side that had hurried to arrange a plate, cutlery and a cup. Harry poured himself and began to eat.
"Do you prefer Alphard or White?"
Harry looked at the boy, he was smiling at him, but the smile was notoriously false.
"Zé!"
So Tom finally appeared. Next chapter will be the first night of Harry at Hogwarts and the discovery of a detail about Tom that will have to make him control better than before.
As Hedwig was back in the future, I would like make a new familiar to Harry, the proposals are: snake (Nagini as a baby), dog, cat, mouse, frog, another (please help me choose)
Review please, I like a lot of favourites and alerts but I like even more reviews
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