This chapter uses the song 'Heroes' by David Bowie
Chapter 3: Fallen Angel
Nick's eyes went wide with shock.
"How… how did you get that?"
Judy pushed the picture closer, the tear-stained memory now touching his muzzle.
"Please, Nick. Just answer my question. Who is this?" Her noise twitched, her chest heaving as she began to sob heavier. Her ears had fallen limp.
Avoiding the interrogation, Nick slipped into his right pocket and felt around. Nothing.
"Shit, it must have slipped out of my pocket."
Nick turned back to Judy, her heartbroken lavender eyes overflowing with tears.
"I'm begging you, Nick… just… please tell me who this is."
"Carrots… why are you making such a big deal out of this?"
Judy's mouth fell open, but no air escaped. Her sobbing ceased momentarily, only to soon come back tenfold. Her flannel shirt now looked as if she had run through a sprinkler. With only final croaking breath, she dropped the photo and ran.
"Carrots, wait!" Nick was soon to follow, but Judy had already gained a substantial lead in the few seconds before Nick decided to follow suit. As he ran, he saw her wiping tears away with the sleeve of her flannel shirt.
"Damn it, please stop running and just tell me what's wrong!" Nick had finally caught up, grabbing hold of her arm. Her sleeve was soaking wet.
"Just… just let me go…" Judy let out between sobs. She strained to break free of his grasp, but to no avail. Continuing to wipe her eyes, Judy turned to him and choked on her words as she finally lost all control of herself. She now cried out, letting all her emotions escape in a violent storm of sobs and painful moans.
"Carrots…" She looked back away.
"…Carrots… Judy! Listen to me!" That got her attention.
Nick rarely used her real name. The only time he refrained from using his childish nicknames was to fully grab her attention. Once again, it worked.
"…As… as long as you listen to me first…" Her tear flow had decreased in quantity, but was still far from being a trickle.
Nick pulled her down, sitting her next to him on the grass. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, her head now resting on his chest. "Alright Judy, I'll hear you out." Any old sense of the former conman or jokester was gone from his expression. It had been replaced with one of complete understanding, one of openness and caring.
"I want to know who was in that picture with you."
"I honestly don't see why it means so much to you."
Judy looked up at him, her tears beginning to increase in strength once more.
"Alright, alright. You bunnies, always so emotional." Nick considered letting a bit of his con grin creep its way to his face, but immediately imagined the consequences.
"If it really means that much to you, she's my sister."
For the first time since Judy ran from the tree, the waterworks fully ceased. She wiped the remnants with her sleeve, hoping to not have to use it again.
"Your… your sister?"
With bloodshot eyes, she glanced back up at Nick. It was now his turn to let a few tears out.
"Nick…" Judy almost brought up the incident of her home invasion earlier that night since this moment was almost the exact same; watching Nick's composure crumble before her. Almost immediately, she decided now was not the appropriate time to reveal that information.
"Nick… I… I've never seen you this upset, or upset at all." Being partners for just three months, Judy had never been given the opportunity to catch even the slightest glimpse into Nick's emotions. Suddenly, that great wall of strength and indestructible security came tumbling down.
"I… I miss her, Judy" he let out between deep breaths. "I've tried to push away the guilt, but… it just managed to put me in a stranglehold again." His head was turned from her, his ears lying flat against the back of head. It was one thing for Judy to see him shed a few tears, but it was another for her to see the deep cutting pain that had reopened an unhealed wound. He couldn't let her see the heartbreak emitting from his eyes.
"The guilt? Nick, what happened to her?" Judy put her paw on his thigh, trying her best to be comforting. He remained turned away from her, the pain only worsening.
"She's dead." His voice finally began to crack. "And I let it happen."
Judy put both her paws to her mouth, doing her best to muffle her gasp.
"It was about seven years ago that she was diagnosed with cancer. We were luckily able to catch it early enough to where treatment could have easily resolved the problem."
Refusing to look into her eyes, he let out an agonizing sigh. "But, my family couldn't afford it. Hell, my mom worked her ass off just to get me my junior scout ranger uniform. If we were to pay off some horrendous medical bills, it would have taken a miracle. And I thought I was going to be that miracle. Finnick and I worked our asses off, day and night, to try to make the money. At this point, the typical pawsicle routine wasn't going to cut it. I won't go into details about some of the things I did. To this day, Finnick and I are still ashamed of some of those nights we spent to make our money."
That last sentence sent a shiver throughout him, one that Judy easily felt as it quacked his whole being.
"But even with all the morally wrong and just utterly disturbing things we had to do, I knew it was for her. I kept telling myself that I wasn't the one of most importance at this moment in time. It was her, no matter how much Finnick and I suffered we knew it was for her. There was one night where I ended up vomiting in a back alley somewhere in the projects. And once again, Finnick was there for me. Like the brother he had always been, he assured me that our pain and suffering wasn't in vain."
With that, the faint glimmer of a smile showed itself on his muzzle. The tears had retreated just a small amount, but still came forth strong.
"In the end, we got all the money we needed. It was one of the greatest feelings I've ever experienced. I was finally able to spend a night not lying awake in my bed, worrying about the grim likeliness the future held for us. So Finnick and I both decided that we needed a little stress relief. We left my house and went to a bar. After the numerous nights spent awake in agony, I never thought alcohol could taste so sweet."
He took a pause, his tears beginning to increase in severity once more.
"When we got back home, we found the front door open. We had forgotten to lock it."
His voice cracked.
"Whoever had entered rummaged through our belongings, taking valuable things like jewelry or dishes that they thought could possibly be worth something. But worst of all, they took the money, all of it."
Nick's last amount of composer finally slipped away.
"My sister died a month later. Without her treatment, the cancer only progressed. And I was to blame." He slammed his paws, now curled up in fists, into the ground.
"Nick…"
He finally decided he could hide no longer, finally turning to gaze at her.
"Nick, I'm not going to try and convince you to stop blaming yourself."
Her paw moved up and stroked his muzzle.
"But I will try to help you move on. I know the blame will never leave your mind, but you need to learn to progress."
"Carrots… I just don't know how. Believe me, I've tried."
"Your life has gotten better. Learn to accept that. You can't go back and try to fix your past mistakes, but you can improve upon the present."
"I just miss her, every day. The pain is unbearable at times. I just don't think I will ever be able to extinguish the nagging guilt that I let her die."
"If you really want to alieve that pain the best you can, just understand that this isn't how your sister would want you to continue your life. I'm sure that wherever she is now, she sure as hell doesn't want you to see your destroy your life. She would want you to make up for your mistake by not letting your life go to waste. Make her proud."
Nick finally regained the strength to fully smile again.
"You know what, you're right. I can never fix my mistake, but I can sure as hell make up for it."
He wrapped his arms around her and placed his head over her shoulder. His tears fell on her shirt, finally letting the years of pain flow out.
"That's it, let it all out." She patted him on the back, letting him take his time as he drained out all the pain and sorrow.
After a few moments, he lifted his head off of her, letting his arms slip away.
"Alright Carrots, you've had your turn. Now I want mine." He let out a sniffle.
"Of course, I'm all ears."
"Why were you so upset by that picture?"
Her ears went limp. She let her meltdown completely flee her mind as she did her best to comfort Nick.
"I…" She bit her bottom lip. Although she had run the rehearsed dialogue of finally telling Nick her true feelings many times over, she always got the feeling that she would freeze up when the time came.
"Carrots? C'mon, you can tell me. You've become my best friend, and I'm pretty sure that I speak the same for you."
He placed a paw on her shoulder, hoping to alert her that he could be fully trusted without any consequences.
"That's the problem. You're my best friend."
His perky ears started to droop.
"But I think I may want more than that…"
His heart began to pound furiously, the insides of his ears turning a deep crimson. It finally dawned on him that her strange behavior earlier that day was finally exposing its source.
"When I saw that picture, I honestly thought that someone else had stolen you from me."
Her tears began to form again.
"I…" She was silenced as Nick put a finger to her lips.
"I have a feeling about what you're about to say, Carrots. So here's the deal; I'm going to give you two choices. I can either tell you a comforting lie that will cease all this. We can go back home, continue to be partners at work and remain good friends. Or, I can tell you the absolute truth. Just keep in mind that the second choice may not be exactly what you want to hear. But, it will be the truth that you need to hear, whether or not you'll find it pleasant. Now, which choice will it be?"
There was a silent pause. The only sound that could be heard was the gentle whisper of the cool night wind and the unstable breathing pattern emitting from Judy.
"I… I want the truth. I want the complete, honest truth."
Nick's smile had vanished, now replaced with a straight face. Judy understood that he meant business.
"I feel the same way you do. I don't want a best friend, I want more."
Judy continued to stare straight ahead in his eyes.
"Ever since the day you gave the speech at my graduation, it dawned on me. 'Look inside yourself and recognize that change starts with you' is what I believe you said. I was finally able to fully realize that my life was changing. I had managed to turn myself around not just by myself, but also thanks to you. Seeing you standing up there at the podium awoke something that I've never felt before. I felt love. Not kiddy love, not bring a girl into your bed for a night and then never see her afterwards. What I felt was genuine, full-strength… love."
That's when Judy came to a realization. Her feelings that she felt for Nick were finally sorted out. The puzzle had finally been pieced together, and she could see the broad picture. What she too felt, was love.
"Oh Nick, I can't begin to explain how relieved I am that you feel the same way."
"I think I know just how to do that."
And with that, Nick stood up and dragged Judy up with him. He wrapped an arm around her waist and the other around her head. Lifting her up, he placed a kiss on her.
Judy had never felt such passion in her life. There had been the occasional high school boyfriend. But any kiss they shared lacked any sort of sense of true devotion. What she felt now was pure and full strength. There was no doubt in her mind that both she and Nick both yearned for this moment, whether or not they had been fully aware of it.
There was no slobbery kissing or over-exaggerated motions from Nick. She could tell that all the feelings he had for her were being channeled into the simple and elegant way he kissed her, in the delicate way he handled her.
As they separated, they both looked into each other's eyes. Judy had never seen such a look in his emerald gaze before. Now, she would finally be able to recognize it as a look of love, deep and heartfelt love.
Begin 'Heroes'
Judy closed her eyes, her head resting on Nick's chest. The headlights of his Jeep illuminated the new couple slowly dancing in the field. He had plugged his phone into the radio, letting the music play over the speakers.
"I hope you realize that this will have to be kept secret from everyone at work, especially Chief Bogo. We both know that he doesn't allow co-workers to date. He thinks it's disruptive and distracting."
"Distracting?" Nick let out with a chuckle. "It won't be distracting. It's not like I'll want to pull you aside and plow you in the bathroom."
"Damn it, Nick. I'm serious."
"So am I."
"We could be separated as partners, or be fired to make matters worse. Seriously, we need to make sure that no one catches onto this. I really need you to control yourself."
Nick placed a paw on his heart, nailing a perfect impression of acting utterly offended.
"Me? I'm pretty sure that a horny bunny like you is at the top of list of concerns."
"Mating season isn't until spring. Fall and winter really don't make me have any urges. There is no better turnoff for me than the cold."
"Alright, fine. I guess you won't be as much of a problem as I had anticipated."
Judy kept her head on him, but looked up into his gaze.
"We also need to worry about being an inter-species couple. It's not really like they're fully accepted by everyone."
"I know we'll catch some dirty looks and possibly some threats, but I'm willing to take it. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never heart me."
"If you're strong enough to ignore all the mess this will bring upon us, then I guess I am too."
She closed her eyes again, letting Nick lead her as he slowly led them in a leisurely dance. Judy had never felt so at peace.
"I guess this means we should probably move in together" Nick breathed out calmly, interrupting the moment.
"Move in? Isn't that for couples who have been together longer? Hell, we haven't even known each other long enough to match the minimum time when a couple moves in together.
"Carrots, if you even feel half as strong about this as I do, then I'm pretty sure we far outdo almost every other couple in this city. I'm pretty sure we began far ahead of the starting line and can move in together. Besides, it'll allow you to upgrade from that hole-in-the-wall you currently reside in."
"You're right. It will be nice to finally get more than three hours of sleep with no more noisy neighbors. Those dumb bastards will bother me no more."
"And finally being able to get enough sleep should lessen that salty attitude and stop the swearing. If it doesn't help, I'll buy us a swear jar."
Judy laughed, still lost in the moment of pure bliss.
"If I move in, you'll have to help me move my stuff."
"Ah, yes. Let me lend my assistance in helping you move all your possessions that I can count on one hand. Let's see… We have your uniform, phone and charger, the outfit you're currently wearing, laptop and charger, and a pillow. It will be physically exhausting, but I think I can manage."
"You left out one thing."
"Oh really" Nick replied as he let out a laugh that Judy could feel resonate inside of him. "And just what would that be? A frozen carrot meal?"
"A stuffed fox."
"You don't need that to sleep with that thing anymore. You have the real thing."
"Well maybe we should save it. You never know; we may have kits one day."
Nick's mind raced at the thought of kits.
"Of course we would have to adopt, but I don't mind. I just want one of them to be a fox." He began fantasizing having to be a role model to his son or daughter. It sort of scared him.
"And I want one of them to be a bunny."
"Deal."
Nick placed his chin on top her head, indulging in the moment.
"And one more thing, Carrots."
"What now, Mr. Wilde" Judy asked, her eyes still closed and mouth contoured into a large smile.
"I hope your parents don't mind the idea of a fox boyfriend."