Chapter 3
After getting filled with a decent meal and excusing himself, Kaiba made a few phone calls, and then they all went to bed, because Joey had said they needed to leave early if they wanted to get the guns unseen. Kaiba wasn't happy about having to take his brother with him—and Ryou, to an extent, because Ryou had already been through a lot as well, being shot at and all—but acquiesced to his request all the same. He didn't want to be caught unawares and unprepared.
The trio was surprised to see Seto pulling out his own car—a sleek black mustang—instead of ordering a limo, but decided not to ask questions; it did make sense, after all, seeing as they didn't want anyone to see them. The group was silent as they packed a few suitcases into the trunk. Once the car was moving, the only conversation was Joey giving Seto directions to where they could obtain guns.
Said blond was the only one not surprised as they came to a halt outside a nice home in the middle of a nice neighborhood nearby, showing that the person was obviously well off. "This is the place," he stated, getting out of the car. Seto, Ryou, and Mokuba followed him silently, slightly anxious about meeting someone with lots of guns. Joey knocked on the door softly, yanking his hand back swiftly as the door jerked open. "Shit!"
A girl around nineteen years old blinked her large, innocent blue eyes at him, frowning, then tossed her long, blonde hair over her shoulder, showing that her hair had red streaks in it. "Joey." Her voice had a sort of American country ring to it.
Joey nodded to her. "Alisa."
The girl, now identified as Alisa, sighed and let her eyes travel over them slowly. "Quite a posse ya got there, Joey."
"Yeah."
"And what interestin' ears. Ya got a tail, too?"
"Yeah."
"Yer other friends freaks like you?"
"Yeah."
Ryou and Mokuba winced as she said 'freaks' and Seto let out a soft growl, glaring at her angrily. Mokuba was not a freak! ...He couldn't vouch for Ryou and Joey, however. As far as he was concerned, on a 'freak' scale of one to ten, Ryou was at least an eight and Joey was a solid eleven.
Alisa stared at the blond for a moment longer, then reached out and slapped him across the face, scowling. "You ass! D'ya know how worried I was when I found out ya were kidnapped?! When I found out yer father was killed?! An' then yer found alive and no one calls me?!" She grabbed onto one of his sensitive ears and dragged him into the house. "Get the hell in here!" She looked back at the other three boys and smiled kindly. "C'mon in, boys. I'll make ya some tea! Or cocoa, if ya prefer?"
"Cocoa, please!" Mokuba answered, bouncing into the house without a qualm.
"Mokuba-!" Seto hissed, scowling, as he walked in after him, leaving the albino to walk in last and shut the door.
Alisa dragged Joey over to her kitchen and sat him down at the table, striding over to the stove. She turned and smiled at the other boys. "Ya'll just go ahead an' sit now. Do ya'll want cocoa, or do some of ya want tea?"
"Cocoa will be fine," Ryou murmured, smiling at her nervously.
"Tea," Seto muttered, for some reason not wanting to possibly anger the strange girl.
"Joey, can ya even have cocoa?" Alisa asked suddenly, frowning at him.
The blond shot her a glare. "Still human here, Alisa."
"Just checkin'. Wouldn't wanna accidentally kill my sweetie pie of a cousin with some chocolate!"
"I need guns."
The girl slammed her teakettle down on the stove a bit harder than necessary. "...Why?" When he didn't reply, she turned toward him, scowling. "I'm not givin' 'em to ya unless ya give me a good reason, Joseph Wheeler."
Joey rested his chin on his hand, frowning. "...I... People... that is..." He took a deep breath and heaved it back out in a sigh. "People want us dead."
Alisa tapped the her chin in thought, frowning, then turned a sharp glare on the other three boys, making them involuntarily flinch and shrink into their seats a little. "Yer in on this too, I see. This isn't gang related, is it?" Ryou and Mokuba quickly shook their heads in response. Her face slowly relaxed into an uneasy smile. "I see. So it has t' do with yer mutt ears and yer tail, huh?"
"Yeah."
"...I see." She sighed and went back to making tea and cocoa. "Which ones ya want, sweetie?"
"All of 'em. The big ones, the little ones, set me up for a blow out."
"Question." She turned back to them, holding four mugs. "Ya'll know how t' use a gun?"
"Seto does. I don't. He promised he'd let me learn when I turned fifteen," Mokuba answered, taking one of the mugs. "His aim's really good."
"Uh huh. And you?"
Ryou blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Um... No, sorry. I've only held a gun once. ...And I don't think that counts, because it was really Bakura holding it."
Alisa smiled. "Then ya'll 've gotta learn, don't ya? Joey'll teach ya, won't ya, Joey?"
Joey knew better than to disagree. "Yes'm."
"Good boy," she cooed, patting him on the head, before striding out of the kitchen. "Be right back with 'em."
Once sure she was out of earshot, Seto turned and raised an eyebrow. "Bipolar, maybe?"
The dog-eared boy shot him a dirty look and tightened his grip on the mug, making it creak under the pressure. "She's off her meds and her psychiatrist says she's fine."
"Well that makes me feel so much better. How do we know she hasn't poisoned us?" Seto paused. "And why did she accept your ears and tail so quickly?"
"She's always thought of me as a puppy. Leave me alone, moneybags."
"Incomin'!"
Joey yelped as something slammed into the back of his chair, then turned and looked down, tilting his head, to find a duffle bag sitting on the floor behind him. He looked up at his cousin and scowled. "Whaja do that for, Alisa?"
Alisa smiled at him fondly. "It's all outta love, Joe." Her smile immediately disappeared. "Email me. Now finish your drinks and get out." She turned to leave. "I wanna let the dogs in. I was just about to do that when you knocked."
"'kay. We'll be done soon. You want me to let the dogs in for you so you can go to bed? It's almost..." Joey glanced at his watch. "Five."
She shook her head and sighed, waving slightly without turning around. "I sleep at first light and wake up four hours later. As you know, the sun doesn't rise for a bit yet." She turned momentarily to flash him a smirk. "And then the world is mine to manipulate as I wish. Been a while since the dogs have had fresh meat, though."
"...We'll be gone before you let them in."
"Email me," she repeated, before disappearing from sight.
"...What was that about dogs?" Ryou asked softly, disliking the uncomfortable silence.
Joey shrugged, staring into his mug of cocoa. "She's got a pack of wolves, a few dogs, and some wogs. Domesticated, of course. She saved the pack from being put down in America and brought them here with her two dogs. The pack stays out at night to do their business and stuff, and then she lets them in before she goes to bed so they can guard the place while she sleeps. She's sorta paranoid. Then she goes to work for the police as a profiler and tracker."
The albino nodded slightly. "I see."
"What's a 'wog?'" Mokuba asked, tilting his head innocently.
"A cross between a wolf and a dog," Seto answered, setting his mug down. "Let's go."
Mokuba and Ryou set their mugs down as well. The three boys got up to leave but turned in confusion when Joey failed to get up as well. "...Joey?" Ryou questioned softly, frowning.
The blond pulled at one of his ears silently, then turned a pathetic, watery look on them. "You know she's probably the only person in the world that would ever accept me like this with a smile and no questions other than why no one called her when they found me. You don't... you don't get someone who loves you so unconditionally all the time, you know?"
"...Come on, Joe," Ryou murmured, pulling the taller boy to his feet. "We should get going."
"Yeah. You're right," the blond answered quickly, wiping his eyes, then sniffed and grabbed the duffle bag full of firearms and—knowing his cousin—extra ammunition. "Let's go."
Just before they could get outside, though, Alisa quickly called out, "Joey, wait."
Joey turned in confusion only to meet a pair of brown eyes similar to his. He leaned back slightly, nose wrinkling in confusion as the smell of dog filled his senses. "Eh?"
"Take this. He barks whenever someone comes up," she ordered, forcing the gray puppy onto him.
Seto scowled. "We don't need another mutt!"
Alisa shot him a glare that made his own seem like a mild frown. "Did you not hear me? He barks whenever someone comes up. He's your own little security system. ...'sides, he's got more wolf than dog in 'im." Her glare faded and she raised an eyebrow, turning to lift the puppy to meet Seto's gaze. "How can you say no to this face?"
"Quite easily. Let's go," he ordered to the other teens, only to blink as the large puppy was suddenly dumped in his arms.
"Bye now! Don't get killed!" Alisa shoved them out and slammed the door before he could protest.
"...O...kay..." Joey muttered, staring at the door in slight confusion.
Mokuba took the puppy from his stunned brother's arms. "I shall call you 'Freddy!'"
"You've got to admit, it's a cute security system," Ryou stated, following the younger teen to the car.
"...Okay," Joey repeated, walking after them.
And Seto wondered what he'd ever done to deserve this.
-z-z-z-
"We need to buy some food for the house," Mokuba pointed out, smiling as he played with his new puppy. "We don't have any food."
Seto rolled his eyes and sighed. "I know. We'll drop by a supermarket on the way there."
Joey watched the rising sun silently, still in a slightly melancholy mood, before he got an alarmed expression and turned in his seat to face the raven-haired teen. "Mokuba, let me borrow your cell phone."
"Um... Okay."
"Can't believe I forgot to ask—" the blond muttered, punching in a number, before starting to bring it to his ear.
He didn't even have a chance to get it there before a sharp voice from the other line barked, "WHAT?!" Everyone could hear the irritation in that voice.
"Does Freddy need a special kind of food?" Joey asked, shrugging off the annoyed outburst; after all, his cousin probably wanted to go to bed now. "Sorry, I just remembered. ... Isn't that a little expensive? ... What do you mean he's a growing boy and eats just like me?! ... I know an insult when I hear one!" the blond shouted, scowling. "Whatta ya mean that's the only thing he can have!? There's gotta be some generic kind of— ... Oh." He winced and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry. I didn't know. ...Yeah. I love you too. Sleep well. ... Bye."
When the blond finally shut the door, Ryou leaned around the seat to see his face. "What did she say?"
Joey groaned and rolled his eyes, tossing the phone back to its owner carelessly. "She says he's gotta have this mash crap that she used to make for me whenever I got sick, 'cause he's got some sort of deficiency or something. Twice a day, everyday, until she comes, gives him a check-up, and decides which brand he'll be able to eat." He scowled. "She's such a bitch sometimes."
"What's the mash crap made out of?" Mokuba asked, tilting his head as Freddy decided to lay down for a nap.
"It's got lots of vegetables, a few protein things... sometimes eggs, and cinnamon. Tastes gross." the blond replied, closing his eyes. "Well, it's gross but it works. I was always better a few hours after she fed it to me." His eyebrows furrowed together slightly. "Mixing food for a dog... never thought I'd see the day."
"Must be nice to be doing something for your own kind, mutt."
Joey sat up straight and turned to glare at him, opening his mouth to reply, but Ryou beat him to it. "That's Mr. Mutt to you, Kaiba."
Mokuba and Joey frowned at him, blinking in shock, before Mokuba burst out laughing and Joey began shouting that he was not a mutt, thank you very much, but a human with a string of pedigree golden retriever in his DNA. Ryou replied that that certain string of dog DNA among his human ones made him a mutt; a mixture of human and dog. In which case Joey snarled and tried to jump the albino, forgetting that he was strapped into his seat.
And Seto wondered what he'd ever done to deserve this again.
-z-z-z-
Joey blinked and raised an eyebrow. "...Do you... even know what you're doing?"
Seto raised an eyebrow as well and looked down at the pear in his hand. "It's a pear. You pick it up and put it in a bag."
"Don't be stupid. That one's bruised, and way too ripe," the blond explained, taking the fruit from his hand and placing it back with the others. He inspected the pears for a few seconds before picking out another one. "Feel this one. It's firm, see? And there aren't any bruises on it. That other pear wouldn't have lasted long." He looked it over again, then dropped it into the plastic bag the elder Kaiba was still holding. "Now you pick one."
The brunet frowned and gazed at the pears as if they were alien heads. They were pears, damn it! What did it matter if it was bruised or not?
"They're sort of like an old married couple, aren't they?" Ryou commented, peeking out from the cereal aisle at the odd pair picking out produce.
Mokuba snuck a peek at them as well. "Yeah, I've always thought that. You know, I think that Seto really likes Joey, he just doesn't want to show it because he's afraid of being rejected." His lips curved into a patent Kaiba smirk. "I say we give them a push."
"Well, what do you want me to do?" Ryou asked in confusion.
"...Think of a plan Bakura would come up with."
The albino frowned and crossed his arms thoughtfully. "Hmm... Something Bakura would come up with..." He gazed at the floor for a few minutes, then looked back at the raven-haired teen. "He'd probably say something along the lines of, 'Just get them to fuck and leave the rest up to them.'"
"Great! ...Now how do we get them to do that?" Mokuba asked, frowning.
"It's a fucking pineapple, Wheeler!"
Both Ryou and Mokuba turned sharply at the sound of Seto's irate exclamation before Mokuba whispered, "Is there anything to get to make them have sex?"
"Well, there are aphrodisiacs, but I don't think your brother and Joey would appreciate it," Ryou replied, also in a whisper.
"Well, tough shit."
"I know it's a pineapple, Kaiba. I want you to pick one!"
"...Where do we find aphrodisiacs?" Mokuba asked softly, looking up at the older teen.
Ryou blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Um... the pharmacy?"
"I'm not eating it! I hate pineapple!"
"Let's go."
"I don't care if you don't like it!"
"Wheeler, I'm going to—"
"Go help your brother pick out cereal!" Joey finally screamed, giving the elder Kaiba a shove toward the cereal aisle. "Go! Go! Go! You're doing nothing but pissing me off!" He shot the brunet a glare that would have Satan shaking in his boots. "I'll get the produce. You get the coffee and whatever else it is you eat, and we'll meat up in the meats and dairy section. Is that okay with you?"
Seto briefly thought about saying no, but then he'd have to deal with the blond even longer, so he simply retreated to the cereal aisle just as Ryou and Mokuba came from the other end.
-z-z-z-
"...What is that?" Seto asked, raising an eyebrow as the 'mutt' set a tube of something on the conveyor belt that the cashier was quickly retrieving items from and scanning.
Joey raised an eyebrow. "It's lube. Why? Never seen it before?"
"Why am I buying it?"
Both Ryou and Mokuba tilted their heads in surprise. Seriously. Why was Joey getting lube? ...What was he planning?
"A guy's got needs, okay?" the blond snapped, placing his hands on his hips. "Leave me alone."
"But what—" Mokuba began, but Joey sent him a scathing glare clearly stating, 'Drop it.' He did so.
"Why do I have to pay—" Seto began as well, but the blond sent his glare at him instead. He dropped it as well. "...Fine."
"Ack! No! Cans and fruit do not go in the same bag! Get away from those, you loony!"
Ryou raised an eyebrow as the blond nearly attacked the boy bagging their groceries, then took his place in unloading the shopping cart, deciding that Joey would probably maul Seto or Mokuba, who they'd discovered were grocery-challenged. "Calm down, Mr. Mutt. Your pomegranates are going to be fine."
"I'll Mr. Mutt your pomegranates!" Joey snapped, sending him a sharp glare, before going back to bagging their groceries.
And Seto and Mokuba wondered why they'd ever thought of Joey as a happy-go-lucky moron, because obviously, he was smarter than he let on and he cared a lot for their health. Happy-go-lucky morons did not care for other people's health and they were not smarter than they let on.
The only question they had to be answered now was, why did Joey act like a happy-go-lucky moron and hide how smart he was?