== Hogwarts Transformed ==

By Ayngel


I do not own Transformers or any of the characters and concepts within. Likewise Harry Potter, to everything in connection with belongs to JK Rowling. I make no money from this or any other story which I have written about Transformers or Harry Potter

Still no warnings!!. Mild suggestions of drug use but not enough in my view to alter rating :-)

Hope everyone had a good Xmas and new year. Thank you so much for your reviews, all.

This is proving great fun to write!!

Chapter 2: Important Messages

1st August 1998.

Optimus Prime's personal sun deck on the Ark.

Optimus Prime settled back in his recliner, enjoying the feel of the Earth sun on his front panels as it shone brightly upon his personal sundeck in the uppermost levels of the Ark. A gentle breeze wafted over him, the only sounds its soft sigh and the odd bird call from the mountain further up. On the little table beside him was a cocktail of finest vintage energon, imported especially from the undamaged cellars they had discovered in the ruined city of Iacon. Prime smiled to himself, looking forward with relish to sampling the brew undisturbed and pleased that he had told Red Alert that he was strictly not contactable that afternoon.

It was so nice to be able to relax like this! The Decepticons had given very little trouble since their return. Megatron seemed preoccupied with problems at their new North Sea location, which was too far away to give the Decepticons anything like the strategic advantage they had enjoyed in the Pacific. The Human Relations agenda was going swingingly well. Better still, Prime had not heard anything further from that dreadful Ministry of Magic.

Shuttering his optics, Prime wondered dreamily if that character Fudge had decided to forget about his proposal. Or, maybe he was just a "nutcase," the human equivalent of a "glitch-freak" who did really have any 'powers'. Maybe he'd said a few weird things and the "demonstration" had been just a glitch in Prime's own circuits. Earth's magnetic field did funny things to robots sometimes.

A shudder passed momentarily through the circuits of the Autobot leader. Seriously, he hoped that was the case. There were so many aspects to the alternative that to a cybernetic being were just too awful to contemplate. The whole idea of non scientific powers was bad enough, without there being an "evil" contingent lurking around too. Prime thought back also to the reaction he'd had from the ones he'd selected to go to this Hogwarts place. Hound had roared with laughter and asked him if he wasn't due for a vacation and Mirage had fixed him with that stubborn "I don't have to do anything you say" look and said he'd give no guarantees. Only Bumblebee had shown any real enthusiasm for the project, and he had gone into such a state of overexcitement that his human friend had had to calm him down. It was hardly encouraging.

Of course, he had affirmed his authority and given them stern orders, ignoring the disdainful look on the Racer's face and the smirks of the Tracker. But all in all it would be soo much better if he didn't have to deal with it at all.

Well, hopefully he wouldn't. Taking the first sip of the excellent liquid, Prime allowed the sweet energising compounds to wash softly around his processing chamber, enjoying the anticipation of the pleasant sensations to come.

Security Room, the Ark

Red Alert looked with pride at the battery of camera monitors and alarms spread out before him, marking every centimetre of the heavily electrified perimeter fence around the designated Autobot area. Turning his attention to the monitors stationed at the entrances and exits he smiled to himself, pleased with the latest arrangements. At first, he had been disgruntled at the decision to leave the Ark where it was rather than insist on moving it to a new location. Now, he could see the wisdom of it. They really were much safer up on the mountain. They had a good lookout of who was coming and going and were less likely to attract human sightseers determined to get a glimpse of the "visitors."

Turning his attention to the control room, however, made Red not nearly so happy. A glance at the monitor showed the twins and Cliffjumper on duty, supposedly surveying the Japanese Prime Minister's visit to the White House with Teletran 1. Clearly, however, they were doing nothing of the kind! Sunstreaker lounged back in a recliner, optics shuttered, in obvious recharge, whist on the screen, Sideswipe and Cliffjumper were shouting and laughing, engrossed in some game in which fake humans were bashing each other.

Red shook his head, muttering to himself. Outrageous! The moment Prime was off the air, everyone completely slacked off. No doubt most of the others were languishing in their rooms or on decks involved in less than vigilant activities too! It was just a shame that that some of the more sensitive Bots who had objected to the installation of devices in their rooms had gotten their way. Otherwise, Red would have recorded the despicable inaction and presented it to Prime to show him what an undisciplined, unruly lot he had brought to Earth!

He fumed. Didn't everybody realize how hard it was for him, the overworked and underpaid Red Alert, to see that nothing or nobody invaded the sanctity of their base? Well he would make them see! It was time for a nice little testing of the new arrangements...

Red smiled to himself as he went to hit the big red master switch which would throw the Ark into a test emergency status, checking as he did, nevertheless, that the circuits to Prime's personal deck were disconnected. It wouldn't do to upset the leader, even if Red did disapprove of his inappropriate leisure times. But just before his fingers reached the button, something caught his optic on the monitor displaying the main entrance. He looked, and looked again. Then he simply could not believe what he saw! Wending its way along the corridor to the control room, apparently having avoided detection by any of the sensors, was a small winged creature.

Red snapped into action. It had to be Lazerbeak! But how? Ingenious although he knew Soundwave to be, Red could not see how in the universe the bird had got here from the other side of the globe and then in here. But this was no time to puzzle - or get cross about it. It just proved that under no circumstances could they relax!

Sealing off all other corridors so the bird would be confined. He yelled, "Control Room, come in!" knowing his voice would come through with a deafening boom.

The result was less than what Red would have hoped for. Sunstreaker jerked violently and sat up looking extremely cross. Sideswipe stopped laughing and looked around him. "Huh?" he said. Cliffjumper, whose turn it evidently was, squeaked; "All right, all right! Just hang ten ..." and carried on with the game. "Hey!" he yelled. "You ruined my dropkick!"

"Prepare for conflict!" Red yelled. "It's Lazerbeak!"

But it was too late. Red watched in horror as the bird swept in.

On the North Sea floor, twenty leagues from the Decepticon base

Swindle patrolled the perimeter of the base, pleased that alone of the Combaticons he had been the only one allowed back to Earth and even more pleased that he'd been chosen to go on patrol today.

Despite the dreadfully miserable atmosphere which seemed to have hung around the base ever since they got back here, he had still managed to find opportunities which the ocean offered. The coast around here was evidently quite dangerous to human ships because there were a large number of them scattered in pieces on the ocean floor. With Rumble's help, he'd managed to salvage some useful lengths of metal and other trinkets which he'd flogged to the Coneheads for quarters improvements. Then there was the gaseous substance leaking out of the rocks in a secret grotto which could be bottled and liquefied and then added to energon and it made you feel all light headed and happy. He'd done all right fortune flogging that too, it had gone some way towards counteracting the prevailing misery.

Then, just the other day, he'd ventured to the shallower regions only to find humans in slick black suit things picking little creatures off the rocks. When they'd seen him they'd brought out weapons and fired, very admirable considering the size of them compared to the size of him. He'd come to the conclusion that they must have been doing something they shouldn't, and that because of this they were probably his types – even if they were human.

Swindle had made good use of his own weapons, blowing apart the things the humans breathed through so that they'd had to beat a hasty retreat to the surface. He'd followed. Being able to speak English quite well after his dealings with various humans back in 1985, Swindle had ended up chatting with them and sipping energon on the jetty whilst they drank their beer drink and told him all about their job – endangered species smuggling – and how if he could get them really rare creatures from the depths they would pay him Earth credits. Swindle had been delighted at such an easy score! He knew how useful Earth credits could be.

The humans were happy, too, at his offer him to scour the depths. Said they didn't like it. There were tales of strange sea creatures and demons lurking down there. ...

Right now, Swindle had a cage beside him and, in it, a collection of very ugly, slug like creatures. He wondered what in Kell the humans saw in them, but it was not his job to ask questions. As for the tales, he laughed to himself, thinking how sad it was that humans were bothered by such superstitious nonsense.

Little fish flitted all around as the yellow bot crouched, ankle deep in muddy sand, in front of a rocky outcrop. He was flashing his torch into a deep crevice when the huge three pronged spear whipped over his head and slammed into the sheer rock just inches in front of him.

Swindle jumped back in alarm and spinning around, peered into the greeny gloom, his pump racing. The water was very dark and murky and he could not see well. Peering closer, and adding infrared to his visual spectrum, he could just make out, a short distance away, several forms, human shaped but much bigger and elongated. They clutched what looked like more of the spear things. As he strained his optics, he could see heads and bodies and arms , but no legs. Alarms sounded within. Whoever had thrown the thing had done so with more force than humans had and Swindle remembered, with a chill, that nobody knew he was down here.

"... demons ..." the humans had said.

"Er – Hello there ..." he called out, hearing the waver in his vocaliser.

The forms hovered. Then to his growing horror one of them was approaching through the gloom. As it drew near, yellow eyes flashed in a hideous gray green face and now Swindle could see that the creature had no legs but, instead, a large fishtail which it thrashed from side to side. The memory of an Autobot he had captured last time on Earth called Seaspray - who could turn into a boat and who'd gone on about humans with fishtales - came suddenly to mind and he felt vaguely guilty about what an especially hard time he'd given him. But this thing was not human. And Swindle felt weak when he realized it was eyeing the creatures in the cage with disapproval as it brandished its huge spear.

Swindle attempted to smile at it. "Er - swell day for a swim!" he began.

The creature looked less than amused. Two others, also with spears, came up on either side, and a watery voice spoke. "Where is your silver leader?" it rasped, throatily. "And the winged metal creature? The red and blue one which screams when it can't get its own way ... ?"

Swindle relaxed, just a little. He even managed a chuckle. It looked like they did not want him after all! A familiar idea sprang into his mind. Why not!

"Er – yer in luck as it happens !" he said, putting on his best salesman's voice. "I can get 'em for yas ...," he smiled what was ordinarily his most winning smile, " ... we just need to work out what my cut in the deal is ..."

He always wondered afterwards how the creature knew that the part of him it chose to stick its spear into was the most embarrassingly sensitive part of him it could possibly have chosen.

Control Room, Autobot Headquarters, The Ark

There was a flurry of wings, and the bird swept through the doors. "Stop him!" boomed Red Alert. But before they could do anything, the bird was in the control room and swooping in circles. "Hang in there, I'm coming!" yelled Red Alert. Leaping up, he took off out of the security centre and headed for the scene of the intrusion.

Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Cliffjumper all drew weapons and grouped together in the centre of the room. The bird was still circling, and it was starting to make them dizzy. Sideswipe squinted at it. "That ain't Lazerbeak!" he said.

Cliffjumper's optics narrowed. "I'm don't give a snivelling piece o'pit" he snarled, attempting to aim at the rapidly circling form. "I'm gonna blow it the pit outta here! I'll teach some dumb flyin' turkey to wreck my game!"

"Or to wreck my nana-nap!" yelled Sunstreaker.

"No, wait! Hold fire!" Sideswipe shouted. "It's some kind of Earth bird!"

"So what!" yelled Cliffjumper, and he let off a showy volley of laser fire. He missed, Instead, a deep gouge appeared in the wall next to Teletran 1, who beeped loudly in alarm. "Way to go!" yelled Sunstreaker, leaping in front of him and firing equally stylishly but missing as well. Red Alert, hearing the shots and the shouts, quickened his pace, fretting.

The bird turned amazingly fast and headed straight for Cliffjumper. As it came towards him he was aware of large, glowing wise eyes and a curved beak in which was clasped something white. "Take this!" he yelled but at lightning speed the bird swept over him and, as it did so, a great splash of white gooey substance flew out of it, landing smack in his left optic. "Aargh!" he shrieked, dropping the weapon and clutching at his optic. "Aarrghh ... I'm blind!!!"

The bird arced around. Sunstreaker, feeling now that as a matter of principle he must destroy it, let off another shot which ricocheted off one of the lights. The globe blew out with a bang and Teletran let out more frantic beeps. "Damn!" yelled Sunstreaker, repositioning himself and reloading. Cliffjumper was still whimpering in the background. Sunstreaker went to fire again, but he found Sideswipe's hand on the barrel, pulling it down. "No, Sun!" he exclaimed. "We don't fire on Earth creatures! You know what Prime said!"

Sunstreaker grunted, intaking heavily and glaring angrily at the bird as it whooshed round once again and then settled itself on a ventilation pipe next to Teletran 1. He badly wanted to blast it, but not doing so obviously meant something to his twin. He turned his attention instead to what was in the bird's beak. "Hey!" he said. "It's got a bit of paper. And there's some kind of writing on it ...."

The two of them peered forward to get a better look. Behind them, Cliffjumper was still wiping his eye and complaining furiously.

At that moment, Red Alert burst through the doors brandishing a huge rifle. He stared at the two Autobots and followed their gaze to the bird and back again. Panting, he realized also that this was not the Decepticon spybird. "Hey!" Sideswipe was saying, "I remember now! I saw one of those things when I was out with Spike one time. He said it was called an Owl ..."

Red bristled indignantly. "I don't care what it is, I don't want it in here!" He said. "It just played havoc with my systems. Now I think the best thing we can do is to try and .." he started to move towards the bird, which screeched loudly and flapped its large wings. "Be careful Red!" said Sideswipe. It just gave Cliffy an opticful!" An unprintable sounding swear word issued from the small bot, who had recovered enough to stare at everyone with a squint.

Before Red could reach it, the bird opened its beak and out fell the piece of paper. It fluttered down and landed at Red's feet, and now they could all see it was what the humans called an envelope, something they continued to use as part of their archaic communications system. Taking off, the bird crossed the room and took up a new place above the door. Cliffjumper now joined the others and they all stepped forward and peered at its package. "Hey!" said Cliffjumper. "It's got names on it! It says – er ..." they all bent lower to look, ".... Bumblebee, Hound, Mirage ..." he read out slowly.

Red seethed. "I might have known it!" he snapped. "None of that lot are anything but trouble!" It was true. Bumblebee spent his life running around with that human and doing Primus knew what, Hound insisted on going for drives at all manner of ridiculous hours of the day and night and as for Mirage ...?

Well Red didn't even know if he was there or not half the time! And he refused to cooperate with any of the special security measures. "Well, he snapped, "I think we'll just get them in here and see what they have to say about this!"

'You can't," muttered Sunstreaker. "They're at a race meeting. Mirage has challenged the human cars, you see ..."

Red bristled again at not having been told of this fact. He was supposed to be appraised at all times about who was where! "Well in that case, I'll take care of this!" He took a step towards the envelope, but as he did so the bird screeched loudly and flew overhead again and at the same time the paper receptacle shot into the air, sailed past the astonished security chief and landed just the other side of Sunstreaker. The yellow twin grunted and went to pick it up, but again it leapt out of reach. Cliffjumper tried next. This time the envelope not only leapt in the air but it gave him a loud whack on the side of the head. "Ow!" he yelled. Where it had made contact, a dint appeared. "That's not possible!" Sideswipe gasped.

The envelope settled on the other side of the room, next to Teletran 1, who was now making rather confused sounding beeping noises. The bird hovered above it's charge protectively. "I'll – er - get it," said Sideswipe. "He approached it cautiously, as though it might jump up and bite him, but once gain it flew into the air.

Red had had enough. "This is ridiculous!" He said. He strode firmly over and made a grab for the envelope, but it ascended again. "After it!" he yelled. Then all of a sudden they were all trying to grab it as it hopped around the room and then the bird was screeching, doing low passes, whilst a loud chorus of high pitched beeps issued from Teletran 1.

As Cliffjumper and Red both went for it at once they collided with Sideswipe and the three of them bounced off each other with a loud clang and fell back with more clanging and bangings which echoed of the walls of the control room. They all let out loud groans, especially Cliffjumper who was starting to feel decidedly hard done by.

Then Sunstreaker growled: "The Kell with protocols!" and was blasting at the bird, but he missed and instead the envelope came straight for him. He sidestepped with a cry but it sliced the weapon clean out of his hand and he staggered and fell over Cliffjumper, clattering to the floor and landing in a tangle with the little bot – who let out a loud wail - alongside the others.

Then Sideswipe was groaning and clutching his leg and Sunstreaker was moaning and cursing Cliffjumper and Cliffjumper was cursing everything. Red did the only thing he could. Leaning over and wincing in pain, he activated the com.

"Prime! Come in!" he said in a weak, strangled sounding voice. "We've got ourselves a situation here!"

Operations Room, Decepticon Headquarters

Within the dreary ops room, Megatron stalked angrily up and down. "This is all your fault, Dirge!" He snapped. "If I only had enough energy for a space bridge you'd go straight back to Cybertron!"

The conehead looked at him balefully. "But I haven't done anything ..." he said in his mournful voice.

"Nonsense!" bawled the leader. "The atmosphere on this base has been dismal! Damnit, Dirge! I have the longest faces around me that I've ever seen in my life. And I can't get anyone to do anything! I'm going to be instructing Starscream to do random checks on your weaponry!" It was true. Everyone was completely apathetic. No matter how many threats he used, it made no difference, and many of them seemed drunk half the time. He'd even tried being nice – with no effect either. It was shameful! Apart from anything else, what if his brother somehow found out? The Cons would never be able to walk tall again!

The grey Seeker looked unhappier than ever. "But I've had my negative emotion generation ray switched to neutral!" he was being truthful. Sure, he'd felt unhappy down here, but he generally did, so he hadn't sensed anything out of the ordinary.

The Decepticon leader was glaring at him. "Perhaps you're just such a misery you don't even need it on any more!" he snapped. "Primus! Even the cassettes are moping!"

Dirge just stood there looking as though he may melt into a great unhappy pool. Megatron could stand it no longer. "Oh – get out!!" he said. The Seeker nodded unhappily and made slowly for the door. It hissed shut behind him and Megatron heard his footsteps echoing hollowly away.

Reaching into his energon cupboard, Megatron angrily extracted a cube of his special high grade and ripping the lid off, took a deep swig of the purple liquid. Damnit, even he was drinking during the day now! He sat down at the monitor, which showed nothing but murky green water and strands of weed. Why did it have to be so infernally difficult down here?

He had thought it would be a good spot, away from Prime's prying sensors. But nothing had gone right. The land masses nearby were inflicted by hideous weather systems and had little to offer. Not too far away were generous undersea reserves of gas and oil, but the ocean was bitterly cold, and every time they went on an energy gathering expedition, something happened. Like Soundwave and the cassettes getting entangled in that giant squid thing or Starscream's trine falling into deep sea quicksand. Perhaps, he reflected angrily, he should have instructed the Constructicons not to rescue them from that - after all, he was sure the Seeker and his trine were to blame for most of what had happened. They were bound to be trying to thwart his efforts! It was also Starscream's fault Dirge was here – and he had the gall to do nothing but complain about him!

Megatron remembered, then, his little "chat" with Prime. Hopefully, Starscream would be gone soon! Hopefully ....

But nothing more had come of that either! Prime's little "story" was probably a load of claptrap. He had this nonsensical affection for the humans – it was only one step on to start endowing them with imaginary qualities.

The com crackled. "Megatron ...?" It was Swindle's voice. The leader ignored it.

Taking another large sip of the purple liquid, he just hoped Ravage would bring back a successful report about the big black building which lurked in the waters some distance from here. The one which looked interesting, but which somehow they didn't seem able to get close to either without some incident occurring ...

"Megatron, please ..." The com again. The voice sounded urgent. "There's these weird human lookin' things here to see you and Starscream. Kinda like a cross between a giant fish and a human."

He cursed. He was sure Swindle had something to do with the inebriated state of the troops, and he was probably high on something now. Another Decepticon it had been a mistake to bring! Well he couldn't be bothered with the hallucinations of some halfwit today! "Tell them I'm busy!" he roared.

"Uh – Megatron I don't really wanna do that. They're kinda – not in a very good mood. The biggest one's got a weapon ..."

Surely the fool was not that non compus! "Well relieve it of its weapon!"

"I tried, but it stabbed me and it fraggin' hurt Megatron! It's big and nasty lookin' and it says it ain't leaving without seeing yuhs."

Megatron let out a deep sigh. He supposed, reluctantly, that this could be something worth checking out. "Oh very well!" he snapped. "Keep it busy! I'm on my way!"

Optimus Prime's personal sun deck on the Ark.

At first, Prime ignored the com call. He had taken several swigs of the vintage high grade now and had just been having a wonderful semi offline vision in which he and Elita one were on the balcony outside their Iacon berthroom and admiring the lights of Iacon. Elita was saying: "They're very pretty Prime, but if we go inside I can show you something even prettier .."

But the voice on the com was insistent and he realised to his annoyance that it was Red Alert. He let out a sigh of exasperation. Hadn't he made himself clear earlier?

"We have an intrusion situation!" Prime noted with dismay that the security chief sounded even more panicked than he had that time on Earth before the Negavator incident. "There's an Earth bird in the operations room!" he wailed.

"An Earth bird? " Prime sighed again. What in Primus was so bad about that? Red was getting stressed again. He knew it! He made a mental note to speak to Ratchet about it. He was damned if things were going to get out of hand the way they had the last time. "Er - I don't think we need to worry about that too much Red Alert!" he said, trying to sound as amiable as possible. "Just try and escort it out of the Ark. It won't have any weapons...."

"That's a negative, Prime! This bird – it's an Owl. And it's brought something really weird!"

Prime froze. And then he sat bolt upright. "A what?" he said. In a rush, his mind went back to the meeting with Fudge. Wasn't that one of those birds which was supposed to be ...

The Autobot leader paled. Now he recalled Fudge saying the final summons to Hogwarts would probably involve one of those birds because they were ...

... M-a-g-i-c ...

Prime could hardly bear to articulate the word in its head.

"It bought this human communications thing with Bee, Mirage and Hound's names on it and it won't go!" Red was wailing.

That, unfortunately, left the Leader in no doubt. And now in the back ground he realized, to his horror, that could also hear groaning noises. "I'll be right there," he said, wondering what in the Universe he was going to do if his soldiers had been turned into something unspeakable.

Taking a last look at the tranquil setting above, he departed, leaving the cocktail half finished on the table.

Decepticon Base

There were half a dozen of the creatures and they had their spears brandished menacingly. Megatron had to admit that, despite the primitive nature of the weaponry, they were a lot more fearsome and impressive looking than most humans he had encountered. A short distance away, Swindle was visibly trembling. The Decepticon Leader ignored him. "State your business!" he demanded.

The creature which stood at the front, bigger and more powerful looking than the others, spoke. "Our instructions are to collect your second in command. The one with the many talents, which despite its bad temper who would be a better leader than you."

Megatron's optics flared like coals in a wind. The impertinence of it! How dare they make such presumptions about intra Decepticon politics! Well they could just go right back to whatever foul organic place they had come from ....

"Starscream is not here!" he growled.

"Summon him!" the leader commanded. "If you do not comply, we will be forced to take action!" The others took a step forward, spears at the ready.

Megatron let out a snort. However formidable they may look, they were still puny flesh creatures, as far as he was concerned. "Oh yeah?" he said, flipping a switch on his arm. Swindle, unnoticed for the moment, took a few hasty steps away and cowered behind some rocks as the familiar hum of the fusion canon powering reverberated through the water. "It's time for a little bit of ... fish puree!" said Megatron, laughing evilly as he raised his arm.

Things happened very fast then. The Decepticon leader moved into firing stance but a split second before he discharged the bolt of energy it seemed the creatures all simultaneously whipped out little stick things. There was a brilliant blue flash and the leader staggered backwards, rocked by a wave more powerful than even his canon could have produced. Stunned, he floundered in a flurry of sand, fish and various other surprised critters. When he came to, he realized he had been flung backwards about thirty feet and the fishtailed ones were once more in front of him. Gaping past them, Megatron's pump nearly stopped in his chest. There was his fusion canon in pieces, scattered around in the sand. "My weapon!" he groaned.

The big one made a series of bubbly, watery noises to its companion, who nodded, then addressed him. "We will reassemble it for you," he said, "provided you summon the winged one!"

This time Megatron was not game to defy them. He activated his com. "Starscream!" he rasped, "get your aft to proximal sector four immediately. That is an order!" he added.

The creatures looked less antagonistic. They muttered between themselves. "There is one other matter!" said the big one. "The Minister for Magic requires a second Decepticon!"

Megatron's mind reeled. Anything to get his canon back! Then he caught sight of Swindle skulking amongst the rocks and relief flooded his systems. Besides, he thought wickedly, that little piece of pit was responsible for this situation! How good it would be to get rid of him as well!

"No problem - take him!" he gasped.

Swindle opened his mouth to say "noooooo!" but nothing came out of his vocaliser.

Control Room, Autobot Headquarters, The Ark

Although it was not as bad as it could have been, Optimis Prime still winced at the scene in front of him. Sideswipe lay on the floor, groaning and clutching his leg whilst Ratchet, shaking his head grumpily and snapping at the red twin to be quiet, examined it. Beside them, Cliffjumper sat on a stool with his head between his knees, energon dripping into a pool on the ground in front of him. "Pinch your nose!" Sunstreaker commanded from a stool next to him as he held a pressure pad to his forehead. Only Red was on his feet. Looking dazed, he stumbled towards the Autobot leader. "Prime!" he said. "Thank Simfurr!"

Prime stared at them all wide opticed. "What in Kell happened?" he asked.

Red Alert turned, and with a trembling arm pointed to two white objects over near Teletran 1. As his optics settled upon them he gasped. "Oh by Primus!" he whispered. "They've multiplied!" There was silence in the room as everybody forgot the injuries and looked at the envelopes with horrified stares.

Feeling distinctly uneasy, Prime realized he would have to take control. "Easy Autobots!" he said, drawing his gun. "Easy. I'll handle this!" and he started to inch sideways towards them, weapon at the ready. He was conscious of a silence descending as everyone suspended their intakes.

Drawing closer, Prime saw that one envelope was face down. But on the other he could see his name clearly written in fancy human handwriting. The silence intensified as he slowly bent down and picked it up. At the same moment everyone jumped as the bird, all but forgotten, fluttered down from somewhere in the roof and sailed gracefully across to land on Prime's shoulder. Ratchet went to draw his weapon but Red said "No! Leave it!" and the others made frantic noises of agreement.

Everyone relaxed, although optics were still fixed on the leader. Prime noticed the envelope had a strange little seal on it, which broke now so that the letter fell open in his hand.

Very conscious of the bird's presence, he read:

Dear Mr Prime

I really am most awfully sorry if this has caused any trouble. Just to let you know that the newly formed Steering Committee for Interspecies Intergalactic Magical Education considers it imperative that our new students join us as soon as possible to collect the paraphernalia they will require to attend Hogwarts and to receive some preliminary education regarding the use of polyjuice potion and transfiguration techniques.

For that reason I have assigned one of our customary international transport vessels to rendezvous with Mirage, Hound and Bumblebee and I would be obliged if you could pass to them the accompanying correspondence. There is no need for any involvement from the Autobots. The operation will be conducted under the Magical Secrecy Act without a single Muggle knowing the truth, so you need have no worry for any breach of confidentiality.

Bearing in mind the need for secrecy, I have taken the liberty of placing exclusivity charms upon the letters so that in the unlikely event that they fall into hands other than those intended the readers will be rendered unable to open it.

Prime stole a glance at his injured troops. Cliffjumper and Sideswipe seemed to have recovered, but looked like ghosts and Sideswipe was groaning again as Ratchet diverted part of his attention to his injuries. He frowned, thinking he would definitely be telling Mr Fudge not to be so heavy handed in future.

Thanking you for your cooperation and looking forward to a new era of wizard/transformer relations

Yours faithfully

Cornelius Fudge

As soon as Prime had read the last line, the letter rose in the air and before their astonished optics dissipated into many fragments which fell in a shower to the floor. The fragments glowed bright gold and then disappeared.

Now there was another silence as they all looked at him again, Sideswipe had struggled into a sitting position and Ratchet stood up, putting his hands on his hips and folding his arms. He felt all their optics upon him, demanding an explanation.

Prime thought fast. His optics went to the other envelope on the ground and, praying to Primus with everything he had, he stooped and picked it up. The Owl flapped slightly and clung hard to his shoulder, but nothing else happened.

With a glance at the front of the package, Prime drew himself up. "I – er – need to locate Mirage, Hound and Bumblebee!" He said. "I know it's their days off but ... "

They were still staring at him. Ratchet frowned. He thought again. His mind went again to Fudge and to his brother in the North Sea.

"A new unit!" He said. "That's it! With Mirage Hound and Bumblebee in it – working with some humans! Established in Scotland, to observe Megatron's base in the North Sea. A top secret operation! Under cover! So under cover it will report only to me ..... this – er ... " he held up the envelope. "It's to do with that!"

There was silence, and then they all spoke at once. "Aw what?" said Sideswipe.

"You have to be kidding?" said Ratchet.

"Mirage doesn't even like humans!" exclaimed Sunstreaker.

"Bumblebee gets to do everything!" grumbled Cliffjumper.

"Beep!" said Teletran 1.

Only Red Alert said nothing, thinking that despite his aches and pains, the day had had a positive outcome, because this the best news he had heard in as long as he could remember.

Prime pulled himself to his full height. The owl squawked loudly. "Autobots!" he declared. "That is my final word. We must remember who we are! Ratchet, take control. I'm gonna roll out and set things in motion!"

Tee hee!

Those HP canon gurus will no doubt have honed in on the fact that the merpeople can't do magic in the book – it's how Harry got away from them in the Triwizard Tournament. But in the movie they used wandpower! Primus bless the movies!

Swindle never captured Seaspray in G1 either – well, he did now!

Thank you for reading. Please R and R. **A**