Sirius raced into the hospital wing followed closely by Remus.
"Harry?" He looked around frantically. The letter he'd received from Dumbledore had simply stated that Harry was unwell and was in the hospital Wing. The man himself had not said a great deal more when they flooed into his office this morning, simply told them that Harry needed to talk to them and was still ensconced in the hospital wing. Sirius' frantic eyes found Harry lying, small and pale, in the middle of a hospital bed, talking quietly to Hermione who held tightly onto his hand. At the sound of his name, Harry and Hermione looked up. Hermione's grip tightened on his hand as she looked to him to assess whether she wanted him to stay. He shook his head a fraction of an inch, and smiled at her gratefully. Hermione stood and gently let go of his hand.
"I'll just leave you alone" She spoke quietly to Sirius, before turning and giving Harry another glance and a small smile, "I'll come back later Harry." She walked slowly from the hospital wing, nodding a greeting to Remus as she passed him.
Sirius took a small step towards Harry, but stopped when he flinched.
"Harry? What's wrong?"
Harry simply looked away, unsure of himself, unsure that he had the strength to get through the next few moments, let alone the next few years to come. He took a deep breath and looked up, into his godfather's eyes. Sirius continued speaking, everything coming out in a rush. There was no sign of recognition in the man's demeanour. No sign that he realised what he'd done to Harry.
"Why are you in the hospital wing? What's happened? The letter Dumbledore sent us didn't say... was there an accident?"
"Sirius, I'm ok, I – I just....." He sighed, waited a beat then took a deep breath before continuing. He decided he might as well just get it over with. Sirius had not acted any differently towards him since that night. In fact he had acted like it hadn't happened at all, so Harry certainly wasn't going to bring it up. No. He'd just tell them the news, and see what happened. He took another deep breath.
"I'm Pregnant."
Sirius and Remus both stilled and blanched.
"P-pregnant?" Sirius almost whispered. Harry thought he sounded scared, perhaps he now realised what he'd done to his godson. Perhaps now was when it would all come to light, all be revealed. Harry didn't think he'd have the strength for that. He started trembling slightly, wishing that he'd asked Hermione to stay, but then he wasn't sure if he wanted her to find out about Sirius anyway. Wasn't entirely sure why she still wanted to be around him now that she knew what had happened to him, he was dirty, used goods. And now he was going to become a parent because of it. A parent... at sixteen.
Sirius almost collapsed into the chair that Hermione had recently vacated, his face pale and his heart pounding in his chest.
"Pregnant?" He asked again, his voice a mere whisper in the silence of the hospital wing. "but... how? I mean, you're.... well you're a boy Harry, not a girl. This just isn't right. This can't happen." He stopped and looked into his godsons eyes.
"It can Sirius" the boy spoke quietly, "a boy can get pregnant after intercourse with another man. Did you not know that?" There was an accusatory hint behind his words, but neither Sirius nor Remus caught it.
"Another man? Harry... I didn't realise. You never said you were.... gay?" Remus was confused. He'd not thought... all the times he'd seen Harry around other people, with his classmates. He's thought there might have been something between him and Hermione, especially the way she had been holding his hand as they'd entered. But now this. There was no other explanation. He'd misread the signs. He hoped Hermione hadn't, she'd be crushed.
"I'm not." Harry spoke determinedly. It was the strongest his voice had been all morning, and as he spoke, he looked straight into his godfathers eyes. But whatever he had expected to find in those eyes, he didn't see it. Nothing, not a trace of any recognition or remembrance of that night. Well. If that was how it was going to be. Harry wasn't going to tell the world either.
"But Harry. If you're not....then why? How?" Sirius thoughts were jumbled. His sixteen year old godson had just announced that he was pregnant as a result of intercourse with another man, and now he was telling them he wasn't gay. He refused to let himself think of any other possibility until Harry told them outright. It may just have been experimentation, he thought to himself. Sometimes teenagers like to experiment, just to find out, but without a thought to the consequences. Although Harry would not have known about these consequences, hell, Sirius hadn't really known, except in some vague half remembered way.
Remus thoughts were running far more clearly. He'd seen the look in Harry's eyes that had told him in no uncertain terms that this was not the result of any experimentation. Had seen the way that he'd looked so sad and thoughtful as they'd entered the room, the way Hermione had been whispering comforting words to him as she held onto his hand. His brain locked onto the one possible explanation and screamed the word NO until it filled his head. He couldn't take his eyes off the small, rather frightened looking young boy in the hospital bed, waiting for him to confirm his fears, hoping there could possibly be another reason.
For his part, Harry looked away from them both. He'd not found what he'd been looking for in Sirius' eyes, and he couldn't bear to look at him as he told them both what had happened to him, what Sirius had done to him. He knew he had to tell Remus, from the way Remus had looked at him just now he'd already half figured it out, but he wouldn't tell him who. Not unless Sirius showed some sign of recognition, of remorse. No. No-one would know but him.
"I'm not gay" He repeated, looking down at his folded hands on the bedspread in front of him. "And this wasn't any experimentation" He confirmed. Sirius went a shad paler, and Remus sank into the nearest chair. His thoughts confirmed. His brain continued to scream NO over and over again, till it took real concentration to listen to the words Harry was still speaking. He wouldn't make him tell them this more than once because he'd been unable to listen. Harry continued in a quiet, shaky voice, "It was a night this summer, I was in my room at the Dursley's when I heard a sound in my room" he told them "I called out and the next thing I knew, there was a man, holding onto my arms. He pushed me down and held my on my bed, and... And then..." Harry broke off, unable to say anything more. Unable to describe the act, or show the pain it had caused him to the man that had caused it. A single tear trickled down his cheek, and he cursed himself for breaking his vow to shed no more tears over this. And for showing this sign of weakness in front of Sirius. His godfather leaned forward and spoke one word, barely constrained anger underlying the false overlay of calm he tried to portray. Of course he's angry, Harry thought to himself, he doesn't want his little secret out, doesn't want me to tell.
"Who?" Remus eyes snapped to Sirius, he could see the anger radiating from the man. This was not what Harry needed right now, even though this was the question he wanted the answer to as well... even though he could feel the same anger bubbling in his chest. He pushed it away. There would be a time for anger, and this wasn't it. Harry needed them.
Harry didn't answer Sirius question straight away. He shook his head slowly. "I-I didn't see him" he stumbled over the words, trying to make Sirius see that he wouldn't tell, trying to take some of the large mans anger away, cause what else could he be angry over? It didn't work; the words only seemed to make the man angrier. Sirius stood roughly.
"Think, Harry. Are you sure you didn't see? Who was it?" The man growled at him. Harry trembled in the bed. He shook his head once more but found himself unable to speak.
"Sirius" Even to himself, Remus voice sounded unnaturally calm. The ex-captive snapped his head to look at him, and Remus saw the agony in his eyes. The pain that he had not prevented this from happening. Remus felt the same pain; an ache deep inside his chest that he knew would never heal.
The sound of his name, the pain echoed in Remus eyes' was enough to jolt Sirius back to the present. To the present where his godson was lying in a hospital bed, shaking, having told them something terrible had happened to him and there were going to be massive consequences for them all. And all he could think about was killing the person responsible for causing so much pain. Another thought worried away at the back of his brain, buried so deep he didn't even notice it. Hidden from even himself. Sirius sat once more next to Harry, and leant forward, reaching for the boy's hand. Harry flinched slightly, and then seemed to force himself to be still.
"Oh Harry" Sirius whispered, before changing his reach and pulling the boy into a hug. He didn't notice how Harry had stiffened slightly at the contact, or that there was no other reaction from the boy. He just held him, because that's what he felt he needed to do. When Sirius felt that Remus had moved closer to them, he let go of Harry to let the other man say what he needed to. Only to be taken by surprise when he saw the man's face, tears in his eyes for this boy, this boy whom they both loved. Remus reached for Harry and pulled him to his chest; Harry melted into his arms and let himself feel all of the pain he'd been trying so hard to ignore. Remus whispered into Harry's ear as he cried, telling him that everything would be alright, that they'd both be there for him. Harry startled when he said that, when Remus said everything would be alright.
"But it's not." He whispered back, and the werewolf found he had nothing to say to that. It wasn't going to be alright. And nothing he could say would change that.