I present to you....the third chapter! Keep an eye out for text messages, broken bones, and pissed-off demons.

The good thing about having a key to Tseng's apartment- in Reno's mind, anyway- was that it gave him the opportunity to show up and coax Tseng into bed whenever he pleased. Like today. Honestly, Tseng had had the day off, so why not spend the entirely stress-free afternoon letting his coworker screw him into the mattress?

The instant Tseng heard the key turning in the lock, he groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. He wasn't here. He wasn't here. He wasn't fucking here.

"Yo, Tseng! Guess who got out early?" He kicked his shoes off and padded into the apartment. Huh. Tseng wasn't on the couch or in the office. He wasn't pottering around in the kitchen, either. Which left...the bedroom? "Don't tell me you're hungover or somethin'," he laughed, pushing the bedroom door fully open.

Damn. Clearly imagining himself elsewhere didn't actually take him anywhere. "Not now, Reno," he mumbled, lifting the pillow just enough to allow his voice to carry.

Reno ignored that and draped himself over what looked like Tseng's lower body. He had had an unusually good day, all things considered, and he intended to make it even better. "Whatsa matter, Bossman? Stay out too late last night?"

"I don't feel well," Tseng snapped, throwing his pillow in Reno's face. "Get off of me and go away." What he wouldn't give to have Vincent in Reno's place, though. At least he knew what sympathy was.

Reno grunted and batted the pillow away. "You're sick? Now? That ain't fair!"

Tseng sniffled to prove his point and pulled the blankets Reno had been stealthily pulling down back up. "Neither is life. Either get out or get me the throat lozenges from the bathroom."

"Great, now I'm a maid," Reno groused, but he got off the bed and went to fetch the lozenges. The faster Tseng was better, the sooner he got sex again.

Or that was what he planned on doing, until he found the strip of red fabric on the bathroom counter, lying beside two hair ties tangled with black hair far too long to belong to Tseng.

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Vincent shouldered the bag, still not entirely sure what a stuffed chocobo would do to help Tseng feel better. Marlene had insisted however, and he had agreed (since he couldn't say no to her).

Let's see... Chicken soup, orange juice, Advil, tea, honey... was he missing anything?

Condoms?

Vincent sighed. Not everything was about sex.

You didn't answer me.

No, no condoms. You know neither he nor I are ready for that yet.

'Cuz the place still reeks of Reno.

---------------------------

Reno stormed back out of the bathroom with the head scarf and hair ties clutched in one hand. "What the hell are these?" he hissed, thrusting them into Tseng's face. "And why are they in your bathroom?"

Tseng blinked at Reno's hand, then shrugged. "They're Vincent's. I was showing him how I put my hair up when I've got a messy job, and he forgot them here. Why?"

Maybe, if he just acted nonchalant about it, Reno wouldn't get more pissed off than he already was. He really didn't feel up to deal with a full-fledged Reno freak out.

-----------------------------

Vincent sighed. Well, just keep your comments to yourself, all right?

He rang the doorbell.

Poor Tseng doesn't need to know what goes on in my head.

If you insist.

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Tseng's eyes widened. Oh, no. No way. Vincent's timing couldn't be that bad, could it?

Reno whipped around, eyes narrowed. "You stay in bed," he growled. "I'll get that."

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Vincent knew that Tseng should be able to answer the door, even in his weakened state. Still, he was getting a tiny bit concerned as to why it was taking so long.

--------------------------------

Tseng burrowed under his blankets and prayed that there wouldn't be any bodies for him to deal with later.

Reno flung the door open. As he'd thought, it was him, standing there all smug and handsome and so not what Tseng needed. "What are you doing here, Valentine?"

I KNEW HE WAS HERE!

Vincent reeled inwardly from Chaos's howl of indignation. He took a deep breath, shook his head and said, "Why are you here, Reno?"

"Why am I here? I've got a key. What are you doing here? Tseng doesn't need visitors."

Vincent took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "He asked me to come over."

"Why would he want you?" Reno sneered, one hand reaching for his mag rod, just in case. "He's got me."

LET ME AT HIM!! I'LL RIP HIS THROAT OUT!

Will you relax?

Vincent gritted his teeth. "Reno," he managed as politely as he could, "please let me in."

He shifted to block the door. "Why should I?"

"Reno, if you do not-" he let Chaos turn his eyes gold, and lowered his voice, "-get out of the way, I'll be forced to remove you, or let my friend do it."

"Fuckin' freak," Reno hissed, but he backed out of the way, tense and ready to fight.

Vincent hurriedly pushed past him, not even bothering with courtesy as he went into the kitchen and deposited his items, trying not to lose his temper.

Sorry Vincent. I wasn't helping the whole control part, was I?

No. But we managed.

He grabbed the stuffed chocobo and a package of throat lozenges, throwing a look at Reno who was watching him warily. "Yes?"

Reno prowled after Vincent, getting more and more uncomfortable as he realized that Vincent had known, had come bringing things to make Tseng feel better. "You're not going back there."

"Like hell I'm not."

"I'm not kidding. You don't go any farther than this."

If I let you out, will you promise not to hurt him?

Then why are you letting me out?]

Because he's not being reasonable.

Fine. Can I rough him up a little?

No. You are not to injure him, am I clear?

Fine, fine.

He didn't like the way Vincent was looking at him. Didn't like it at all, and maybe that was why he threw the hair things at Vincent. "Don't leave your shit here."

Now?

Now.

Chaos opened his eyes, smiling at Reno. "'llo Reno. Fancy seeing you here."

Oh, fuck. That wasn't good. That wasn't good at all. Still, he snapped the mag rod out and flicked it on, only faintly comforted by the crackle of the charge. "I've got every right to be here."

"Do you, now?" Chaos set down the chocobo plushie and the lozenges and began a lazy stroll towards the young man, walking in a circle and studying him carefully.

Reno wasn't freaked out. He wasn't intimidated. But damn if he knew what he could do to stop something that had been on the Planet longer than the human race.

"Sure do," he growled, turning to keep his eyes on Chaos. "I've got a key and an open invitation."

"You see, I may be old, little boy, but I seem to recall that you don't touch other people's things. It's considered extremely," Chaos paused and his eyes bored holes into Reno's head, "rude."

"Then you can get the fuck out," Reno snapped, wondering where he'd gotten the courage to swear at Chaos from. "'cuz Tseng is mine."

"I didn't want to do this." He stepped forwards and grabbed Reno by his throat, lifting him off the ground. "I think you misunderstood me. Tseng picked Vincent. And when something belongs to Vincent, it also belongs to me."

Reno choked, flailing, but managed to summon the strength to smack Chaos right in the belly with his rod. Maybe it wouldn't help all that much, but that much voltage would hurt.

"I was here first, asshole."

Chaos grunted. Ouch. Well, if the boy wanted to play that game, so could he. He threw Reno onto the floor and pinned him there with a foot. "You didn't hear me the first time. Leave. Right. Now."

His breath left him in a painful rush. "My fucking turf," he gasped.

"You really don't listen do you? I'll spell it for you this time." With each word he put a little more pressure on Reno's chest. "M...I...N...E. Got that? MINE. Now, unless you want broken ribs, you will leave."

He would have argued, but he couldn't, between the lack of breathing and the pain of Chaos' foot pushing him down. He'd broken those ribs before, and they still hurt if you squeezed them just right, like the unnatural bastard was doing.

Instead, he nodded. He could always try again.

"Good. I'm going to let you up now. Give me your key, get your things, and leave."

"You're not taking my key," Reno hissed. "And my stuff stays where it is."

Chaos sighed. "Alright, it's your fault." With that, he exerted the right amount of force and heard the satisfying sound of ribs cracking.

Reno gasped in shock, not quite feeling it yet, and managed another clumsy swing into Chaos' leg.

"OW. All right, give me that." He snatched the weapon from Reno, and picked the Turk up. He fished in his pocket, finding the small key. "Where are your shoes?"

Oh. Ow. Now it was starting to hurt. Quite a bit, in fact. He pointed at the wall the door was set into, curling his free arm across his chest protectively- though a fat lot of good it was likely to do him.

"Aha." Chaos opened the door, tossed the shoes out, and lifted Reno to eye-level. "Now, if I find anything else that's yours, I'll make sure you get it back."

With that, he tossed Reno out the door into the hallway and locked the door behind him.

Reno landed in a heap with a squall of pain, but he didn't try to get back inside. He just lay there for a bit before putting his shoes on and leaving.

---------------------------------

You promised you wouldn't hurt him.

Chaos shrugged. "I didn't hurt him much."

Fine. Can I come back?

"Sure. Thanks for letting me out; we should do that more often."

As soon as he heard something- and it had to be a body- hit the wall, Tseng was sitting up, holding his breath. Had Vincent really.....or Reno? There hadn't been a gunshot, so maybe....no. He didn't want to think about it.

But he did scramble to his feet and hurry out of the bedroom when he heard the door slam.

Vincent picked up the chocobo and lozenges, and turned to see Tseng standing in the doorway of the bedroom. "Oh. Hello."

"Tell me he's alive," Tseng whispered, feeling intensely grateful that it was Vincent standing there. "I don't have the patience to train another Turk, Vincent, I really don't."

Vincent nodded. "He is- Chaos roughed him up a little, though- I believe he broke a few ribs."

"He's had them broken before, he'll be fine. But....you let Chaos at him?"

Vincent found himself blushing. "I was feeling... territorial, and Reno wasn't cooperating."

"I'm flattered," Tseng chuckled weakly. He didn't want to know the details. "You came faster than I thought you would...you didn't have to."

He smiled and held up the plushie. "Marlene sends Bob with her compliments."

"Clearly, Marlene isn't old enough to know that I prefer my snuggle buddies with a built-in heater, but the thought is appreciated."

Vincent chuckled. "Tifa also sent her homemade chicken soup, and I think I bought out all the orange juice at the mini-mart. Are you hungry at all? I brought some tea, too." He walked over to the cloth bag still sitting on the counter and emptied it out. "I got you peppermint and chamomile. There's some honey too, and aspirin."

"Honey," Tseng said at once. "And aspirin." He shuffled over and leaned on Vincent while he looked at everything Vincent had brought him. "Nothing else, right now."

"You're burning up. And you can't have just plain honey- how about honey and a bit of peanut butter on some crackers? And then orange juice and aspirin?" Vincent slid an arm around the younger man's waist.

You shoulda seen the look on Reno's face when I threw him out the door. It was priceless!

You and I are going to talk about that later.

"Honey for my throat. Aspirin for my headache. And you for body heat." He pressed close to Vincent with a small sigh.

"That is manageable. Go lie down, I'll bring you your honey and aspirin."

Tseng scowled, not willing to let go of Vincent long enough to go back to the warm spot he'd left in the bed. "I could just stay in here with you."

Vincent laughed and kissed Tseng's sweaty forehead. "Go rest. I'll bring it to you in a minute."

Huh. So the scowl of DOOM wasn't effective. Making a mental note to find a better weapon and responding with a little huff of indignation, Tseng returned to his bedroom, burrowing back under the blankets with a sigh. At least it was still sort of warm under there.

Vincent came in carrying a spoon of honey, a glass of water and two aspirin. "Here, Koi. This should do the trick."

"Honey and aspirin," Tseng insisted, going rather pink at the pet name. "Just those."

"Hmm? Just those?"

"And you," he corrected. "I don't need the water, thanks."

Vincent shrugged. "All right." He settled onto the bed and pulled off his jacket and shoes. "Didn't bother with the cloak today. It's too hot out." He was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. "Had to be prepared for cuddling."

Tseng swallowed the aspirin and squirmed close to Vincent, licking at the honey. "You're always ready for anything, aren't you?"

"I try to be." Vincent settled against the headboard, letting Tseng curl up with his head on his chest.

Tseng finished his honey and relaxed, fisting one hand in the excess fabric of Vincent's shirt. "Don't blame me when you get sick, though."

"Going to take more than contact with you to get me sick. Besides, I've already had it- Marlene and Denzel brought it home from school with them."

"So I don't get to return the favor, then." He shrugged, feeling faintly cheated. "But I get to blame you for getting me sick in the first place."

"Hmm?"

"I can't imagine where else I could have picked it up. Rufus and my team have been fine." He shifted long enough to prod Vincent's stomach. "That makes it your fault."

Vincent laughed. "All right fine. You win." He stroked through sweaty hair, noting that the fever wasn't going down. After a moment, he cleared his throat. "I... well, rather, Chaos, took Reno's key."

"Good. After the way he acted, I don't want him to have it anymore, for any reason." He half closed his eyes to the gentle petting. Mmm....that was nice.

"So... what does that mean then?"

"It means that our relationship is going to be nothing more than professional from this point on."

Excellent.

Vincent had to agree with Chaos' sentiment. "Does this mean I get to keep the key?" His tone was light and teasing, but he still wondered what Tseng would say.

Tseng moved so he could look up at Vincent. You didn't talk about these sorts of things with your face pressed against the other party's chest. "Do you want to keep it?"

Vincent nodded honestly. "Yes, I do."

"Then you should. Just...don't lose it, alright?"

"I won't." Vincent kissed Tseng's nose. "Now stop worrying, Koi, and get better."

Tseng sighed and stretched to kiss the corner of Vincent's mouth, then resettled, pulling the blankets up to his ears. "I'm not worrying. I just don't want to have to replace it if your mental guest likes hoarding shiny things."

I do not hoard shiny things!

"He would like me to inform you he does not hoard shiny things."

"Mmmm.....he certainly wears enough shiny bits to have me fooled."

I don't hoard them. They're part of the outfit!

It looked like Vincent and Chaos were having a little argument. Tseng was starting to recognize the expressions usually involved. Normally he liked to watch, but he was more concerned with sleep at the moment. He yawned, sniffled, and closed his eyes. "Let me know when he's no longer in denial."

"Will do. Pleasant dreams, Koichi."

"Mmh. Your accent needs work."

"I'm working on it."

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The following day…..

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Vincent sighed, settling onto the couch with remote in hand. He had sent the text early this morning to check on Tseng to see if he was feeling better. He hadn't heard back from him yet, and felt incredibly silly for using a text message when he could have just called him.

------

Tseng had made a mental note to change that ringtone to something less bouncy and had then rolled over and gone back to sleep that morning- who texted at 6am, anyway?- but when he woke up again, much later, the message was still unread. He opened it, and smiled, then typed up a response.

{Define better}

A moment later, this time "Tank" echoed through the room, and Vincent stared at his phone for a moment before picking it up and opening it to read. A smile split his face and he carefully texted back.

(Fever down?)

Oh, yes, he needed to pick a ringtone for Vincent as soon as he possibly could.

{No idea.}

As an afterthought, Tseng sent a second message.

{Feel like roadkill, instead of wanting to die. Counts?}

(Sure. Any sign of redhead?)

{One phone call. Very short. Hung up on him.}

(Good. I still feel bad about Chaos beating up on him... well, a little bit.)

{He needed it. BIG ego. Little brain.}

(I'm hoping that wasn't all that was little.)

{O///O}

Well. He could do a little dancing around the subject, but he supposed it was going to come up eventually.

(o.O? Did I say something wrong? I hate this damn gauntlet being so large and my phone being so small.)

{The implication was...suggestive.}

(Well, yes, but it was more to get you to laugh... I think.)

{So far you surpass him in everything. I have no reason to believe you are lacking anywhere.}

Vincent blushed. Well, that was interesting.

{Since when do you text?}

(Cloud showed me how to, and I thought I'd test it out.)

{Mmm....so he is good for something.}

(Be nice. Just because he doesn't like you doesn't mean... well, I guess I'm one to talk.)

{When he stops looking at me like I plan on eating his fiancé for breakfast or some other such nonsense, then I will be nice. Until then I reserve the right to be smarmy.}

(Fair enough. Marlene asked me before she left for school this morning if Bob made you feel better.)

Tseng smiled faintly and pulled the toy closer.

{Tell her yes. He makes a good pillow.}

(Good. She was worried about you- I was too.)

{No need to worry. Flu is not enough to put me down for long.}

(Glad to hear it. So, I wanted to ask you something.)

{I am all metaphorical ears.}

(When you're feeling better, would you like to go out again?)

Tseng blushed, fidgeting with his hair even though he knew Vincent couldn't see him.

{I would. Did you have somewhere in mind?}

(I don't know. I hear the carnival will be in town soon.)

{Carnival? I haven't been to one in......I don't even remember how long.}

(Really?)

{Really. It never occurred to me to go.}

{I have one rule}

(Yes?)

{Buy me a funnel cake.}

Tseng dimly remembered powdered sugar on his fingers in the hot confusion of a carnival years ago.

Vincent laughed.

(Of course. I love them.)

{You DO?}

(Yes. I also like corn in a cup, and roasted corn, and I haven't had a decent turkey leg in years.)

{Have fun with the turkey leg. I'm not touching it}

(Hehe. Don't tell me you and turkeys don't get along.)

{I have seen Elena demolish two on her own and am now scarred for life.}

(...whole turkeys? Damn.)

{Turkey legs. Don't get smart with me}

(Sorry, couldn't help it. Tifa's downstairs, Cloud's out somewhere, and the children are at school. I'm kind of bored and when I get bored, snark happens.)

{You can always come keep me warm.}

(I could do that. Do you still have that tea I brought you?)

{Most of it. Why?}

(Hmm. Because it's my favorite. Oh! I didn't know I could play bejeweled on this phone!)

{You are going to get hooked on that}

(Do you blame me? It's an addictive game.)

{I have kicked addictions. So can you}

Vincent chuckled, pulling on his cloak. (Well, I suppose then you'll have to find something more addicting for me to do.)

He grinned at the double meaning.

{That I can do.} Tseng smiled, pulling two blankets free of the bed and draping them around himself in preparation to shuffle out to the couch. {Any ideas?}