well this is the last post till june, hope you dont forget me! and that you like this segment!
earl: jax does not own nor will she ever own.
Jax: Not true! i'm planing on winning the lottery and then buying the rights from Katsura Hoshino.
komui: hope you like!
Allen: Hello to another segment of chat. I'm your host for tonight: Allen Walker.
Lavi: Moyashi, why are you the host?
Allen: It's Allen!
Lenalee: Allen-kun answers the question that's on everyone's mind.
Allen: Oh of course Lenalee, well you see after the last comment Jax made at the last segment,
(Flashback)
Jax: And if any of the dare or question are good or original, I'll lend Kanda out for an hour of services to do with as you please.
(End flashback)
Allen: Kanda beat her up so bad she's currently in the hospital. And she left a note saying that I would be the temporary host until she comes back!
Allen, Lavi and Lenalee: (looks to Kanda who is meditating in his chair)
Kanda: (looks over) What?
Lenalee: I thought you don't hit girls?
Kanda: She's the exception.
Allen: Why?
Kanda: Because moyashi,
Allen: It's Allen.
Kanda: (ignores Allen) She's more annoying then the usagi.
Lavi: So mean Yuu-chan
Kanda: Don't call me that!
Lenalee: Break it up you two we have letters to read. (Brandishes clipboard)
Kanda: Che
Allen: Thank you Lenalee. Now for our first letter comes from Escavitch and he say:
"Wow Kanda pretty hot, I was wondering if you're really a boy or a cross dressing girl. Either way I'm single (winks) and am always available for Yuu.
Escavitch"
Everyone: (silence)
Kanda: Moyashi that better be what it actually says or you're a dead man walking.
Allen: (grinning hands over the letter)
Kanda: (reads letter, goes into shock)
Lenalee: Kanda-kun.
Kanda: (no response)
Lenalee: Kanda.
Kanda: (no response)
Lavi: Yuu-chan! (Waves hand I front of his face)
Kanda: (no response)
Allen: Wow he must be really far-gone to not get mad at you.
Lavi and Lenalee: (nod head)
Lavi: Who is Escavitch anyway?
Allen: If I'm not mistaken he is Jax's little brother who is turning 13 in a couple of months.
Kanda: (wakes up) that was a TWELVE YEAR OLD BOY!
Lavi: (laughs) Wow Kanda you must be is first love.
Kanda: Shut it usagi!
Allen: Now Kanda answer the question.
Kanda: Look kid listens well and listen good. I am a guy and I am not interested!
Lenalee: (eyes sparkling) You didn't say your not gay so…
Kanda: (slightly blushing) I'm not!
Lavi and Allen: (evil grin) But your blushing!
Kanda: Baka! (Blushes harder)
Lenalee: So you're not gay but when we say you are you blush in embarrassment?
Kanda: (back to normal) Exactly!
Allen, Lenalee and Lavi: (look to each other, grin evilly and pounced on Kanda)
Kanda: Get off me you retards!
Lavi: Not until you tell us your sexuality!
Kanda: Get off me damnit!
Allen: (grabs Mugen) Tell us, or you wont see Mugen ever again!
Kanda (glares) I'm straight, ok I only blushed because the question caught me off guard, now give back MUGEN!
Lenalee: (huffs) Fine. Allen give kanda back Mugen.
Allen: (gives back Mugen) Alright now that that's over, the next question comes from-
(Door slams open)
Escavitch: JAX!!
Lavi: Holy shit! It's Yuu-chans crush!
Kanda: (growls) Usagi…
Escavitch: I don't know what she said but it's not true!
Lenalee: What are you talking about?
Escavitch: Jax she hacked my computer and went into all my profiles and changed EVERYTHING!
Allen: So Jax sent that letter?
Escavitch: What letter?
Everyone: (silence)
Escavitch: (leaves because of silence)
Kanda: She's a dead woman walking.
(At the hospital)
Jax: (Sneezes)
Nurse: Here are some vitamins honey.
(Back at studio)
Allen: Alright now this next letter is from Deadly Fangs and she says:
"Hello! I have a dare for Kanda and he has a choice between two.
1) Kiss Lavi for a full minute; or
2) Cut your hair short and dye it pink.
*evil grin* And if you don't do one of them, I'll have to write up another story like I did for "That Time Of Year". Remember that one Kanda? Only I'll make it ten times worse for you.
And for Allen...do you like/love Lenalee? Tell the truth, we'll still love you if you do or don't.
Deadly Fangs"
Kanda: Damn the fan girls to hell. That author actually made me hate Daisya for a while.
Lenalee: Or fan boy, you can't really tell with that name.
Kanda: Trust me from her other stories concerning me…(shudders) she's a she.
Lavi: So what do you choose Yuu-chan?
Kanda: Damnit usagi don't call m that!
Allen: So Kanda what do you choose?
Kanda: Why don't you go first moyashi?
Allen: (shrugs) Fine, I like Lenalee in a sisterly way. Your turn kanda.
Kanda: (curses in Japanese) Fine come here usagi.
Lavi: (blushes) Wait, Ka- (gets kissed by kanda, neither of them move)
Lenalee: (with camera) This is boring.
Allen: The letter only specified kiss it didn't specify what type of kiss though.
Kanda and Lavi: (done kissing)
Lenalee: Next letter. Lavi do you want to read?
Lavi: Sure! Ok so this is from Chu545,
Allen: (pales)
Lavi: And she writes:
"Hi!
Can I dare Kanda to kiss Lavi!
That's all I have to ask right now. Lucks with your story!
Chu545"
Still Lavi: What the hell!
Allen: (laughs in both relief and humour)
Kanda: Shut it moyashi andChu545, we just did that fucking dare so; no we will not do it again! Next letter!
Lenalee: (looking at camera) But Kanda…
Kanda: NEXT LETTER!
Lenalee: (huffs) Fine, but I'm reading it! (Grabs letter from Allen) This is from PurplePunkette and she writes:
"Hurrah torture timee~! :3
Jax, you is awesomeness~!
So shut up Allen-kun!
Anyways, Hii everybody!! *waves* Lavi, ILOVEYOU!! Will accept my heart!??!? PLEASE? 3 I'll love you forever!
Hehe okay I dare Kanda to dress up in a frilly pink princess dress,hot pink boots,and put a pink bow in his hair~!
Hrmm I also dare Lavi to kiss Allen-kun for 3 whole minutes at least!
Okay Happy Writing~!
Loves for Lavi-Bunnies and Allen-Girls,
Punkette"
Lavi: Sure I'll accept your heart! And I will always treasure it.
Allen: Flirt.
Lavi: Jealous moyashi?
Lenalee: So Kanda about your dare…
Kanda: No fucking way am I going to wear that. I am never going to change my looks for some fan girls (Lavi: or fan boys) amusement. I never will so get that through your head!
Lenalee: (sigh) Fine, alright Lavi, Allen your turn.
Allen: Oh damnit it all.
Lavi and Lenalee: (eyes wide and in union) You just swore!
Allen: So? I have to kiss my best mate! And all you care about is that I swore? (Screams last part to Lavi)
Lavi: Right…
Allen: You know what? I'm not doing it! I am not do- (Kanda bashes Allen's head with Lavi's starting the kiss, both of them don't move.)
Lenalee: Aw come on reviewers! Actually specify the type of kiss so that they can't get out of it, and I can get some hot steamy yaoi goodness.
Kanda: What's yaoi?
Lenalee: (looks to Kanda, expression blank) You don't want to know Kanda, you don't want to know.
Allen and Lavi: (done the kiss)
Kanda: Usagi what does yaoi mean?
Lavi: Hmm (in thought), I don't know.
Kanda: Che. Really helpful usagi.
Lavi: Why do you ask?
Kanda: Why else? I wanted to know what it means.
Allen: Alright then this next letter comes from YukiaSmith01 and she wrote:
"OMG :D
Umm.. haha.. I wanna know Allen's and Kanda's opinion on Yullen !! XP
I also DARE Kanda and Lavi to get DURNK xD
That'll be fun to see CX
YukiaSmith01"
Lenalee: (starts laughing uncontrollably.)
Allen: What's Yullen?
Lavi: (shrugs) Maybe its food?
Allen: (shakes head) No or else I would know it.
Kanda: Books?
Lavi: I haven't read a book that ever mentions this "Yullen"
Allen: Hmm.
Lenalee: (left the stage do to her laughing fit)
(5 minutes later)
Lavi: Jewellery?
Kanda: An ancient language?
Lavi: A brand of cheese?
Allen: An animal?
Lavi: Condoms?
Kanda: … No comment.
Lenalee: (comes back in) What are you talking about?
Allen: We're trying to figure out what Yullen is.
Lenalee: You really don't know?
Lavi: No. But you seem to know. So what is it?
Lenalee: Kanda remember when you asked me what yaoi is?
Kanda: (looks confused at the sudden question) Yeah, why?
Lenalee: It means boyxboy.
Lavi and Kanda: (eyes wide, then both blush madly)
Allen: (all innocent) What does that mean?
Lavi: (face palms)
Lenalee: Well Allen it means two male lovers.
Allen: Oh… but what does that have to do with the question?
Lenalee: Well Yullen is a yaoi pairing.
Allen: But then who is paired together?
Kanda: (a horrified look crosses his face as he finally figures it out)
Lavi: (starts laughing uncontrollably when he figured it out)
Lenalee: Well Allen-kun who was the letter addressed to? (A/N: Allen's innocence is about to die right…)
Allen: Well it was addressed to both Kanda and…(now) Aw no, no, no, no, no, no! Gross. Never!
Kanda: For once I agree with you moyashi.
Allen: Lets never speak of this again shall we Kanda?
Kanda: Lets.
Lenalee: Alright Lavi, Kanda time for the second part of you dare! (pulls out a bottle of alcohol)
Allen: (goes back to his trauma time with cross)
Lavi: Wait how do you randomly have a bottle of alcohol with you.
Lenalee: When I was out of the studios I went and go the bottle, now stop talking and drink! (Gives a glass to both Lavi and Kanda)
Lavi: Alright lets get this over with. (Takes his glass and drinks)
Kanda: Fine. (drinks his as well)
(6 glasses later)
Lavi: ALLLENNNN!!! I LURVVVE YOUUUU!!!!
Allen: That's nice Lavi. (carelessly flips through a book)
Lavi: WHAAAA! YUU-CHAN! ALLLEN DOESN'T LOVE ME!
Kanda: Shush little usagi, (hold Lavi in a loving embrace) he's a baka for not loving you and it's his loss if he doesn't like you. You're a great person.
Lavi: Thanks you so much Yuu-chan you're my bestesfriend evar!
Kanda: (smiles) And you're mine Usagi!
Allen: (sighs) Seeing as we need those two sober for us to answer the rest of your letters we will have to call this a segment. Oh yes and I have an important message from Jax to give you. She says, "that if a dare is asked to be done twice that we will ignore it." So yeah you guys are going to have to get really creative here. Well remember to leave us a note on how you liked it. I am Allen Walker temporary host signing off.
Lavi and Kanda: (singing)
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick.
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick!
Lenalee: This is sooooo going on the Internet!
Jax: yay im out of the hospital! (looks in studios) WTF is going on here?
KAnda: i luff you (takles and nuzzles face into hair)
Jax: shit why are you drunk? and what the hell is-
escavitch: (comes out of nowhere) Jax you are so dead for hacking my accounts!
jax: well i wiouldn't have if you had let me on the family computer 2 weeks ago so i could update my ipod.
(the two continue to bicker)
Allen: please review so she doesnt kill us all!
R&R