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Chapter 3

When Ryan woke up, he was lying on a street in the hot Miami sun. It took him a while to wake up fully. But then everything came back to him. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then tried to get up. His hands automatically reached for the brown paper bag that was lying next to him. He opened it. Inside were his gun, his batch and his cell phone… His cell phone. He checked it. 28 unanswered calls. He flipped through the list. Eric Delko, Nicole Ferguson, Nicole Ferguson, Nicole Ferguson, Eric Delko, Nicole Ferguson…. 26 calls by Nicole…. He would have to explain that, but right now, he had other things to do. He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the sharp pain all over and inside his body and walked home.

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He arrived there about almost an hour later. He had to take a few breaks because the pain wouldn't let him walk on. But finally, he had reached his front door. He didn't know that there was somebody looking at him when he entered his flat. He was just too focused on not hitting something and on not passing out in the middle of the floor. When he arrived in his bathroom and looked in his mirror, he had to take a deep breath to stop himself from throwing up. His shirt was bloodstained. The lace around his neck had left marks. And his face… He shook his head. And that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that he had given up. Not for his own sake. But for the sake of Billy Gantry. His sponsor's son. The moment they had brought his name in, his whole strength had left him. He had tried to convince them, and in the process convince himself that the Russians would never find him. But the Russian had pretty fast convinced him that they would. Ryan didn't know how they had managed, but he didn't want to risk anything. So he had told them he would do what ever they wanted. He took a deep breath again. He had to get control over this. As fast as possible. Before anybody got hurt. Well, anybody else than Ryan Wolfe. He sighed when he suddenly heard loud music in front of his window. God damn it, it was early morning. What bastard was playing Christina Aguilera at that volume at 8 a.m.? Oh Lord have mercy on my soul, for I have walked a sinful road" (1). He shook his head. Christina had no idea… He splashed some water into his face. Then he walked over to the kitchen, grabbed the salt and walked back to the bathroom. Hopefully, the missing tooth would not mean an infection, because he was pretty sure that Russian guy hadn't bothered to properly clean his pliers… He closed his eyes. The pain when this guy had yanked his tooth out had been more terrible than anything else. Besides the sheer thought that Billy could be hurt. He could still hear the Russian's voice saying Everything I did to you, I could do to him… Please Lord, no…. He poured some salt into a bit of water and just wanted to take a sip of it to disinfect the wound in his mouth when he heard a violent knocking at his front door. The fear came back immediately. What if the guy had decided he needed still a bit more convincing? What if they had decided he wasn't worth it and would kill him now? He swallowed.

But then he heard the voice. "Open the god damn door immediately, or I'm going to blow it down!"

Ryan walked over to the door, not opening it, but only asking, "Nicole?"

"Yes, it's me, now open that door!"

"I'm naked. What do you want?"

"I don't give a damn about you being naked or not!!!!!! Do you know I've been looking for you all night?????? Why the fuck didn't you pick up you phone????? I had to bother little Amy to call me as soon as you arrived, and she called me just now!!!!"

Ryan frowned and looked through the peephole in his door. Indeed, Nicole was still dressed in the same clothes as the day before. Her usually neat hair was carelessly combed and put into a pigtail. He grinned a bit despite the horrible night that lay behind him, "Yeah, I see, you look great. But there was no need for it…"

"Open the door!!!! Your neighbours are already looking at me."

"I don't know why you…."

"Ryan, I'm not kidding, open the door!!!!!!!"

"Nicole, it's alright, okay. Just go home and take a shower, or else you're gonna fall asleep during work. I see you there…."

But she only continued knocking violently, "I can do this for hours and hours, so open the door now."

Ryan leaned against the door. He wanted to open. Not only because Nicole's knocking was giving him headaches, but because he didn't want to be alone. He knew nobody from the team could help him, or would help him, for that matter. He felt alone. Once again. He had felt alone a couple of times since joining the crime lab. The last time when he had been fired. And there, Nicole had been there. But this was different. He had to be alone. Any person he would confide in was in danger. But damn it, he was only human. And he knew that he needed to confide in somebody. Like when he had confide in Ron after his father had thrown him out. Well, not really. There were still some things about that night he hadn't even told Ron. Not the parts where his father had beaten him. That was nothing he was ashamed of. But he hadn't told Ron what his father had forced him to do. And he didn't tell Ron, and he never would tell Ron or anybody that his father had even spit on him. That was one thing he would take with him into his grave. And, if it were any possible, he would take everything the Russian had done to him to his grave as well. But he knew he couldn't. His hand started moving to the door knob. He wanted help. He knew he was risking Nicole's life, and he wished he was stronger than this. But all his walls were down now. He was vulnerable. He knew he would regret it at some point that he brought Nicole in this situation, but right now, he just needed help… He opened the door.

Nicole pushed it open, "And there I thought I would end this morning with a broken hand from all that knocking…" She walked in – and froze on the spot. Her hand moved to the door, closed it. When it was shut, she just asked, "What did they do to you?" No questions about who did it, no hysterical shouting. Ryan didn't have to calm her down, which he would have not been able to do. She was as calm as could be.

Ryan swallowed, "The Russians. Ivan Sarnoff's people…. Nicole, I'm sorry…"

"Don't talk such rubbish. Shall I call a doctor?"

"No, no…" He leaned against the door. "They… Nicole, I don't know what to do."

"Wait. Wait. You go and patch yourself up. If you need any help, call me. I'm going to pour some coffee. Or tea. I think I could use a tea now…"

Ryan nodded and walked over to the bathroom. At the door, he stopped again, "You know, you could also just go home. It's still time. You could just go and forget what you've seen."

"And leave a friend alone? Yeah, right. Where is your coffee?"

Ryan watched her for a few seconds rummaging through his perfectly organized kitchen which she would probably turn upside down, then locked himself up in the bathroom.

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He got out half an hour later, after he had checked a few times in the mirror if he looked like a human being again. Nicole sat at his table, a cup of coffee in her hand, the morning paper in the other. She looked up from it when she heard him. After a few seconds she said, "You could actually get away with it… I mean, except for the cut on your lip… and the missing tooth…. and the marks around your neck…"

"So practically, they gonna suspect something as soon as they see me… And you, for that matter…."

"What about me?"

Ryan poured himself a cup of coffee, "Actually, you don't really look much better than me. Bags under your eyes, your hair is a mess, and your clothes look as if Frankie had dragged you along the beach and through the woods…."

Nicole looked down at herself and the mud on her shirt and skirt. "Well, actually she did. Every time I tried to call you, she dragged me and I fell."

"You can use my shower if you want…"

"Later. Now tell me, what are they asking and what are we gonna do?"

Ryan hesitated, "You know, it's still…."

"Cut that crap."

"Okay, okay. Now, in short. The Russians asked me to do anything that needs to be done to set one of their men free. It's gonna happen today. If I don't…" now he closed his eyes. "If I don't help them, they're gonna hurt Billy. Billy Gantry. I have to do it…"

"And there is no way out?"

"I've seen… I've felt what these people are capable of. I don't want Billy to have to go through the same. Nobody, for that matter. I just have to do it…"

Nicole nodded, "Okay. What's the plan?"

"I will be on the scene, hopefully. I will do anything to make their guy go free. And as soon as I know Billy is safe, I'm going to tell Horatio."

Nicole nodded, "And what shall I do?"

"You're not part of this…"

"Yeah, that's what you say. I say different. Tell me how I can help you."

Ryan swallowed. He hadn't expected that. He had expected her screaming and telling him how wrong he was. Not her offering him her help. "You jeopardize your job. Your career. Your freedom…."

"Yeah, I know. What do you want me to do?"

He sighed, "Your choice. Can you find out where the Gantrys are? The… guy said they were back in Miami. And… if you find them, can you watch Billy? From far away? Take care that he doesn't get kidnapped?"

"Sure." She got up. "But before, I'm going to shower. You don't have a spare shirt for me by any chance?"

"Sure…. And Nicole?"

"Yeah?"

He smiled, for the first time since right before the Russian has started to beat the crap out of him, "Thanks. I don't know how I can pay you back…"

She returned the smile, "Don't let them break you." She closed the bathroom door behind her, and a minute later, she stood in the shower singing, "I got my bags packed baby and I'm ready to go, look at my eyes rocksteady…." (2)

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She got out of the shower half an hour later, only covered in a towel. "Can I have the shirt now?"

Ryan, who had been cleaning the dishes, turned around and dropped the plate he was just holding. "Err…. It's lying on the… bed…. I mean, table…"

Nicole grinned, "I see…"

Ryan had blushed, "Ey, it's just because I wasn't prepared…" Then he smiled a bit, "But well, after almost 14 hours of… well, it's a sight for sore eyes."

"Yeah, but only after 14 hours of torture…"

"I didn't mean it like that…."

She laughed, "I know, I know. Just trying to ease you up a bit…" She grabbed the shirt, and returned to the bathroom. Two minutes later, she got out fully dressed again. "I look as if I were twice my size in this…"

Ryan nodded, "Kinda, yeah. But then again, some people can wear everything. I'm just worried that Travers will notice that you're wearing another guy's shirt…"

"If I don't end up a DB with trace on the shirt, he won't notice. He's a scientist. When I left his shower the first time with only a towel, he was only worried about me catching a cold… Whereas I would have wished he'd just…."

"Are you still trying to ease me up?"

She grinned, "I can see a bit of a smile…"

He nodded, "A bit yeah. If I wasn't so scared…" He bit his lower lip, forgetting the cut on it. It started bleeding right away. "Oh crap!" He reached out for a Kleenex when Nicole made him sit on a chair.

"Let me look at it…" She knelt down before him, but he shied away immediately.

"It's okay… I can do this…"

Nicole looked puzzled, but she didn't push, "Okay. Then I guess I go and find Billy. Wish me luck."

He walked her to the door. "Good luck…" He closed the door behind her and slid down on the floor. He was an idiot. Here she was, offering her help, risking everything, and he wouldn't even let her touch him. He shook his head. He had to apologize, but that had to wait…

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(1) Christina Aguilera – Mercy on me

(2) All Saints - Rocksteady

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