II. Officers and The Role of the Council
Leadership of the Warblers is comprised officially of a three-member student led council and (when appropriate to do so and when he isn't choosing sex songs as performance choices. Please note, if the Council accepts the painfully oblivious excuse of the soloist didn't know it was a sex song once, certain members of the Council will be disinclined to allow such potentially polarizing choices to be permitted in the future) the primary soloist.
The Council is the highest authority of The Warbler Organization because this organization does not have a faculty advisor. The Warblers have been permitted to be without the normally required faculty sponsorship since 1914, when during an a trip to Columbus to see then-President Woodrow Wilson the faculty advisor, an English teacher believed to be the infamous Shelley (of the well known Shelley Curse) whispered among students at finals, made a drunken spectacle of himself during the speech by unflatteringly saying the Warblers were named after the double-chin of the wife of an important advisor of the President. The teacher in question was promptly dismissed and as it wasn't competition season (and there were no Gaps at this time, or nursing homes to perform in) the Warblers were allowed to remain without an advisor for the rest of the year. With the subsequent entry into World War I depleting the pool of acceptable candidates for Faculty Advisor, the requirement was eventually dropped from the initial founding charter of the Warblers. (And I would just like to point out the scant record from this period does, in fact, contain numerous mentions of gavels, so there is precedence and you all need to just let it go. The gavel is staying.)
However, as per Warbler Kurt's suggestion, there has been a proviso added to this policy known henceforth as the Sue Sylvester Stipulation. If a competing glee club attempts to ban Warblers from competition on the grounds that we do not have a faculty advisor, the Dean himself has generously agreed to be the official Warbler faculty advisor should the need arise.
(Generous my ass. I caught him in a…uh…compromising position. Suffice it to say, it comes in handy to have the Dean under your thumb every now and then. And the rest of the current Warblers would like to point out that Wes really needs a girlfriend. Badly. And they are a little disappointed in Warbler Kurt for not thinking of using his resources at McKinley High to rectify this situation.-David)
(That would be because I actually like the friends I have there and want to keep it that way. Now if you want to actually discuss changing the piping on the jackets? I'll consider it. - Kurt)
It is clear that the current members (and hopefully future Presidents will not have this issue that I am repeatedly forced to deal with), need to be reminded about what exactly the duties of the President of the Council consist of. With any position of such great power comes great responsibility. (Ok I told you all. Don't let him watch Spiderman. Honestly. Listen to me. – David) As I was saying, the President is, in many ways, the public face of the Warblers within the halls of Dalton. He is the liaison between the general Warbler members and the administration of the school. He is also charged with budgetary management and must ensure the meetings run in a timely, productive and orderly manner. During competition season, the President is responsible for ensuring all regulations regarding registration are followed and is the representative to interact with the judges. In short, it's a lot more than just sitting around and banging a gavel so quit saying that.
The Vice President will step in for the President if he is unfit for duty. His primary function in meetings is to read the agenda. (Actually I'm also in charge of creating that budget you manage Wesley. I'll thank you to quit mocking me sir! – Thad)
The third member of the council is the Secretary (Historian! It's not that hard to remember and you're just doing this because I let Kurt bedazzle your gavel – David). It is the job of the Secretary (HISTORIAN!) to record the official minutes of every meeting of the general membership and the Council meetings. The Secretary (HIS-TOR-I-AN. HISTORIAN) is also responsible for keeping a list of all songs performed in all performances, both impromptu and planned, so an embarrassment such as singing the same set list twice (as in the shameful affair known as the Crawford-McCauley Debacle in 1952 whereby the same set of songs were chosen to sing to two different all-girls' schools and the soloist accidentally thanked the lovely ladies of McCauley for their hospitality during the visit at Crawford Country Day, thereby limiting the dating pool of then-current and immediately future Warblers by a considerable margin) does not occur. Should the Council choose to preview a possible competition song for an audience; he is also responsible for taking an exit poll to gauge the effectiveness of the song. For future reference, said answers should include more constructive performance notes than "The soloist is so cute." Or "Seriously, if those guys had made out? Been so hot."
(For the last time, that's what they said. It's not my fault two certain someones were living in denial about just being friends or not being completely obvious. And come on, like the big phallic bubble machine HELPED with that issue! Let it go, Wes. Let it go. – David)
Although not an official member of the Council per se, the lead soloist is often consulted by the Council when it comes to song selection. Although the Council ultimately has final song selection, in certain cases soloists who have proven themselves not obsessed with singing sex songs in public are permitted to choose songs independent of Council approval. It should go without saying that said privilege is better served for impromptu performances rather than major competitions such as Regionals but it apparently needs to be said. The lead soloist is preferably an upperclassman with at least a year of Warbler membership. Dancing skills, while not a current requirement for membership, are preferable but jumping on inanimate objects and throwing massive amounts of paper in the air are reasonable substitutes.
There has been some mention in the available history in which a secondary soloist is necessary. While the current leadership has not seen the need for it during this school year, it must be stated that should future Warblers decide to pursue this option, the primary and secondary soloist cannot use rehearsal time to practice making out. Furthermore, the primary soloist should not use the opportunity as an excuse to spend time with the secondary soloist. Any time allotted for practicing should be spent actually practicing the duet, not perfecting kissing skills. Any and all activities pertaining to romantic pursuits should be done outside of rehearsal.
(Kurt and Blaine, we're happy for you guys, we really are. But you're giving us all caviities! Stop it!—Wes, David, et. al. )