Author's Note: Alright. Yay update! Boo short chapter. They'll probably all be this short since I have no idea what I'm doing. And I apologize to those few people who first read this and had hopes for it to be serious. And if any of those people would like to give me any suggestions, I'll be happy to rewrite this as a different story. But this story is officially going to be used for me to blow off steam, torture Jess, and make me laugh. Sure, not all of it will make you laugh. For many, none of it will make you laugh. And I apologize for my sorry attempts to entertain you. This one will probably be especially not funny. There's a lot of inside stuff for my girlies in this one. So if something sounds weird, then just laugh. You won't get it but trust me, it's funny.
Disclaimer: I keep forgetting to put these in my stories. Is that bad? Well I don't own Gilmore Girls or any characters from Gilmore Girls. But I do own a girl I shall make up and name Zola and a boy whose name shall be Kal-El (but I don't own this name! if you can figure this one out you shall win my love forever.) Oh! And I own Mike! Well, I don't exactly own him. But he is color blind!
Now what?
Where was he supposed to go? Home? But where was home really? With his mother? The beach whore? He didn't think so. Back to Luke? There were many reasons for that to not work. Luke was always trying to boss him around. Jess could never understand why adults did that. They know that they're really not in charge. They should stop trying to protect their precious egos and admit it. He also lived in the little corner of the world that is also referred to as hell? No way. Plus, Rory was there. He may have had a chance with her once, but he definitely screwed that up.
Why did he have to go and climb all over that one girl in front of Rory? But hey! He was a pretty good boyfriend to that one girl. Sure he didn't remember her name! Sure he barely remembered what she looked like! Sure he was selfish in bed! And sure he was always thinking about Rory when they were together! But he never cheated on her! He did the decent thing and broke up with her before he tried to get in Rory's pants! Well, sure he did try many times to do it while he and that other girl were together! But hey! It's not cheating unless you have sex!
It wasn't long before he got tired of walking around the same block over and over again. Hey! He had nowhere else to do! And if he went anywhere else, he might get lost! He kept walking though. He wanted to pass the apartment with the dog and the cat in the window. He had already named the dog Attica and the cat Gorgeous. Jess never had any pets. Maybe he would get some after he stopped walking around the block.
He finally stopped making left turns and started walking straight. After a couple of straight blocks, he passed a Seven Eleven. He stopped outside and watched a few people go in. He remembered what his driver school teacher, Mike, had once told him. He finally saw what he was looking for. Some tall guy dressed in a business suit got out of his car and ran inside the Seven Eleven. He didn't lock the door. Hell! He didn't even turn off the engine. Poor rich, snot-nosed, bastard. It was cold outside and he probably wanted his car all nice and warm for him and his coffee. Oh well! The car was Jess' now.
He went to the store with his new car and money that he found sitting on the passenger seat (Was the guy a complete dumbass?) and bought the necessities. A can of chocolate frosting and a medicine spoon to eat it with, a few Star Wars action figures, a package of balloons, a dog leash, and a box of condoms. Sure he probably wasn't going to need the condoms anytime soon, but he knew the cashier would give him a look that would keep Jess laughing for days