Disclaimer: I apparently don't own Batman. We need to fix this...
Falcone was muttering under his breath. He had been like this for days and I was completely and utterly satisfied with my little experiment. Scarecrow, on the other hand, was fiercely overprotective of his imbecile crush. He would have been happy about this if it weren't for the little kiss that he and Falcone had shared without my notice. There had been replays in my mind while Scarecrow fought for dominance. The scene had made me vomit more than enough times.
"Scarecrow... Scarecrow..." Falcone muttered under his breath as he twitched on his cot that he was strapped down to.
"Orange suits him..." Scarecrow said, dreamily while I had been observing him.
"Shut up, Scarecrow.." I told him and walked into the room where Falcone was residing in for the moment. I faintly heard Scarecrow make a comment about Falcone muttering his name and shuddered. This was ridiculous.
"Coast is clear, Carmine. No one else is here." I said, bored. I set down my clipboard on the table across the room and unstrapped him from the cot. Falcone sat up and grinned.
"I got a juicy one for you, Crane." Falcone laughed as he sat up. His act was off. He wasn't crazy. However, he was terrified of me so he did what I told him to. I was in charge of the asylum and he wouldn't dare mess with me at the moment.
"What is it?" I asked, a hint of excitement betraying me in my voice. I coughed in an attempt to disguise it.
"Well, one of my guys found this one yesterday." Falcone stated. "It said, 'Jonathan Crane is gayer than a fruit bat and has the hots for Batman!'" he looked proud of the statement.
I rolled my eyes, but a confused look crossed my expression. "Fruit bats are gay? Explains a lot.. Maybe the Bat does like guys..." I said. Scarecrow gave a little jolt of excitement. "And no, I am not gayer than a fruit bat. And therefore, I do not have the hots for Batman. And even if I did, I'd think a guy as crazy as the Batman would come with a little too much baggage, if you know what I mean..." I scoffed and brushed my collar off.
"Hey! Don't ruin my chances with Batman! If me and Falcone don't work out-"
"But what about-"
"And Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik, then Batman is my next choice! The ears are sexy!"
"So, I saw this other one a little while ago and it was pretty funny. It was, 'Jonathan Crane sleeps with ten women a night.'" I said. "'And they're all older than ninety.'"
Falcone hooted out booming laughter and slapped his knee. "Wow, I mean, I always knew you were a sexy beast but ten women a week over ninety?!" he laughed even louder. "That's a good one! So... Is it true?"
"NO! I've never slept with a woman over ninety!" I yelled, blushing red in the face.
"Well what about-"
Falcone looked at me with disbelief. "Really? Why are you blushing?"
"Well there was this one time..."
Falcone laughed. "Who knew Jonathan Crane-"
"Was into cougars?!"
I picked up my clipboard and left the room abruptly. Before I went, I turned to face Falcone. "I think our session is over. We will resume in a week."
A/N: So this was another installation of Jonathan Crane Responds To Rumors. Please PM me with rumors you have heard and speculate will make this story better. Pms make my day because even the Good Doctor gets bored. If you want to ask me any questions, or just talk to me, please PM me. I would love to 'chat' with others out there. Or if you want to talk to Scarecrow, both are available.
Sincerely,
Scarecrow and Dr. Jonathan Crane
(Scarecrow insisted his name go first.)