A While by Paz Enai
Part 3: Priorities
It had been a long while for us on the streets. I have lost all trace of time. I suppose that I should've kept better track of time, at least so that I could be aware of the year, but I guess that it is too late for that.
Nife still reminds me of Heero to no end. Every day I am forced to pause and ask him what his name is.
"DAD! You know who I am! Stop Kiddin' around!" is what he always says in response. Ah, but a serious matter has shown itself. I have been doing all that is in my power to keep things from worsening. I had to resort to stealing again. I'm sorry, but it had to be done.
All my work and dedication; I feel like a failure, but for the sake of my children I have to keep strong. Crypt, my only daughter, and Sight, my youngest son, who remind me of Trowa and Quatre respectively, have both come down with mono. I realized all too soon as to the symptoms that they were having were similar to that of the symptoms I learned were related to how I lost Solo.
Generally speaking mono doesn't kill, but when you live on the streets, the rules tend to change a bit. I've had to find a place where the two of them can rest without disturbance. It was hard to come across such a place and even now I don't like leaving them alone in the tunnel. Nife promised me that if Kayle and Dive could get food, that he would be more than happy to look after his younger siblings. I felt honored to see how much he has matured in what has felt like a short time.
As for what I was up to in all of this? Well, I would never openly suggest to my children to steal, ever. So naturally, I had to do this part on my own. I've been breaking into the hospital at times, usually claiming to be visiting someone, or at the nightly change of guards. The problem with this is that after a while people start to recognize you. I've been doing a lot of traveling as a result. If I stay too close to the hide out when I steal, then people will be able to track me down and my kids, so I have been leaving them majoricaly alone.
I haven't been eating much. I'm too worried about Crypt and Sight to remember to care for myself. I can't seem to find the proper medicine at all of the hospitals however, so lately I've had to broaden my search to pharmacies. It's relatively cold out, so I can go in without sticking out too much as well as having plenty of space to hide the medicine. After all, as soon as you pull off the UP code, the metallic buzzer won't go off, so I've been doing pretty well. I head back each morning and really only get to see my kids for a short time before I have to go out and secure the area around us and get more food for them, only to realize that I can't remember the last time I ate and then have to leave again.
I'm getting skinnier I can feel it. But until my kids get better, this is how things are going to stay.
Well, out of all of my kids, only Dive didn't get the symptoms of mono. I know he's been exposed, but at least he didn't get the full-blown virus. Nife should hopefully be the last one. I doubt that I will be getting it, since my chance should have happened 10..no..12 years ago, I think. Unfortunately, I'm almost out of places to get medicine. Nife's been really good about the whole thing, but I still have to do what I can. With Nife sick, I don't feel safe leaving the kids behind any more. I always felt safer when I knew that they were all with him. Now that he's down for the count, I feel too held back.
I had to leave though. I told them that not one of them was to leave the tunnel where they were hiding out. Stay together. Don't get into fights. Hide. I'll be back as soon as God will let me. Nife always scoffed when I said God. But hearing him like this brought a tear to my eye and I had to run off before I started to cry in front of them. I couldn't let my kids see me falter. That would make me look weak. How would I be able to protect them if I was unable to pull myself together, right?
I was gone and four districts over. I got the medicine and was on my way out, and then...what?
When I came too I was in a bed. I knew for certain that a bed was no place where I belonged. I HAD to get out of wherever I was. My son needed me. I tried to get up, but a sharp pain ran down my right side, from my ear all the way to my hip. I was forced to lie back down. I panicked for a moment because I couldn't figure out what I had done to myself to render such damage. I tried to at least move my head, but again, no avail. From what I was able to see, I was in the lower bed of a bunk bed, the height was too high for it to have been a triple.
I heard a noise, a door being opened and closed and then footsteps. Familiar noises. In fact, weren't those the noises of an... orphanage?
Again fear ran through me. Where are my kids? It was all I could think about. I heard a group of footsteps get awfully close to me and forced my body to turn and look to its source. An elderly woman with a middle aged couple and, I'm guessing, their two daughters and son, whom I presume was the middle child.
They looked at me, first sadly, then with an almost glee in their expressions, but I have no time for this.
"WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN!" I blurted out to the elderly woman. She just stared at me like a squirrel in headlights (much too stupid looking to be a deer). I stirred and forced myself, painfully I might add, to sit up, and faced her, feet on the floor.
"Excuse me young sir? What did you say?" She replied, voice fitting her expression.
"I said, WHERE the FUCK are my GODAMN children. Did you hear me that time? Where the Hell am I? Am I still in the Winnipeg region?" I yelled as I forced myself to stand and bite back the pain that it caused, her taking a defensive step backwards.
Again, dumb stares, this time from the surrounding children as well as the family hovering over me.
"I'm sorry, but we are not in the Winnipeg region, we are located in Regina. This is the Regina Care Orphanage. This wonderfu-"
"-THE FUCK! HOW THE HELL DID I END UP HERE! This is almost 600 km away from where I was! How in God's name did I end up here? Where are my children? Don't you dare tell me that they aren't here," I said as a noticeable waver inserted itself in my throat. I started to panic "How many days have I been here, and HOW did I get here?"
There was an armed robbery at the store you were at. You were taken into the orphanage hospital since we recognized you as the Molonigal boy." The name made me freeze. I had forgotten about that. " You've only been out for three days."
"THREE DAYS!" and I nearly fell over backwards." My Son Is PROBABLY DEAD ALREADY!" I cried out in utter panic, regaining balance and pouncing up close to the woman. "Take me to Winnipeg RIGHT NOW. The Molonigal thing can wait." I commanded her, but she didn't move.
"The Molonigals have been waiting 17 years just to see you, and you're going to make them wait again?" All of the children, heh funny to say when some of them were about my age, in the room were looking on.
"I. DONT. CARE. My SON may be DEAD. I . WISH . TO . SEE . MY . CHILDREN... NOW." I commanded of her again and she looked over to the family that must have been none other than the family that has been stalking me for longer than I've known. I looked over to them as well "If you people are heartless enough to deny me the rights to find my children, I WILL KILL YOU ALL. I'm A GUNDAM PILOT GODDAMNIT!" I exclaimed as I allowed a stream of tears to begin falling down my cheeks. I felt so weak. I haven't eaten in so long. But… my children.
None moved. None in the goddamn room moved an inch. So I left. I have no reason to stay here. "If I have to walk to my children I will do just that. If anyone gets I'm my way, they will have an appointment with death later today. Stay the fuck out of my business. Got it?" as I slammed the door behind me.
I didn't have to walk the whole way, thank God. However, after walking for thirty minutes, the only person who decided to pull over in front of me was the Fucking Molonigal family. I had no time to quarrel over who took me to my children, so long as they got me there fast. The father and the son were the only ones in the car. It was a fucking Mercedes, you have no idea how much I want to destroy it right now. Goddamn.
I think that they are trying to, or at least were trying to talk to me. I'm too worried right now though. I told them I would be right back. I told them not it leave. What if they had listened to me? They wouldn't all starve waiting for me would they?
"Awww shit" I muttered to myself, unaware that I had said it out loud.
"You know, young man. Cussing all of the time doesn't make you sound any more mature. If you do have children, I can't imagine that they are very well behaved."
"Ex-cuse me? Did you just say that to me? WHO the FUCK are you to tell me how good of a father I've been. Why don't you live in my shoes, huh? It's not easy being hounded by the media by a family who only hunts you for publicity stunts. You be an orphan from as far back as you can remember. You get put in jail and almost raped at six years of age. You deal with the law when you have no alternative than to steal. You get separated, twice, from the ones you love because Death decided to come by for a stroll. When you've done all of that and more, then come back to me and say that, ok. Bastard. You're not my father, you never were and you never will be. Deal with it, okay man?"
He was silent. So was his son, my alleged cousin.
After a near two hours of silence we entered the Winnipeg region. I told the old man where to take me to and got out of his car. I told him to leave, but he claimed that he was going to help me get the kids to the hospital. I sighed, but let him and his wretched son come after me. Sure they were being nice. But they were rich, and unlike Quatre, back during the war, they had mentioned right from the get go that they were rich, merely by stating their name. Maybe that's why I ran. Quatre was silent at first so that we could decide if we liked him before we ever got to know his name. Knowing their name will only help to barricade myself from them. The only thing I can think of would be to join their family and give away as much money to charity as I could possibly do. Charity. Like improving living conditions in orphanages.
I practically ran down the tunnels, I knew them by heart. I had to get to my children. The Molonigals behind me were slow and I wondered if they ever ran somewhere before in their life. Ran for the sake of trying to find the ones most precious to them.
I stopped dead.
As they caught up with me I heard the father call out to me using that wretched name. I didn't respond.
Then again, I had more important things to worry about.
"Hey. Why'd you stop?" asked the boy.
I didn't respond.
"Trevor? Hey, Trevo-"
"THATS-NOT-MY-GODDAMN-NAME! Stop calling me... it..." I trailed off.
"Mr. Maxwell," The boy said. I gained respect him at this very moment; you have no clue. None at all. He recognized me as a stranger. I acknowledged him. "What's the matter, sir?"
The Kid must've been at least a year or two younger than me, but he was clearly wiser than his old man.
"What's your name, kid?"
"Jeffry. Why do you ask?"
"Call me Duo. OK. As for you" as I turned to face the father. "Maxwell is what you will call me, go it?" and I looked back to the space before me. Taking in all that I could see. "Jeff. Well...I.."
Cried.
They weren't here. I saw blankets, something resembling a pillow. But my children? Nowhere in sight.
I cried, long and feeling more alone than ever in my life. What was I going to do. Had they been taken away? Kidnapped, raped, murdered? We lived on the streets, it was all possible. I couldn't bear to think about it, but it nagged at me over and over. For the longest time no one moved. Eventually I got up. My dehydrated cry let no more than a few tears run down my face and they left a trail like wet sand in the desert.
I walked over to where my children's blankets were and calmly as I could, once again taking control of myself, I began to rummage through them. I found nothing more than I expected to, which was nothing.
"I'm taking a nap." I told Jeff and his father as I curled up and fell into a well-needed, under-nurtured sleep.
An hour later, as I was informed upon waking, I jumped awake. The sound of Jeff dropping an old carton awoke me, not the loudest of sounds, but when you live on the streets you have to be aware that anything could kill you.
"Look, I know its futile and all, but, would y'all mind if I took a walk around, just in case?"
"Are you sure its safe?" Jeff asked.
"Of course it's not. No-where's safe when it has no place to rest, but just because it isn't safe doesn't mean that I'll die. I grew up in an unsafe environment. I'm used to it."
Jeff nodded and followed me soon followed, at a distance, by his father.
We walked for four hours, as I believe Mr. Molonigal stated, before I decided to turn back. If we took any of the hatches out we would only end up in slums, so I told them that I would lead them, not me, back to their car. They followed with out sound.
As we approached the exit I stopped again.
"What's the matter, Mr. Maxwell."
"SHHHH" I hushed him. I may not have the best hearing ever, but I do take pride in the hearing that I have. Slowly and silently I approached the tunnel that we had entered 5 hours ago in search of my children. I looked in and, being a bit too far back, stopped to listen. The noises stopped. It was like trying to hunt myself down...
"MYSELF! Just like...me" I said aloud. The noises at the other side of the corridor continued again and I sprinted down towards them to be greeted heads on by Dive who nearly succeeded in knocking me over.
"DADDY! DADDY!" Crypt said crying as she ran to meet me, soon followed by Kayle who was carrying Nife with the help of Sight. I bent over and hugged them all so rejoiced that it almost brought tears to my eyes. Sight soon dog-piled the lot of us.
"Hey, Death, who are those people?" Sight asked as the group settled down.
"Oh, them." Knowing whom he was talking about without having to turn around. "Ah, they think that I'm related to them. But I'm not part of their family, even if we are related. They don't all seem to get that. The boy my age does though. He's pretty nice. But look, Nife how are you? We're all gunna go topside now okay? Get us all into a hospital. There's no use in hiding anymore, I've already been found. Maybe I should buy a house, eh?"
"Do we even have enough money for that, Death?" Asked the obvious skeptic, Nife.
"To be perfectly honest, I don't remember..."
We're all at the orphanage hospital right now. I'm on a strict diet. Apparently I'm like, 40 pounds underweight or something. The kids are pretty fine, c'ept for Nife, but he's doing better. Still have to get that damned family off my back.
I just want to live a happy life with the family I made, not a family that wants to make me a family. I want to be able to decide for myself what is best for my children and myself. Not let some rich scum buy me over. I will not be bought.