Chapter 18: Healing day

Everything seemed hazy and blurry. The young girl closed her eyes and opened them again to get a better view. But what was there to see besides a blank, white ceiling?

Kaori moved her hand tiredly, pushing herself up. An invisible hammer suddenly smashed her head. Something's itching on her arm's vein. A bandage. She realized she was in a hospital bed. Outside the window, the sun's coming up. It's the morning.

The girl struggled to organize her memory. She could remember playing with Kousei and then going home at noon. Then maybe she collapsed. Last night she woke up a few times, and her father was there to comfort her. He asked her what his beloved daughter needed and told her to relax.

The familiar room was quiet like usual, enabling all the feelings to crawl back to Kaori. Hours being alone and in pain. Waiting, wishing, regretting. The fear of death. The horrible thoughts of what would happen after death. She needed someone to be around. She needed answers. Was the disease not cured? Was she going to die soon, again? The feeling of losing the chance to have a new life was unbearable.

It's a great thing the nurse came in to bring breakfast for Kaori. She placed her hand on Kaori's back, sliding back and forth and tenderly in a circular motion to comfort the patient. "It's okay! I'm here. You are doing fine! You are fine, you don't need to cry."

The nurse knew Kaori well, as she was the one who took care of the girl before and after the surgery. Kaori's case could be considered as a miracle to many staffs working in this hospital, inspiring them to take good care of their patients and to never give up. So to this lady, Kaori was like a little sister.

She waited for Kaori to calm down, gave the girl her breakfast, then provided information about her current condition and the examination results so far. The doctors didn't spot any sign of the disease coming back, but to be sure they would need to check a few more things today.

Thanks to the care, Kaori felt better than earlier. She started walking slowly around the room and stretching her body a bit.

There were a lot of things Kaori had to think about. When she's back to full health, she would definitely put more effort into practicing. Even though it's exhausting and scary, she had to do it for Kousei, and for her further education. She had collapsed, and due to her weakness, she lost valuable time that could be spent refining her skills. She wouldn't allow herself to be this weak again.

Kaori walked around and played with her imaginary violin, thinking of what she would need to change, refine, or stop doing. This quickly exhausted her energy. Kaori tried to prevent the horrible thoughts, but somehow they kept filling into her mind.

Each note in Kousei's play increased the weight on Kaori's body. The notes were sharp. They were precise, dazzle, elegant. In contrast, the violin part was weak and disconnected. While replaying their practice, she felt more and more inadequate to play a duet with him. 'Was this because I didn't practice hard enough? Because I was distracted by many other things in life? Or there's another reason? Could I ever overcome this?'

Kaori's head was in pain again and she had to sit down. Sweat came out due to exercise and anxiousness. 'What would happen if I didn't survive the surgery?' She wondered. 'Would Kousei forget about me? He couldn't be, right? Maybe he would evolve, and he would show the world how he missed me.' This thought was comforting but painful at the same time. 'But could it be that he would just forget about me?' Kaori felt unsure, thinking she might just fool herself all along.

It's already noon. A short knock on the door and Mr. Miyazono entered the room with a big smile, seeing his daughter standing on her feet next to the window - "Good morning, sweetheart."

"Dad!" Kaori spoke excitedly.

"I brought you some porridge!"

"Aw.." She seemed a bit disappointed. No teenager liked porridge.

"And some canelés as well! You can have this after you finish the porridge."

"Yay!" She turned happy again. Her dad really knew his daughter well.

"How are you this morning?" He asked while Kaori's eating her lunch.

"I feel better, dad. Just a little dizzy and tired sometimes, but nothing serious." She replied - "This morning the doctors did some checking. The results will be available soon."

"That's good to hear." He felt relieved.

"I'm sorry." Kaori noticed the weariness in her father's eyes - "I made mom and you worried."

"Don't worry, honey."- His voice was warm, tender and gentle. "How about I tell you a joke?"

"Not now, Dad." Kaori sounded afraid.

"Why not?"

"I might laugh so hard I spill my porridge."

"You're right!" - The father burst out laughing.

Most of the patients enjoy spending the afternoon walking and exercising in the hospital garden, but for Kaori, the rooftop was always her spot of choice. The scent of recently washed sheets was more relaxing than the complex smell in the garden. Furthermore, from here she could view her bakery rooftop, the Courage bridge, as well as many places of the city.

Today, what caught her attention were the buildings at the city center. They really did look like piano keys, which were placed on a keyboard that had no end.

This image made Kaori remember a movie she watched when she was 9 years old, in which the main character was a great pianist playing on a ship traveling between Europe and America. The little girl really enjoyed the music in that movie, but she wasn't experienced enough to understand why the pianist never got off the ship.

The end was sad but confusing too: the Main character refused to leave the ship, even when the ship owner decided it was too old and detonated it. The ship exploded and sank, and nobody on the land knew a great pianist just died, except just one friend who played trumpet together with him for many years.

But there was one thing Kaori and the pianist in the film had in common. The world out there, with the endless piano keyboard, had never been their world. Kaori was a special girl who accepted that she only had a few years to live. She didn't need to plan for her high school, her career, her own family like normal girls. She didn't need to comprehend the complexity of the world she wouldn't live in. She just wanted to play with all her might, so she would be remembered by a few people. Everything was easy when there was a final destination.

Today was different. She must face this unknown world. It's her future now. The large buildings. The vast sky. Even the airplanes looked so tiny from afar. Kaori felt the pressure coming from all direction, suffocating her. This tremendous world she was standing in made her feel incredibly small. There were so many questions she must answer. 'How should I live? How should I play? Would there be a goal, a key, an answer?' Everything kept expanding, and the girl saw herself as nothing more than a tiny little dot in this big and vast universe.

A sweet voice interrupted Kaori's self-doubt: "Hey, the pretty big sister is here. Come quick!" Kaori turned around to see two little kids, a boy, and a girl, running toward her and shouting: "Big sister! We miss you so much! Why aren't you playing with us anymore?"

Kaori recognized these two. Due to some kinds of genetic disease, they had to rely on a machine in the hospital for three days a week. The three patients often played on this roof and Kaori taught these kids to play simple songs, like Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

"I missed you too. Uhm… I will play with you more often, okay?" Kaori replied. She didn't know whether it was a good idea to tell the kids she was cured and she left the hospital.

"Okay. Come on. We have something to show you!" The little boy invited Kaori. She quickly followed and then played with the kids for the rest of the afternoon. After all, who could say no to those smile that knows nothing about illness and death.

Notes from Author:

First of all, I wish to give Angelpaw33 a big thanks for helping me edit this chapter and for providing me valuable support ^^

Secondly, I'm trying to refine my writing skills, so please help by commenting what you guys think about this chapter, what can be improved, what should change... Thank you all!