So here we are. At chapter 3. I have two-ish more chapters floating around, then I'm actually going ti have to write some.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not making any money out of this. Just as well really,because what with income tax, legal fees, and bribes, I'd end up in debt.

Chapter 3- The Big Red People

Ah, the open road. What more could a man want?

Howard leaned back in the driver's seat. This, surely, was everything you needed in life. No other cars, just you and the open road. The sun almost but not quite fully risen, his flask in the door-pocket, his mints on the dashboard, the potholed and deserted road stretching into the distance.

Perfect.

Howard glanced at Vince, who was asleep in the passenger's seat, his head against the window. Howard's watch displayed 5:30 am. All the early morning commuters would start coming in an hour or so. By that time they would be at the zoo. Howard wound down the window to take a first breath of the crisp morning air, and choked on the fumes coming out of the van's exhaust.

Howard hastily wound up the window again, but was forced to pull over two minutes later, unable to see for the smoke pouring out of the exhaust, and also from under the bonnet.

The van shook as the engine spluttered and retched, as though it were choking like the two passengers. The smoke was really belching out now, and the whole van shook. Howard sighed, and got out. He wished Naboo was here to sort it out by magic. Or, better still, they had just teleported to the zoo instead of taking the two-and-a-half-hour car journey. Or five-hour, in this old wreck.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Vince called out. "What happened?"

His lungs, weakened by his illness and the drugs "they" had given him, could not handle the fumes coming through the driver's door, which Howard had left open. And embarked on a long choking fit which culminated in a rather splendid gurgling noise, a cross between a retch and a hiccup, as Howard leaned in through the open door and thumped him on the back.

"We've broken down again." said Howard, when Vince had finally got his breath

back.

"What do you mean, again?" asked Vince. "How old is this thing?"

Howard chose to ignore the second bit. "We've stopped about a dozen times so far. Whenever lots of smoke comes out-"

"You buy a new one?" Interrupted Vince.

"In theory yes, but my wage packet wouldn't hold a toy model, let alone the real thing."

"Oh." said Vince. "How are you going to fix it then?"

"I have prodigious mechanical skills sir, and I'll have it up and running again in a trice."

"Oh." said Vince again. This would be the first of many times that Howard would tell him that he was really good at something, and wasn't.

Half an hour later, when Howard was covered in grease, rubbing his head where the bonnet had slammed shut on it, thoroughly pissed off, and nowhere nearer to setting off again than he had been thirty minutes ago, he was forced to admit defeat. Several times Vince had asked if he needed a hand, only to be told, in an increasingly strained voice, to leave one to it. Now he wandered round to the front of the vehicle to check on Howard.

"How's it going?" he asked, eying the broken spanner discarded near the wheel and Howard's face.

"Fine, fine," Howard replied airily, praying that Vince was indeed as stupid as Naboo had predicted.

"I believe you." Vince said.

"You do?" Howard dropped his (spare) spanner on his foot in surprise.

"Yeah, I do."

God, the boy must be thick, Howard thought. Oh well, all the better for me.

"Yeah. Why shouldn't I?" Vince began to wander off ahead.

"Where are you going?" Howard called after him.

"Gonna flag down a passing car." Vince replied.

After another half-hour, during which they wondered aloud why there was no traffic as yet (or Howard had, Vince wasn't quite that deep) Howard called Naboo.

Five minutes later he ended the call.

"He's not answering," he said.

"Yeah I guessed that." Vince rolled his eyes. "Now what?"

Howard's mobile rang. It was Naboo.

"Hey, Naboo, I was wondering if you could help us." said Howard before Naboo had a chance to speak. "We're in a bit of trouble."

"Sorry Howard," said Naboo. "I didn't hear my phone, we're on the carpet and the wind is really loud. Where are you?"

"We broke down," said Howard. "Use that locator spell, I can't remember the number of the motorway off hand."

"You're outside?" yelped Naboo. Howard winced and removed the phone from his ear.

"Sorry. You're outside?" repeated Naboo in a much quieter voice. "I tried to warn you a minute ago, but you wouldn't shut up. Me and Bollo were flying to find you, warn you."

Howard's brain seemed to get colder as he listened.

"It's not safe. Overnight the police have issued a warning, telling people to stay indoors. Howard, it's the Big Red People!"

Over the line, a dreadful roar could be heard, and distant screaming. Naboo was yelling, but hardly discernable. "Howard, it's not safe! Get yourselves under cover, and don't-"

The line went dead. Howard just stood still for a moment, staring at nothing, all fear delayed somehow.

Then there was a cry and a snarl, and the panic settled in.

___________________---

Vince had wandered a little way down the deserted motorway, his curiosity getting the better of him. Admittedly, there wasn't much that was curious about a motorway, but then he had been locked in an attic for ages, only coming out to go to school (or not go, as the case may be) or being taken to a hospital. Now, for the first time in almost eight years, he actually had permission to explore (well, Howard hadn't specifically told him not to) and was enjoying the fact that he hadn't just had to squeeze between the bars of a window.

Vince heard a noise behind him. Like a cross between a sink plunger and a motorbike engine. He turned round to see who, or what had made the gurgling roar.

The blood-red beast with spiked wings and the thrashing tail stared back at him through a narrowed, scarlet eye.

Vince began to back slowly away from the Big Red Person, not taking his eyes off it's face.

It began to raise it's tail above it's back like a scorpion-

"Howard…" he whimpered-

-And aimed the gigantic poisonous sting at the terrified teenager.

Dum dum duuum…

Oh come on, everyone likes a cliff-hanger. Well no-one does actually, but it gives me time to think of some blood, gore and good ol' booshy wisecracks for the next chapter.

The monsters are coming... mwuhahaha. I think I was watching Doctor Who when I thought of this chapter. I can't remember very well.