Mind is a razor blade
Lucas was the first one to wake up the next morning. It was 5.55 AM. He didn't realize where he was until he found Peyton sleeping in the embrace of his arms. Lucas looked at Peyton. Memories of the night before came back. Words, looks, touches … kisses. The puzzle began to fit. When he looked at Peyton again, he sudden realized the she was naked and so was he. The fact he realized Peyton and he had sex last night blew his mind away. He looked for the third time to Peyton this morning. Watching her peaceful sleep with her body so close against his, it comforted him in some way. He began to lose control when he realized he had betrayed Brooke. But watching Peyton sleep and hear her breathe softly, it kept him quiet, Lucas didn't want to wake Peyton. He was afraid that she would. What would he say or do? How would she react? Unanswered questions. Questions Lucas didn't mind to leave that way.
As careful as he could, he slipped out of the bed. Peyton whispered something. Lucas heart was beating fast by the thought she was going to wake up. But she didn't.
There he stood in the doorway, looking at Peyton. She still was asleep. Questions raced through is mind. Guilt fell down on Lucas. Yesterday, he stood at the same spot, looking at her. Last night she had looked weak, broken and tired of life. Now, she looked different. She looked stronger, there was hope on her pretty face, her fire renewed. But still venerable.
It broke his heart, seeing her there. Knowing she was dreaming of a better life, she finally thought she had found it last night. And he knew he couldn't give her that life. He was with Brooke, Brooke loved him, and he wanted to grow old with her. Or at least that was the safest option.
Being with Brooke was less complicated, loving Brooke was easy. She was pretty, cheery, always in for a some fun. But loving Peyton was complicated, not difficult, but just complicated. The girl had gone through so much, she was unpredictable. She was a mystery, you didn't know how she felt, you didn't know what she thought, you didn't know what she was going to do, you didn't know what she was going to say … you just didn't know, and that made it so complicated.
He was a coward, for walking away from her like this. Yesterday he almost forced her to say that she loved him. And now, in the light of morning, he looked at her, with tears in his eyes. He wanted to love her, and he knew he did. He did love her, but this isn't meant to be, he thought.
Lucas knew he had to go. His mom would probably kick his ass. He wanted to be home before she woke up. Just a minute he though. A minute, he just wanted to look at her for a minute. One minute, Lucas promised himself, just to watch her sleep for one minute. To see how beautiful she was, with her blond hair.
6.55 A.M., he was an hour awake. And most of the time, he had watched Peyton. More than a half hour, he had watched the blond girl, peaceful sleeping. And he was about to break her heart. Quickly he pressed a light kiss on her temple and whispered. "I'm sorry Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer …"
Lucas finally left. His heart was breaking. The front door fell in lock. And Peyton opened her eyes, she was confused when she didn't found Lucas next to her. Suddenly her eyes fell a piece of paper on the pillow next to her. And Peyton didn't know why, but she felt like her heart was going to break as she read it …