A/N: Holy crap-ola! You guys really like this story? I write it at like 2 am, but then again, that's when I have the most inspiration anyway. (thank you again Alex san 12012 for telling me about that lil' loop hole ) WOOT WOOT CHICKA CHIKA BANGGG! I have Cartman tourettes!(a.k.a 'pseudo' or just fake tourettes)
WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS MORE GRAPHIC! Just saying homeys fo shizzle. But it isn't as bad as some other stuff I've read. O.e
FrUk in this one. Oh yeaya! You noes you loves it. XD
I'm sorry I haven't updated in a couple of days… I had writers block. So I'm sorry if this chapter is a wonderland of CRAP~~!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA! If I did, my fellow readers and writers, England would have more air time. With his magic British Flag thong on (which Melissa will not give me back…) and on a Unicorn/Pegasus/Dora-the-Explorer with flowing blonde hair and Excalibur singing his mighty song 'EXCALIBUR! EXCALIBUR! From United Kingdom I'm looking for heaven I'm going to California!' and have Russia roll around on the ground yelling 'PANTS ON DA GROUND! PANTS ON THE GROUND! LOOKIN' LIKE A FOOL WITH YA PANTS ON THE GROUND!", and I would watch, eating churros with Spain and South Italy. Good day to you, sirs and madams! XD
I DON'T OWN ANY SONGS! THEY BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTED OWNERS!
I DON'T OWN ANYTHING AT ALL! (except my thoughts…kukuku…)
South Korea invented reviewing. He wants ya to! :3 (lil' hint of who the tourist is)
1,298 words WOOT WOOT!
Matt, Alfred, and Francis laughed for about a good ten minutes after the camera clicked off, and Matt couldn't even believe what just happened on the television screen. 'Arthur, dancing like a stripper in a pirate costume? What the hell was that?' Matt thought incredulously.
"The power of alcohol… Jeez!"
"Oui!" Francis replied, bellowed out a laugh again. After a couple seconds, the trio calmed down.
"Well, Mattie, you're part of the group! Congrats! We thought that would be too much for you! But now, you have to help us catch Arthur for the 7th installment in the saga." Alfred exclaimed, pulling Matt into a hug.
"Wait, what? You made six already and now you need my help with the seventh one? And by the way, I'm not that sheltered. I lived with Francis until college. Don't think I didn't catch onto stuff like that…" Matt replied, and winked at Alfred. Alfred blushed, and Francis looked at Matt in disbelief.
"But I didn't tell you about sex until junior year of high school!" Francis cried, "Mon petit Matthieu! Did you hear conversations I had with Antonio and Gilbert?"
Matt nodded, and Francis looked down. But Matt smiled, and added, "If it makes you feel any better, most of what I learned was from school, and television." Francis looked back up and smiled in reply.
"Hey, Francis, do you have the other ones?" Al asked, and Francis smirked.
"I have the whole collection so far, mon cher Alfred."
"Well, put in the next one, man!" Alfred said happily, gesturing to the DVD. Francis grinned, and opened up the DVD player. Once the infamous first disk popped out, the oldest blonde inserted the second disk. When Francis sat down, the video started. In the video, Francis was walking with his camera, and a strange woman was stomping down the street in front of him. They were walking through a big city, and it was dark, so it was obviously night time.
"Mon cher, turn around and smile for le camera!" Francis exclaimed, and the woman whipped around, her green eyes burning with rage. She had bleach blonde hair, excessive makeup, and wore a dress, similar to something an old movie star would wear. 'I think Marilyn Monroe wore something like that…' Matt thought, his undivided attention on the TV screen. Alfred was already hysterically laughing. Her hair was also, well, slightly askew, and Matt tilted his head in confusion. She smirked coldly.
"Bloody frog~, why do you have me in this dress*hiccup*?" The man hissed (or at least tried). Matt's eyes widened in sudden realization.
"IS THAT ARTHUR?" Matt screamed, and Francis nodded with a grin, and shushed Matt. Arthur staggered on the TV screen, but continued walking in the original direction he was walking in. Francis chuckled on the screen, and they walked for a couple of minutes.
"I am Arthur Monroe~~~, movie star, and this dress is tacky!" Arthur drunkenly yelled, animatedly swinging his arms around.
"What, mon cher?" Francis asked, suppressing laughs.
"You~~ want me to do a sexy manhole dance, don't you?" Arthur replied, not answering Francis' question, "Besides, I knoooo~~w you love it!" He then swung his hips around, and turned his heel. With that said, Arthur ran ahead, and went over a manhole on the sidewalk. He turned around to see the Frenchman, and he gasped in surprise. The air made his dress fly up, but instead of covering himself up, he put his hands on his hips, and grinned. For under the dress, you see, was Arthur's… manhood. It stood fully erect, and in plain view. He didn't even bother putting on a thong. The Britons legs were also incredibly hairy, and he laughed. Matt stared at the screen, nervously laughing. Alfred was literally rolling on the floor laughing, and Francis laughed too, and Matt noticed a small bulge forming in said Frenchman's pants. After a couple of seconds, however, Arthur's face dropped, and soon, he was screaming.
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" Arthur shrieked, running away from the manhole. Francis laughed at his drunken lover, who was fanning his 'junk'. The camera bounced as Francis rushed over. "That burnt~~~ kiss it better, you stupid Frenchie. IT was YOUR idea~~*hiccup*!"
"No, it was your idea, mon cher."
"IT was YOURS! SUCK MY MANHOOD~, WOMAN!" Arthur shrieked, and yet again, Francis was running. The camera was bouncing, but you could see that someone was bounding the corner. Francis made a sigh of relief on camera when he saw it was Gilbert.
"Hold the camera. Please!" Francis pleaded, and Gilbert chuckled. He pushed the camera to his friend and swiftly turned down the corner.
"Since I'm such an awesome friend and camera man, I will." Gil replied condescendingly, and he focused the camera on Arthur. Said British man was running awkwardly down the street, with mascara running down his face in streams. The wig was sliding off his head, daring to fly away. His white pumps slipped off, and his dress flew up as he ran, revealing his 'junk'. Several male passerby's wolf called at poor, drunk Arthur, and he replied, "SCREW YOU PIGS~*burp*!"
As he was running, his blonde wig flew off his head, and hit a poor tourist in the face. Arthur continued running, and Gilbert laughed when he saw the tourist place it on his head, and laugh as he walked away. But before he left, the man exclaimed with a wave and a toothy grin, "당신이 트랜스 젠더 감사합니다!(thank you transvestite!)"
"Crazy Asian tourists…" Gilbert mumbled with a chuckle. Once Arthur ran up to Gilbert, you could see the anger in his eyes.
"WHERE THE BLOODY*hiccup* HELL IS THAT*hiccup**burp* FROG?" Arthur shrieked, and added with a needy whimper, "He needs to help me~~~!" Gilbert chuckled, and replied, pointing to the direction Francis ran in, "He went that way!"
"Thank*belch* you~~~." Arthur said, before bounding down the sidewalk, running sloppily with his dress whipping behind him. Francis, who supposedly thought Gilbert would stop Arthur, only made it about two blocks down the street, and walked at a more relaxed pace. Arthur made it one block before singing manically, "GET BACK HERE FROG~~! ONE WAY~ OR ANOTHER~ I'M GONNA FIND YA! I'M GONNA GET CHA GET CHA GET CHA GET CHA~~*burp**hiccup**belch*! "
Francis turned around, and Gilbert zoomed in on his expression. Francis' mouth was agape, and his eyes widened. He swiftly turned, and began to run. Gilbert followed right behind Arthur, laughing his ass off. Arthur ran even faster than before, and eventually captured the unfortunate French blonde. Francis shrieked when Arthur tackled him, and pinned his arms down. Gilbert caught up to them, and zoomed in on both of their faces.
"I win~~, now suck my junk, woman!" Arthur whispered before crashing his lips into Francis'. Francis tried to push back, but Arthur wasn't having that. Instead, the drunken Brit grinded his hips into the man below him, and Francis gasped. Then, Arthur took one of Francis' hands and forcefully made him grab his steadily growing arousal. Francis, despite it being dark outside, had a very prominent blush.
"HAHAHA- ugh…" Arthur exclaimed, before passing out on Francis. Francis looked around, and then up to the camera.
"You stupid German! What the hell? You were supposed to stop him!" Francis exclaimed in disbelief. Gilbert only laughed, and replied, "Mein gott dude, I knew this would happen! I'm so awesome, and now, you owe me 20 dollas! WOOT WOOT! I'm gonna go to the strip club now!" Then, he reached into Francis' back pocket and stole said amount of cash, before running away with the camera.
"YOU LITTLE SON OF A-!"
Then, the camera clicked off.