-Ziva's Point of View-
I know I need to tell him about Kashan, about everything but right now I couldn't even think about her properely without the ache in my chest threatening to send me over the edge again. After clearing up the dishes which I had taken off of Tony to keep my hands busy I let my mind wander.
"Ima, look, I did it!" Kashan squealed excitedly, barging into my bedroom. I turned around and pulled my shirt over my head and down, she had come in to show me that she had dressed herself, I smiled at her and said just as excitedly
"Well done tataleh that was a good job" I said making my way over to her to look at her as she stood proudly in her favorite pair of butterfly jeans and her red lady bug shirt.
"Hang on tataleh, your shirts on backwards" I said and she frowned
"I did good Ima?" she asked and I nodded
"You did really well tataleh, it takes a long time for people to learn how to get dressed all by themselves, but it takes even longer for them to put there clothes on the right way" I explained and she smiled, her toothy grin beaming up at me
"Really Ima?" she asked and I smiled
"Of course tataleh" I said. At two and a half years old Kashan was just learning how to do things as independantly as possible, searching for praise whenever she did something right. As I finished dressing she sat on my bedroom floor talking to her teddy bear his name was Bob, she liked it said it was plain and simple. I smiled as I did my hair and turned to Kashan, who seemed to know what time it was and what I was about to do, she scrambled to her feet and ran away. I needed to do her hair and since her hair was so tight and curly it was a mission for me every morning, I just hoped that sometime in the near future her hair would lose some of its curls. Maybe if Ari would stop cutting it to keep it short it might just grow and then it would become wavy instead of tight little curls. Talking of Ari, today was the day that we were heading out to the air port to say goodbye, since he was going on a mission to Mexico, and we weren't going to see him for a year at least, something that Kashan wasn't to happy about.
"Come on tataleh, I need to do you hair" I said and she shook her head
"No Ima!" she said sternly and I hated that she had picked up that trait from me
"Tataleh" I begged and she shook her head and folded her arms
"Kashan Sari Helena Leban-David, come here" I said using her full name, she shook her head and fell to the ground about to start a tantrum, I sighed, this had become a part of our morning ritual since the day she had turned two.
"Come on tataleh we have to hurry otherwise we'll miss seeing Uncle Ari leave" I reasoned and her lips trembled, she got up and ran to my arms
"Ima I don't want Uncle Ari to leave" she said and I nodded
"I know tataleh but he's going on a mission" she looked at me and pouted
"You not going are you Ima?" she asked and I shook my head
"Not this time tataleh" I said and she sighed in relief. I wasn't to leave on another mission until the European/ Middle East NCIS agent Jenny Shepard returned from America and that wasn't happening for another month. I brushed her hair and Kashan sat on the floor resuming her conversation with her teddy bear.
"Ow Ima, owie" she wined and I frowned
"I'm sorry tataleh" I said and nodded.
Finally we were able to leave and after grabbing my hand bag and Kashan's bag I headed down to the car and we headed out toward the air port. We were meeting Ari just after he checked in and I knew that he would be here already. We made our way into the air port and Kashan frowned
"I don't want to say goodbye to Uncle Ari" she said and I kissed her cheek
"He'll be back tataleh" I said and she nodded
"I know Ima" she said and rested her head on my shoulder.
"Ziva" I heard the familiar voice of my best friend Dina and smiled
"Shalom Dina" I said in greeting and she smiled
"Shalom Ziva, Kashan" she said reaching out and pinching at Kashan's cheek gently.
"Shalom Dina" Kashan said and I smiled.
"How are you?" I asked and she smiled
"I'm alright at the moment, I'm going to miss him so much though" she said and I nodded in understanding
"So is Kashan" I said and she nodded, holding out her arms for my daughter
"Are you going to miss Uncle Ari?" she asked and Kashan nodded
"Lots and lots Dina" she explained using her arms to show just how much. I smiled a little. I jumped when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my middle, when I turned I threw my arms around my brother
"Shalom Ari" I said and he smiled
"Shalom Ziva" he said kissing my forehead.
"Uncle Ari!" Kashan squealed and I smiled as my brother picked up his neice
"I'm going to miss you so much Kashan, you have to proise me you'll be good for Ima and do everything she asks you" he said and Kashan nodded
"Of course Uncle Ari" she said and placed a kiss on Ari cheek.
We spent the next hour at the air port with Ari until his flight was announced that they were boarding passengers. He hugged and kissed Dina, wrapped his arms around my waist and told me that I had to look out for myself and Kashan and to promise to write when I could. And then he picked up Kashan again and hugged her tightly kissing all over her face and returning her to my arms. A we watched him walk away Kashan started balling her eyes out and I had to reassure her that, we would write a letter to him tonight just to make her calm down. After bidding Dina goodbye, we made our way out to the car and then headed to head quarters to Mossad.
"Grandpa" Kashan squealed in delight as we made our way into his office, as Deputy Director of Mossad and the head person in charge of missions he had his job cut out for him but now as he sat at his desk he smiled and held his arms open for his granddaughter
"Kashan, my sweet little granddaughter. How are you?" he asked her and she frowned
"I'm sad grandpa, Uncle Ari gone" she said tears almost fowing down her face
"He'll be back sweetie, and how is your Ima?" he asked her and she looked at me
"Ima's good grandpa" she said and I smiled
"I'm good Abba" I said making my way over and kissing his cheek
"That's good Ziva I have confirmation that Jenny is back earlier than we expected she arrived yesterday and is currently debriefing Jahleil" he said and I nodded before turning back to him
"We're not going on a mission are we?" I asked and he shook his head
"Not yet" he said and I smiled.
I didn't feel like smiling now though it wasn't fair, how my life had changed since that day, I had lost so much but gained so much more. I had never been that close to my father not even when I had Kashan but when I had lost her he was the first one to support me, because he was the first one to visit me the following morning.
"Ziva, what happened?" he asked running from his car toward me
"She's gone" I whispered hugging my father tightly and sobbing into his chest
"What?" he asked and I looked up at him
"There was an explosion in my house Abba, inside Kashan's bedroom" I told him and he let go of me running down the hall toward Kashan's bedroom
"Oh Kashan my poor angel" he whispered and walked back out to me in the kitchen
"I will find out who did this to my grandchild" he said and I felt a pang in my chest as he left, I should've known he wasn't here for me, he was only here for Kashan.
"Zi, are you alright? You keep on muttering things" Tony said walking into the kitchen, I turned to him and shook my head
"I miss her Tony" I whispered running into his arms, and when I started to sob again he held me close. But I could sense how confused he was and how much he wanted to know what I was keeping from him.
"Zi?" he asked and I looked into his eyes
"Make love to me Tony" I said and his eyes widened
"Ziva?" he asked and I shook my head
"Just please, help me forget" I begged, and he must of sensed something in me, knowing that I wasn't about to tell him until he did so. I felt his lips against mine as he pressed me up against the counter and I kissed him back. When he lifted me up and carried me to our bedroom and lowered me to the bed I fet guilty for asking me to do this, to help me forget when he didn't even know what I was trying to forget.
A/N: I think this chapter is a good one and I hope you do too.