Disclaimer: Yuki Shimizu owns Love Mode

I do a lot of research for this chapter. I hope it all makes sense.

To Be Bitter Again

3.45PM

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"What the hell?!" Reiji shouted. After just walking into his apartment, he didn't need to be met with the smoke alarm going off. Smoke coming out of a cooking pan that had God knows what in, and Izumi, who had his knees pulled against him and his hands over his ears.

Grabbing a dish cloth, Reiji fanned it near the alarm to make it stop. Turning the cooker off, Reiji slowly walked over to Izumi and put his hands on the boy's own. "Izumi, listen. It was just the smoke alarm." Reiji's voice seemed soothing, even to him.

"I'm sorry." Izumi cried.

"It's fine." Reiji moved his hand away, taking Izumi's own with him. "I... don't mind that you almost set my house on fire. Look at me," And he did. "If you are hungry, I can make you something. Just go, sit down. I'll bring you a glass of water, unless you would prefer something stronger."

"Just water please..." Izumi's voice was quiet. Getting up, he did as Reiji told him, and waited for his glass of water.

Half an hour later, the food was ready. Sitting in silence as they ate their meal, Izumi was the first one to finish.

"Uhm... Reiji..." The older man looked up. "May... May I have more? ... Please?"

'He looks so nervous.' "Of course, you may." The older man answered, getting the boy his second serving of beef and vegetable stir-fry.

"Izumi, I'm going to ask you something, so, listen and you will answer me." Izumi stopped eating his third serving, and just looked at it. "What have you eaten in the past three weeks?"

Izumi immediately started shuffling the food on his plate around; in all honestly, he hadn't eaten anything since leaving Reiji's after a week of being ill, but, he really didn't want the stern man to find that out.

"You idiot." Reiji rubbed his forehead, feeling an intense headache coming on. "Don't you know you need to eat? You'll wither away to nothing." Izumi didn't say a word. "From now on, you come here to have your dinner, at least. I expect to see you every day."

"What? No..." He wanted to protest, but he really didn't have the energy to. "I'm fine. I'll be okay feeding myself."

"Clearly not." The pounding in his head had started. "Listen to me, if I do not see you here every day for as long as I tell you to come, I will find you – not that it's going to be difficult, and when I do get a hold of you, I will force-feed you a meal for every day you do not come here and eat what I cook for you. Do I make myself clear?"

Giving a slight pout, Izumi nodded and finished the rest of his meal.

XxXxX

The rain poured heavily, almost crashing onto the pavement so loudly that Reiji could hear it even from his apartment. It was also getting late – 8:58pm – Okay, so it may not have been that late for a twenty-six-year-old to walk home, but Reiji didn't care.

"You're staying here tonight." And before Izumi could protest about this as well, Reiji added quickly. "It's pissing down outside, and I really don't want to take care of you while you're ill again. You can go home tomorrow, I'll even take you. For tonight, you sleep on the..." Reiji's headache just worsened. "You can sleep on the sofa. I'll get you a blanket." Getting the spare blanket for Izumi, he told the younger man they would be sorting a few things out for Izumi tomorrow, before Reiji left for work. Saying a swift good night, Reiji made his way to the bedroom, being followed by King.

Shutting the door behind him and lighting a cigarette, the B&B owner got comfortable on his bed, and was quickly accompanied by the ginger cat – who laid on Reiji's lap, falling asleep.

"Naoya..." The smoke come out of his mouth as the name escaped his mouth.

XxXxX

Walking into the bedroom quietly, dark-haired man stripped himself of his shoes and shirt, finding something more loose-fitting to wear before pulling the blanket off the floor and back onto a naked, sleeping Naoya – causing King to jump off in the process. Lying next to the smaller man, Reiji fell asleep for a few hours. As time went on throughout their relationship, Reiji allowed himself not to leave work so late or leave for work so early in the afternoon. He enjoyed spending time with Naoya, cuddling the younger man and taking him out instead of sitting in an office for hours on end.

The sun was shining into the room, which ended up making Naoya get out of bed after fifteen minutes of trying to ignore the bright light that was interrupting his sleep. Blindly grabbed a pair of his own boxers, Naoya made his way out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes, and followed the smell of something nice cooking.

"Good morning, Naoya."

'Reiji seems happy. Nothing must have happened at the club last night.' Naoya smiled. "Good morning. What time did you get in last night? I never heard you." He asked, going up to Reiji and kissing him, huffing in his head at that fact Reiji was already dressed for work tonight.

"I was quiet when I came in, because I knew you would be asleep. As for what time I got in, it was about four o'clock. Now go and sit down." Reiji kissed him back, before gently pushing on his back, coaxing him towards the chair. Pancakes and fruit was always a favourite with Naoya.

XxXxX

"A-ah..." Naoya whimpered as he was bending down to pick up the cat.

Looking up from his laptop and over at the twenty-three year old, "Your back again?" Reiji asked, worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, though," He answered, sweating a little. "I must have just slept awkwardly. King likes to snuggle against my back."

"Really…" Reiji wasn't going to buy that crap. "So, you've slept awkwardly for the past three weeks." He wasn't stupid, he'd noticed the increasing moans and groans over the past month. "I'll give Kiichi a call tonight, when I'm at work, get him to come and see you tomorrow." Reiji walked over to Naoya, picked up King and handed him to the younger man, kissing him on the head. "Go read or something. It'll be fine."

Later that night...

"Yeah, he's been really bad. He couldn't even bend down to pick up King today. He's in pain when he wakes up, when he's being too active. It seems to stop hurting for a little while when he's in the bath." Reiji spoke on the phone to his brother.

"Well, I can't give a diagnosis until I've seen him. I'm not going to say it's something, because I don't want to be wrong. Reiji, it could be a number of things. It could even be related to the accident he was in when he was thirteen. I'm not going to know until I've seen Naoya. I'll be round tomorrow morning. Let's say 8:30. I love you, dear brother." Kiichi grinned.

"Yeah. Bye." After putting the phone down, both the Aoe brother sighed and lit a cigarette.

XxXxX

The next morning, Kiichi arrived right on the dot. He hadn't woke Naoya up, though. The younger man been awake since seven – something about wanting to have a bath, and be all relaxed for when Kiichi arrived, because doctors like to have a relaxed patient. Kiichi hoped that Naoya didn't see his amused expression and think he was being laughed at.

Reiji arrived home at five to eleven and the sight he was met with was not a good one.

XxXxX

"What do you mean he has to go to the hospital for tests today? Why kind of tests?" Reiji yelled.

"Will you keep calm and your voice on a lower volume. I haven't told Naoya he needs the assistance of a hospital. Now," Kiichi pushed his glasses up. "What I said on the phone, about it could be related to his accident, I may have been right."

"So? What type of tests would he need at the hospital then? It happened ten years ago. Wouldn't it have shown up earlier?"

"Not necessarily. Reiji, I would really appreciate it if we could get Naoya to the hospital." Kiichi was getting anxious.

"Why!?" And Reiji was getting angry.

"There's a lump." Oh, how blunt of Kiichi. "On Naoya's back, near his coccyx; where most of his pain is located." Kiichi swallowed, his throat getting tight. "Now, can we get him to the hospital? We need to find out if the lump is benign or-"

Not waiting for his brother to finish, nor saying a word, Reiji left his brother by himself in the living room and walked into the bedroom to find Naoya stroking King. "Naoya..." The boy looked up. "We need to go..." This time, Reiji had to swallow the lump in his throat. "We need to go to the hospital. Get ready, please."

XxXxX

Because of Kiichi's role in the hospital, Naoya was seen as soon as possible. Reiji was told he wasn't allowed in the room for safety reasons, but Kiichi saw no reason why he wasn't allowed and went to step in.

"Dr. Aoe," Dr. Yamamota Saito called. "I really do not think it is right for you to be in that room, or be part of the team if that boy does need medical treatment."

"And, why not? I am one of the best doctors on this site. I should be using my knowledge and putting all my years of experience into helping him." Kiichi didn't normally get angry, but being told he shouldn't part of Naoya's case pissed him off.

"You may have plenty of experience, Dr. Aoe, but, you are also technically the boy's brother-in-law. You know a doctor should not get involved with family matters which also concern the hospital. Now please, go to the waiting room, along with your brother." Dr. Yamamoto demanded, shutting the thick door behind him.

Two and a half hours later...

Dr. Yamamoto appeared in front of the Aoe brothers, "Gentlemen, I need to speak with you. Come with me." And they followed the ageing doctor into his office.

"After running several tests on Shirakawa Naoya, I have concluded that the lump on his coccyx is a bone tumour."

Reiji and Kiichi both frowned, and their eyes widened. "You can get rid of it." Reiji stated, though it out more as a question.

"I'm afraid not." The doctor spoke sorrowfully. "You see, many patients do not know they even have a bone tumour, some aren't aware of it for years. Most of these tumours are benign, but there is the occasional few who end up suffering from malignant tumours. Such a Naoya." The doctor stopped speaking for a minute, just to let things settle in both Reiji's and Kiichi's heads.

"You can do something about it, though. Right?! Chemotherapy or something!" Reiji wasn't intentionally being aggressive but, who could blame him? "If it's money you're concerned about, there is plenty of it to give Naoya the very best treatment possible"

"Malignant tumours happen in at least seven different types. Patients with types such as Ewing's Sarcoma respond very well to Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. Patients with types such as Chondrosarcoma do not respond so well, and with Naoya, he comes into the small category of patients who have malignant tumours. Now, normally, we could try and do something if the tumour has not spread. Unfortunately with Naoya, there is nothing we can do but wait. The cancer has already started to spread up his back, and to his kidneys. He is one of the unlucky ones that deteriorate at a fast rate. He may look mostly healthy today, but next week, he could look drastically different; he will start to look ill." The doctor stood up. "I have placed Naoya in a private room, in the Intensive Care Unit. He should be awake, I imagine."

Reiji and Kiichi made their way numbly towards Naoya's room. The doctor was right, the red-head was awake, looking awfully pale. He was holding the clip-board that usually hung at the end of the bed, the one patients weren't supposed to read.

"Reiji…" Naoya's worry came through in his voice, a little tremble putting an end to the rest of his sentence. Despite how much he wanted to get up and run to Reiji, he wasn't a stupid boy, he didn't want to pull out the cannula that was in his right hand.

Reiji put his hand on the side of his little lover's head. "Kiichi, would you mind leaving for now. I need to have a chat with Naoya. I know you would be able to explain it better, but..."

"It's okay," Kiichi put his hand on his brother's shoulder, "I understand." Moving closer to Naoya, Kiichi kissed him on the cheek and whispered, "Its okay be scared. I love you." And Kiichi then left to call Haruomi, holding in his own tears until he was on the phone.

XxXxX

One week later...

"I'm sorry, Reiji, Kiichi." Dr. Yamamoto said, "But, it's my duty and I need to say that I don't think Naoya has much longer to go in his life. I would give him two... maybe three weeks at most. Make the most of your time."

During the last week, Reiji hadn't been to work. He hadn't even been home; Kiichi had to pack some clothes and toiletries for his brother and Naoya, and take them to the hospital. Reiji didn't want to leave Naoya's side – he was scared. He was scared to even wash in the connecting bathroom while Naoya was sleep – from the bathroom, Reiji couldn't see Naoya's chest move up and down. Kiichi also had to bring him food, otherwise his brother would have passed out from lack of nourishments.

The doctor had been right about Naoya – he did look ill. He was much skinnier than he used to be, even when he was fifteen. Naoya was on three different type of pain-relief, which wasn't helping his lack of muscle or fat. Shirakawa Naoya was literally wasting away.

XxXxX

"Reiji..." Naoya said breathlessly. "Pain... It hurts..." He was crying. Not sobbing, he didn't have the energy, but the tears streamed down his face freely.

Reiji, who was sitting on the bed, stroked Naoya's tears away. What could he say? That he would make it all go away? He knew a way the pain would stop, but... that was the last thing he ever wanted, even before Naoya got ill. Not even the Aoe's billions of Yen could find a cure. "Naoya..." He was struggling to speak himself. "Men are not supposed to cry." his father always said, "That is why Kiichi always cries," he would laugh. But, Reiji had been crying. Every day since they found out. He always cried whenever Naoya was asleep. During one of his crying sessions; he came to the conclusion that his father was wrong. It wasn't the crying that made Reiji feel less like a man - it was the fact that he couldn't save his love from such a horrible disease. "I know it hurts..." Reiji kissed his forehead. "I love you," and then kissed his lips.

"I love you too, Reiji." Naoya smiled, which made Reiji's heart break and he began crying into Naoya's neck.

It was a couple of days later... that Naoya died...

And all Reiji could say was "At least it doesn't hurt anymore."

XxXxX

Naoya's funeral was held two days after.

Reiji made sure everything was perfect from the coffin, which was dark wood and lined with purple silk, to the flowers, which were orange roses – the same shade of orange as Naoya's hair. He picked out Naoya's best suit and tucked a photo the two of them and King in his hand.

The guests, though it wasn't really a privilege, were Kiichi and Haruomi and Takamiya with Izumi. Reiji didn't want anything big; only those that knew his younger lover.

Naoya's funeral was bitter-sweet, the only comforting thought was Naoya would see his family again.

Shirakawa Naoya

1980 December 25th – 2003 March 23rd

Cherished Son

Loyal Brother

Respected Love

Rest in Peace, Naoya