I pretended I knew everything – or at least hoped I knew it all. The way I saw it was simple; if I knew what the problem was then I knew how to solve it. And I supposed that would normally apply. If the person that knew what was happening was planning on helping that is. And I think I've already mentioned that I'd rather have not.
But, after my sudden crash-landing in to reality I realised that I was only seeing half the picture. Sure, I saw that Lucy, Rose, Lysander, Hugo and most of the others had issues. But, I can safely say that I didn't notice the other people's behaviour.
At that time to me, it was either black or it was white; People were either sufferers or witnesses. But, they weren't. I realised this much when Molly – who was sat next to me – made a grab for my hand and whimpered when we witnessed Rose wince in pain. It truly horrible to see that and feel like you couldn't help. Because, even if I was selfishly refusing to help the others I could but Rose I knew wouldn't accept my help and if I tried to offer it she would just refuse me.
Molly was what I had once classed as a witness yet she still suffered. I was what I supposed was a witness and yet, as I'm sure you can tell, I still suffered. So how did only the people that had a specific problem affecting them count as sufferers? We were all sufferers really.
I squeezed Molly's hand too that night. I squeezed her hand back because she wasn't the only one that needed comfort. I needed comfort too. So we comforted each other and pretended nothing was wrong while everybody else caught up as if nothing was wrong.
I knew though. I knew each and every one of them had a single problem no matter how serious or whether it was just concern. My problem was pretty self-explanatory: I was worried about the clan and wanted to help. And I knew that Molly – who sat on my right at the large dining table – had the same problem. I was certain of Lucy – who sat on Molly's rights-'s issue and was sure to remind myself that Molly needed informing. If I needed comfort Molly was the best person to help me. Only she and Roxanne knew even half of what I knew and I knew that my best friend would be of more help than a twelve year old girl that I can only recall having three conversations with.
Molly and Lucy's mum sat on Lucy's other side and I could see her fidgeting with the table mat. Audrey was worse than I can remember her ever being and the sneaky glances she was casting toward Lucy's belly told me she knew. Her sick problem was the disgust that showed on her face as she did glance at Lucy. She couldn't handle Lucy messing up and I couldn't handle her treating Lucy that way. I was ready to stand up for Lucy right then. Molly squeezed my hand when she saw me glancing at them, everyone was happy it told me, don't mess it up.
Looking down the table a bit further I realized why Molly always tried to be the best she could, why she constantly needed to get the best marks in school and why her and Lucy always acted their best around their parents. They were always trying to be perfect and all for their father, who was always too busy trying to make his parents proud that he forgot about his own children.
Percy was sat next to his wife, blatantly ignoring her as he bragged about his newest promotion in the ministry, his new shiny car and lots of other impressive things in his life to his mother. Though, with great resentment I realised that not once did he mention that his wife had gotten a promotion herself, or that Molly had finished the term with the best marks in the year or that Lucy was given a chance to graduate early or any of the other great things they've done. Never once had he mentioned the word 'pride' or 'proud' when he and his family were asked questions about anything other than himself. I felt very nauseas just watching him talk animatedly with his mother who sat on his other side looking equally enthralled.
He was messing his family up because he wanted his parents' attention, which they willingly gave. I knew how Lucy had let this all happen to her. She was willing to risk it if it meant that she would get the slightest bit of attention from her father and now she was regretting it. Though, I'm one hundred percent sure she never consciously did all this, she was just desperate. He had made her desperate. That was not something a father should make his children feel.
His mother didn't seem to worry about anything. She was beaming. Grandmamma Weasley was constantly beaming as she sat there, surrounded by her family. Whether she was beaming at her husband who sat at the head of the table beside her, or at her son who was desperately telling her about his life's new updates. But, most of the time she beamed at the family surrounding her dining table. Grandmamma Weasley didn't know yet and to keep that smile on her face I wasn't going to tell her.
This clan had bigger problems than I had thought. What they so desperately needed was my help and though I didn't want to give it I had to. All because I could.
These chapters are getting longer. I will update as much as possible and when I can. Sorry if you get updates or alets a lot.