Haunted Memories

Chapter 2

I jumped when I heard Charlie coming in the house. I had been extremely jumpy ever since New Edward left me behind my house two days ago. Every new or loud noise made me jump. I had dreams that Old Edward came to save me, but New Edward defeated him. I always woke in cold sweats. I locked my window, knowing it wouldn't do anything against a vampire who wanted in. Nonetheless, it did help me feel slightly safer.

Charlie seemed to notice something was different, but I didn't know if he noticed the lack of Edward or if he linked the two together.

After New Edward left that first day, I sat outside waiting for him for what felt like hours. Eventually, I stood up on shaky legs and walked slowly back to the house. The living room was in slight disarray from my running through it. I cleaned up what I could and walked to my bedroom. I didn't come down that night, but I made plenty of noise to make sure Charlie knew I was home and safe… for the time being.

I felt a strange emptiness in my chest, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't dying yet. If you had asked me last week what I would do if Edward left, I would have told you that my world would be ripped into shreds and I would die a horrible, lonely, painful death. I chuckled humorlessly to myself. I was so melodramatic.

After sitting in my room for about 15 hours, I decided that I was not dying because my Edward was not my Edward anymore. A new, frightening Edward had taken his place.

I also decided that I definitely needed a long time to get back to being human. I showered and all but raced to the kitchen, feeling a little guilty about Charlie's dinner the night before.

I made a salad and ate it quickly, my stomach growling angrily at my lack of feeding it.

"Hey, Bella." Charlie greeted me quietly, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Hey, dad." I had taken to speaking very quietly. I'm not even sure why, but I was afraid to speak loudly. Maybe it was just because, somehow, I was afraid that New Edward would find me and kill me if I did speak too loudly. I sighed.

I put dinner on the table and did my best to act normal. It worked for the most part because Charlie was never the type to pry. I wonder what he would have done if he had come home to find me drained of all my blood on the sofa. I shivered. Then I remembered that not even New Edward could be that stupid. My body would undoubtedly be buried or whatever it is that vampires do with their victim's bodies so they're not discovered. I looked at Charlie sadly. He would never have known what had happened to me. Maybe he would have thought I ran away. I sighed again and cleaned up dinner, excusing myself to my room.

I sat on my bed for a long time, thinking about the events that led up to New Edward's appearance and wondering how Old Edward was doing. I was worried about him. Was he still at the mercy of New Edward?

I sighed and got ready for bed, laying back on the sheets and pulling the blankets around me. I missed Old Edward coming in through my window and holding me while I slept. I shuddered at the thought of New Edward coming through my window.

I fell asleep rather quickly that night, exhausted from my day of jumping at every noise and trying to see all around me at all times.

That night, my dream was different than the previous two nights. Old Edward was there, but New Edward never made an appearance. Old Edward held me and hummed my lullaby, rocking me back and forth as though we were dancing. He was just about to kiss me when I woke up, crying.

I sat in my bed, missing Old Edward more than I ever had before. I wanted him to hold me more than anything else in that moment. I wrapped my arms around myself and thought about him, hoping that if I thought hard enough, he could somehow break through whatever barrier that kept him from my thoughts and hear me calling for him.

I sat like that for an eternity, before I finally realized I wasn't breathing. I gasped out a breath and held my chest tighter, wishing my arms could somehow transform into his.

Giving up, I lay back down and looked at the clock. It was almost time to get up anyway, so I climbed out of bed to start my day.

School was horrendous. It usually was anyway, but it was somehow worse today because none of the Cullens were there. I had hoped to see at least Alice or Emmett. I wasn't sure if I could handle a run-in with Rosalie and Jasper would undoubtedly do something about my misery. I wanted my misery.

I sat at my lunch table with Jessica, Mike and Angela. I wanted to sit at my old table where Old Edward and I used to sit and talk.

Jessica was too absorbed with Mike to notice anything wrong with me, which I didn't mind, but Mike and Angela noticed. They also noticed the lack of my boyfriend. Unlike Charlie, they let me know that they put the pieces together.

Of course I could never tell them what really happened. They would put me in the psych ward faster than I could say 'gotcha.' So I made up a story about how Edward and I broke up. It was painful. Technically it was correct, considering we did have a big fight and he left, saying he would never come back, but I made it sound so much more human than it actually was.

The day finally ended and I left, seeing a very familiar silver Volvo leaving the parking lot. I was suddenly furious. He had come to school and wouldn't even let me see him! He wasn't there in Biology and none of the others were there. Had he turned them on me as well?

I ground my teeth together as I climbed into my truck and started it. I backed out carefully, and when I was on the main road, I floored it. I had never taken my poor truck past 40 miles per hour before. Edward had, but I hadn't. I pushed the memory away; I wanted to concentrate on the anger I was feeling now. I hoped that if I was angry enough, I could confront him and make him confess to me what had happened today.

I was sure he was already home by now even though I wasn't even halfway there yet. I sped as fast as my poor truck would go, hoping to get there before Alice warned him that I was on my way. I wondered how much Alice had actually been in on the plan when Edward decided to leave.

Then I shook my head at myself. Here I was contemplating conspiracy theories when my Old Edward was probably tearing himself apart for letting New Edward get so carried away. Alice had probably seen New Edward succeed, but Old Edward had defeated him. The thought made me smile and I felt a little hope building in my chest.

I pulled onto the dirt path that led to his house and slowed down a little. I didn't want my truck to fall apart because of the bumpy road.

I finally pulled in front of their house. The garage was closed, so I couldn't see if Edward had been able to escape me or not.

I shook my head again and carefully climbed down from the truck. I was almost surprised to see the door open before I even made it up the steps to the porch.

Alice stepped out of the house and closed the door behind her. She smiled unconvincingly at me. She stopped at the top of the stairs, just a few feet away from me, then sat down on the first step and indicated for me to set next to her.

I looked at her, confused, but then decided to play along. Maybe she was letting Edward get away… Maybe she was protecting me from him.

I didn't sit next to her. Instead, I stood before her and stared at her for a few seconds, trying to judge the emotion in her face. What I saw there scared me. The most prominent emotion on her face and in her eyes was pain. And her pain broke me.

"Alice…" I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. I wanted to soothe whatever pain she was experiencing.

"Bella," she started, looking at me with the same pain and sadness in her eyes. "I'm so sorry about the last few days. And about today. I just… we just…" She stopped and looked at me for a few more minutes, then pulled me to her and hugged me hard.

"I've missed you, Bella. Things have not been the same since Edward left. It is so lonely and I never have anyone to play with since Rosalie is never in the mood." She stroked my back and I imagined her face as a human, tear streaks running down from her eyes. The image made me want to cry. And then her words sunk in.

"Edward is gone?" I asked incredulously. She didn't let me pull away; instead she just nodded into my hair.

I pushed away from her anyway and looked at her. "When did he leave?" I asked harshly.

She looked at me uncertainly for a minute, then understanding crossed her features with her brows furrowing together. "Do you think he left you there, then stayed here in Forks?"

I looked down and nodded. Somehow I had really hoped he would still be here, no matter how much that meant he was avoiding me.

"Bella, he left that night. He has not been back since and I do not know where he is going. He does not have a destination in mind, he is just going. He was not lying to you. He's never lied to you."

I stared at her as I let her words sink in. He really was gone. "Tell me everything." I managed.

She looked down and took a deep breath before starting.

"The day I told you that you should spend alone… I saw something that I didn't want to believe. My visions have never been infallible and I wanted so hard to believe that there was nothing either you or Edward could do to make him hurt you. But all the same I saw him, Edward, bite you and kill you. I have never really been able to see dates, although sometimes something in the vision gives it away. There are also times when I just sense the timing."

She looked at me awkwardly before continuing. "There wasn't really anything in my vision to give away the timing, although I could feel when it would happen. I couldn't tell you that I saw him kill you because I knew you would never believe me. I knew you would be even more obstinate and demand that he be with you. I couldn't take that chance. When you agreed, I felt like rejoicing because you would be with us a little while longer.

"Edward was furious. I have never, in the whole time I have known him, ever seen him so angry. I tried to apologize and he seemed to understand that I couldn't control what I was seeing. I didn't like it any more than he did. The decision was made, however, to keep you separate for that day, and hopefully the vision would go away.

"It didn't. It did, however change slightly. It was no longer that day. It was a different time. Each time a new image would come into my head, Edward would do something to decide it wouldn't happen then, and the vision would change again. But it always ended the same."

She stood up and started down the stairs slowly. I followed her into the woods where we walked and I listened to her intently, hoping for some indication of how Old Edward beat New Edward in the quest for my life. I wondered if he told her about that or how he acted when he came home.

"Then he made the decision to leave. He decided to leave Forks and never come back and the vision of your death disappeared. I think he hated me then. He truly hated me with everything he had because my visions were telling him that you would die unless he left. He didn't take long to make up his mind so completely that I could see that he would never come back to us. It made me so sad and I wanted to tell him there was another way, but then he was gone. He went to see you and I tried so hard to leave him alone. I tried to keep my thoughts on other things to give him privacy while he said goodbye to you.

"He had been gone probably half an hour when your death suddenly came into my visions again. It was the same as the first vision. He was stalking you, and you died. I told Carlisle what was going on and he asked everyone to leave for a while so he and I could go to Edward and bring him back to us without a huge spectacle. Before we could even leave the house, though, he came back through the door and bolted into his room.

"I saw you at the same time I heard his cry. I have never heard any sound more excruciating than Edward that night. The mere sound of it convinced me he had killed you. There was no way he could be experiencing so much pain unless you were dead."

She jumped over a log in the path and stopped to wait for me as I climbed over it clumsily, losing my balance more than three times. With her help, I finally made it over the log with no broken bones. She smiled and continued walking.

"Carlisle and I went to him, trying to comfort him. I realized at that point that I could still see your future. I saw you, going to school, greeting your father, living. I was so confused because you were dead. I saw him hunting you and I saw your face, cold and dead.

"Edward told us that you were still alive and that's when I saw him again, leaving us and never coming back. He left only a few moments after that. It wasn't until the next day that I finally put the pieces together. I knew that he would never desire to hunt you because of his love for you. I also knew that if he were hunting you the way he would normally hunt for a meal, you would be dead. He had been faking it to make you believe that he was serious."

She finally stopped walking and turned toward me, leaning against a tree. "Because he was serious, Bella."

I shook my head to myself slowly. I didn't want to believe it, but it finally made sense. The voice I had heard in my head was right; there was something wrong with his attack… because he wasn't really attacking me. He was trying to make me see something that I refused to believe. I still refused to believe it, to an extent. I knew that he meant everything he had said about wanting to kill me and wanting to love me. I just wished that, somehow, he could love me without the fear of losing me to his intense need for my blood.

"You don't believe me?" She asked, almost sounding heartbroken. I sighed and looked into her butterscotch eyes.

"I believe you, Alice. I just… I never imagined that he could leave and now he is gone. I am finally putting together some of the details that made it so hard to believe. I just wish…" I shook my head, looking down.

I felt her arms go around me and I put my face to her shoulder, crying into her. I had cried so many times since Edward left, but this was the first time I felt any kind of release. New Edward and Old Edward molded back into one person, just as it should be. There never was a New Edward… only Edward, hell-bent on proving his point.

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