Chapter 3: His Answer

Skuld woke up Keiichi by using the simple expedient of throwing a bucket of water on his face. He woke up sputtering and swearing. Skuld saw that he was wearing a scruffy beard, and his fingernails were long, dirty, and ragged. He desperately needed a bath.

The strange girl woke up too, and rolled off him while rubbing her eyes. She was covered in tattoos on her arms and down her front. All the way down. Her blond hair was ratty and dirty. She was filthy, in both senses of the word. Skuld was disgusted.

Keiichi was trying to shake the cobwebs out of his head. He finally looked up at the surprise visitor, then he squawked and wrapped a blanket around himself. The girl remained au naturale. Apparently she didn't care.

Keiichi squinted at the tall goddess. "Who the heck are you? I don't recognize you."

Then the girl spoke in a raspy tone, "Keechee-coo, who's that?"

He explained, "Akuma, this is one of those goddesses I was telling you about. See? She looks just like a hot 22 year-old supermodel. They all look that way. Just like I described."

Skuld was completely flattered. She turned to the side and pushed out her chest a bit. She thought to herself, These boobs need to be bigger.. but still, yeah, I'm totally hot. Heh.

The girl said, "Wowww.. far out. I guess I didn't believe you. So this is one of them, eh? She's looks delicious. I'd do her."

Then Skuld thought, What? Eeewww. Whoa, wait a second, I'm on a mission here. This is business. Focus, Skuld, stay focused. Keiichi is in trouble. I need to help him.

Her next thought was, First step, get rid of the witch.

The girl licked Keiichi's ear in a totally lascivious way. Then she decided to wrap a dirty towel around herself, and she stood up and walked up to Skuld. Skuld looked down at her with disdain. The girl pointed at the blue raindrop sigil located in the center of the goddess' forehead. "Keechee-coo, what is that tattoo? I kinda like it. Face tattoo.. that's radical."

Keiichi also stood up, somewhat unsteady. He said, "Uh.. looks like a raindrop. Wait.. A raindrop! Hey! Skuld, is that you?"

That's better. She grinned like a maniac. "In the flesh. Voilà!" She spun around. Then she crossed her arms under her not insignificant bosom and grinned, "Yep, it's me."

"Wow.. I don't believe it. It really is you. Holy cow.. you've changed."

Enough flattery, time for business. "Nevermind that. What the hell is wrong with you?" She was getting angry with him.

Before he could answer, the girl whispered into Skuld's ear, "You wanna score some? I got lots of shooters left."

That did it. Skuld glared and picked up the girl by her throat. The girl squawked.

Keiichi said, "Hey, Skuld, put her down."

"No. I want to know who you are, girl." Skuld pushed the struggling girl against the wall. "Who you really are, Akuma. That's pretty lame, by the way. That name. In fact, it is a dead giveaway."

The girl started to giggle. Then something shocked Skuld's hand and she was forced to release her grip.

The girl dropped to the floor and stood up. The girl had a nasty grin. "Well, if it isn't the Daitenkaicho herself. Unescorted and alone, in neutral territory, and unprotected. Tsk tsk."

The girl transformed herself into a smaller and younger girl wearing a 'Hello Kitty!' outfit.

It was Eihwaz, Hagall's former second-in-command.

The most powerful demon left alive after the war.

The Daimakaicho.

The new Leader of Hell.

Skuld frowned at her. "Well, this meeting happened sooner than I expected. Of course. You knew I was coming for Keiichi to help me during the negotiations. So you got to him first and messed him up. Turned him into a drug addict. You rotten bitch! I'm gonna freeze your sorry ass so deep in ice..."

"Now, now. We're in parley. New age, new ground rules. Neutrality is in effect until you and I establish those new ground rules. You know that. You can't touch me until then."

Meanwhile, Keiichi was watching the exchange looking dumbfounded. And he was starting to feel a little sheepish about how he was discovered. "Uhm, while you ladies are having your nice little chat, I think I'm going to go put on some clothes."

Skuld whirled to face him. "You stay right where you are, mister. You let yourself get hooked. I'm dealing with you next."

"Gulp.."

Eihwaz laughed, "Good one, Skuld. Nice way to butter up your future husband."

This time both Skuld and Keiichi spoke in unison, "What?"

"You heard me. That's why you are here, right? You need a spouse to become the Daitenkaicho. It's required. Anzus had veto rights over every decision that Tyr made, so she basically had disapproval rights over all his decisions. It's your dumb system in Asgard, correct? A power check on the Big Boss, so he doesn't do something he'd regret later? So, you want Mr. Squish here to take on Anzus' role, to rubberstamp every idiotic decision you make. Because you know he's such a wuss that he'd roll over and go along with every stupid decision of yours, no questions asked."

"Shut up, you liar. That's not true."

"Am I lying? You're first class now, and that means you cannot say a direct lie yourself, correct?" Then she walked up to Keiichi. "Keiichi, dear, go ask her. Ask her if she is here to try to shanghai you up to Asgard and put a ring on you."

Skuld fumed, "I'm not! I just want his advice!"

"But it could lead to that, right? His becoming your veto-spouse? Probably will, yes?"

Skuld remained silent and fuming.

Eihwaz smirked, then looked at Keiichi. "Did you know she has time limit? She can't remain Daitenkaicho if she doesn't meet the qualifications. Even in an emergency, she has only six months to meet them or else she must step down. Permanently. That means you have, what, two months left now?"

Keiichi finally spoke up, "Is this true? Is that why you are here?"

"No, it is not!" Then she looked down. "Ok, honestly, I don't know. I've been dealing with one crisis after another. I just want your advice for the negotiations. I think maybe that when my term ends, I'll just step down. Honestly, I haven't really thought that far ahead yet. And that's the truth."

Eihwaz laughed even harder. "You haven't even thought this through yet? C'mon, nobody is that stupid."

Keiichi could almost see the smoke rising from Skuld's head. Then Eihwaz twisted the knife. "And you know what? He's really good in bed. I think he picked up some moves from your mom. She was really limber. Say, if you don't want him, can I keep him?"

That did it. Skuld rolled up both her sleeves. "That's it. I don't care how many rules I violate. I'm going to hand you your ass. Here. Right. Now."

Eihwaz then looked at her 'Hello Kitty!' wristwatch. "Oh my, look at the time! I must be going. Skuld, I'll contact you later to set up the meeting time and place for the negotiations. We both have much work to do before then. Heh. Tah-tah!" She disappeared in a cloud of greasy black smoke.

Skuld screamed at the ceiling, "Yaarrrgghhh!" Keiichi dived for cover.

Then she blinked her eyes. The poor man was cowering in fear behind the closet door.

Her eyes quickly became soft. "Keiichi, I am so sorry you had to see that. Really. I'm very sorry."

He poked his head out. "It's okay.."

She gave him a gentle smile. "I like your beard. Hey, you know, if you trimmed it and groomed it a little bit, it would make you look really dignified."

He approached her, but still kept his distance. "Eh, it scratches. I'll probably shave it off."

"That's fine. You look nice either way." Then she looked down again, "Keiichi, I'm really sorry that I scared you. It's just my tsundere thing. You know that. Don't let it frighten you." She looked back up at him with kind eyes, "I'm still trying to get a handle on all this stuff, so much has happened. Look, I'm really sorry. I'll try to not do it again, ok?"

Keiichi marvelled at her sudden change in demeanor. She looked so gentle and caring. It was like she was a different person. "Uh, fine. Sure. No problem. I know it's just your temper talking."

"Thank you. I know I need to work on that. I'm so sorry. Just get dressed. I'll meet you at the kitchen table. I'd like to talk to you, if you don't mind." She turned to leave the room, then she turned back and said, "Oh.. and take a bath first. I mean, really, you stink." She left.

Keiichi stood there alone for a moment. The lies that Eihwaz had planted in his heart would not go away.

Skuld remained seated at the kitchen table and waited for Keiichi to clean himself up. Her mind was racing, trying to digest and understand everything she had seen during the past hour.

That girl's name, Akuma. Seriously? Skuld knew that the kanji for that name also meant 'demon'. What a dead giveaway.

Why didn't Keiichi spot that? Or worse, what if he did, and he just didn't care?

Skuld continued to brood. What had happened to the poor man? Eihwaz got to him first and completely messed him up. That bitch somehow got him to repeatedly inject himself with some kind of mind altering substance. Something probably like alcohol, but much worse, and very likely physically addicting.

But why was he so vulnerable to her temptations? What happened to him? He didn't know about Ragnarök.

But he knew that his wife was leaving him, and with Belldandy's spirit somewhere inside her head. He was losing the two loves of his life. Both of them. At the same time. He knew it was some kind of suicide mission, but it was never fully explained to him.

He didn't know that Belldandy's spirit had in fact survived the mission and transcended, that she was now... someplace else. Before the mission his wife explained that Belldandy would be waiting for him 'up there', but he never understood what she meant by that, not really. All he knew was that they were gone.

They all left him, even Skuld, who rushed off to help save Asgard. Keiichi was alone. And so the days passed, then weeks, then months. He was lost. At some point he dived into alcohol and chemicals to try to stop the pain.

Skuld understood his pain better than anybody. She was there when it happened, for she had lost her Big Sis and her adopted mother, also at the same time. And yet Skuld didn't crash into major depression and drug use like Keiichi did. Yes, she knew that Eihwaz's temptations contributed to it, but they wouldn't alone have been sufficient to make him fall apart like that. Something else must have pushed him.

Skuld knew she needed to talk with him. To find out his state of mind. She wanted to know what was really going on inside him.

To try to save him.

That was Skuld's new top priority. As if she didn't have enough on her plate right now. But he came first.

Fully dressed, he finally walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table across from her. He was now clean shaven. "Uh, thank you for spotting the succubus, or whatever. I'm grateful. But that still doesn't explain why you are here. And don't lie to me. I'll know. Look, I know you can't tell direct lies, but you can evade just like Belldandy could. My wife was the exception. She literally didn't know how to lie, and you already know that was a big reason why I loved her. So I ask again: Why are you here?"

Skuld decided she would be honest with him. She had to. If she was going to trust him implicitly in his new role, he would have to trust her as well. No lies, no evasions.

"Look, Keiichi, what Eihwaz said back there was partly true, but it was mainly a lie. At least I think so. The bottom line is that I am here to ask you for help."

"What kind of help?"

"Keiichi, look at me."

"Uh, yeah. You look hot."

Skuld started to blush. "Thank you.. really. That means a lot coming from you. But that's not what I mean."

"Okay.."

"Look at me. I'm all grown up now. I literally grew up in two weeks. So in some ways I feel like a grown-up person, but in other ways I don't. Now, I can still feel myself changing, and maybe I will soon be a 100% grown-up, in every way, but not yet."

She went on, "Keiichi, I'm basically the boss of Heaven now. And I'm not ready for it. Maybe I never will be."

"Huh? I'm not following. How did that possibly happen?"

She explained, "I am what they call the Daitenkaicho. That means 'The President of Heaven'. Keiichi, there was a terrible war Upstairs. A terrible, terrible war. Almost everybody else is dead, almost everybody that we ever knew. It wiped out our whole family: Big Sis, Urd, your wife - my mother. Everybody. I'm all alone now."

He remained silent.

She held his hand. "Look, there are these negotiations coming up with Eihwaz. You just saw how badly I flubbed things back there. She'll run rings around me. I need you there during the negotiations to give me advice. That's all I am asking of you, just tell me what you think I should agree to. And maybe help me with some ideas and suggestions as I try to manage the rebuild of Heaven. That's it."

She gripped his hand harder. "Keiichi, it is only temporary. You heard Eihwaz. My term is up in two months. Then you can go back home. Look, I really need your help right now. Can you please help me?"

Keiichi then thought about it for a moment.

Then he sat back and gave Skuld his answer.

She was shocked.

"No."