It's been much too long. TwistingVisions, I have to be careful w/ them though cuz it breaks da rulez & I hate being deleted. It's a silly story anyway, mostly.. Fanning over Addy is always allowed. LadyDragonsblood, cookies and coffee would be more preferred for ingestion. I explain them more later. Thank you as always, hun. M.j's place, thanks. Rhiannamator, no one can blame him for that. The dialog does run away from me though.. Hardylover18, I hope so. AmarettoLove, thank you.

Immortally Yours;
Chapter three/ 'Vampires Will Probably Hurt You'
Rated; M/ L (monstery things)

The next day Gerard woke up in his coffin, pushing open the lid as he sat up and yawned wide, showing two straight white fangs (if you say like Twilight, I swear to Jericho..) that he could retract. The coffin was black with dark red plush lining and black lacy stuff around the edges. He smacked his lips at the end of the yawn and rubbed his eyes, making sure he was coherent before he crawled out. The crack of dawn was no time to be up for any creature of any origin. It was a myth that sunlight killed vampires. He could go out in the sun, it was a bit uncomfortable and unpleasant, and sometimes if he stayed directly out in it for too long he got a rash, but it would not kill him. He was however very sensitive to sunlight and it hurt his eyes, so he wore a hoodie or used a black umbrella and black sunglasses for protection unless it was a dreary day like today. He still slept in a coffin because he was fucking goffik and it was cool.

Gerard had a dorm room on the Charmed campus in the section called Pandora. (the preps occupied the section named Veracious, ironically meaning truthful, when like who could trust a prep..?) He was enjoying being away from home for awhile.. though he did visit as often as he could. He didn't know why Phil or Jeff didn't have dorm rooms here, they could totally stay over and have slumber parties and watch movies... and jeez, that sounded preppy.. ugh.

"Blech.." Gerard shook that yuck feeling away before changing out of his baggy black Killjoyz tee that he used for pajamas and into a black dress with belled quarter-length sleeves and long ripped tattered ends with black boots. He put on tons of black eye makeup and teased his hair to look like a mess.

He felt just like Morticia Addams from The Addams Family. Even more so as he stopped to lightly touch the fat blood-red rose that sat alone in a black vase that was on a table in a shadowed corner of the room. He wouldn't cut the rose bud off like Morticia did, no.. He preferred when they dried up and wilted and turned a decaying brown, like some of the other flowers he had sitting on top of his dresser. He liked when they died, and this one would be simply gorgeous when it finally withered.

-xx-

It was raining and cloudy so there was no sun, which Jeff was very happy about- which was ironic since those emo goths were always so depressed. At least it wasn't a cliched 'the rain matches my mood' thing. Jeff stepped outside in the rain to stare into the endless gray abyss, the sky was gloomy and dark and the light sprinkle and chill in the air felt nice. It would've felt nicer in werewolf form, it had been an extremely hot summer and all the fur made him itchy, so a cooler autumn was a welcome. A drop of rain landed on his cheek as the rain peppered down harder, his heavily dark eyeliner already smudged and beginning to run.

Jeff had gotten up that morning, found Matt still asleep, again in his room. He dressed in his baggy black pants that had belts and buckles and zippers all up and down the legs and a black tee with more belts and buckles and zippers all over the front, black platform boots and a white studded belt with a chain hanging from it, and a studded wrist cuff. He changed his earplugs to a slime green. He wore no jacket, the chill felt too inviting.

He had awoken from a dream he'd rather ignore. In it Adam sat on a bed covered with white satin sheets in a room that glowed with a blurry white light. The angel was wearing a short white lacy nightie, one skinny strap slipping down his shoulder as he beckoned to the werewolf. Half of Adam's blond hair was up in two pigtails and two strands of his bangs hung down in front to frame his face, curling slightly at the ends. Between his two full pink lips was the stick of a lollipop that he sucked on. He pulled his lips off with a pop and a giggle, smiling at Jeff and staring with hazy seductive eyes as a pink tongue lapped at the pink lollipop. It was all so pure and innocent, but yet so slutty and.. fuck, he could just push him back on the bed, toss the lolly away and defile him right there on the heavenly white...

He pushed the dream and his hard-on from his mind and carried on to school.

By the time he reached the magic academy, Gerard had texted him to tell him he was in the dinning hall- which was basically the cafeteria, only with a lot more room and a better selection of food- so he met him there. Jeff ordered some raw bacon and could just mentally hear his brother bitching that he should cook his damn food before eating it. Puh, whatever, he was a werewolf and ate raw meat all the time. He found Gerard sitting at a table having a bowl of Count Chocula with blood instead of milk and a glass of red blood.

Gerard looked up at him as he had the spoon up to his mouth, noticing Jeff's apparent 'look' and shrugging. "What?"

Jeff's lips quirked. "Count Chocula? Really?"

Gerard had shoved the cereal in his mouth and was chewing. "They were out of Frankenberry." He licked at the blood on his lips.

Phil dropped heavily in a chair beside Gerard and sighed. He was wearing jeans with holes in them that was fastened with safety pins and a black t-shirt with a white skeletal design and a red bloody heart through the ribcage with red Converses and a black studded belt and checkered wrist bands. "Maybe I should move into a dorm. I could fucking sleep an extra ten minutes."

"Ah, but then where would we crash?" Jeff asked, gnawing on his bacon and licking the grease off his fingers.

"Your house?" Punk shrugged.

"We never crash there." Gerard pointed out.

"Ya really wanna be around Matt?" Jeff asked, because even he knew his brother could get needy and annoying.

"He leers at me and it's creepy." Gerard crammed another spoonful in.

"Count Chocula? Really?" Phil smirked.

"They were out of Frankenberry!"

Phil squinted. "Just.. you're a vampire, and it's Count Chocula, and he's a vampire."

Gerard rolled his eyes. "You're very observant." So he liked kiddie cereal and spooky-themed kiddie cereal, what of it? He liked the sugar with his blood. "Anyway, Jeff, I don't know why you don't just get a dorm here."

"Then who would take care of Matt?" Really, Jeff was all he had left, and family wise, Matt was all Jeff had.. or the only one who'd want a vicious werewolf as kin, Jeff thought bitterly.

"Ah, he's a big boy, he can take care of himself." Phil concluded.

Gerard was about to take another bite when suddenly someone bumped into him and all the blood spilled on his dress. "Bastard!" He growled angrily, glaring up into the dead eyes of a bald seven-foot tall monster. He didn't have a mask anymore and was bald and didn't have hair anymore. He wore a black and red tank top with black and red pants that had rips all in them and looked like flames of hell and he wore studded wrist cuffs and black boots. The vampire hissed at him.

"Hey, whoa now. Careful. You're a vampire and he's a necro." Phil warned, placing a hand on Gerard's shoulder.

The monster known as Kane rolled his eyes. "Don't believe everything you hear, Punky."

"Punky..?" Phil folded his arms and muttered, insulted.

"And besides, I'm a demon, what does it matter what- or who- I do?" Kane's voice was deep and grainy, his eyes turning solid black to show he was a demon because their eyes did that.

Jeff nodded up to Kane. "You're right, buddy. Do what you want." He 'toasted' his bacon to him and shoved the last piece in his mouth.

"As long as you don't spill nothing else on me." Gerard glowered, wiping at the blood with a napkin. He saw the blood had soaked the white paper and he held it above his head, tilting his head back and squeezing it into his open mouth.

"I am dreadfully sorry about that." He said in a tone that meant he wasn't sorry. "Had I meant to, it wouldn't have been someone else's blood I'd spilled of yours."

Punk shrugged. "I could spill things on you too."

Gerard wiped at a stray drop of blood on his lip, ignoring Phil. "I wouldn't ever try it if I were you."

Kane snorted. "Cocky vampires." He folded his arms. "I could possess you if I wanted, make you do whatever I wanted."

"I don't have a soul for you to possess, flame-boy." Gerard reminded.

"You have a body." Kane leaned down to stare at him, eyes raking over said body as he grinned evilly. It would have sent a shudder down a normal human's spine.

Gerard only huffed. "You wouldn't fit in me."

Punk nearly flushed and choked on air. "Oh, god.. don't say shit like that.. fuck, why am I not a demon..?" He dropped his head in his hands. He was frustrated enough.

Gerard turned his glare to Punk. "You're a pervert."

"I think Gee meant to say, you neither could handle him." Jeff spoke in.. His eyes had been searching the cafeteria for some certain someone that he wouldn't let himself admit to himself that he was searching for. He saw Adam sitting at a far away table, smiling just like in his dream. He watched Adam lick his lips and so didn't think about those lips wrapped around his dick.

"It's not me that's making something dirty out of it." Gerard stated.

Phil blushed that time.

"Me neither." Kane raised back up.

"I was always meaning to ask why do they call you Kane, Kane?" Jeff asked, wanting to change the subject and take his mind off the angel.

"Because I killed my brother." He tossed his head back and laughed demonically. Cain killing his brother in the bible being the joke. Kane hadn't really killed his brother, he couldn't because his brother was the Undertaker, a powerful reaper, lord of the underworld, etc..

"Candy cane's more accurate." Gerard mumbled.

Kane just smiled, patting Gerard on top of the head. "And I'm always raising it. You better remember that, Batgirl." Kane then walked away, leaving Gerard all twitchy.

Punk chewed on his lip, studying Gerard. "Now I'm thinking of you as Batgirl."

"You wish."

"I really do. Do you really not have a soul?" Punk squinted at him. "I mean, vampires are supposed to be the undead. I never got that, isn't undead technically alive? I mean if you're not dead, then you're alive.. right?"

"Brought back to life." Jeff muttered.

"Like a zombie. No, different monsters." Phil put his arms out in front of him and staggered a bit in his seat, making groaning noises. "Braaaains.. brrrrraaaainsssss.."

Gerard thought on it a moment. "But that's for people who were turned during life. I was born a vampire. I'm a pure blood."

"Does that mean you were like born dead?" Even Phil knew that made no sense.

"What?" Gerard squeaked. "I wasn't born dead, you moron. I don't even know how that'd fucking work! You definitely need those brains."

Phil was lack-luster. "Harsh. You bleed, so do you have a heartbeat?"

"That's my business." He did, but it was fainter than a human's.. He never was quite sure how it worked.. maybe his parents needed to have the birds and the bats- geddit, bats cuz he's a vampire- talk with him. And no, not the birds and the bees talk, pervs, he knew how that worked, thank you. "I don't need to have a soul to have blood in my veins and a heartbeat."

"Just wondering.. I mean, even us monsters and questionable creatures of society have souls.. even if they're dark ones.." Phil mused.

"And quite tarnished." Jeff added.

"Cuz don't vamps like go to purgatory when they're staked or whatever? You'd have to have a soul then."

"Mmmm, steak.." Jeff rubbed his belly.

"Not that steak, Hardy."

"They'd go to purgatory if they didn't have a soul, I think.. pretty sure, I got a one-way ticket straight down when I finally bite the silver." Jeff reasoned.

"I don't know. I've never been staked and don't really plan on being so any time soon. I need to go change." Gerard got up, leaving his cereal and blood.

"We've already missed first period." Jeff said, like he much cared.

"Hey, can you smell periods?"

"Brooks!" Jeff scolded.

"Yeah, I think you're on yours." Gerard then stomped off.

Punk shrugged. "Eh, it's just Vickie's incantation class. I don't need that harpy to teach me how to word a spell."

"I thought she was a banshee.." Jeff said, getting up when Phil did.

"Not much difference, is there?"

Jeff was going to dispute if there was, but really he didn't know if there was a difference, so he left it alone. Adam was raking his fingers through his hair as Jeff looked over. The blonde bitch was still smiling as he talked to that ginger prep. Jeff decided he would like to pull that hair... out.

Gerard stalked back to his room using the cobblestone walkway that connected the school to the student living dorms. He was irritated. Irritated at Kane for making him change- granted it was black and no one could visually tell.. but he could smell it and he'd smell delicious all day and be hungry all day.

He never needed to smell periods, why would anyone want to? He could hear heartbeats and blood flow if he concentrated. He had learned to tune it all out and focus attention elsewhere to control cravings and homicidal tendencies. So he didn't know much about vampire death or birth.. He knew how things affected him personally and that's all that mattered.

He had no super strength, he couldn't turn into a bat or any other creature that he was aware of, he possessed no glamour. He had no mind control powers- but that would fucking rock!- nor could he read minds- but that might get boring after awhile anyway.

He was just a normal vampire.. he was fairly agile and cat-like though, he could jump somewhat high.. just not like super high or anything like that. He was quiet and sneaky when stalking. He could see very well in the dark. He couldn't fly. He couldn't go without blood, he needed it to survive. He could not run with super sonic speed, but he was quick. He would age very slowly throughout the course of his life and probably never die of natural causes. Honestly, he didn't know a real 600 year old vampire, no one made it that long that he was aware of and he didn't expect to either.. a hunter would eventually get him.. or something.. Gerard wouldn't say he was immortal in truth, but out loud in insolence and pride, he so would.

He thought of putting on some tight black jeans.. but opted for a shorter skirt that was tattered at the ends and a Fozzy shirt that was faded and tight with rips in it to show some skin and some black knee-high boots to drive Punk crazy for the rest of the day.

If no one gets any of the references made, that's okay. I put together different monster lore, some is from Charmed or Supernatural. I have to have the useless clothing descriptions.. I'm trying to keep some of the trends of My Immortal. Anything that sounds stupid is probably supposed to. I think I've been using this as therapy lately & just been letting it write itself.. I've been depressed irl & have wanted something emo, but didn't want seriously depressing or angst, so I hid in the silliness of this.. though some of it's beginning to be less parody & is taking on a life of its own. Some things or lines have been borrowed from My Immortal in homage; the whole Count Chocula & blood thing w/ Kane, the coffin, the rain making Jeff happy. Usually Gerard's my Wednesday Addams instead of Morticia. Title comes from the song title Vampires Will Never Hurt You. It's been so long, nearly a year. I've been writing it in a notebook, so if I can stop being lazy & type it out, maybe it won't take another year to get somewhere with it.