The 2nd Annual Fannie Awards Chapter 3: Best Single Line, a kim possible fanfic

The lights begin to shine, highlighting the large stage up front, the light glinting brightly off the giant sized Golden Ruffie statue. The music begins as the light splits, moving to cover either end of the stage.

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls and mole rats... WELCOME TO THE SECOND ANNUAL FANNIE AWARDS!

And now, your hosts for the event... Jason "Zaratan" Jones, and Matt "Mattb3671" Bryson!

Jason comes in from the right, his black tux very trim and proper, as he waves to the cheering crowd. From the left comes Matt, looking equally slick. When they meet in the middle, they clasp hands, smiling broadly. Together, they approach the podium, Matt raising both arms into the air, soaking in the applause.

Jason just shakes his head at Matt's antics. "Well Matt, here we are for anouther round of the Fannie Awards. It sure has been some year, hasn't it?"

"It sure has Jason. Hundreds of new stories, even without any new episodes to enjoy."

"You've been pretty quiet this year though, haven't you."

Matt just gulps, looking out over the crowd until his eyes lock onto one particular set. "Umm... yeah... hgfdjshs..."

Jason leans closer, eyebrow raised in confusion. "Ummm... what was that?"

"I said... umm... black hole probe."

Jason just winces. "That bad, huh? You know, I honestly didn't expect him to be that mad at you. I mean, it's not like..."

"Ixnay on the muffsay man, he's giving me the dad eye."

Jason just looks out and does indeed see MrDrP giving him the dad eye, and it gives him the shivers. "Umm... all right then, let's get on with the show. Presenting the award for Best Single Line are WesUAH and Sensei!"

WesUAH and Sensei walk up to the podium, throwing the occasional wave to the crowd (Sensei does the beat-chest-give-peace-sign thing, as he is the object of most of the cheering), and bow to each other in greeting. Somehow, Wes manages this without falling down or clonking his head against something.

Unfortunately, his glasses fall off.

Equally unfortunately, he manages to knock them off the stage while going after them.

Before they can hit the ground, Sensei leaps off of the stage, flips in the air, lands on his feat, catches them handily, and then jumps back up on the stage. Much ooh-and-ahhing follows this.

"Ah... arigato gozaimasu, Sensei-san," Wes says as he takes his glasses back.

"You are welcome, Wes-san," Sensei replies politely. "Shall we begin?"

"Well, since we've given the audience their ninja entertainment for the evening...," he says wryly, earning a small laugh. He grins and makes a bit of a show of replacing his glasses on his head.

"One of the great things about the world of fanfic is the shear variety of it all. Stories about Kim and Ron and the rest can range across anything from Teen Angst Drama, to Action Adventure, to Smuff, to John Ringo style Carnography. The only limitation is the imagination and word-smithing skill of the author, and we've a lot of excellent authors in the room tonight. Many amazing and memorable stories have come out of your pens - er, keyboards, rather - and we are each the richer for having read them.

"And in many of those stories," he continues, becoming slightly more animated as he gets into the purpose of the talk, "we find that one little nugget. That one single line that reaches out and grabs the reader, and says 'ah-hah! Pay attention to me!'.

"We all have favorite lines from outside the fandom; in books, in movies, in songs. Lines like 'Luke, I am your father'; 'Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing. To hope's end I rode, and to heart's breaking. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and a red nightfall!'; 'When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't crawl, when you can't do that… … you find someone to carry you.'; 'And in the fury of this darkest hour\I will be your light\A lifetime for this destiny\For I am Winter born\And in this moment...\I will not run, it is my place to stand\We few shall carry hope\Within our bloodied hands.'; 'Thus came Aragon, son of Arathorn...'; 'There are more things in heaven and on earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophies.'"

He pauses a moment, his thoughts in faraway fields... but then he tosses his head and draws himself back.

"They make you laugh. They make you smile. They make you cry. They make you think. They make you bare your teeth in a tiger's smile, for the sword is drawn and the villain is soon to get his. Whatever the reaction, the key component to a Great Line is that it provokes a reaction in you. It makes you feel.

"Though they are only a part of the story, and are on occasion so noticeable because they run against the emotional grain of the tale, in many cases, mayhaps in most cases, the single line is the heart of the story rendered in microcosm."

"The shape of the mountain," Sensei intones serenely, "can be discerned from even the smallest pebble."

Wes looks at him and raises a questioning eyebrow.

"That some sort of ninja zen thing?"

"Fractal theory."

"Ah."

He shakes his head in bemusement. In an almost unconscious action, he pushes his glasses up his nose before he begins speaking again.

"Well, infinitely repeating patterns aside, the nominees for Best Single Line are..."

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Classic Cowboy - The Batman - Barbara Gordon - "Holy crap Unka Ron, what happened to your back?"

"And now, lunch!" He said, bringing around a platter of hotdogs in browned coverings.

"Marshmallow Hotdogs!" Kim almost squealed as he placed the platter on the table. "I haven't had these in years."

"I remember they're your favorite, right?" Ron said going to the fridge. "What'll it be for refreshment?"

"Beer will work," Kim said, already devouring a dog.

"Coca-Cola Classic it is!" Ron replied, pulling out a two liter.

"Just one beer to kick off the morning …" Kim pouted.

"No, KP, not with me serving," Ron said firmly, avoiding her gaze in fear of her old super-weapon.

Ron started to sit down when a young voice spoke from the door way. "Holy crap, Unka Ron, what happened to your back?" Barbara asked, staring at Ron's bare back. "It's all scratched up! What happened? Did it hurt?"

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King in Yellow - Ninjas in the House - The noise from the kitchen awakened Shego. It was a curious noise. It sounded like someone beating a ninja against the refridgerator.

Bonnie was in the mother of all rotten moods. Shego had let slip that Yori was from some sort of ninja school, apparently the one where Ron had trained the last two summers. Why had Ron never mentioned Yori to her? The two of them were together right now. Bonnie had a small headache, she wasn't sure if it was the tension or the MSG in the take-out. But she was also hungry. Perhaps a little peanut butter and jelly sandwich would help. She came downstairs in the dark, but flipped the light on when she got into the kitchen.

"Peanut butter," she mumbled. "If I was peanut butter where would I be hiding?"

The ninja in the pantry noticed he was standing by the peanut butter jar. Trusting his black garb to keep him invisible in the darkness of pantry as Bonnie reached in he put the jar in her hands.

"Oh, good, there it is," Bonnie muttered, taking the peanut butter out of the pantry.

The ninja had time to draw a sigh of relief -- before a hand reached back into the pantry and grabbed him.

The noise from the kitchen awakened Shego. It was a curious noise. It rather sounded like someone beating a ninja against the refrigerator. Slipping out of bed quietly enough to leave Kim asleep Shego went downstairs.

The light was on in the kitchen, and it took Shego's eyes a minute to adjust from the darkness of the hallway. "You've got to do that more quietly," Shego told Bonnie, "You woke me up."

"Be with you in just a second," Bonnie said, slamming the ninja two more times into the 'fridge.'

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Starving Lunatic - One in a Billion - Shego - "What the? Where have you been these past few years? When the woman says she's on a plane, chances are she's actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don't want to get caught by her!"

Shego was fortunate that she was standing right there, though because once they got off their phones, she realized something. She had to go out and buy Kim an engagement ring before her mother showed up. The devil woman would not shut up if she showed up to find Kim without a proper ring on her finger.

"Princess, what size ring do you wear?" Shego asked.

"Why? You don't have to get me a ring," Kim answered.

"I do if I don't want to hear that woman's mouth when she gets here," the green-skinned woman pointed out.

"Why don't you call her and just make up some story about why you missed her call?" Kim suggested.

"What the? Where have you been these past few years? When that woman says she's on a plane, chances are she's actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don't want to get caught by her," Shego replied.

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Zaratan - The Ronless Factor - Bonnie - "Kim... I think... I think your boyfriend was a cross-dresser!"

Kim froze again, just for a moment, then put the towel on the counter. She took two steps into the room, then put her hands on her hips. "Fine, so you're talking to Ron. If it's really him, I want you to tell me something only Ron and I would know."

"Oh, is that all. Fine Stoppable, give me something I can tell her." She waited, and the moment seemed to stretch as he hmmed to himself. After a minute, Bonnie got impatient. "This century, some of us are still getting older you know."

Kim's face paled a bit at that, but Bonnie paid her no mind. Finally, Ron thought of something. "Okay, there was the time when we switched bodies."

"He says remember… wait, what? Switched bodies?"

Ron blushed slightly. "Um, yeah, can you just focus on repeating what I'm saying first, before we start in on the explanations."

Bonnie frowned, but nodded slightly.

"Anyways, it was when we were practicing so I could cover for her during the Regionals…"

"Wait, this happened at Regionals a couple years ago?"

"Bonnie!"

"Fine." Bonnie turned back to Kim, who was looking at her a bit strangely. "Anyways, Ron says he wants you to remember the brain switch thing at Regionals a couple years ago which you almost blew for us."

"I did not almost blow it for us Bonnie."

"Whatever. Ron?"

Ron just swallowed a bit. "Anyways, we were practicing, and I mentioned that I found the breeze from the wardrobe quite refreshing."

Bonnie just looked back up at Kim, her lips curling into a bit of a smile. Her chest was shaking slightly, and the beginning of tears were at the corners of her eyes. Kim looked down at her wonderingly, until Bonnie fell back on the bed laughing almost maniacally. The brunette clutched at her sides, as tears now freely streamed down her cheeks, her laughter both loud and boisterous.

Ron just crossed his arms in front of himself. "It's not that funny."

Kim just looked annoyed. "What is so funny?"

Keeping one hand on her stomach, Bonnie just laughed again. "Kim… I think… I think your boyfriend was a cross-dresser."

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"And the winner is... Starving Lunatic - One in a Billion - Shego - "What the? Where have you been these past few years? When the woman says she's on a plane, chances are she's actually in a cab on the way to the house! I don't want to get caught by her!"

Everyone looks around expectantly, but no one moves. It isn't until a technician from the back rushes up to the podium, carrying a card.

The card is handed to WesUAH with a message on it. "I've just been informed that Starving Lunatic is not here to accept this award. Apparently, she is missing and presumed scared of her freaking mind!"

"She'd better be!" Shego hollered from the audience while cracking her knuckles.

Jason grumbles as he returns to the stage. "How can we have a show without Starving Lunatic? She's up for almost everything."

Matt just shrugs. "Don't worry about it man, everyone else is here. You know what they say, on with the show."

Jason just sighs. "Right, right. Anyways, let's welcome our first performer of the night, Jackie Wilson, with Higher and Higher!"

Your love, lifting me higher
Than i've ever been lifted before
So keep it it up
Quench my desire
And i'll be at your side, forever more

You know your love (your love keeps lifting me)
Keep on lifting (love keeps lifting me)
Higher (lifting me)
Higher and higher (higher)
I said your love (your love keeps lifting me)
Keep on (love keeps lifting me)
Lifting me (lifting me)
Higher and higher (higher)

Now once, I was down hearted
Disappointment, was my closest friend
But then you, came and it soon departed
And you know he never
Showed his face again

I'm so glad, i've finally found you
Yes that one, in a million girls
And I whip, my loving arms around you
I can stand up, and face the world