*Updates will be sporadic at best since I'm pretty busy with school. They'll most likely be shorter than the first 2 chapters, too. I'm not sure what I'm hoping for with this story but I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading it.
"What do you think about Honoka-chan dating Tsubasa-san?"
Umi paused thoughtfully, carefully considering her words. She didn't want to upset Kotori with her answer but she didn't want to lie either.
"...I'm happy for Honoka" the bluenette finally replied.
"..."
Kotori remained quiet so Umi simply continued.
"I think finding mutual love is a wonderful thing. If Tsubasa-san makes Honoka happy and treats her well, then I am happy for her."
Silence.
'...was that the wrong thing to say?'
Umi was more than a little surprised when she heard a small giggle from the other end.
"That's a very mature thing to say. Ahhh~ where did my shy and easily embarrassed Umi-chan go?" she teased.
Umi's cheeks felt hot and she knew they had a pink tint but she spoke as calmly as she could manage. "W-well, we all have to grow up at some point..." she replied, slightly miffed that her face was heating up so much at a small tease.
At least Kotori was taking this far better than Umi had imagined.
"Yes, we certainly do" Kotori laughed in response. Umi closed her eyes and did her best to etch the soft, lilting sound into her mind. She was happy that Kotori could still laugh normally despite recently getting her heart broken.
Umi had always found Kotori to be a little mysterious. The ashen-haired woman usually had a gentle smile and kind expression on her face, but Umi suspected that Kotori was the type to know more than she let on. That she was much more observant than most gave her credit for.
The bluenette was drawn to that hidden side of her friend. Umi wanted to be the only one that Kotori told about the things she never thought she'd say out loud. She wanted to be Kotori's sole confidant; to know the woman better than Kotori even knew herself. Even if it was just once, she wanted Kotori to look at her with the same glowing expression that she had always looked at Honoka with.
But Umi was aware of how selfish her desires were, telling herself to be content with being by Kotori's side at all. Instead, she let the memory of Kotori's laugh swirl warmly throughout her body, reveling in the sweet sound for as long possible.
"Umi-chan."
The archer sat up slowly from her position on the bed and hummed in response, urging Kotori to continue. She was worried that she had been quiet for too long while lost in her thoughts and had missed something the ashen-haired woman had said.
But even over the phone, Umi could feel Kotori's hesitation. "Have you..." she trailed off. Umi could imagine Kotori fidgeting nervously, trying to convey her thoughts. "...have you had your heart broken?"
Umi's breath hitched and she sat in stunned silence.
'Why would she want to know that..?'
Kotori seemed to be waiting for her response. The silence was thick; it hung heavily in the air, making Umi tense.
She exhaled in an attempt to relax herself. Again, Umi didn't want to lie to the woman she loved.
"...yes, I have." She replied cautiously, not wanting to give Kotori any of the details while still telling the truth.
Kotori's only response was a slow and thoughtful hum.
The palms of Umi's hands were sweaty and her tongue felt dry.
'How can I change the subject nonchalantly..? Talk about the weather? The economy? Be cool, Sonoda.'
"S-so" she began, but was cut off by Kotori's soft voice.
"You know, I've been thinking a lot since last night. About this and that..." Kotori stated contemplatively, almost as if she were talking to herself.
Any further words died in Umi's throat, her mouth hanging open uselessly. The bluenette was at least grateful that the other woman couldn't see her dumbfounded expression.
Kotori continued without waiting for a reply.
"I was wondering what you were thinking at the end of the night. Your sad smiles, forlorn eyes, and wandering attention made me curious."
Umi's nervousness from earlier couldn't compare to the knotting in her stomach and rapid heartbeat filling her ears now. She vaguely wondered how it was possible for one person to sweat this much. Umi usually loved the mysterious side of Kotori, but now she wanted nothing more to go back to the light-hearted conversations they were having.
"You looked just like how I felt after Honoka-chan told us about Tsubasa-san."
Umi's heart plummeted into her stomach. Kotori was much, much more observant than she let on.
Kotori paused, drawing it out as if she was unsure of how to continue.
"You looked heartbroken..." Kotori's voice was barely above a whisper when she finally spoke again.
It was as if Umi's lips had forgotten how to even form words.
All she could do was tightly clutch her phone and wait for Kotori to continue.
"I'm sorry." Kotori stated sincerely, her voice full of emotion.
The bluenette's heart skipped a beat before beginning to throb painfully in her chest. She didn't know what her friend was apologizing for but it made her feel awful.
"Kotori... Why are you saying that you're sorry?" She finally croaked, her throat feeling raw.
'Does this mean she knows now..?'
"..." A sad sigh reached Umi's ear, doing nothing but make her more anxious. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying her best to stay calm. "I was so caught up in my own feelings for Honoka-chan that I never noticed that you were dealing with things too... I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you."
Umi was relieved, so relieved, and yet a little disappointed.
"...there really is nothing for you to be sorry about." Umi stated, finally reopening her eyes. "I didn't want to worry you. Things didn't work out anyway, so there isn't anything to be concerned about... Such is life."
Kotori sighed.
"Umi-chan, you sound like an old man when you talk like that" Kotori teased lightly, unable to shake off the melancholy tone.
Umi only gave a weak chuckle in response.
The conversation lulled, but instead of the silence being tense, it held an unbearable sadness. Umi didn't know which was worse.
"We're best friends... I should have paid more attention. For that, I'm sorry, Umi-chan."
"Really, Kotori, there isn't anything for you to apologize for" Umi implored. The thought of Kotori feeling guilty because of her made the blue-haired woman nauseous. "You didn't do anything wrong. I never told you about it in the first place... If anything it's my fault."
Kotori let out another deep sigh. Every second that Kotori remained quiet felt like an eternity.
'Please say something...'
"Are you busy tonight?" Kotori suddenly asked. Umi was confused, but thankful for the silence being broken.
Umi let out an inaudible sigh and slumped onto the bed. "No, I was just planning to relax since I don't have practice tomorrow. What's up?" She responded, trying to sound as normal as possible.
"...would you like to come over?" The ashen-haired woman asked. "I was thinking... we can have a sort of broken-hearted party together, just the two of us" she chuckled quietly, sadly. Umi preferred Kotori's cheerful and teasing laughs.
"Besides, you and I didn't get the chance to catch up last night. Because of... you know..."
'Because of Honoka.'
Umi immediately felt guilty about her resentful thoughts.
Kotori's words were coming out in a nervous rush now because of Umi's lack of responses. "You can even sleep over since you don't have practice tomorrow. I don't have any pressing matters tomorrow either. It'll be just like old times."
'Just like old times... But I don't want things to be like old times.'
"...sure," Umi just smiled bitterly to herself. "See you in an hour?"
She would be lying if she said that she didn't want to spend time with Kotori- especially if it would be just the two of them. But she couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling from their earlier conversation.
"Okay! Shall I make dinner?" Kotori asked, sounding a little more like her usual, cheerful self.
Umi smiled gently at that despite her wariness of the situation.
'As long as Kotori is feeling better.'
"That would be great. I'll see you soon, Kotori."