"Life's too short to not to tell someone you love them when you do; and you do."
Paula's words echoed through Tony's mind again and again during the drive to Ziva's place. He struggled to see the road through the tears that clouded his vision and finally pulled into the guest parking spot beside her Mini. Tony was exhausted, emotionally depleted, and right now all he wanted was a hug from his best friend. As if she'd known he was coming, Ziva opened the door before Tony knocked and gestured for him to come in. She looked at him for a brief moment, assessing his emotional state, then drew him into her arms. Tony sagged against her, his body shuddering with the effort of keeping the sobs inside.
Ziva crooned soft, melodic words in her native tongue, her fingers sliding gently through his hair. After a long time she led him to the couch, hoping a movie and some cuddling might do for him what words could not. But Tony stopped her. "That could've been us."
She shook her head and placed her hand on his face. "No Tony, do not think like that."
He pulled away and started pacing back and forth in front of her coffee table. "You don't understand. I've almost lost you twice this year - once to bombs and once to the crazy ex-partner who set you up." Tony's eyes were bright when he faced her again. "I lost a friend today Ziva, a good friend. I'm so tired of losing people I care about. You're the most important person in my life Ziva." He sighed. "There's something I have to tell you."
Her brow furrowed in concentration but she stayed silent to let him speak. "The woman I've been seeing is an assignment from Director Shepard. It's...hard to play that role for so long. I put on a very convincing act and I've tried to push you away so it didn't hurt as much. But you're still there all the time being my partner, worrying about me, caring, and I suddenly realized that the feelings I pretend to have for this doctor are real feelings I have for you." Tony took in Ziva's shocked expression and rubbed his face. "Oh, I'm making a mess of this."
Working very hard to control her words so they did not tremble, Ziva crossed her arms. "Tony, what are you trying to tell me?"
He swallowed and returned to stand in front of her. His hands cupped her face and Ziva stared at him as Tony licked his lips. "I'm trying to tell you that I love you Ziva David. You've been my partner for almost two years, my best friend since last summer. You know me, and somehow you got into my heart. You don't have to say anything Ziva, I just want you to know that I love you."
Her lips parted slightly and Tony took that opportunity to lean down and kiss her. What was meant as a simple emphasis to his declaration soon became a way for Ziva to express what she did not know how to say. The second kiss found her leading it and using the contact as a way to comfort her partner, giving what she could of herself because they'd long had a connection that did not need words.
Finally they parted and Tony stared down into her eyes, then pressed his lips to her forehead while Ziva held on tight. They did eventually sit down, Ziva close to his side with her legs draped over his lap, her fingers tracing random patterns on his shirt. That Tony didn't ask for a similar statement from her spoke volumes about his new maturity. Ziva didn't think there was another time in her life when a man said 'I love you' and there were no strings attached, it was a moment she wanted to savour. And for Tony, having Ziva in his arms was everything he needed to keep the darkness away.