READ THIS. OR YOU'LL BE CONFUSED.

I hate long authors notes but people are a tad confused, so here you go:

This story is in medias res and is non-linear. Meaning, the story begins "in the middle of things", and the story telling does not take place in chronological order. Why? Because that's my favorite type of storytelling. I love being dropped into the middle of a story where things are already happening, and having to learn things through flashbacks. It is much funner to write, but requires more effort on the part of the reader to understand. Sora and Riku are about to do some serious reminiscing about the past four months that's they've been back on the island. They'll either be lengthy, near chapter-long flashbacks or quick spinets of memory conveyed to you through narration. I'm not going to scream "FLASHBACK!" at you, but may be some small indication like a break as to when a flashback is starting and ending. I have faith in you, as a reader, to be able to pick up on what is a flashback and what is the present. It should be fairly obvious, anyway. Thanks for reading and enjoy.

ALSO, the story is told from several different characters' prospective. Why? More information, more points of view, more entertainment.

Shell Shock, Chapter 2

"Keyblades & Confessions"

(Hey, did you read that super long authors note? No? Go back up at read it!)

"So why are we here? I don't-what the hell?"

Riku, now clutching his Way to Dawn keyblade, had just took a swing at an unsuspecting Sora.

"C'mon, fight me."

"What the hell are you doing Riku?"

"What feels right. Now, summon your goddamn keyblade!"

Sora did as he was told. Subconsciously he summoned Ultima. When he saw the bright, ornate keyblade in his hand, a shiver ran up his spine and he wasn't sure why.

"Y'feel it?" Riku asked, suddenly much more calm. He gave Sora a meaningful look before lunging at him with a raised keyblade. Sora blocked and recoiled back several feet. Riku was coming in for another attack, and Sora's body executed a counterattack without first consulting his mind if it was okay to attack a friend or not. Riku staggered backwards with the force of the counterattack. His free hand dropped to the knee of his lame leg for a moment, massaging it briefly before he looked back up at Sora with a grin so big it rivaled that of the Cheshire Cat's.

And suddenly it hit Sora. Riku's brief words replayed in his head; "Y'feel it?" Yes, Sora did feel it.

He felt like himself.

The adrenaline surged through his veins as he tightened his grip on Ultima. God, this felt good. This felt right. This...this feeling of the raw need to survive. It was something he used to feel constantly when all that was important in life was beating the bad guy and surviving. Nothing else right now mattered; missing school, what people thought of him, the void in his heart left by Donald and Goofy's departure, making his mother cry...it was all irrelevant. This moment was about survival, and it was all he could think about. He knew it was irresponsible to want to forget everything else, but this was his only means of escape. This adrenaline was like a drug that he hadn't had a hit of in months. He craved it, needed it. He laughed to himself when the phrase "adrenaline junkie" crossed his mind. He supposed he was one, though not in the stereotypical extreme sports way. He didn't care, though. This felt...amazing, free, right, normal.

He lunged at Riku.

Their battle was, in Sora's opinion, beautiful. To any onlooker, it may have looked like all hell bad broken loose and the play island had been consumed by a torrent of chaos and wild elements. Bolts of lightening shot down from the heavens, plumes of flame shot into the sky, small glaciers appeared on an island that had never once seen ice before. The two keyblade masters threw Thundagas, Firagas and Blizzagas at each other until their magic reserves were completely depleted. Neither boy had ethers on their person, nor did they have their packs of potions. They had both put their equipment away (save for their keyblades, since those were summoned items) once they had returned home. What was the point of keeping it on them? There was nobody to fight anymore.

But neither combatant minded as the fight became nothing but swordsmanship. The pure physicality of the fight made it all the more invigorating. When Riku's blade would make contact with Sora, he felt the pain and it didn't go away. Donald and Goofy weren't around to heal him, and his potion bags that he kept fastened to his thighs for years were absent, stuffed in his closet under a mountain of dirty clothes. It made the situation feel more dire, and the survival instinct kicked up a notch as well as the adrenaline. Despite being physically wounded, this was the best Sora had felt since he returned home.

And while Sora's mind was registering his own injuries, he was scoping out Riku's as well. He was amazed at how he moved so fluidly after having been out of practice for so long. But...what about his leg? How was he moving so well? Wasn't he in pain? The thought made Sora recoil several yards to momentarily stop the fight.

"Riku, your leg-"

"-hurts like a bitch, but I'm having fun so don't stop."

"Potions will heal whatever I do to you with the keyblade, but your leg is gona hurt even after you drink one. We should stop."

At this, Riku actually looked...angry. He charged at Sora with a snarl on his lips. After a few blows were exchanged with Riku on a vicious offensive and Sora on a reluctant defensive, the Champion of the Darkness paused.

"Don't fucking treat me like a gimp, Sora! Unlike you, I fought alone most of the time. I didn't have a friend to cast Cure on me or throw me a potion. I can fight just fine like this!"

He wasn't lying. It was as if Riku didn't have a handicap. No, he did not have one, he was not handicapped. He refused to be seen as such, so Sora refused to use that word when thinking of his best friend. Sora was amazed at how easily he could just ignore the pain and fight on it as if it weren't damaged at all. They continued to fight, neither wanting to end the euphoria they had both found after months of the torturous calm that was the Destiny Islands. But since both lacked potions and Cure magic, they eventually had to succumb to their fatigue and injuries. The two collapsed after an unvocalized, mutual agreement to end the battle.

The sudden armistice had left them on the beach just where water met sand, and they wilted to the ground to lay in the sand. Both teens had been wearing flip flops, but those had quickly been lost at the beginning of the fight. The waves lapped at their bare feet, and Sora stared up at the sky. It was quickly turning red, and he was sure that if he tilted his head down just so, he would see the sun dipping into the ocean. But he was too tired, too sore to move his head, so Sora continued to gaze lazily up at his crimson namesake.

It reminded him of Twilight Town, aptly named for the sky that looked oh-so similar to this one Sora was looking at now. The sunsets of his other seaside home were famous. They seemed to magically drag out longer than anywhere else in the world, drawing in tourists from all walks of life. He remembered the twinge of smug satisfaction whenever he saw a lost tourist. "Tourons" the locals called them; tourist morons. The tourons would get lost in the labyrinth that was Twilight Town's pedestrian walkways that wound up and down the hillside, and Roxas and his friends would get a kick out of seeing the same family of out-of-towners pass by the Usual Spot several times with an unfolded "Twilight Town Tourism Information" pamphlet.

Eventually, the foursome would take pity on the poor lost tourons and direct them to the best sunset viewing areas, show them on the map how to get down to the beach, or explain the trolly system and routes. Virtually everyone who actually lived in Twilight Town was in some way, shape, or form involved in the town's tourism industry. Roxas' dad owned a beach equipment rental shop where tourists would pay to use the shop's beach bikes, umbrellas, beach chairs, surf and boogie boards and all the other beach "necessities" that vacationers were too lazy to pack themselves. His mother worked at an ocean view restaurant that was listed in the aforementioned pamphlet as "Twilight Town's Most Romantic Dinner Experience".

Hayner, Pence, and Olettle's parents all catered to tourists as well, as did the majority of the parents of Roxas' classmates. Tourists were the lifeblood of the town, no matter how annoying and moronic they were. Roxas knew that once he was older, he too would join the town's tourism industry workforce. He may not have been receiving a paycheck for helping lost tourists right now, but there was an unwritten law in Twilight Town regarding tourists; if you keep them happy and show them a good time, they'll come back again next year with their wallets and maybe bring their friends and their wallets. Local kids were taught at an early age to be courteous to the out-of-towners, because it was due to their patronage that their parents were able to bring home the bacon.

The tourists that came to Twilight Town were wealthy, but Roxas never envied them. They came from cold, dirty, ugly places. Sure, Twilight Town was fairly urban, but it was built with a beautiful, cozy, coastal town architecture and the locals were great, friendly people. Roxas considered himself extremely lucky to have been born and raised in such a fantastic town.

And as this thought, this memory, floated through Sora's head, his brows furrowed and his jaw clenched. That had not been real. None of that was real. He had never grown up in Twilight Town. He never helped lost tourons understand the trolley system. He never hung out with his three laid back friends in the alley way they had claimed as their own. It was nothing but a distorted, rehashed version of his childhood on the Destiny Islands. It was here, on these islands, that he grew up and had the importance of hospitality drilled into his head by his mother and the townspeople. It was here that he, Riku, Kairi, or whoever else he was hanging out with like Tidus or Wakka, laughed at lost tourists before eventually helping them find their way to the correct island. After all, the Destiny Islands were really a collection of small, clustered together islands connected by bridges, and finding the right bridge to the right place was fairly challenging for anyone not a local. And it was here that his mother worked as one of the managers at the local hotspot, romantic eatery.

The dad owning a rental shop must have been Namine's own creation. Sora had grown up without a father. Even still, after 18 years of having no paternal figure in his life (well, this life), Sora still wasn't sure how he felt about it. Apparently, his father had been a good man. At least, that's what all the other islanders said whenever the subject came up. They described him as a hardworking, optimistic man who was constantly teased for loving the ocean almost more than his wife and son. And maybe he did, since it was the ocean he was with when he died rather than his family.

He would take vacationers on boat tours out to the reef, and after his day's work was over he would take a boat and go back out and enjoy simply floating in the ocean alone in his boat without the noisy tourons. It was during one of these relaxing after-work voyages that a vicious storm developed so quickly, nobody on the island had seen it coming—including Sora's father. His body washed up on shore a few days later, and a 4 year old Sora and his mother burred him on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. When Sora's mother told her son about the funeral when he was old enough to be curious about his missing dad, she laughed bitterly as she said that "you would think after it killed him, the weather would at least have the decency to be gloomy to match the occasion."

Despite his mother's morose joke, Sora sort of liked the idea of his dad being burred on a sunny day. From what people told him, his father was a happy guy with a good sense of humor. Not only that, but he, like Sora, had been born and raised an islander. Good weather and a bright sky seemed to be a fitting tribute to a dead, ocean loving islander who had lived a good, albeit short, life. And although Sora didn't plan on dying like his father or as soon, he secretly hoped that he too would be laid to rest on a day when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing the palms, and the gulls are calling...just like any other day.

Sora's feelings of his virtual father were mixed. Half of him wished Namine wouldn't have created him and that Roxas, too, would have been dad-less. And yet, the other half was glad to have finally known what it was like to grow up with a dad. He just had to ignore the fact that it hadn't been real. It had felt real, though. His dad coming home from work, joking with his mother about tourons and asking Roxas how his day at school was. His dad buying him his first skateboard. His dad clapping him on the back for getting an A on his history test.

His dad, who never existed and yet still felt so very real. Sora decided to save that conundrum for another time. Although he now remembered the majority of both Roxas' real life and his virtual one, he wasn't quite ready to sort all of it out. He was stressed beyond reason just having to accept the fact that he was one person, and yet three.

Thoughts of his life as Roxas always brought Sora to thoughts of someone else entirely, someone he hardly knew.

Ansem the Wise. Or as Riku refereed to him, DiZ; "Darkness in Zero"

The man had been an enigma to Sora. Ansem had had such an impact on not only history and the fate of the universe, but on Sora's own life. Sora had only truly met the man moments before his death, and it had left him with an uncomfortable feeling to know so little about what he knew was such an important man. As the two worn out keyblade wielders continued to lay on the beach without a sound, Sora's mind drifted back to two months ago, when he had finally learned more about Ansem the Wise.

Sora and Riku had been sitting on the porch of Riku's parent's house attempting to do their homework. On the round patio table situated between the old wicker chairs they sat in, they had their textbooks and folders open. The pages of the thick texts lazily threatened to flip in the soft breeze, but neither boy did anything to hold their places in the books. They were both otherwise occupied. Riku was idly scratching his mother's old black and white cat under the chin, a soft smile gracing his face as he watched the cat's tail flick back and forth in content. Sora's feet were propped up on the porch railing, and he stared at his sandals blankly as he chewed on the end of his mechanical pencil. He had been gnawing away at the little clip on the eraser end for quite some time, and he finally heard it break off from the rest of the pencil with a sharp snap. Disgruntled, he spit the broken clip out of his mouth, over the railing, and into the small garden bordering the front of the porch.

"Attractive, Sora," Riku mused, glancing up from the cat only for a moment to give his friend a funny look.

"Mnn," was Sora's distracted response. He knew it was gross—and probably horrible for his teeth—but the young man simply couldn't stop chewing on his plastic writing utensil. If he put it down, he would only find something else equally annoying to do; drum his fingers on the table, bounce his leg rapidly, bite on his nails or find something else to fidget with. He had not been that restless when he was younger, had he?

"Riku, I'm confused," he said abruptly.

"That's a shocker," Riku responded without missing a beat.

"Har har, jerk," Sora grumbled. He had asked for that, hadn't he? Sora reminded himself that he needed to keep in mind that Riku would take advantage of any setup, not matter how small, for one of his trademark sarcastic remarks. Not that he really minded. Riku and sarcasm; they were synonyms.

"What are you confused about?" Riku said, his voice now devoid of humor. "If it's our math homework, don't even think about asking me, because I have no idea. We're going to have to call Kairi over to help us or something..."

"No, its not about school. Can I ask you something about DiZ?"

Riku stopped scratching the cat and leaned back in his seat. The woven wicker strands of the chair creaked as the older boy repositioned not to look at his friend, but out at the ocean. The cat, obviously unsatisfied with Riku's sudden disinterest, leaped up onto the boy's lap. Riku's hand found the creature's head, and he stroked it absentmindedly as he spoke.

"What about him?" His tone was somber, soft and weak.

"I wanted to know more about him. Like...what it was like working with him? You called him a mentor once at school. What all did he teach you? I know you learned stuff about computers, but what else? And I want to know why he did what he did to me...to Roxas."

Sora could literally feel the remorse emanating from Riku. For a nanosecond, Sora wondered why that might be. However, the answer came to him quickly, and he immediately regret asking about Ansem.

Ansem the Wise was dead, and Riku was grieving. There had not been much time for the sudden death of the man known as DiZ to sink in when it had happened. Directly following Ansem's demise, Riku and Sora were thrown into battle with Xemnas. And when the leader of the Nobodies had been defeated, the two boys began their eventful journey back to island life. Ansem's death had been pushed to the side so they could focus on all of the confusion that came along with having returned to the islands. It had now been two months since their homecoming, and Sora imagined that Riku had yet to have the proper time to grieve his dead mentor.

"DiZ was..." Riku started, seemingly unsure of how to describe the man. But then he gave a mirthful snort, and he smirked as he continued. "DiZ was something else, Sora. I am who I am today mostly because of him. We had some serious disagreements toward the end, but despite that I owe him a lot."

This statement made Sora's eyebrows furrow. He had not know Ansem had had that big of an influence on Riku...that he had been that important to him. The keyblade wielder could sense that a long explanation was about to ensue, so Sora shifted in his chair to become slightly more comfortable in the hard, woven seat.

"When I met him in Castle Oblivion, I was so lost, Sora. I didn't know what to do. I was afraid of the Darkness but I needed it's strength. DiZ helped me understand the Darkness, helped me conquer it and use it for good. Because of him, I was able to understand that sometimes you've got to do underhanded things in order to get things done, and that isn't always a bad thing. Because of the Darkness, I was stronger, and I was able to help and protect you. If it wasn't for my Darkness, I'd have never defeated Roxas, and you'd still be asleep in that pod."

"And it didn't end there. After Castle Oblivion, I knew I wanted to be in the Dark but play for the Light team, you know? But I didn't know how to do that. Yeah, so I had resolved my inner turmoil with the Dark, but what good did that do me with no goal? Well, I did have a goal; help you. But I didn't know how to go about achieving that goal. I realized that I didn't have all the answers. I was what, 16 years old, 16 and a half maybe? When we were kids, we used to think adults were clueless. But I realized then that I was the one who didn't know anything. DiZ was 'Ansem the Wise.' He had been able to escape the Realm of Nothingness by using the Darkness, and he wasn't a complete monster because of it. He knew how to use the Dark for good, and I wanted to learn how, too."

"He wanted to restore your memories so you could wake up and defeat Xemnas. DiZ needed you to fix his mistakes, because he couldn't anymore. DiZ may have control over Darkness, but hes a scientist, not a fighter. He needed a young, strong keyblade wielder to go track down Roxas, and the the only other option besides me was Kairi. But I was not going to let her be thrown back into danger when she was finally safe at home."

"So DiZ and I made a deal. He let me live with him in the mansion, he helped me control my Darkness, he provided me with necessities like food, he taught me about computers, just generally took care of me...and in return, I caught Roxas for him and did whatever else he needed to be done so that you could come back and finish what he started. I definitely think I got more out of it than he did, honestly. I got to stick close by you, help bring you back, help protect you..."

"You even protected Roxas, right?" Sora chimed in quietly. The statement seemed to take Riku aback. But you could hear the smile in Riku's voice as he continued.

"Yeah, well, I just had to keep reminding myself that Roxas was really just a part of you. One half of the whole. Even if he was a Nobody, he was your Nobody, and so I did what I would have done for you...because it was you. Just...a different body and a totally different attitude."

"I just don't understand why he had to create that whole virtual Twilight Town and have Namine make me a whole new set of memories," Sora growled. "I mean, that was cruel. Roxas' life there was a lie, and that...that really must have hurt when he—I found out. Especially when he saw the real Hayner, Pence and Olette. They had no idea who I was. That was...that was the worst feeling. I realized something was wrong since I was crying and I didn't know why I felt so bad, but Roxas must have been devastated. Why did DiZ have to do that to him, to me?"

"He didn't mean to, trust me," Riku said. Sora internally scoffed. Of course Riku would come to DiZ's defense. Whatever he had to say had better be good, Sora thought venomously, if Riku was taking DiZ's side over his.

"Well, DiZ primarily put you in the digital Twilight Town to hide you from the Organization, but he could have just encrypted you as data and had you sit on a hard drive, unconscious. But DiZ's theory that was that it was better for overall health to keep the brain entertained than have it just sit there. I mean, he was a professor of the Heart, not the brain, so he might have been wrong but it seemed like a good idea to make it so your brain wasn't just sitting there unoccupied. You don't remember this, but he created a virtual Destiny Islands for you to 'live' in while you slept in the pod, too. When we realized that Namine couldn't finish putting your memories back together until we had Roxas, DiZ put you in a digital Destiny Islands until we could find your Nobody."

"How come I don't remember that?" Sora said, bemused.

"DiZ wiped it when we got Roxas and started the Restoration Program; Naminé & the computer working together to fix your memories. After he wiped it, you just sort of slept without dreaming. A coma, basically, but only for a few days. He was going to wipe Roxas' memories of his life in Twilight Town, too, but Naminé started tampering with the system and things got a little crazy. DiZ never had the chance to wipe Roxas' memories, and a part of me thinks he assumed they would disappear anyway since Roxas was 'just a Nobody'. He didn't think too highly of them, you know... And well, DiZ is gone, and I never learned how to operate the wipe program..." Riku trailed off. "Plus, the virtal Destiny Islands was an entirely different type of program, since you were still in the physical world and Roxas was encoded into pure data. The islands you thought you were in while you were in the pod were just virtual, while Twilight Town was completely digital—"

"Okay, stop," Sora cut Riku off. "I don't even understand half of what you're saying. You like, speak another language when you talk about computers, man. What the hell is a 'hard drive'?"

"...Never mind. Just trust me, it makes sense, and it was all necessary. DiZ didn't mean to leave you with the memories of your virtual life. You heard what he said before he died. 'Roxas, I doubt you can hear me, but...I am sorry.' I knew DiZ, and trust me when I say that he really meant that. He never says things he doesn't mean."

And with that, Sora let some of his animosity toward Ansem dissipate. He knew a part of him would always resent the scientist for manipulating him so much...for using him. But Riku had helped him understand why he had done it, and Sora had to admit that it made sense. It was for the greater good, right? So what if it had left Sora angry and confused; the universe was now safe. Sora's angst, he supposed, was a very small price to pay.

"But why a digital Twilight Town? If he made a digital Destiny Islands, how come he didn't just stick Roxas in there, too? Why bother creating a whole other digital world? That would have been a lot of work, right?"

Riku had explained to Sora how DiZ had taken all of the memories from the sleeping Sora in the pod, and had Namine twist them to create a new childhood for him as Roxas in Twilight Town. That coastal tourist destination was so similar to the Destiny Islands that it would be much easier for Namine to just tweak his existing memories, rather than creating a whole new scenario to implant into Roxas' consciousness. Riku frowned while he explained DiZ's reasoning for creating a digital Twilight Town and tweaking all of the memories to fit with that world, rather than using the digital Destiny Islands for Roxas like Sora asked.

The old man didn't want Roxas to realize prematurely that he was, in fact, half of Sora. Putting him in a virtual Destiny Islands could have triggered a abrupt end to Roxas' apparent amnesia. That possibility was a far stretch, considering half of Sora's memories still resided within the boy sleeping in the pod. It was highly unlikely that Roxas would regain those memories without the aid of the Namine and computer's Restoration Program. But DiZ was not a risk taker. No matter how slim the chance, the professor of Hearts certainly did not want Roxas to suddenly regain Sora's memories all at once before it was time. If that were to happen, DiZ feared Roxas would have been too scared to loose himself by merging with Sora.

Sora had not told Riku yet, but he was beginning to remember snippets of Roxas' life—well, his life, just the one he lived as his Nobody. One of the first memories of Roxas' that came to Sora while he slept was the memory of Roxas merging with Sora. Now that Sora could remember having been Roxas, he understood why DiZ handled Roxas the way he did and knew that he had been right. As Roxas, he had been absolutely terrified to rejoin with the rest of his self, despite the fact that he had left the Organization to meet his Other. The boy in the pod had been there first. Sora was the Somebody, so did that mean he would cease to exist once they merged? Would the Somebody erase all traces of the Nobody? He decided to trust Sora—trust himself—and merge. What else could he do?

"So...so what was living with him like?" Sora asked, deciding to take the conversation in a new direction. "You really lived in that old mansion?"

"Haha, yeah, I did," Riku laughed, visibly brightening with the topic change. "It was kind of weird, you know? I go from living at Maleficent's enormous castle in a kingdom to an old, rundown mansion on the outskirts of quaint little Twilight Town. But I mean, I didn't really live at Maleficent's...It was more like a place to sleep when I wasn't, y'know, out wreaking havoc or tormenting you. The mansion, though, that was home. Since I could use Corridors to Darkness, it was really easy to just go back there to sleep or eat, get orders from DiZ, take a break and recuperate, whatever. Sometimes I would go into town to get food for me and DiZ or just to relax... I mean, I even had stuff in my room at the mansion. People are always saying 'home is where the heart is', but my heart was with you, and you were asleep...so I started to just think that 'home is where all of your crap is'."

"You had stuff?" Sora questioned, his voice hinting at hurt jealousy. Sora had not really had personal possessions since he started his 5 year long adventure. He, Donald and Goofy only kept what was necessary or useful in their quest. Sure, during their travels Sora had amassed a small collection of random trinkets, but they were normally rather inconsequential things, like gifts from people they met or little souvenirs from exotic words. He kept them safely stowed away in a small compartment underneath his bunk in the Gummi Ship's cabin.

Going by Riku's crude definition of a 'home', Sora supposed the Gummi Ship had been he and his Disney companions' home. When they arrived on a world, they would park the Gummi Ship in a discrete location so that the locals would not find it. Because of this, the ship was normally a great distance from wherever the trio was actually exploring. If they wasted time going back to the ship to eat and sleep, they would never get anything accomplished in a world. So the boy, duck, and dog typically found other sleeping arrangements. Sometimes they were lucky; they would be exploring an urban area with hotels and inns to sleep at, or they would meet a friendly local who would offer them a bed for the night. Other times, they were not so fortunate. In places like Deep Jungle or the Pride Lands, which had little or no man-made shelter, the trio would simply have to set up camp wherever they could. 'Camp' normally consisted of a small fire, either sparse provisions or foraged food, and three thin blankets to curl up on. Donald had magically expanded the amount of space in all of their pockets, much like Merlin's small bag in which he packed his entire home's contents. But no matter how good at fighting magic Donald was, he was nowhere near as skilled at practical magic like Merlin. The trio's pockets could only hold so much, and that space was more often than not taken up by ethers, potions, and other necessary equipment.

Sora had been an outdoorsy kind of kid, but he was not prepared for this new type of minimalistic lifestyle. Deep Jungle was one of the first worlds they had visited, and they were there for several weeks. Those few weeks had been completely miserable for Sora. He had gone from running around his tame island home to endlessly trekking through some of the harshest jungle in the universe. He had not been ready for this, but his friends had helped him get through it. Despite the fact that Donald and Goofy were so humanoid, they were still fundamentally animals. They were not easily phased by the wilderness, and Sora quickly learned to keep up with them. They did not often complain about having to sleep outside. In fact, Sora had the suspicion that Goofy actually preferred the outdoors to their bunks in the Gummi Ship.

Living with them had toughened Sora up considerably, and he supposed now that he was rather thankful for it. He knew how to survive off of almost nothing, he now viewed comfort as a luxury rather than a necessity, and he could navigate through worlds like a pro. He was not a whiner, and most of all, he was ridiculously optimistic. Sora had always been a naturally positive person, but being tossed into this hectic and uncertain lifestyle had taught the young boy how to amplify that positivity and use it to keep on moving forward. He did not let things keep him down because he was constantly looking on the bright side. This had been key in his survival, and quit honestly, helped him stay sane.

But right now, Sora was not feeling so optimistic. He knew it was stupid, but he was jealous of Riku. His older friend had a stable, non-mobile place to return to and call home. And what did 'stuff' mean? Did he have more than a few days worth of clothes? Did he have things like a few posters on the wall? Did he have a collection of movies and books to keep him entertained? Maybe even video games? No, surely Riku had not been playing video games while Sora was out killing Heartless and Nobodies until he was so sore he could hardly walk. No, that would be absurd...right?

As if he could read Riku's mind, Sora's friend spoke to debunk his theories.

"I mean, don't be too jealous, Sora. Yeah, I did have a lot of free time, but that was pretty much only during that year you were asleep. Most of the time I was doing stuff for DiZ or learning about computers from him which really wasn't all that fun. I respect DiZ, but he was a hard-ass who had a hard time understanding that not everyone was as smart as him, especially a teenager who had already missed out on 2 years of school. He was a really strict mentor."

"But..but I'm not going to lie to you, Sora. I definitely had it a lot easier than you. I really feel guilty about it...it wasn't fair to you."

Sora wanted to respond. He wanted to grin his signature grin and tell Riku it was alright. He wanted to laugh and let Riku know he did not mind, that he understood and accepted that sometimes like just was not fair. Sora wanted to be able to tell Riku to not feel guilty about it.

But Sora couldn't. The words would not formulate in his mouth, and he knew why. He could not articulate those sentiments because they simply were not true. It was not alright, and he did mind. As much as he knew he should, as rational as it should have been, Sora just could not accept this unfairness. Riku did not need to feel guilty, but some small, dark part of Sora was glad his friend felt that way. The past five years were ones he should have spent being a normal teenager. He should have been hanging out, going to school, eating his mother's cooking. Instead, he was fighting for his life and eating whatever he, Donald and Goofy were able to scrounge up. Those were years he would never get back, and as wrong as he knew it was, Sora was glad somebody else besides himself felt bad about it.

After a lengthy stretch of heavy silence, Riku stood up from his chair. The cat in his lap was forced back onto the floor of the porch, and it meowed angrily at Riku as he limped away and into the house. He came back moments later with a bowl of popcorn, which he placed right next to the textbooks on the table. Neither boy spoke as they returned to their schoolwork and ate the crunchy white snack-food.

Riku had not apologized that day, because it would have been pointless, and Sora did not tell him was okay, because it was not. The feelings had been left unresolved that day. They still were, and they probably always would be. Sora did not hate Riku for it, though. Far from it. He loved Riku, and hurt feelings were not going to change that.

Laying there on the beach and reminiscing about this unsettled resentment issue, Sora recognized the fact that there were many bitter feelings he could not bring himself to let go of. The past few years had taken so much from him, and he had gotten little in return. While he had the satisfaction of knowing the universe was safe thanks to his struggle and sacrifice, that knowledge did little to pacify his now embittered soul.

Please review; let me know if this story is worth continuing or not!