Chapter 3: Squirrels

A/N: Love those reviews! Hope everyone's Holiday break was awesome, I saw my dad and it was great. We gamed as per usual! Anyway, enjoy the (extra long) chapter!

He'd barely been in camp for the last three days. Since Sophia's funeral, Daryl had woken up with the sun and gone off hunting till dusk. Carol didn't like it, but she didn't say anything about it; in fact, since the funeral, Carol hadn't said much of anything at all. Daryl hated it, hated sitting in silence with her and knowing that she just didn't care about anything anymore. He wasn't stupid, despite what the camp thought. Carol had lost everything now, and Daryl knew that it wouldn't be long before she joined Sophia.

He couldn't lose her too, but he knew he wasn't enough to save her. So he was distancing himself, debating whether or not he could leave the camp. Leave everyone in the dust and head out on his bike and survive alone. He didn't want to stay for Carol's funeral, he wanted to be long gone, pretending that she was still out there, still sending soft smiles at her friends, and ruffling Carl's hair.

The thud of a squirrel against a tree brought him back to reality. It was his sixth today, and he was only half done the day. He'd need to go back to camp to unload anyway. He yanked the arrow out of the squirrel's body, reloading his cross bow. The squirrel joined the others hanging from his belt, by a piece of familiar twine, and Daryl nearly smiled at the memory of his damned necklace of walker ears. Rick had been so disgusted, and Daryl wanted to knock out his damn teeth for it. He had no idea what Daryl had done to get back to them.

If he hadn't come across that doll? Damn, he woulda just kept walking for days, tracking Sophia and- he cut the thought off right then and there. That wasn't the way it happened, and Sophia was dead, and there was no good thinking on it.

A patch of white flowers stopped him in his tracks, and Daryl seethed down at the Cherokee Roses. He wanted to stomp all over them, rip them out of the ground, burn the whole patch of land up; he didn't touch them, just walked around and kept storming back towards the farm.

"It's a fucking flower, you pussy." He muttered, words Merle would have said to him coming out of his own mouth. Goddamn, he wished his brother were here now, Merle had a bad temper. He wouldn't have held himself back and Shane would have a black eye and no teeth if Merle were here. Carol probably would have had her daughter back too; Merle wasn't the type to go looking for her, but he was the best tracker Daryl had ever seen. He probably would have found her the first day, dragged her back, dumped her in front of her mom, and gone to get high.

Although, Daryl wasn't giving him total credit. Merle might have been an asshole, but he wouldn't leave a kid out to die. He had even gotten angry at their good-for-nothing father when he found out Daryl had been lost in the woods. Merle had been in juvie, so he couldn't look for Daryl himself, but when he had gotten home his dad had gotten a beating to rival the ones he gave his sons. Last time the sonofabitch had touched Merle in anger. Merle was bigger than their dad, and he never let him forget it.

"Fuck." Daryl hissed in anger, seething at the memory. How in the hell had he managed to survive, and poor Sophia -who had an entire camp searching for her, who had a mother who loved her- died?

He reached the farmland and started marching towards the camp, watching the top of the RV for blond hair. There was no way in hell Andrea was going to shoot him again, or he'd stick an arrow in her ass. He saw the telltale hat in the distance, Glenn sitting up on top.

Daryl tossed the squirrels on the table, making Lori jump. "I'll clean 'em, just let me wash."

Lori nodded, "Thanks." She looked like she was peeling some kind of vegetable. Daryl's stomach growled. Lori didn't say anything at the noise, and for a second Daryl wished Carol was sitting at the table instead of Lori. She would have insisted he ate, and tried to take care of him.

The thought made him feel guilty, and he went off in search of her to check on her. Usually she was in the RV or sitting beside Sophia's grave, where Daryl spent anytime he wasn't hunting as well. This time, she was nowhere to be found.

Daryl rushed back to the RV, heart pounding faster than it would have been if he'd been fighting off walkers. He left her alone for half a day, and they fucking lost her? Daryl was going to strangle someone for this.

"Glenn!" He barked, watching the asian man leap to his feet in a panic.

"Yes, Daryl?" He responded, fear flickering in his eyes. Daryl didn't mean to frighten him, but apparently being related to Merle, who lived for the fear of others, was enough to make Glenn scared.

"Where the fuck's Carol?" He snarled.

Glenn cocked his head. "Didn't anyone tell you? She tends the horses now, around the afternoon. Has been for a few days."

Daryl stormed away without answering, embarrassed at how panicked he had become. He marched straight to the stables, and before he got to the door, ready to throw it open and start yelling, he heard singing. It was Carol, and it was very quiet, but she was singing to the horses.

She had a good voice, and the song was so sad and broken, Daryl swallowed hard at the lump in his throat. He was a Dixon, goddammit, and they didn't cry. His anger dissipated, and he knocked gently on the stable door. Her singing cut off instantly, and he regretted he'd knocked. He should have sat here and just listened to her for as long as he could.

"Carol?" He called at the door. She appeared from a stall, taking off thick gloves. A horse nickered at her and nudged her forward with her big nose.

"Hey, Daryl." She said softly, "How was hunting?"

He shrugged, "Got lots of squirrels. Din't know you were takin' care of the horses."

She nodded, and patted the horse behind her. "Yeah, I like horses. You can talk and talk, and they always listen. Good friends."

He walked towards her, cautious of his steps. "You don't have to take care of them, if you don't want to though. I mean, you could just visit."

She turned to him, and he saw that her eyes were a little red. "I like to take care of them. I like taking care of people. And speaking of, you must be starving."

Daryl almost smiled at her words, catching himself before he did. He had known that she would say that. She was a nurturer, through and through, and Daryl had never once in his life been taken care of.

"Carol, what did you, er, do? Before all this?" He asked, unsure where his sudden curiousity had come from.

She frowned, "You mean, before I was Ed's wife? Cause that's all I ever was, with Ed. I wasn't allowed to be nothing else. But before I met Ed? I was a teacher."

He scowled, "He made ya quit? Did you like it?"

"I loved it!" She said, and she sounded so happy in that moment. "And yeah, Ed made me quit. I should have seen it then, that he was a miserable bastard. But I didn't, and like all stupid, stupid girls in love, I thought he was the one for me. Then I married him."

"Bet you regret that now." Daryl muttered.

"No." Carol said, surprising them both.

Daryl frowned, "You just said he was awful."

Carol smiled, "He was, but he gave me Sophia. I don't regret that, I don't regret her, not ever. Not even now, when I wish I was the one who was dead instead of her."

Daryl stopped walking and stared at Carol, who turned back to him. "Carol, back in that church, you know, the one where you prayed?"

"Yes." She whispered.

Daryl shrugged, "Well, you said you wanted a chance to raise her right. Get to have everythin she was missin."

Carol's eyes filled with tears, and she nodded imperceptibly.

"Well, I mean, this might just be me talkin, but you were the best damn ma any girl coulda ask for. Why would you ever think you hadn't done right be her?" Daryl coughed, wondering if he had said too much.

Carol stepped forward and laid her hand on Daryl's arm. She looked to be on the verge of tears. "Thank you, Daryl. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

Daryl scoffed, "It's true."

"That makes it even nicer to hear." Carol told him gently. "Like when people tell you you're the best hunter of the group. We all know it's true, but it's nice to hear it, all the same."

"No one's ever told me that." Daryl scowled, "Ain't nobody here who thinks very much of me."

Carol shook her head, "That's not true, Daryl. You pay attention, and you see how much they rely on you. And if you don't see that, then you see me, and I think you are the best man in this whole camp."

"Since I looked for her." Daryl muttered.

Carol squeezed his arm, making him look at her. "Since the day you handed me the axe and watched me smash Ed's face in. You didn't say a word, and you never once judged me for it. In fact, you looked like you wished I would hit him a few more times for good measure."

Daryl looked down, unsure what to say. He hadn't known that, known that Carol had thought he was a good man since that moment. "I, uhh, I kicked him a few times after you left."

Carol's hand left his arm, and she smiled at him. "Let's go get you some food."

He followed her, mostly because he didn't know what other option he might have. She didn't talk, just led him to the table Lori was at, where all the squirrels were. She went hunting around the boxes around the table and came back with a granola bar and an apple. She handed him the food, then went and grabbed a knife, ready to start cleaning squirrels.

"It's okay, Carol. I'll do that." Daryl told her through food.

She shook her head, "No, it's okay. Keeps my mind busy." She moved to a chair a bit away from the table, trying to keep all the gore away from the camp. He watched her for a while, seeing how easily she skinned them. He had taught her, a long time ago. When Merle was still here, before Rick appeared. She was good at it.

"You're watching her." Lori's voice was quiet, and when he glanced to her she was staring down at her vegetables.

He shrugged, "You're watchin' me."

She rolled her eyes as she looked at him, "Why the hell do you think? I'm waiting for the moment when you're next going to fly off the handle."

Daryl glared, and in the softest voice he could muster he said, "Lori, you ain't never see me fly off the handle. You think I was upset with what happen'd to Merle? That was nothin. You think I got a temper problem? Maybe you should look a little closer to home, with your crazy-ass fuck buddy."

She paled, and that only made the dark smudges under her eyes stand out. He felt bad for being so mean when he knew she was pregnant, but he didn't want her thinking he was the unstable one in camp. Everyone knew that was Shane.

"How did you know?" She whispered.

Daryl shrugged, "Saw you two one night. Ain't my business."

Lori glared at him, "Why the hell didn't you tell Rick? That seems like something you'd do."

Daryl scowled, "Didn't I just finish sayin you don't know fuck all about me? Plus, anyone could see Rick ain't stupid, he knew. And he obviously didn't care."

"How did he know? That's the one thing I can't figure out. As soon as I found out he was alive, it was over, so how the hell did he find out?"

Daryl didn't ever expect to be sitting here talking to Lori and explaining things to her. He sighed, "It's human instinct. You turned to him cause he was all you got. Rick's not stupid, and he knows that. It's what people do; you lose somethin' and you latch on to what you got left."

Lori sighed, sounding almost sad. "So why are you watching Carol?"

"Weren't you listenin'? She lost everythin', and she got nothin' to latch on to. What d'ya think happens to those people?"

Lori whipped her head again to stare at him. "You aren't suggesting that she'd-?"

Daryl didn't say anything, just got up and took his apple core over to where Carol was sitting. Lori was still sitting at the table, staring off into space.

"What was that about, I didn't think you got along with Lori?" Carol asked softly, finishing up the last squirrel.

"We don't." Daryl said shortly. "Come, let's go wash up." They weren't headed to Herscel's house, he didn't exactly want to see any of them. They marched over to where there was a hose and pump, and Daryl pumped it while Carol cleaned her hands and face, and even dunked her short hair under. Daryl followed suit as Carol pumped, feeling refreshed.

"I'd do just about anything for a hot shower right now." Carol said, wiping at her eyes. Her dress was dirty from hay and dirt, and Daryl decided he would throw it in with the few things he needed washing and try and do them up tonight. She would like that.

That's when Glenn's voice rang out, "Walkers! Get to the house! It's a herd!"