Life Comes At You Fast. And Then It Hits You. Hard. In The Balls.

-x-x-x-

Even if I could have described the feeling any better, could have Showed how it felt, painted masterpieces, or composed the most breath-taking musical pieces, talked for hours in the most charismatic way, acted it all out again and again, hand-written a mile-long epistle. . .

Nothing, and I seriously mean nothing would have done any sort of justice to the way I'd felt - the way my universe had been shaken - the moment Edward Cullen had met my gaze.

I'd gasped for breath as emotions flooded through me, my eyes wide, locked with his alarmed amber stare, barely able to discern the feelings smashing inconsiderately through my mind, let alone the ones that had been flashing across his eyes almost as fast.

And then I'd snapped my eyes away from his for a second - two - to rove up and down and all over his magnificent body, from the tips of his expensive looking leather shoes up those long long long legs across that steady firm chest down to the tips of his fingers to his shiny fingernails back up his defined arms lightly muscled lean and finally to the pale column of his throat and the urge to claim it to mark it was so strong so strong and his strange rusty hair fell in waves in loose wild curls and framed his face- his beautiful face, made angelic by the innocence of surprise. Those oddly pink lips against the white of his face, so so white, and his pointy nose and his cheekbones and his hairy eyebrows and oh his eyes. His eyes.

They made me throb. In a good way (a reeeaaally good way). I sucked in a shuddering breath, my body shaking like I. . . I- I and, holy shit, I was about to phase. Inside Bella's house. Bella.

Behind me I had been able to hear her faint shrieking, somewhere in the back of my mind, been subconsciously able to pick up a faint whiff of the fear rolling off her, trying desperately to crawl out of this frightening haze, this spell, this trance, my hand reaching out to grip the back of the couch in futile attempt to steady myself-

"Stop."

What the fuck does he think I'm trying to do? I'd spat silently, unable to speak, glaring venomously, anger joining the confusion that was my mental whirlpool. The room had spun sickeningly around me, and the nausea (butterflies) had given me enough leeway to stumble away from the leech and out to the backyard where I'd doubled over, one hand clutching my dancing stomach, the other shoving my longer-than-usual hair back and out of my face.

And then Bella had been beside me, lovely, beautiful Bella, and I'd tried my hardest to stare into her eyes and feel the same way I just had, the way I felt now, and goddamit, why wouldn't it work? And then my eyes had stung with more than just watery irritance.

Then he'd been there, behind us- I'd been able to feel his presence, pulling me, tugging me to turn around. Bella was pleading with me, with him, and I stood straight and turned around, and he was right there, barely a foot of green grass between us.

And then the motherfucker had met my eyes, reached out - fingers splayed, pausing, hesitating only once - and he'd touched me.

Biggest. Mistake. Of his life (or existence or whatever).

It took my breath away. His cold fingers, his touch. And I hated it.

And after I had inhaled as much oxygen as I possibly could (my lungs were having a hard time), I'd knocked his freezing hand off my extra-overheated shoulder and punched him in the face.

It'd hurt like fuck.

But it'd hurt him too. I had been able to see it on his face, the shock, the sheer surprise, the strange, terrified longing for more - that one quickly and carefully disappeared -, and worse, I could feel it! I could feel it. Every expression that I'd seen was just a delayed, dimmer version of each one I'd briefly felt.

It was like he was a part of the pack! Like I could see into his mind and he into mine! Like we shared some sort of freaky-ass bond! Like he was my soul mate (hell no.) and like I had-

Fuck. Oh fuck.

Like. . .

. . .like I had Imprinted.

-x-x-x-

I can easily remember the first time I'd seen Embry as more than just a pack brother.

Well, each one of them meant something more - or less, in Paul's case - to me than just an inconvenient bond. I knew that. But Embry was just different.

They all knew I was bisexual. It wasn't something I could hide, not with the bond, and in all honesty, I doubt I would have hidden it long, once I'd figured myself out. The pack was tight like that. They didn't exactly enjoy the subconscious recounts of highlights of certain. . . tussles of mine, but they were more than civil about it, and that was all I needed.

Then Bella had shown up. And I knew, whether I wanted to or not, that all of them would prefer my naughty sexcapades over my Bella drama - obsession - any day.

They wished I would get over her. All of them. So badly.

And Embry, who was half-white and half-Native-Indian, Embry with his weird wavy hair, and his lean body and his kind light brown eyes, Embry, who was different, smaller, who needed protection- Embry reminded me far too much of a girl. A certain girl.

Embry, holding this sway over me with his taunting hips and his easy smile, Embry who could be both boy and girl and androgynous and so wonderfully understanding and my best friend- it had to be him.

Once I had sorted myself out, had formulated a plan, while Embry was away on a visit to his Aunt Leina in the city for his birthday, I was ready to go. The pack was with me.

Because of course they had Heard what I was trying to hide, then been surprised and curious and excited, and we fed off each other, off this energy, and of course I'd let them help me with my plan, because they wanted it, and I wanted it, and we were a group, a team, a singular efficient unit.

And they were curious, as wolves were, as dogs were, and in the pack, things happened. We were a bunch of horny teenagers- raging, filled to the brim with growth and development hormones, changing every day into bigger, stronger, wolves, into beings with more fantastic, even more irresistible human bodies, and so what could you expect? We wanted it. We wanted sex. A lot.

And so it was only natural, we thought, that we interacted the way we did, with our touching and our eyes and our body language, the way our wolves did. Only natural to feel physical attraction persons who were spewing just as many goddamn pheromones as you were. Only natural when a "chaste" liplock with Jared lasted a little too long, went a bit too deep, left him feeling guilty for a few seconds about Kim. Only natural when we all stared at Leah's naked form as she stretched for us, her slanted eyes burning as she flaunted for her boys. Only natural when we all wanted Sam, unconsciously - inevitably - Sam with his power over us, our Alpha, our leader, with his slow, soft, dizzying kisses and his soothing thoughts. . .

And Embry.

So he finally came home, and after dropping his stuff by his mom, went straight to Sam-and-Emily's, as Sam had known he would - He'll be desperate to phase and he'll come to me. They phased and went running, just Sam and Em, because Sam could shield his thoughts a bit now, he'd told us, he would be able to keep it secret, and the plan continued perfectly.

The rest of the pack converged as quickly as possible at Sam-and-Emily's to decorate. Sam had Shown us the image of the completed room over and over, insisting that we would know exactly what to do when the time came.

As usual, Sam was right.

While he kept Embry away from the house, we decorated, and Em(ily) kept us well occupied with her instructions and her warnings about the cake (that cake had been damn good).

Hide when you hear me howl, Sam had instructed, and then suddenly, the signal went off.

We dashed quickly to our respective places, and the lights went out. A few seconds later, Sam was walking through the door, Embry on his heels.

"Go turn on that light over there," Sam muttered, moving inconspicuously to his own place.

Embry flipped the switch and nearly had a heart attack when we sprung out and group-piled him to the floor. Ha. With that heart? I only wish.

It was a good party, all in all. Enough pizza, enough drinks, bang good cake. We'd made sure to spike the beverages with just enough alcohol- we would be tipsy, but we would be conscious of our actions. Conscious enough, anyway.

And when that pleasant buzz had kicked in, that mellowing out, we'd sprawled out to play a favorite game of ours- Seven Minutes in Emily's Linen Closet.

Of course, it had been a complete violation of the rules when I pulled out Paul's name and announced Embry's instead. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

The pack smirked. Embry blushed.

I stood and pulled him into the tiny room, ignoring the jeers and the catcalls. Idiots. The door was pushed closed behind me. And then it was locked. And then it was locked again. And then there was this loud, grumbling, creaking sound and a muffled crash as the fuckers put something huge against the door.

Wow. They were seriously serious.

I glanced back at Embry to see his eyes wide with disbelief, his mouth slightly slack. It made me laugh.

My laugh brought his attention back to me. I trailed off nervously.

The air was still and musty and awkward in the cupboard. Embry fingered a piece of white cloth on a shelf near his shoulder. I cleared my throat quietly.

"So. . ." he mumbled.

I glanced at him. He was staring determinedly at the dangly string between his fingers. "So. . ?" I questioned hesitantly.

The silence was heavy with the absence of his reply. Shit. What had I been thinking? How could I have thought this could possibly work? I didn't know if Embry was willing to give up our friendship for this.

But Embry didn't know all that. All he knew was that he'd been the unfortunate (?) luck of the draw. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, I repeated in my head. My confidence soared back to its old peak and settled in comfortably.

I stepped forward until I could reach out and place my hand above his fidgeting one. Its movements stilled immediately.

"So?" I asked again, watching his face as I trailed my hand up his arm, across his slightly cooler skin. His muscles jumped beneath my fingertips.

He clenched the sheet tightly as my hand reached the juncture of his shoulder and his neck. His pulse hammered rapidly. I swallowed in hopeful anticipation.

Then I stepped closer. There was barely an inch between us. Wind-swept strands of his wispy hair tickled my lips and his breathing was a cool breeze against my collarbone.

"Jake," he breathed, as I rubbed my thumb in slow circles against his thrumming neck. Damn. He was so hot. "What are you. . .?"

His voice faded away as I closed the distance between us easily. I could feel his body pressed against mine, swaying slightly. The tiny room felt filled up with heat and tension. His arm dropped to his side as I tilted his chin up to face me. "Em," I murmured. "Look at me."

He raised his eyes slowly and looked up at me through his long lashes and I held back a groan. His light brown eyes had darkened, deep brown pools of lust and arousal and dawning comprehension. Seductive little bitch.

"I- Jake." He lifted his hand to touch my face- his small hand, tracing over my eyebrows and my half-shut eyes and my big nose and my cheekbones and. . . my lips. "This is-"

Then the delightful, irresistible, shiver-inducing scent of his arousal hit me like a ton of bricks and I growled as I ripped his hand from my face and pushed him up against the one bare wall.

He gasped as he hit it, his eyes dilating as his scrambling hands found purchase in my thin vest, just a tiny near inaudible intake of breath, and I lost it.

Those (thirty-)seven minutes went by quite pleasantly, by the way.

-x-x-x-

The pack acted as a singular unit. Always.

When one wanted something, the pack worked for it. And when everyone wanted the same thing, well. . . there was no stopping us.

Except I wasn't included in "us" anymore. Not when it was Them VS Me. I wouldn't know until we got past/didn't get past this obstacle. You know that grande, super-humongous, shit-that's-a-big-one, hey-that-sorta-looks-like-our-mortal-enemy obstacle? Yeah, that one.

I stood no chance. Not against the combined power of the pack. We were like Teen Titans. Except we were all Beast Boy. And, uh, could only turn into wolves. Yeah, okay, crappy analogy.

They would find out- I knew it and they knew it. It was only a matter of how and when.

But I needed to see him. Real bad and real soon.

I could feel my health deteriorating slowly but surely, felt the stares of my classmates, heard their whispers, saw their pitying glances.

I didn't give a flying upside-down fuck about them.

My wolf would continue to heal me as best he could, but if I was hardly eating, hardly sleeping, what could he use? He would try, but there was only so much he could do without the masses of nutrients and the hours of sleep my shape-shifting body desperately needed.

And he wanted Edward. Real bad and real- well, now.

I hadn't seen him since that day, not since I'd been up to see Bella three weekends ago. She'd called, and I'd tried to talk to her the way I used to, but all I could concentrate on while she talked - and talked and talked - was Edward. Edward with her. Her with Edward. She being with him instead of me, and more importantly, him being with her and not with me.

It was unhealthy, this Imprinting. Becoming completely obsessed with a person in literally the blink of an eye. I understood completely why Sam had hated it at first. What if Bella found out I no longer held her as the most important person in my life? How would Embry feel if I told him I no longer needed him? No- those were both lies. For now. But how on earth would I sort it all out once the time came for Life-Changing Decisions? I wished I could talk to Sam desperately- he would know what to do.

Then again, I didn't know how Edward felt about any of this. His presence was barely there- a faint, dim light in the back of my darkening mind. What if he didn't feel it? What if this was just another one-sided unrequited pining-hopelessly thing? I couldn't do it again. My poor heart couldn't bear it. Would he give up Bella for me?

Would I give up Bella for me? Embry for Bella? Bella for Edward?

Edward for anyone?

-x-x-x-

It was Sam, in the end, who caught me. So predictable.

I'd dodged the others, but Sam was Sam. I couldn't have avoided him if I wanted to. He was sneaky like Spiderman.

And now he was here, leaning casually against a tree in all his naked splendour, his short hair blowing slightly in the twilight breeze, his eyes bright from his recent phasing.

He stood and watched me.

I was freaking the fuck out.

Then he said, nonchalant as ever, "The others have phased. They're waiting."

Good evening to you too, I thought bitterly, and I swallowed and nodded, but I was freaking out. I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do if he kissed me? He would know everything. And then he would phase, and so would everyone else and they'd hate me forever. And I knew it would be forever because the Cullens would never leave, and if they didn't leave, we would stay wolfy. And they couldn't, wouldn't leave- now, not when I needed him so badly, they wouldn't, those blood-sucking motherfuckers had better stay.

"What-" I began, but my mouth was dry, my throat crackly from disuse. "What exactly are they waiting for?"

Sam stared at me for a long time. He did that a lot. Then he closed his eyes. "You have to phase, Jake."

No no please no. I panicked. "Why the hell do you people want me to phase so badly, anyway? I'm not hiding anything!"

Sam smiled wistfully, sadly, slowly opening an eye to look at me again. "I never said you were."

Then he pushed off his tree and came toward me slowly, bracing one arm against my tree. Fuck. He was so close. I could feel his heat. "You're unwell, Jake." I swallowed, my teeth biting into my bottom lip. "Your wolf is unwell. I can't bear to see you like this. The guilt is killing me. I need you to phase."

"Sam," I pleaded, already shaking. My Alpha's presence was already too much for my poor wolf to take. "Please."

"Jake," he warned, a quiet, low rumbling in his chest.

"I can't- no, Sam, you. . ." I let out a shuddering breath. My chest was constricting- it hurt so bad. "You don't understand-" I would lose them all. All of them. "I can't do this, Sam- it's so fucking messed up-" I held back tears, I gripped my knees as I panted and shook. "No no no no-"

And then what felt like seconds and centuries later, Sam was kneeling above me with his hands on my shoulders and he was saying something but it was faint and somewhere off, distant, and I didn't know when the last time I'd eaten was - my empty stomach burned - and then my face was stinging like fuck, ow. And I tried to surface, I really freaking tried, and Sam's hand was slapping my face again and there was this big-ass whooooosh.

"Jake," he was saying, and I could hear him clearly now. "Jacob."

"Sam," I panted, more than a little winded. "What the hell just happened?"

"I'm not sure, Jake," he muttered, eyes running over me in a quick physical check, "but I'm going to find out."

Then he turned to me and met my gaze full on. "Jacob-" he began in a firm voice, and fuck it all, I was screwed. Chopped and screwed. "Phase now."

I had no choice. My wolf barked happily as Sam stepped away and phased back before my own sharpening eyes. I groaned as my muscles, my bones shifted involuntarily, felt my fur bursting out of my skin, heat engulfing my shaking, trembling, unhealthy body.

It was done. In a few short seconds, I became aware in my mind and to everyone else. And then my thoughts Showed.

Oh shit, I breathed shakily.

It was eerily freakily quiet for the shortest, tiniest fragment of a second. I was too terrified- my fright was making more and more Show. I tried to relax, to calm myself down, but it was too late, the images and the thoughts and the memories Showed and Showed, flashing by in rapid succession, branding onto each of their minds, until-

Jacob, Paul gasped, and for once in his life, he was speechless.What the fuck?

Chaos ensued.

A/N: So. There was a lovely chapter filled with Packtion and Jake/Embry. Mmm.

I'm sorry that I've been unresponsive to your reviews- by the time you read this, I will have. I've just been so busy lately, between being Yearbook Editor, on the Prom Committee and exams. Horrid.

And today is my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend, Jesse. He had an exam this morning, and then we wagged school from about 11 this morning and spent the whole day together. We had. . . a lot of fun. Har har.

He's going off to England in a month for college + uni. I don't know what I'll do. :(

Enough of my ridiculously gay whining. I hope you enjoyed this chappie, and I'll get the next one done when I've finished my finals, so maybe in the next couple of weeks. Maybe.

THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWSSS! I love them all. Like little Hershey's kisses. So go do it again.

Because reviews make me happier than a Jesse in my bed (I'm lying, but it's pretty damn close).

I am pimping out the following stories, because they make me throb (in the nether regions):

- A Very Underestimated Emotion, by Rockstorm. AMAZING.

- Le Château du Jardin Paradis, by brent360. Freaking HOT.

- Underneath, by newssodark. STEAMY smut, wonderful plot, and so so heartwrenching.

Have fun, darlings.

xx

-I.D.