A/N: Why hello, guys! I'm happy to see you around, thank you for reading! As some of you might already know, my Nyanatsu Valentine's Day (lemon!) oneshot, 'I Love Teaching!' is already up: you can find it on my lj. /And feel free to friend me on lj if you'd like to! I love meeting new people./
I'm looking for a beta: A nice reader offered to beta for me, but she might not have received my reply to her message, and since I was so busy I left it like that.... So I'm eager to find somebody now, because my stories could be much better with some help. Please contact me if you'd like to beta for this fic and / or my Nyanko x Natsume lj challenge. Thank you!
As for this chapter, please enjoy! :)
Rating: T
Pairing: Nyanko x Natsume
Warning: If you don't like male x male, don't read it. Please.
You always want to be the one to let go, because you are afraid of being
pushed away.
It was reassuring for Natsume to have discussed such important things with Madara; he came to see his side of the coin more or less in the end, but he still wasn't one hundred percent content with the outcome.
He was sitting by the table in the kitchen, waiting for Tohko-san to settle down at last.
''Oh, Nyankichi!'' Shigeru-san said as he entered the room with a pleasantly surprised look on his face. ''Where did you find him, Takashi-kun?"
Natsume pulled off a slightly bittersweet smile. ''He came back on his own.''
''I see.'' The man bent down to stroke the white, fluffy fur. Nyanko purred contently. ''Haha, how cute!''
''Just sit down already, dear.'' Tohko-san requested of him. "We have been waiting for you.''
''All right, all right.'' He did as he was told with a genuine smile on his face. Natsume was once again surprised at the feeling they gave off. It was obvious even by just looking at them they loved each other and matched each other well; their relationship seemed to be well-balanced. It was heart-warming, but somehow, Natsume couldn't all just be happy about it today.
I envy them for this; being able to sit side by side and eating together…
Nyanko jumped into his lap; eyes dangerously narrowing. It was as if he was trying to remind him of something. Natsume sighed, giving up. He stroked the cat's fur reluctantly.
The adults didn't notice anything, as they were talking about some insignificant topic cheerfully.
Nyanko's piercing gaze still didn't let go of the boy. Remember what we talked about, Natsume. – His eyes said.
''Takashi-kun? You look distracted. Is everything all right?''
Natsume looked up at her sharply. ''I... umm... I'm fine, thank you.''
''Are you sure?''
''Yes, thank you.'' He tried to smile to justify his statement.
''Itadakimasu'' He added politely. The adults didn't want to bother him with any more questions, so they dismissed the matter. They hoped the boy would tell them if something was wrong, after all… They followed Natsume's example and partook in the meal together.
Nyanko jumped down from the boy's lap, and went back to his own plate, placed on the floor. Natsume had to force himself not to look back at him. I wonder why I had never thought this was wrong until now. He's no less than us, he might even be better than all the people I know... Why does he have to eat different food from a plate on the cold, dirty floor?
He once again realized how cruel a race could be to another one, even if it wasn't intentional.
It has to be unintentional, he thought. Who was he mad at, then? Why was he bitter? Why did he realize the problem only now? Questions, more and more questions again; he might never solve them at all. Maybe he was just upset with himself for not doing more for Nyanko, for being incompetent to actually change things.
Said cat was watching him from the corner of his eyes in the meantime. He felt sorry for the boy for torturing himself over nothing; over facts he had already accepted and understood in the past.
Humans and spirits don't differ much. One thing is exactly the same: they both look down on the other. Well, most of them, to be precise… There are always exceptions.
Breakfast was almost over when Natsume turned to his guardians.
''Would it be a problem if I went out after this?'' He asked, too politely to Tohko-san's liking. She wished the boy would be a bit more relaxed and rebellious. He shouldn't be that reserved at the very least.
''Of course, Takashi-kun! You don't have to ask, you are free to choose what to do in your free time."
''We trust you, Takashi-kun.'' Shigeru-san added.
Natsume lightly blushed. ''T-thank you. You are too kind to me.''
He thanked the food quickly, and excused himself. Nyanko followed him back to his room.
''You should have stayed with them a bit longer.''
He didn't feel like responding at all.
''Soo...'' Nyanko started carefully.
Natsume stepped to his closet and started rummaging through his belongings. He didn't have much, but he never wanted more, so he considered himself a content person.
''So, Natsume.'' Nyanko resumed, but the boy was still ignoring him.
He got bored with that, so he transformed into his human form in a puff off smoke, and now a tall, naked man was standing behind the busy boy. '' – what will I be wearing?'' He whispered this to Natsume's ear directly, in a husky voice. It freaked out the boy, to say the least.
Natsume shivered. ''Nyan – Madara!''
''Please don't do this from now on!"
Madara laughed. ''Oh, it's so much fun teasing you...'' He plopped down on the still laid-out futon, and watched Natsume search.
''I'm not entirely sure these fill fit, but...'' The boy turned to him apologetically in the end, handing some garments to him.
''No, I'm sure it'll be okay.'' He smiled. ''I'm sorry about the trouble.''
''Not at all, it's me who... umm, you know.'' He cleared his throat. ''I'm sorry. I'll go wait outside while you change.''
Nyanko watched him leave the room, and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. He shook his head discontentedly.
''It's not like he had to leave, but... let's get to it, shall we?''
It had been a long time since he last wore clothes, so it was kind of difficult to dress up, but he managed. When he was done, he called the boy back, and grinned, showing off his sharp teeth as he did so.
''Do I look fabulous, or do I look fabulous?''
Natsume tried to look serious, but couldn't hold his laugh. The clothes were visibly small for the man, so he had to practically squeeze himself into them; each of his muscles outlined under the clothes. The long, white hair and red markings on his face, accompanied by the tight, fitting clothing made him look like some sort of delinquent or model. He looked like somebody his guardians wouldn't want him to spend his time with. But don't judge a book by its cover, as the saying goes.
''I got hold of a pair of shoes for you, while you were changing. I hope they will fit, though…''
Nyanko took the shoes and fixed them curiously. ''They are Shigeru-san's.''
Natsume nodded uncomfortably. "I'm afraid my shoes wouldn't fit.''
''So basically you stole your guardian's shoes?''
The boy blushed wildly. ''No! I just… borrowed them, yes, I borrowed them and will give them back.''
''I see. You borrowed them.''
Natsume snapped. ''Fine, just make fun of me! You don't have to wear them if you don't want to, you know. I can take them back anytime!''
The man put the shoes down and stepped to the boy with a serious look on his face; he hugged him. ''I'm sorry, Natsume. I didn't want to mock you. It's just that… It's fun teasing you, I must admit. I know I shouldn't, and I promise I won't, okay?''
He ruffled the honey-colored hair gently.
Natsume relaxed in his arms. He awkwardly returned the hug, his hands clutching together on Madara's wide back. This touch was clearly linking back to their previous discussion. The boy had needed this for a long time now; Madara's warm, forgiving embrace. He felt as though nothing wrong or dangerous could reach him while the man was by his side. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling he didn't want to give up on.
''We will do something about it.'' The man said full of confidence, which wasn't at all unusual from him. ''Just leave it to me!''
Natsume nodded lightly. He separated from the man promptly, and averted his eyes. ''We should go now. I d-don't want Shigeru-san to notice his shoes are gone.''
Nyanko grinned cheekily. ''You don't wanna look like a thief, do you?'' He laughed heartily while attempting to put on the shoes. They didn't pinch as much as he had thought they would.
The boy watched him put them on clumsily and struggle with tying his shoelaces.
''You don't do this too often, now do you?'' He teased him. ''Now, let me help.''
''Hmph! I don't want any help from you, you brat.''
That attitude was so Nyanko, Natsume thought instantly. It made him smile widely. He kneeled down in front of the man, and took over gently before Madara could say anything. The man straightened up, and observed what the boy was doing.
''You do it like this, see?''
The boy explained and showed him patiently how to do it. As soon as he was done, Madara nodded enthusisastically. ''Wow! This is so much fun! Let me do it, too!''
He bent down and Natsume helped him untie the laces so that he could tie them himself. He concentrated on his task entirely, sticking out his tongue as he did so.
''No, no, you do it like this.'' Natsume placed his hand on Madara's and they did it together.
Nyanko acted like an excited child. "I did it! Natsume, I did it!''
The boy drew his hand away swiftly. ''Well done, Sensei."
Madara ruffled the boy's hair playfully. "Thanks."
Natsume just smiled at him again. ''But really, we should go at last. Take the coat and let's go.''
''I thought we would meet up on the street." The man said, puzzled.
''How come?''
''You told Tohko-san you'd go out. So why would you leave through the window?'
''Stuupid.'' Natsume imitated his Sensei's catchphrase he used often when he was in his cat form. "We are going together, right? And since you can't leave through the door, we are taking our leave through the window.''
''Natsume.'' The man sighed. ''Please stop acting like a child.''
''I'm insisting on this.'' He looked desperate.
Nyanko couldn't help but give in with a sigh. ''Humans… Stupid, but devoted humans.'' He put the coat on and followed the boy through the window.
It was kind of strange for Natsume to walk side by side with such a unique individual at first; fortunately it was Sunday and the streets were even emptier than usual, so they didn't have to tolarate people staring at them.
Nyanko – or to be precise, Madara – enjoyed walking in his human form very much. He was chattering away cheerfully; nothing bitter remained from their serious conversation, or the previous day's misunderstandings. So all was well.
Since it was nice outside, they decided it'd be best if they took a nice walk with sweet buns in their hands rather than sitting in. Madara hurled himself on the pastries immediately; they were still warm when Natsume handed them to him. They started walking aimlessly, chit-chatting about unimportant things; not bringing up anything severe.
In the end they sat down on the shore of the lake – their usual place – enjoying the sunshine. They remained silent for quite a while; both of them immersed in their own thoughts.
It was Nyanko who broke the far-stretching silence with a serious look on his face. The man even cleared his throat before speaking to emphasize what he wanted to say. Natsume made sure he would pay attention to each word the man would say.
''Are you gonna eat that?''
Natsume looked puzzled at first, than laughed. I thought he was going to say something more… important.
''I don't think so.''
Nyanko's eyes shone up brightly. ''So does that mean I can have them?''
''Hmm, I wonder about that – '' He pulled a mysterious face.
Madara narrowed his eyes.
''You tease!''
''You deserve it, though. And by the way, I changed my mind.''
He bit into the sweet bun slowly, and made a content face. ''Mhmm, so good…''
Nyanko blinked, and couldn't say a word, just stared at the boy's mouth-level – biting into food and licking lips playfully is quite a thing to watch, after all... ''You – ''
''Ahh, so irresistibly sweet! Mhmm…"
Madara burst out laughing; he laughed so hard he almost shed a tear.
''P-please no more!''
Natsume tried really hard not to laugh, as he was still eating. Only half of the bun remained. ''And so, I'll now eat the remains all by myself –''
Nyanko slowly stopped laughing and grinned instead. ''Not so fast.''
He leant forward to the boy; it happened so fast Natsume couldn't follow on the situation – Madara bit into the other side of the sweet bun, so now they were sharing the food; their faces only inches apart.
The man winked at the boy, not being able to speak at the moment. Natsume wanted to say something, but obviously couldn't; he blushed prettily. What am I doing, really?
They were staring at each other for some time. Their mouths filled up with the sweet flavour of the bun, and the dough started to dissolve slowly. Natsume panicked; he was trying to figure out what to do next.
In the meantime, Nyanko started eating the bun, and his eyes told the boy to do the same. Natsume figured that would be okay; so they were eating silently and quickly, getting nearer and nearer to each other.
How come I don't feel uneasy? The boy asked himself.
He felt unusually excited for some reason; eating the pastry together was fun, and he was looking forward to what would happen next. The sweet bun didn't last long, though…
Nyanko cupped his face gently, and bent his head down to him. Their mouths finally met, lips slightly parting to grant entry to each other's tongue. It was much more different than the first time; Madara was gentle now, but firm and confident at the same time; he guided Natsume to put his hands around his neck, and pressed his chest to Natsume's.
The boy felt like he would melt into his arms; shuddering; his pulse high in the clouds. His whole body was screaming for more; he submitted himself to the man's will, all but copying him and trying hard to please him. He could all but wonder what Madara was thinking. One thing was for sure, though: he didn't know what the hell he was doing, making out with his cat, no, making out with an adult, who was male, too. But he couldn't care less. The sensation was too much to give up on, no matter the consequences.
Nyanko's – oh so nimble – tongue is swirling in my own mouth. – Natsume noted lazily as if it was the most natural thing to make out with your pet. No, it wasn't – but seeing spirits isn't quite ordinary either, or is it?
Madara's soft, wet tongue, his sweet scent; the touch of his long, silky hair – everything about the man felt good. And Natsume didn't want to let go anymore.
The man was caressing his back slowly, while trying to press their bodies even closer. It's gotten quite hot… - Natsume thought mindlessly.
When the kiss came to an end, the boy didn't know what to do or what to say. Madara was still embracing him, not showing any signs of planning to let him go, smiling at him fondly.
Natsume was gasping for air. He looked away promptly, cheeks red with both excitement and embarrassment. ''I-I think maybe we should…''
''Yes?''
''Uh… go back?''
Madara grinned. ''Why so fast, Natsume? It's so nice outside.''
''You ate my bun.''
''Not quite. We shared that bun, among other things…'' He winked teasingly.
Natsume turned red. ''Madara!''
The man laughed loudly, his fang-like teeth showing. "Sorry, sorry.''
The boy pushed him away firmly, and sticking his tongue out at the man, said ''No more buns for you… among other things.''
''Too bad I couldn't care less about sweet buns.'' Madara smiled. ''But nice tongue you have there, Natsume.''
With that, he pulled the boy back to his warm embrace, and kissed him long and hard. The boy once again felt the world disappear around him; he quickly forgot about everything. It was Madara who filled his mind; Madara and nobody else.
''Natsume.'' The man whispered when it ended. ''It might be best if I disappeared and left you, and – ''
''What?'' He cut in, panick building up in him.
'' – your life is already difficult enough as it is, but I don't care. I'll be selfish this time: can I stay by your side?''
Natsume blinked, realization kicking in. He smiled lightly. ''What a stupid question, Sensei. I'd be really sad if you left.''
''But I might not be able to restrain myself…'' He argued. ''And I get jealous easily, too.''
''I know that; you've made it quite obvious already.''
''Have I?''
He nodded. ''I don't mind, though.''
Nyanko caressed his cheeks lightly, causing Natsume to blush.
''You know…'' The man was all serious now. ''Being different from others is always more complicated than going with the crowd – and sometimes painful, too."
''I know.''
''Yes… I guess you do.'' The man smiled. ''But the thing you don't know is something I'd like to teach you: living through these times is easier if you have someone by your side. But – '' He smirked evilly. '' that doesn't mean I'll pass up on the yuujinchou. It's all mine if you die.''
Natsume pushed him away, again, frowning in displeasure. ''That last line was unnecessary.''
Madara laughed. ''I was just joking, sorry.''
Dark clouds started to cover the sun from man licked his mouth, and stated: ''It looks like rain. I guess we should head back now."
The boy nodded approvingly, and they started to slowly walk back. ''Too bad, though. I don't know when I'll be able to borrow Shigeru-san's shoes ag – '' He suddenly stopped, realization finally kicking in. He remembered the time when they went on that class fear contest in his school, and Nyanko took the form of a female…
Natsume looked at Nyanko menacingly. ''Sensei.''
''Y-yes, Natsume?'' He tried to suppress his snicker, but failed hard.
''How come you were wearing clothes when you transformed into your female form back then?''
The man tried to look innocent. ''How come you didn't remember this earlier…?''
''I'm SO going to kill you, you – !!''
Madara thought it would be best he ran for his life.
Natsume just couldn't believe he was deceived, again.
''I just wanted to see your reaction to my fabulous body!'' Nyanko shouted back to his chaser. ''I'm sorry, but I can actually transform into whatever clothes I like – ''
Natsume sighed.
What have I gotten myself into…?
A/N: Aaand… done! How did you like it? Remember, your opinion is always welcome! How do you think the story should continue? (I already have something in mind, but do tell me what you think, because I might just change my mind.)
Once again, thank you for all your support! ~ Until next time, Zurelily