Talk Any Louder
Chapter Three
London being only half a day's journey from Meryton served the family well. Though Mr. Bennet was a neglectful correspondent and wrote only a line or two during the whole of his trip, Mr. Gardiner was loquacious.
The first piece of news was unremarkable. Mr. Gardiner wrote to say he had arrived in London and been reunited with his brother the very day he left Longbourn. Mr. Bennet had read the letter prepared by Mr. Darcy, and his daughters were very tactfully given to understand that the offered help had been grudgingly accepted. The men had not met with Mr. Darcy yet, but Mr. Gardiner assured them that he would write as soon as they had and relate the course of the conversation.
The second letter arrived before Mrs. Gardiner had posted her reply to the first. Mr. Gardiner wrote that he and Mr. Bennet had been received at Mr. Darcy's London home the morning of his second day in town. The letter was eagerly passed among all the ladies presently home, including Mrs. Bennet, though she declined to read past the first paragraph.
Mr. Gardiner assured them that Mr. Darcy had found Mr. Wickham and Lydia living together in a boarding house. They were, as feared, not wed. He intended to visit the couple himself the next day, but Mr. Darcy had related that Lydia was in good health and high spirits. His first object had been to separate the couple, but at this, he failed.
Though Elizabeth quickly realized that Mr. Darcy's plan to separate Lydia and Mr. Wickham was likely canvassed in the letter she watched him write, but had not read herself, she was shocked by the suggestion.
"What can he mean by it?" she had wondered idly to Jane.
"Lydia is very young," her sister replied. "Too young, I should think, to marry, even if she is out. Miss Darcy is Lydia's age, is she not?"
At this, Elizabeth could not help but interject that Miss Darcy was a year or so older.
"The very best outcome would be for Lydia to return home," Jane continued. "She can marry when she is wise enough to make a prudent choice."
"What man, of adequate means to support her, would take her knowing that she lived out of wedlock with Mr. Wickham?" Elizabeth wondered. "There are no men that good."
"Perhaps it is not too late to say it was a misunderstanding."
"Perhaps not," Elizabeth reluctantly agreed. "If Lydia is not with child, we can say it was all a misunderstanding and people can chose to believe us or not at their leisure. However, any man she would marry would deserve to know that she is not chaste."
"Perhaps Mr. Darcy intended to send her away," Jane suggested, unwilling to discuss her sister's lost virtue in anything but the vaguest terms.
"Papa cannot support a second household," Elizabeth said firmly. "We barely live within our means now."
"Then we are fortunate Lydia is choosing to marry him," Jane surmised.
"She is choosing to stay with him," Elizabeth corrected. "That is not a marriage."
Mrs. Gardiner wrote a reply to her husband's second letter. Elizabeth refrained from penning her own to demand a clearer explanation of Mr. Darcy's intentions. That Lydia was choosing to compound her disgrace by continuing with Mr. Wickham after she had been offered whatever salvation his money could buy made those intentions irrelevant.
The third letter received at Longbourn brought them all greater cheer. Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gardiner had gone to see Lydia. While she had preferred Mr. Wickham to the dreary stranger Mr. Darcy, to her father and uncle, she was not so stubborn. She removed from Mr. Wickham's lodgings and settled at her uncle's home quickly enough. She maintained that she would marry Mr. Wickham and negotiations had begun for the marriage settlement.
Mr. Gardiner implied that Mr. Wickham, though having no intentions of marrying Lydia when they left, had been persuaded to change his opinion by threat of legal action. The friendship he had cultivated between himself and Lydia was apparently of a sort that the family could sue him for breach of contract.
("Lydia is not clever enough to keep proof of Mr. Wickham's false promises," Elizabeth remarked.
"She is a romantic," was Jane's reply. "She would keep love letters. If he wrote his intention of marrying her, Papa would be right to pursue it through the law."
Elizabeth, remembering a cherished letter of her own that carefully sidestepped direct mention of a proposal, flushed.)
The oppressive spirit at Longbourn lifted with this reprieve. Married, Lydia would be absolved of her sins. When the wedding date was announced, Mrs. Bennet emerged from her apartments for the first time since Lydia's disappearance. Mrs. Phillips and Kitty immediately set out to ensure that all of Meryton congratulated them on the first marriage of a Bennet sister.
Because all the the news had been delivered by the pen of Mr. Gardiner, once Elizabeth was allowed to feel relief, she longed to know her father's position on all that had happened. She had not heard from him in his own words since she left for Derbyshire. Mr. Gardiner's understanding and tact she appreciated perhaps more than her father's, but her papa was the first man in her heart. He was a man who liked peace and he had been robbed of it for a very long time. He would stay in London until the wedding three weeks hence. Elizabeth had no doubts that the wait would be a trying time for her father. Mr. Bennet hated London and hated being another man's guest in the best of times. He was robbed of the possibility of making the best of the visit by the very real consideration that Lydia could be with child by the time she reached the alter.
Elizabeth was in her apartment writing a cheerless letter for her father, that he might enjoy commiserating with, when she was called into the sitting room to visit with Lady Lucas and Maria. The Lucases had not found the Bennets worthy companions during their trials, but now that everything was being resolved with an event they could pretend was a joyous one, their fair-weather friends had come to sit and gossip.
Kitty and Maria giggled in the corner while Mrs. Bennet tried to pretend that Mr. Wickham was a larger prize than Mr. Collins. Elizabeth sat at her needlework, considering her presence quite superfluous, until Maria addressed her, laughing: "Eliza, tell Kitty that you would never marry Mr. Darcy. He's too frightening!"
Elizabeth's teasing reply that Mr. Darcy wanted to be thought of as very frightening and would be pleased to know he had been so successful with regards to Miss Lucas was not heard over the reply of her mother.
"Miss Lizzy has made a great match, Maria! Ten thousand pounds a year! A great estate in Derbyshire and a house in town! My sister tells me the park is ten miles around. That will do quite well for Lizzy. Very fond of walking, you know."
Kitty boggled at the idea of ten miles of property in London. ("Where do they find the room?") Elizabeth protested that she had made no match of the kind. Mrs. Lucas nodded sagely and said, "He was always partial to our Eliza. Why, my Charlotte has said many times that he favored Eliza."
"Who wouldn't favor my Lizzy?" Mrs. Bennet cooed. "So quick, so clever, so well read. Lady Lucas, did you know Elizabeth reads both Latin and Greek? I dare say he's never met a lady so accomplished!"
Having grown up without a governess or the money to attend a seminary, the Bennet girls pursued what education they could with the resources they had. Most young ladies learned the modern languages; her greatest resource being a university educated father, Elizabeth had learned the classic languages because they were what he could teach. She was proud of her ability to read the great poetry of antiquity in their original languages but she had never considered it an accomplishment to entice a gentlemen. Her cheeks burned with the shame of her mother's claims.
"And she plays and sings," Lady Lucas added, rather anticlimactically. "The education of my girls was rather more traditional," she added. "Charlotte and Maria speak French and Italian."
"Lizzy," Mrs. Bennet said, hearing the subtle dig of Lady Lucas's words, "why did you never learn French?"
"I had no one to teach me, ma'am," she answered.
"Your father speaks French," her mother tutted.
"I am very sorry, but he does not. If anyone tried to teach him in his youth, I am afraid he was a poor student of the language."
"Does your Mr. Darcy speak French?"
Deciding it was best not to engage in an argument, Elizabeth said, "He has never made mention of it, if he does."
Satisfied that her husband need not know French if a man worth ten thousand a year did not speak it, Mrs. Bennet turned her attention back to Lady Lucas. "Mr. Darcy has two or three French cooks at least," she said. "Lizzy, when you were last at Pemberley, how many French dishes were served?"
"I have never dined there, ma'am," Elizabeth said, feeling her resolve to meet this humiliation with dignity slipping.
"Never dined there," her mother said mournfully. "How are you to know how he likes his table set when you are mistress if you do not dine with him?"
"Asking him would be out of the question, I gather."
Lady Lucas and Maria, feeling unwelcome in the face of the mounting tension between mother and daughter choose soon after to take their leave.
"Elizabeth," her mother said sternly after their guests were gone, "I know you enjoy amusing your father by vexing me as he does, but I simply cannot have you embarrassing me like that in front of Lady Lucas."
Elizabeth, unable to sympathize with anyone who felt their embarrassment during the visit was greater than her own, announced she was going for a walk. Solitude and reflection refreshed her spirits and when she re-entered the house, Elizabeth was able to think of her imaginary engagement with the humor a situation so absurd deserved. It was true, she owned, that she thought very highly of Mr. Darcy. She hoped fervently and self-consciously that she might see him again someday, though as Lydia and Mr. Wickham's wedding drew nearer, she felt it unlikely. She longed to thank him for his services to her family, for being so kind to her beloved aunt and uncle and for loving her once though she hardly deserved it. She had so many apologies to make. If she could see him once more, speak with him once more, let him bow over her hand just one more time, receive one more kiss and part on good terms... Then...then, she could think of him and regret him and continue on with her life, a better person for having known him, and having been loved by him.
But, to have her family cling so desperately to this idea of an engagement regardless of how often she corrected them was a delicious piece of human folly and Elizabeth was determined to enjoy it. If her mother thought she could manifest a gentlemen to marry her daughter simply by speaking of it often, then she would not allow it to pain her. She would laugh at it, as it deserved.
Jane greeted her at the door when Elizabeth was disposing of her bonnet and spencer. "The post arrived while you were out," she said. "We've had another letter from my uncle."
"Pray tell me he has good news," Elizabeth said. "We have nothing but misery and resignation for too long! I should like to be honestly happy again."
Jane smiled tentatively. "I hope this news will make you happy. Our mother shall be very happy."
"What is it?"
"Papa and Uncle Gardiner will come home after Lydia's wedding," Jane said brightly, "and when they do, Mr. Darcy shall accompany them."
Feeling all the anxiety of having, what was a moment ago, her deepest wish come true, Elizabeth had the most sensible reaction she could. She wept.
Any effusiveness upon being reunited with her father was tempered by the presence of his silent companion. Elizabeth watched her cousins with some jealousy as they clamored for Mr. Gardiner's attention. Too young to recognize they should comport themselves with more dignity in front of a guest, they hugged him and tugged on his hands. It had been an unexpectedly long separation from their father and the Gardiner children felt every moment of it. As much as Elizabeth would miss the counsel of her aunt, the Gardiner family deserved to be whole again and return home.
They would not be returning to London until the next day, a fact for which Elizabeth was grateful. Partially because Mrs. Gardiner was a trusted confident whose presence she required when faced with Mr. Darcy for the first time since he kissed her hand in Lambton, but largely because Aunt, Uncle and their four children filled all of Longbourn's guest quarters. Prior occupation of those apartments was the only thing saving Elizabeth from Mr. Darcy being invited to stay in her home. Even with her aunt's fortifying presence, Elizabeth barely felt equal to this meeting. She would never be able to leave her own bedroom for the mortification if he was staying at Longbourn.
Longbourn's sitting room was not so large as to comfortably accommodate its master, mistress, their four daughters and three guests. Mrs. Bennet, alert for any opportunity to promote a match between her second daughter and the austere gentlemen who supposedly favored her, made an awkward suggestion that Elizabeth should show Mr. Darcy the park.
With no small amount of embarrassment on both sides, coats and hats were fetched and donned. Kitty was sent along with them, for in such a situation, the ideal chaperone was the person most likely to be irresponsible and distracted.
Their conversation being dull and commonplace, Kitty soon wandered away from Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy in search of something to amuse herself. Talk of the weather and condition of the roads was duller than normal when Mr. Darcy was the one speaking. Elizabeth was pretty and clever; that she attracted so many terrible men and no pleasant ones surprised Kitty, but she supposed some people were just unlucky.
Once Kitty had ventured far enough away that they could converse in relative privacy, Mr. Darcy ended the customary discourse and said, "I was surprised to find the neighborhood anticipating my arrival. Last we met, I believe you implied I was not well liked in Meryton."
Elizabeth flushed. "Gossip is a favored past time," she said lightly. "I am afraid you have made yourself a subject of intrigue."
"Apparently so."
"Please don't concern yourself about it too much," Elizabeth said, hearing too much feeling in her own voice. "All will be forgotten in time. Talk is spread quickly, but is forgotten even faster."
Mr. Darcy pressed his lips together. "I am curious as to how this came about."
"My aunt and uncle Gardiner," Elizabeth began - then feeling suddenly a great need to defend the much beloved friends who had first misunderstood her - declared, "are intelligent, amiable, well-bred people. I cannot think of a couple, in the whole of my acquaintance, whom I respect more."
Mr. Darcy clasped his hands behind his back. "I do not know your aunt as well as I should like, but having spent much of this past month with your uncle, I believe I am as fit as any to judge you correct for such feelings."
Elizabeth took a deep breath before forcing her to say that which she knew must lower her uncle in Mr. Darcy's estimation. "But even they are not immune to errors in judgment, for I was to learn - together with my mother and remaining sisters - that my aunt and uncle believed you and I to be engaged."
Elizabeth's gaze darted to Mr. Darcy's face. Too embarrassed to look at him steadily as she sated his curiosity, she could only take periodic peeks. His lips were compressed so tightly they had lost all color. His eyes were closed.
"Your admirable defense of Lydia was attributed to a brother's feelings," she continued. "To have Lydia as your sister, you would intend to take one or another of us as your wife. My mother suspected you favored Jane at first, which was when I learned my Aunt Gardiner's feelings.
"I immediately corrected my aunt," Elizabeth added hastily. "She graciously accepted that she had misunderstood the situation. My mother, however..." Elizabeth knew not how to condemn or defend her mother. "My mother shared her hopes in that quarter will all of her friends."
They walked some minutes in silence. "My mother," he said suddenly, "died when I was young. She was...she was a woman of understanding, sense and education. Not," he said slowly, "unlike your aunt, I think." Mr. Darcy paused, and Elizabeth waited silently for him to continue. "Since her death, Lady Catherine has sought to provide for me any mothering a boy, and later young man, might need. She has some hopes of becoming my mother."
"Yes," Elizabeth said, cold dread sliding into her gut. "I've heard of her hopes for a match between yourself and Miss De Bourgh."
"So you see," he said, "I am not as unfamiliar as you might think with a parent who ignores your protests and circulates what rumor she likes best."
Cool, blessed relief flowed over Elizabeth like water, and she laughed for the joy of it. He smiled. "What sort of girl is Miss De Bourgh?" she wondered. "I've been in company with her, but I've never heard her speak."
Mr. Darcy shrugged. Elizabeth laughed again. "In the past ten years, I do not believe I have heard her speak above half that many words. I understand your friend Mrs. Collins has much more success."
"Mrs. Collins became my cousin when she married," Elizabeth said, for the first time sincerely pleased with Charlotte's choice. She was proud to call such an astute woman her cousin, and prouder still to have her name bring such relief.