Anyway, Milo and all other OCs belong to me. Everyone else belongs to Craig Bartlett and Nickelodeon.
"C'mon, man! I promise not to tease!"
'Yeah and maybe someday I'll be crowned the king of Siam,' Milo rolled his eyes at the older boy's flimsy assurance. How many times were they going to have to go through this discussion? "Gerald, for the last time, I'm not telling you my result-period. Understand?"
"Gerald," Arnold cut in on behalf of his brother, momentarily forgetting his own marriage-related funk, "if Milo wants to keep it to himself, let him. We shouldn't have to make him share it with us if he's uncomfortable about it."
Arnold had all his attention on Gerald, so he never noticed the slight wince that immediately went through Milo's body.
'Concerned for my self-preservation would be more how I'd put it.' Honestly, there were some things just not meant to be heard until the right time.
Gerald, in the meantime, rolled his eyes. Seriously, hearing who Milo got for a wife wouldn't be like getting hold of a case full of classified government information.
'Besides, it's not like he ended up with—'
"Oh hi, Arnold, Gerald, Milo..."
Speak of the sugar-coated devil...
All three boys froze in their tracks at the familiar, sugar-sweet voice. A glance forward confirmed the source instantly, the prominent braided red hair and plain green dress hard to miss.
Arnold blinked in wonder. "Lila? I thought you went home."
"I was going to," the country-girl explained after pulling herself away from the oranges she'd been observing for spots, "but Daddy picked me up and took me grocery shopping instead so here I am."
Indeed, the boys looked past Lila and saw her father at a nearby produce stand. The older man even waved to them with a cheery smile once he noticed them staring his way.
"Oh by the way, Arnold, I heard that you took Rhonda's test."
Time instantly grind to a halt for Hillwood's peacemaker. Arnold really wished he could crawl under a rock right now. "O-Oh, you did?"
Lila grinned with an air more giddy than usual. "Oh yes, I have to say I'm ever so touched that you got Helga!"
Arnold and Gerald stared at her in surprise—well shock in Arnold's case. Did they actually just hear her right?
Milo was the only one not shocked since he already knew Lila's awareness concerning Helga's secret love for Arnold. To say he wasn't interested about what Lila, of all people, had to say about Arnold's result, though, would've been a downright lie.
"In fact, I think the two of you would make an ever so adorable couple!" Lila exclaimed as she clasped her hands and shut her eyes in fangirl-like excitement.
That...sent Arnold's jaw dropping.
"Ya don't say?" Milo asked with an extremely amused and slightly cruel grin. As much and dearly as he loved his brother, it wasn't everyday he got a chance to see Arnold stuck in such a hilarious situation.
"Oh I do, Milo!" Lila gushed, completely unaware of the little boy's sadistic motives, "In fact, I'm oh too certain they'd have the cutest little family ever as well! Could you just imagine it? So many little Arnolds and Helgas crawling all over their warm cozy home—I know that sounds a bit silly and a bit much but—"
All of a sudden, Lila paused in mid-sentence, her face going blank at something—or better yet a lack of something.
"Lila? What's wrong?" Gerald asked, puzzled by the girl's strange change in expression.
Lila furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she put a finger to her chin. "Um, Gerald, Milo, did either of you see where Arnold went?"
Now was the Keeper of the Tales' turn to look confused; he stared at Lila as if she'd sprouted a third-eye and hypnotized a random passerby into acting like a dancing chimp. He gestured a hand to the area between him and Milo. "Girl, what are you talkin' about? Arnold's right here. "
"Uh Gerald...," Milo piped up, his tone filled with the same puzzlement and his eyes taking in what Lila meant.
"What Milo?" When he turned to address the younger boy, Gerald widened his eyes once he incidentally and finally realized the absence of his best friend. After everybody took in the empty space for a few more dumbstruck seconds, all three kids scanned their surroundings for any traces of Arnold.
No football head in sight.
'Maybe I overdid it with the teasing,' Milo wondered with slight guilt, 'I better just apologize to him once I get home then keep my mouth about this mess from that point on...or for the next five years, whatever works best.'
"Oh and Milo...?"
The addressed looked up at Lila, "Yeah, what's up?"
"I...I...I hope you're happy with who you ended up with!"
An eyebrow ascended the young artist's forehead at the stutter. Was Lila feeling alright? "Um sure...thanks. By the way, did you take the test yourself?" Milo needed to do a mental double-take. 'Why the hell did I just ask her that?'
Though she regained her composure, Lila retained a fair amount of meekness as she responded with a shrug of her shoulders and a weak frown, avoiding eye-contact with Milo for some reason. "Well, no, I'm ever so sure I never got the chance. I would've liked to, though"—her frown tipped into a more genuine smile—"It sounded ever so fun.
"I guess so."
For reasons Lila herself could not fathom, something Milo's response nudged her—and not in a pleasant way. "You...guess so?"
Milo shrugged his shoulders, puzzled by the girl's sudden interest in his answer yet deciding to think nothing of it. "It's just a game. It doesn't really mean anything. Besides, your one true love could easily be someone not in our class, let alone our school or even Hillwood."
With no warning, Lila's face twisted; wait a second...were the boys seeing things or did she seem a little...angry?
"Some people don't find it to be just a game, Milo," she reacted with a slight huff and her arms crossed over her chest. Her usually bright-verdant eyes darkened.
Her sentiment did not go unanswered. Milo narrowed his eyes a little and copied Lila's gesture, confused and annoyed at the sudden attitude. He'd only given his honest opinion...so what on earth gave her reason to get steamed at him for it?
"Well, I'm not one of those people. What's it to everyone else if I don't take it as seriously as them. Love isn't as simple as mix-and-matching anyway."
"Love is simple."
"Love is a trial."
Lila and Milo continued their subliminal stand-off, Gerald off to the side and feeling extremely awkward at the moment. Seriously, these guys were usually so civil with each other, he thought. What the heck was going on between them?
Fortunately, Lila broke the tension with a curt, "I believe my father is calling me," and promptly walked away as if nothing had happened.
'Excuse me if I don't buy that crap,' Milo thought drolly with a roll of his emerald eyes at the girl's retreating figure, 'Thank god I don't believe in such cheap love.'
With nothing beyond a mere nod to Gerald, Milo stomped his way past Lila and her father (who was just as utterly confused by the brief argument as Gerald was) and towards the boardinghouse.
Honestly, hearing Helga get gushy would've been merciful in comparison.
"I still don't believe it."
"Which one: Arnoldo's or yours?"
Oh, she had him there. A moment of silence passed on Milo's end of the phone as the young boy carefully pondered Helga's inquiry, hand rubbing the underside of his chin.
"Arnold's but good question...Speaking of whom, you gotta be on Cloud Nine already. It is pretty amazing—and I don't mean that lightly."
Without warning, Helga released a girlish swoon with pure abandon, putting the phone over her heart. It didn't matter to her who heard since neither Bob nor Miriam ever bothered being upstairs at this time of the day, let alone checked up on their younger daughter. Better still, Olga wasn't due for another one of her unbearable visits until sometime next month.
Why should they care about what she did in her private time...as long as it didn't involve setting the house on fire or unleashing a horde of mutant pigeons?
Slipping back into her tough-as-nails persona, Helga scoffed and rolled her sky-blue eyes, despite knowing Milo could see neither of those actions. "Tch, let's just say this, Sparky: I'm gonna be sleeping like a baby tonight."
Back on the boardinghouse end of the conversation, Milo shook his head with a rueful frown, thankful that Helga couldn't see him right now.
If only what Helga's words be said for Arnold as well; last time Milo checked, he was still up in his room like he'd been ever since the two brothers returned home. Arnold didn't even bother returning his Grandpa's greeting, too hung up on his doomed future to even register reality around him.
And for good reason when one thought long enough about it...
The poor guy stubbornly retook Rhonda's marriage predictor test a hundred and nine times—a hundred and nine times. And just like the first time, they all came out the same, the name drilled into the optimist's oddly-shaped head like a devil tent-stake pounded into his skull.
Helga.
Helga.
Helga.
Over and over, time and time again, the flap always flipped over in the end only to throw in Arnold's face the name of the one person with which his boyhood psyche would tolerate the thought of marriage as willingly as a flock of chickens would entrust a hungry coyote to enter their coop.
In short, Arnold was in hell right now—or more precisely envisioning the hell his future would become.
'I know Helga's happy, but still...Arnold's having a tough time right now. I figured the girl who's been so dedicated to making his life miserable as part of her effort of keeping her secret love for him under wraps would at least act a little worried for him.'
Okay, so Arnold was taking the prospect of marriage with Helga a little too far.
That didn't mean he was off the mark in certain regards. For example, Milo could easily envision an older Helga just as fiery and demanding as her younger counterpart, constantly teasing and ordering around a fully-grown Arnold.
And as good of a person Helga truly was deep down, she could be overwhelming at times, especially when she got upset.
But then again, Milo could only make such assumptions based upon what sort of person Helga has been up to now, knowledge particularly limited by how much he knew of her compared to everyone else (which wasn't much either in all honesty).
"Anyway, pipsqueak, enough about me; let's cut to the real chase."
'Oh crap...' the brown-toned artist softly growled as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, already knowing what the blonde would like to know from him. 'I figured it would only be a matter of time before she went there.'
So much for the thrilling aspect of eventual holy matrimony with her beloved football-head distracting her...
Oh well. What was the point in delaying the inevitable?
Relaxing himself to the best of his abilities, Milo sighed through his nose as he dropped his hand to the side. "Alright...just get it over with already."
A shifting of sheets on the other line indicated Helga changing positions on her bed. "Let's get serious here, Sparky. You and Lila—I mean, seriously, how do you feel about that?" Though neither her question nor her tone showed it, Helga held a strong amount of concern for her little brother.
And in hindsight of Arnold's most repeated romantic escapade, she had the right to be.
Lila acted sugar-sweet and polite so constantly that these traits were to a fault. Even the other most optimistic person in the world couldn't deny that Lila Sawyer's pleasantness could be excessive at times, particularly when she repeated the "ever so" in just about all of her sentences.
Not only that but, as endearing as the girl could be, her sense of romance was...shaky, to say the least. This wasn't to say the country girl was loose; it was just that she seemed to have this slightly obsessive enjoyment of attracting the attention of the opposite sex.
Like when she overdramatized the depth of the water at the Cheese Festival's Tunnel of Love...or when she willingly accompanied Arnie to Evil Twins 2 in spite of her stark dislike for horror movies...
Helga slapped a hand to her forehead.
'Criminy, Milo even told me and Phoebe straight out that he can't stand women who have to cling to their men like they've got magnets inside them. Can't say I blame him; I mean just look at who his mom is.'
All the while during Helga's analysis, Milo revisited his earlier thoughts about his supposed future. 'I still don't believe in all this marriage predictor crap...but I really wish people would stop treating my result like it's the latest gossip. That's Rhonda's shtick—and she even promised not to tell everyone.'
He was just a kid, for God's sake. Was allowance to let him leave the future on the backburner for until adolescence too much to ask for?
"To be honest, I don't think Lila and I have much of a future as far as I can tell," Milo admitted as he sat down against the wallpaper-covered wall and remember the subtle argument he had with the country girl earlier today, "She's so willing to believe in fairy-tales and all that jazz. She's too hung up on seeing everything through rose-colored glasses to face reality as it is. I mean, c'mon, why the hell would I want to put with that every day?"
Oh, his criticism provided such music to Helga's ears. Words could not explain glad or relieved that she wouldn't have to go through a repeat of the Arnold-Lila episode.
"Alright, listen Sparky," Helga's authoritative voice knocked Milo out of his thoughts, "don't think I'm going soft or anything just because I'm checking up on ya. I just don't want one of my employees getting sidetracked, ya got it?"
Milo couldn't help a smirk at what he'd just been called. Hearing Helga's sarcasm always comforted him for some weird reason. He put a hand to his chest in mock endearment.
"Employee, huh; gee, Helga, I always knew you cared."
The addressed blonde scoffed playfully. "Tch, believe whatever you'd like to believe, pipsqueak. Just don't let it get to your head—or out of your mouth for that matter. Ya know as well as I do how ruthless those yahoos we're forced to coexist with at school can be."
That may not have been so true...at least in regards of Mr. Simmons' fourth-grade class. Milo could still remember with full lucidity the genuine concern his classmates showed him the other day after they found out about the sibling arrangement that stuck him and Helga together.
He never thought anyone outside of his family could ever care about him so much. Then again, hadn't Helga assumed about as much, only to be proven wrong as well?
Perhaps that's why fate stuck these two misfits together.
And maybe, for better or worse, that's why that piece of paper stuck Milo with Lila as well: to prove something.
Prove what, Milo had no idea. Fortunately, he had plenty of years to figure it out.
Until then, he was happy with just the way things were now.
"Don't worry, sis. I already got it. Anyway, I better get going"—he sniffed the air all of sudden and detected traces of cooked meat—"my nose tells me dinner's almost ready. Goodnight!"
"G'night, Sparky."
And just like that, Milo hung up the phone and walked into the dining room, sketchbook and pencil under his other arm. He took a seat by his mother who acknowledged his presence with a brief smile and curt nod.
Returning the gesture and the expression, Milo opened up his sketchbook and got down to business as usual, life going on as it always has.
In the meantime, after finishing her conversation with her little brother, Helga was just about finished continuing to gush with glee at her good fortune.
Stepping out of her closet after her jovial celebration amidst the presence of her Arnold sculpture, this time adorned with a navy-blue tuxedo and black top-hat, fittingly enough.
"The one boy I've always hoped I would marry...Oh Arnold, Arnold...," she chanted to herself wistfully as she took her locket from off the nightstand next to her bed and kissed it.
Recalling her conversation with Milo dampened her mood somewhat, though, when she thought over the tone used when he'd mentioned Arnold's result being "amazing."
The kid had been dead-on right (as usual). Even with Helga secretly fawning of Arnold over the years, even the Pataki girl had to admit the initial shock she'd experienced the second Rhondaloid announced her as Arnold's wife-to-be.
To the world, the idea of Arnold and Helga together made about as much sense as lions and zebras making out in the savannah.
But hey, a girl could still dream, couldn't she?
'And even if all the other yahoos and yutzes out there refuse to believe it, at least you can be mine in my dreams and fantasies, my beloved,' Helga thought as she tucked herself in bed with a wistful smile. 'And if Fortuna's words are to be believed, my love, then one day surely you will come to your senses and realize we are meant to be.'
And if Rhonda's predictor turned out to be wrong...well, Helga wouldn't stop loving Arnold any less than she did now.
As for the Milo/Lila development, the fiery poet wasn't too worried. Nothing would ever come about from Milo's result.
Life would go on for all of them as it always has.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ever say this would be the end? Yeah, right! This was just my way of setting the plot up, which will be starting up much further down the road.