Quinn POV:
I was so nervous, walking in there to meet Artie.
Scratch that. I was so nervous mailing that first letter to Artie. By the time it got time to walk in there, I was absolutely petrified.
I've thought of Artie almost every day since the last time I saw him. Looking back on the entire time I've known him (at least 12 years), I can't believe I didn't make any sort of move to get closer to him. I was always in the background, but never had the courage to step up and voice my feelings. I know you shouldn't beat yourself up about the past, but if there's one regret I have, it's that I didn't take that step.
Well, I'm taking it now.
He was always so sweet, so kind, so damned lovable. And I just never got my act together. Maybe I cared too much about what other people thought. Or maybe I was too worried that Artie would reject me if I tried. What if I had made my feelings public, and he didn't feel the same way? At the time, that wasn't a risk I felt I could take.
But now I'm different.
The last couple of years have been hard. I thought if I left town I could start fresh somewhere. No one would know I had a baby when I was in high school and gave her up. No one would know I used to be head cheerleader.
And I wouldn't constantly be reminded about my feelings for Artie.
Well, apparently leaving town didn't help with that last one. It was like, no matter where I turned, something reminded me of him. A song on the radio. A dorky sweater vest. A person in a wheelchair. Basically, everything reminded me of Artie.
After I moved, I got a job in a small clothing store. Eventually I worked my way up to be the assistant manager. I hated it. I felt like I was wasting my life. It felt like I should be doing more.
I didn't really make friends after my move...it's hard to meet people in a new town, despite what everyone always says. I attempted some casual dating about three times before I decided that just wasn't going to work. I was too hung up on Artie. He was like the one that got away...and I assumed he didn't even know that.
I was making a semi-comfortable living, but I was so miserable. Most days I just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from the world. I felt so alone and worthless, and it was eating me inside. I also felt vulnerable and scared. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get myself out of the rut I'd created. I felt like I needed a fresh start to recuperate from my fresh start.
The day I wrote the letter started out like any other. I went to work in the morning, and went home afterwards. As I walked through the door, I glanced up at the calendar, and realized that it was almost his birthday. First I thought about phoning him, but quickly decided against it. If I was going to be rejected, it was not going to be on the phone after a long day's work. Then I thought about emailing him, but that just always seems so impersonal. At that point, I remembered something my mother always told me... "If you want someone to know that you really mean what you're saying, and can't talk to them in person, write them a letter and mail it. A handwritten sentiment is worth so much more than pushing some buttons and hitting send."
I knew what I had to do. I poured my heart and soul onto several sheets of paper, sealed it with a kiss, and mailed it.
Then the hard part came...I had to wait. It didn't take long for Artie's response to arrive...he must have written it the day he got the letter, and sent it right away.
I think I probably read that letter about 30 times before everything sank in.
He had feelings for me too.
He wanted to get together.
He signed his letter "love, Artie."
Wow.
In my reply to him, I said I kept it short because I was on my way to work. That wasn't true...I kept it short because I was scared I would say something that might put him off, and I wanted to make sure could see him in person. He didn't respond to my letter, but I was really only expecting a response if he couldn't make it, so I took his silence to mean he would be there.
So, there I was, the corner of Main and St. George. I was trying so hard to keep it together. I spent most of the drive back to town crying, and had to make a stop to reapply my makeup. I wouldn't have bothered, but the face I saw staring back at me in that mirror looked so old and tired...I didn't want to go to my first "real" meeting with Artie looking like that. It was going to be hard enough. I don't know why I cried so much...fear? Relief? Excitement? Whatever it was...it had been a long time since I cried like that.
When I walked through the door, I saw him right away. He looked so nervous. And cute.
Adorable, actually.
As soon as I got closer to him, it was like everything that was bad in my life went away. His smile was even bigger and brighter than I remembered. It felt like I was doing the right thing for the first time in a long time. It felt like home.
At that moment I knew everything was going to be ok.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! Look for the next chapter sometime this weekend. Feedback would be greatly appreciated, as usual.
I know the tense shifts a bit...oh well, I needed it to so I could go where I wanted to go. Good thing this isn't some sort of formally-written thing, and it's ok if it's not 100% grammatically correct!
Also, just for clarification, in the little universe I've created here Quinn and Artie didn't have much interaction in high school (even less than they have on the show.)
I have a bunch of ideas for oneshots floating around in my head...we'll see if any of them materialize into actual stories over the next week or so.